The chair legs screeched across the floor as Anna moved to get up.
“Anna, you don’t have to leave,” Joe said, sending a disapproving look to Harvey.
Harvey finally got the message and went back to the storage room to give them privacy.
“No, it’s okay.” Anna continued to rise from her chair and moved to put the remainder of her food into the refrigerator.
“Please, Anna. Let’s talk,” Joe implored.
Anna worriedly glanced down at his hand on her arm. “I don’t think that’s a gut idea. I’m betrothed to Aaron now,” she reminded him.
“About the quilts that were in my room –”
“Joe, please.” Anna shook her head and briskly exited the room.
“Ugh!” Joe kicked his foot against the wall in frustration, then sunk into the chair Anna had just evacuated. What he felt like doing is picking it up and throwing it against the wall. But he was certain Linda would not appreciate that.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Linda poured two mugs of steaming coffee, then slid one across the table to Joe and took a seat. Harvey enjoyed sleeping in, so Joe never begrudged his old friend of the pleasure. Joseph suspected Linda knew what was coming before he ever uttered a word.
“I’ve decided to leave,” Joe told his boss.
“Where will you go?” She took a small sip of her coffee.
Joseph looked into his mug, its contents already half gone. He’d always enjoyed coffee hot, the hotter the better. “I’m thinking of going to Paradise to visit my friend, Samuel Beachy.”
“How long will you be gone?”
Joe shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe till February.”
“But that’s after Anna’s…” she let her voice trail off, now sorry that she mentioned it. Of course, that’s why he wouldn’t return until February. It was after the wedding. “I’m sorry, Joe.”
“Not as sorry as I am,” Joe breathed deeply, attempting to keep his emotions in check.
“We’ll miss you,” Linda said. “I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done.”
He shrugged. “It wasn’t much.”
“Yes, it was. It was a lot, Joe. Anna and her grandmother probably would have lost their home if it weren’t for you.”
“Linda, please. I’m trusting you not to saying anything to Anna.”
“Yes, I know. But I have no idea why.”
“I don’t want her to feel obligated to me. If she knows…” His voice trailed off a moment while he gathered his thoughts. “I don’t want her love based on something I did.” Joe sighed. “Do you know how difficult it is to be accused – and convicted – of something you didn’t do? Linda, this has been my entire life. I was shunned unjustly from my family and the only community I’ve ever known. I lost my friends and a very good, well-paying job because of something I did not do – and I went to prison for it. I wasn’t there long, but the fact remains. And now, because of being accused of something once again, I’ve lost the love of my life. But I don’t want her to love me for what I do or don’t do. I want her to love me for who I am. Does that make sense?”
“It makes perfect sense.”
“Life is so frustrating at times.” He covered his face with his hands. “I’m sorry for dumping all this on you.”
“That’s okay, Joe. Everybody needs someone to talk to once in a while.” Linda took another sip of coffee. “Have you given your cares to God?”
“No, thank you. I’ve tried all that. It doesn’t work.”
“Work? What do you mean?”
“Every time I start trusting God, something bad happens. All these things, they happened when I was trusting God.”
“So, you don’t trust God because bad things happen?” She raised a brow. “You don’t want people to accuse you, but it seems you are accusing God. Did God shun you? Did God accuse you of wrong doing and put you into prison? Did God cause you to lose Anna? God has not done these things. Man has.
“I’ll tell you what God did do. He sent Jesus to die on the cross so you could be saved. To forgive your sins. That doesn’t sound like condemnation; that sounds like hope.”
Joe sat silent, pondering her words.
“You don’t want Anna to love for what you do but because of who you are, right? But you won’t love God for who He is. And it seems like you may be falsely accusing Him of things He hasn’t done,” Linda said. “God doesn’t promise us an easy life, Joe. But He does promise to love us and never leave us, no matter what happens.”
“You sound like Harvey,” he said wryly.
Linda smiled. “I knew there was a reason I liked him.”
<><><>
Joseph steadied himself as the buggy hit a large pothole and resumed his musings. He glanced at Jacob, eyeing his friend with admiration. What would it be like to be settled down and married to a woman you were crazy about? How different would life be if he had three sweet little girls like Jacob had? He’d watched how the girls would practically leap into his arms the moment he walked into the house. He’d seen how his wife’s whole countenance brightened the moment their eyes met. His friend lived a life he could only dream about.
For Joseph, though, that dream seemed unattainable. Impossible, even.
“You look like you’re a million miles away,” Jacob commented.
Joe shook his head. “You know, Jacob, you’re a lucky man.”
“Well, I don’t know how much luck has to do with it, but I am blessed.” Jacob smiled. “What makes you say that?”
“It seems like you have it all. A wife, kinner, and probably your own home soon.”
“God has been good for certain sure, but it hasn’t all been easy.” Jacob flicked the reins and veered the buggy a little to the right so a car could pass. “Rachel and I don’t always see eye to eye.” He chuckled, remembering their courting days. “She practically had to knock me out to get me to see that she loved me in the first place. I was pretty thick-headed.
“And my sister jumping the fence hadn’t been easy either. We’ve dealt with some hardships. But jah, having Rachel by my side has made my burden a little lighter.”
Joseph rubbed the back of his neck where his hair had grown out some. “I often wonder about my folks too. When I was put under the Bann, I imagine it was not easy for them.”
“It seems your district was quite strict, jah?”
“One of the toughest, I hear.” He shrugged.
“You’ll be happy to know that Bishop Hostettler is pretty lenient – or maybe I should say merciful – for the most part. Not too many have been excommunicated in Paradise, or here, for that matter.”
“Jah, I admit I was a little surprised how readily you accepted a shunned man. It would not be so in my old district. Seems like they were tolerant with certain things they should have been strict on, and strict on things they should have been tolerant on. Didn’t make much sense in my mind.” He shook his head.
“Rules can be good or bad. I don’t think blatant sin should ever be tolerated. Especially if it’s something Der Herr despises.”
“Do you think he despises orange safety triangles?” Joseph chuckled, thinking how absurd it all sounded.
Jacob laughed. “Is that what you were shunned for?”
“No, but almost.” He smiled. “I’m glad you invited me along today, I’ve been needing a breath of fresh air.”
“I can use an extra set of eyes to help me pick out a gut mare. Rachel’s been wanting to go riding.” Jake smiled. “That’s something we used to do all the time, but since the kinner have come we haven’t had much opportunity.”
Joseph imagined riding through an open field or into a copse of trees with Anna. “That sounds nice.”
“Anything in particular you want to talk about?”
It seemed Jacob could read him well. Why did it seem certain friends could pick up on your moods? “Jah, I’m thinking of going to visit Samuel in Paradise.”
“For how long?”
“Don’t k
now. Might just stay there.”
“Really? That’s too bad. I was hoping you’d be staying around here. I don’t really know too many folk in these parts. I was looking forward to having a friend close by.” Jacob frowned. “Why are you leaving?”
“Simply put: Anna. I can’t stay here and watch her marry someone else.” Joe shook his head.
“I thought maybe there was something between the two of you when we first arrived. What happened?”
“Aaron brought up something from my past. Now she’s convinced I’m some sort of crook.”
Jacob lifted a brow. “Are you?”
Joseph shook his head in denial. “But it doesn’t matter. She’s supposed to marry him in February.”
Jacob chuckled.
“Why are you laughing?” Here Joe was pouring his heart out and Jacob was laughing? He frowned in disapproval.
“I don’t even think she likes Aaron. I don’t see how she thinks she’s going to marry him.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s never in a good mood when he’s around. And when he finally leaves the house, she sighs as though she’s glad he’s gone.” Jacob cupped Joe’s shoulder. “But when we first arrived, she seemed happy. You should have seen the way her face lit up when you walked in the room. You have something Aaron doesn’t have.”
“What’s that?”
“Her heart. She obviously loves you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Anna, Mammi, and Rachel all sat in the schtupp near the fire place with hot tea in hands. Anna glanced up at the clock again. It seemed like Jacob should have been back by now. They’d already finished supper, but set aside two plates for Jacob and Joe, knowing they’d be hungry upon their return.
The thought of Joseph being in the house again both excited and unnerved Anna. Perhaps when he arrived she should just go upstairs to her room. It would probably be best if she didn’t see him. But something inside of her wanted to – longed to, even. Oh, what a jumble of emotions she was!
He’s a thief, she reminded herself.
As the clip-clop of horses’ hooves entered the driveway, Anna watched Rachel rush to the window. “They’re here,” her excited voice announced. She hurried to the door to gander at the new horse Jacob rode. Anna figured Joe must have driven the buggy home.
“It’s a paint!” Rachel exclaimed. “I can’t wait to ride her.”
Anna smiled. Watching Rachel’s reaction to the horse was like watching a child open up Christmas gift.
Several moments later, the sound of stomping boots on the back porch reached their ears. In spite of herself, Anna glanced up at Joe as they walked through the door. He was now wearing a black felt hat – an Amish hat. Anna thought he looked quite handsome, she had to admit. For a brief moment, their eyes locked until Joseph looked away.
“Your hat,” she blurted out.
Joe offered a brief soft smile. “Picked it up in town.” He removed his hat and placed it on the peg near the door.
Jacob spoke now, “He wanted to pick up a nice hat before he leaves for Paradise.” Her cousin’s gaze met hers, sensing her unspoken question. “Joe’s leaving us.”
Anna’s heart clenched. “He is?” She looked to Joseph.
Joe nodded.
“When?” her spoken words were almost a whisper.
“Tomorrow,” Joe said quietly.
Mammi moved around them and sat two plates on the table for the men. She beckoned them to sit down. Rachel refilled the ladies’ tea cups and they joined the men at the table.
Rachel spoke up, “Speaking of Paradise, Leah called.”
“My Mamm?” Jacob asked. “What did she call about?”
Rachel’s tone sobered. “It’s not good news, Jacob.”
“What? What is it? What’s wrong?” Anna sensed panic in Jacob’s voice.
“Samuel was in a buggy accident,” Rachel said.
Jacob locked eyes with Joseph. “Samuel? Samuel Beachy?”
Joe’s head lowered.
“He died, Jacob,” Rachel finally divulged.
Joe spoke now, a look of unbelief flashed across his face. “Samuel Beachy is dead?”
“That is what Jacob’s mother said,” Mammi volunteered. “Apparently, there was a woman with him too. She has been hospitalized.”
“His wife?” Joseph asked.
“No, Samuel was a widower,” Jacob said. “His wife died of cancer not that long ago.”
<><><>
The news of Samuel’s sudden death had been shocking and saddening. He’d had no idea that his friend had been married, nor that he was a widower. Joseph chided himself for not visiting sooner. Now he’d never have the opportunity to see Samuel again.
He couldn’t help but feel like God was throwing him for another loop. What was he going to do now? That had been his escape, his excuse to leave. With Samuel now gone, he had no good excuse.
“I’d like to go to the funeral.” Jacob looked to his wife.
Rachel nodded, but Joseph sensed a bit of anxiousness.
Jake seemed to read his wife’s thoughts. “You and the girls may stay here, Rachel.” He turned to Joe. “You want to come to the funeral with me?”
Joseph nodded. “I’d like that. When is it?”
“In two days,” Rachel informed them.
“We’ll have to leave tomorrow,” Jacob said.
“Already?” Joe turned to Anna, surprised that she’d spoken. “Uh…I mean, does this mean that you won’t be working at the store? We’ve been busy lately,” she recovered.
“I’m certain you and Linda can handle it, jah?” Joe answered. He finished the remainder of his supper, then looked to Jacob. “What time do you want to leave?”
“I was thinking mid-morning would be a gut time. Say eight o’clock?”
“Sounds gut. Well, I better be going. It’s getting late.” Joseph turned to Mammi. “Thank you for the fine supper.”
Anna watched in dismay as Joseph lifted his hat from the rack, placed it on his head, and stepped outside into the night.
<><><>
Anna placed a bolt of fabric back on the shelf after cutting four yards for a customer. She ambled over to the cash register and rung up the sale, glad when the customer finally exited the store.
This was not a good day. In fact, it had been terrible.
Everything she’d done had turned out wrong. The four yards of material she’d just cut was supposed to be three. She’d inadvertently spoken Deitsh to a group of women who stared back at her as though she were an alien from outer space. She’d accidentally given a customer back a one dollar bill instead of a ten and the customer complained to her boss that Anna had been trying to cheat her.
And it was only ten-thirty.
She hadn’t slept well at all last night. The thought of Joseph leaving for good didn’t settle well. When she finally did fall asleep, she’d dreamt about him. Why couldn’t she get him out of her mind? Every time she reminded herself that Joseph Bender was a thief, her heart rebelled. Understanding her chaotic emotions seemed impossible.
By the time she arrived at the store this morning, Joe had already been gone. Gone, that’s it. No nice knowing ya, no maybe we’ll see each other again sometime, no anything.
He hadn’t even said goodbye.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Joseph closed his eyes as he pondered the task ahead of him: attending Samuel Beachy’s funeral. Why is it that life presented so many challenges? And regrets. If he wouldn’t have hesitated when he first considered going to see Samuel, he’d have had a chance to see his friend alive.
He hadn’t known Samuel all that well, but during the summer Samuel had gone to Ohio to work with his uncle Timothy, they had bonded. Samuel was helping with the harvest and Joseph had been filling in for his brother at the buggy shop. Samuel was a buggy maker by trade, so naturally he asked a lot of questions about the different styles of buggies in the neighboring districts.
They were both in rumspri
nga the time, and although it was verboten in Joseph’s district, a lot of young men rebelled anyway. One of Joseph’s friends owned a car, so they’d go to the Englischers’ movie theater, roller skating rink, and bowling alley. Joseph had been courting Mary at the time, so he was willing to do whatever it took to keep her away from home. Samuel had met a girl from his uncle’s district named Carolanne. Jacob had just recently informed Joseph that Carolanne eventually became Samuel’s wife.
Joseph hadn’t seen Samuel since that summer and often wondered what became of him. If he’d known Samuel had moved back to Ohio, he might have gone to see him after his shunning. It was a dark time in his life and he’d been desperate for friends. Not only was he dealing with his excommunication, but he’d also been mourning Mary’s recent death.
Apparently, Samuel had only moved back to Paradise a few weeks ago. After his wife Carolanne passed on, he decided to move back home to be near his family and close friends.
“We’re almost there,” Jacob informed Joe.
Joseph opened his eyes and looked around. This is what he loved about the Amish culture – uniformity. He could visit nearly any Amish district and feel a sense of home and commonality, a comfort unknown in the Englisch world he’d lived. For the most part, a lot of districts were the same by appearance. The houses and barns were similar, the dress was always decent and modest, transportation was by horse and buggy – although he’d heard that there were some faster Amish groups that even drove automobiles and used electric. In his former Swartzentruber sect, they weren’t even allowed to ride in a vehicle unless it was an emergency.
One thing he greatly favored about the faster Amish groups was indoor plumbing. Using an outhouse still didn’t bother him, but indoor facilities were so much more pleasant. Jacob had informed him that his maternal grandmother ran a bed ‘n breakfast and that was where they’d be staying. He said the bed ‘n breakfast contained three indoor restrooms. Imagine that - three restrooms in one Amish home!
A Secret Encounter (Amish Secrets--Book 2) Page 12