They were fascinating. No man should be allowed to have lips that full and plump.
I followed the length of his aristocratic nose to latch onto those dark, dark eyes. Ginny's words from earlier rang in my ears '… Dr. Hottie and Dr. Stormy…' With his boyish good looks, I could easily see how people would refer to Dr. Hogue as Dr. Hottie. Just as I could see the reason behind Dr. Ryker's nickname.
There was a storm brewing behind those eyes. And I was pretty sure it was directed at me. He opened his mouth to speak, the warmth of his breath brushing my forehead with every word.
"That's the third time today, Phillips."
A weird sensation started in my belly. It could've been butterflies taking flight, but I hadn't experienced it too many times before, so I couldn't be sure. His stare never wavered, hell, he didn't even blink. For whatever reason, I needed a reprieve from the intensity behind it.
My eyes flicked to my arm still in the air, his big hands still wrapped around mine and the to-go cup. They were soft—as a doctor's hands should be—but his grip was firm. Why the hell I was even taking note of it was anyone's freaking guess.
Shifting my attention back to him, I pulled my shoulders back.
"I said I was sorry. Now if you wouldn't mind releasing me, my coffee is getting cold."
His brows drew together and dipped into a deep V, but he didn't let go.
Instead, he leaned a bit closer. "Make me."
His voice was so low and gravelly, warmth immediately spread through my body.
"What?" I squeaked out. "What did you just say?"
His eyes shut, thick, black lashes fanning his cheek. When he opened them again, he seemed indifferent.
"Nothing."
Releasing his hold, he sidestepped me and started talking to the lady behind the counter, leaving me to believe I might have imagined the entire exchange.
Shaking my head, I started looking around. Everyone was minding their own business. No weird looks or giggles. Nothing. I angled my head and glanced at Dr. Ryker over my shoulder. With narrowed eyes, I shot daggers at the back of his head before my gaze started to roam out of its own volition. He had broad shoulders, but they weren't bulky. If I had to guess, I'd say his workout routine consisted of equal amounts of cardio and light weights.
I moved lower and because he wasn't wearing his white coat, I was able to admire the delicious way in which the fabric of his pants stretched across his butt. His very, very fine butt.
Oh. My. Goodness.
Did I really just ogle Dr. Ryker?
I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth to stop the mortified screech from coming out. Pressing my chin against my chest, I started moving, and I didn't stop until I was sitting on one of the benches in the garden.
"What the hell is wrong with me?"
Lifting the lid of the cup, I held it a few inches away from my cheek to test the warmth of the steam—something my dad had always done. I was fairly certain the heat simmering its way through my body was a lot hotter than my drink.
Bringing the cup to my mouth, I swallowed down a generous amount of my coffee. Hopefully, the warmth that made its way down my throat would burn some sense into me. Because I seriously needed to get a damn grip.
Yes, Dr. Ryker was, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful men I'd laid eyes on. Getting lost in those dark eyes would be so easy. Dreaming about his sinful looking mouth and hands on me, hardly a hardship.
But I wasn't there for that.
I came to learn from the best.
I simply had to push the annoying little crush I had on the man to the very back of my mind and remember how hard I'd worked to get where I was.
There was no way I was going to throw all that away for a man. As I drained the rest of my drink, I decided all thoughts of Dr. Ryker needed to go into a do-not-touch container. And they needed to stay there.
***
I closed the door behind me and immediately slid down it until my butt connected with the floor. I pulled my legs into my chest and bent my head to rest my cheek on my knees.
"I think I'll just sleep here."
Exhausted didn't even begin to cover the tired feeling spreading through my body. Not even close.
Those few minutes I'd spent sitting on the bench in the garden turned out to be the only time I had for sitting down—except when I went to the bathroom, but even that was get in, get out. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that one shift could hold so much madness.
The crazy thing? I loved every freaking minute of it. In fact, I was fairly certain if they called me right that second and asked me to go back in, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I wrapped my arms around my legs and zeroed in on one of the photos on my bookcase. A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth as I slowly pushed to my feet. Toeing off my shoes, I padded across the room.
The thick pewter frame felt heavy in my hands. The feeling inside my chest even heavier. Brushing my fingers over the faces staring back at me, I finally allowed the tears I'd been holding in to fall.
"Oh, Daddy. I know you're looking down on me, but I wish you were here. I wish I had the chance to show you that I'd followed my dreams, just like I'd promised I would." Sniffling, I wiped my nose with the back of my hand. "I would've given anything to see the look on your face." My lids squeezed together when I held the frame against my lips.
When my eyes finally dried, I pulled the frame back and stroked my dad's smiling face one last time. Returning the frame to its spot, I made my way through my modest one-bedroom apartment.
What I needed was a hot shower and my bed. Stat.
Chapter 6
SEBASTIAN
My fingers lazily traced along the rim of my soda glass. Simon and I had switched to non-alcoholic beverages almost an hour ago. We weren't exactly twenty anymore, waking up with a hangover didn't sound pleasant at all. And don't even get me started with working on open wounds while your stomach churned violently.
Yeah, been there, done that.
"I had the pleasure of working with one of yours earlier," Simon stated.
"Yeah?"
"Mhm." He swallowed down a healthy amount of his drink. "Dr. Lawrence… I have to say, Sebastian, I've seen two of your doctors in action now, and they were both pretty damn good under pressure." His bright blue eyes pinned me in place. "How are you going to choose just one?"
Shaking my head, I brought my own drink to my lips. "I don't know," I answered honestly when I set the empty glass on the coaster. "I've decided I would only be focusing on their performance on my floor since that will be where they'll be spending all of their time."
I glanced at the wall-mounted digital clock. It was getting late and my friend had a family to get home to. With that thought, a pang of something hit against my chest. Hard.
I didn't think of myself as lonely. My family and I checked in with each other at least once a week. Thanks to my twenty-pound tabby Maine Coon, I didn't go home to an empty house. And on the rare occasion I sought out female company, it was never in short supply.
So, why the hell did the thought of Simon going home to his wife and kids cause a stirring inside of me?
"Sebastian?" I didn't know how it was possible, but Simon sounded both annoyed and amused at the same time.
"What?"
His features turned worried in an instant. He leaned forward, deep lines wrinkling his forehead. "I said I was heading out, but I can stay if there's something you want to talk about."
Where the hell did I even begin?
When I'd walked into the hospital that morning, everything had been perfect. I was looking forward to meeting my new team. Hopeful we'd make headway with Cheryl's case. Then she happened, and my entire day had gone to shit. Yeah, that might've sounded harsh, but freaking hell, one person had never had the ability to crawl under my skin as Phillips had within seconds of meeting her.
At first, I'd thought it was mild annoyance but when she stood in front of me in the cafeteria. So close that I could smell her
citrus shampoo and count the freckles on her nose, I knew exactly what it was.
Attraction.
There was no way I could tell Simon this, so I settled for something else that was weighing on me because my friend deserved some truthfulness at least.
"Mrs. DuBois's case is grating on me. Diagnosing an illness has never taken this long."
Understanding and sympathy were evident on his face when he smacked his palm against my shoulder blade.
"It's tough, I know. But you'll get there." After throwing a few bills on the counter—it was his turn to get the tab—he hopped off the stool. "All right, I'm off."
We said our goodbyes, but instead of going home, I opted to go for a walk. Before I knew it, I was strolling down Benefit Street, taking in the beautiful historic Federal and Victorian homes that preserved our city's colonial history.
I'd lived in Providence all my life and because my parents were from here—they'd met at Brown and were both surgeons at Memorial until they retired five years ago—I never saw a reason to go anywhere else.
But as I came to a halt in front of Providence Athenaeum, I had to admit I suddenly felt like a stranger. Not only in this city, but my own skin too. Nothing about my life had ever bothered me. I was happy. Or at least I thought I was.
The thought that I might've been spending too much time perfecting my work, instead of building stronger relationships with the people closest to me, had been playing on my mind a lot lately.
Even though I would never admit this out loud to anyone, there was this worry somewhere inside of me that I had somehow missed my chance at happiness. That I wasn't going to have what my friend had.
At the end of the day, success meant nothing without someone to share it with. My parents showed me that.
I let out a slow breath as I tilted my head toward the sky. It was such a beautiful night and here I was souring it by thinking of things that were better left alone. Maybe I was just tired. Tucking my hands inside my pockets, I started on the 30-minute walk to my apartment, hoping beyond hopes that the mess that was my mind would be clear by the time I stepped through my front door.
Chapter 7
MIA
"Hey, Mia, wait up!"
I froze mid-step to look over my shoulder at Mary, sidestepping a few patients. Her cheeks were red, her face the picture of concentration. The first time I'd seen her I'd thought the woman had just completed a ten-mile run. As it turned out, Dr. Lawrence's pale white skin changed color with even the slightest bit of effort.
Burying my hands inside the pockets of my white coat, I turned around completely and waited until Mary made it to where I was standing. I liked her. Which was a good thing considering Dr. Ryker usually paired us together.
Speaking of… the man had not warmed up to me one bit. In fact, during the past two weeks, his mood had soured even more. And although I knew it shouldn't, it bugged the crap out of me that he would greet the other doctors with a friendly smile on his stupidly handsome face, but when it came to me, I'd get nothing more than a scowl and a grunt.
The only thing I hated more was the way the butterflies in my belly would flip when I'd catch him staring at me across a room. Or how my pulse would speed up whenever we shared the same space.
It's just a teeny tiny crush, I assured myself. It would pass sooner or later.
Wouldn't it?
"I got you one too," Mary said cheerily as she shoved the to-go cup my way.
I caught it just in time to stop the contents from spilling onto my chest. She chuckled, the sound of it joyful and carefree.
Pulling her shoulders to her ears, she said, "Whoopsie. Guess I did that with a lot more force than was necessary."
I removed the lid and held the cup to my cheek. Without closing it again, I took a generous gulp of the warm, caffeinated drink. After I wiped my mouth with the side of my hand, I grinned at Mary.
"You're lucky I like you."
Her hand went to her chest and her eyes wide with mock relief. "I know, right?"
Both of us laughed before we made our way to the elevator.
"One of the nurses told me you came to see Mrs. DuBois last night." When I looked her way, she pinned me with a stare. Her light eyebrows arched high. "On your day off?"
One of the first things you learn in medical school is not to get attached to patients. I could still hear Professor Levenson's raspy warning, "Your job is to save lives, not make friends."
I had every intention of doing just that until I saw Mrs. DuBois sit on her own day in and day out. For whatever reason, the thought of her being there by herself didn't sit well with me. So, I'd been sitting with her on some of my breaks as well as coming in on my day off during visiting hours.
"Yeah… I feel bad for her. Have you seen anyone come visit her in the past two weeks?"
Mary shook her head before taking a delicate sip of her coffee. "I haven't, but Mia, you can't get attached."
"I know." We reached the closed elevator and after poking the button, I turned my back to the doors to face Mary. "It's just not in me to treat a case and not a person." Behind me, the doors dinged as I took another few gulps of my coffee. "Maybe I should ask Dr. Ryker to teach me his heartless ways?"
The color drained from Mary's face; her eyes grew so big I was afraid they'd pop right out of their sockets. She opened her mouth, and a small little mouse squeak escaped.
I didn't even have to look.
Pressing my lips into a thin line, I muttered, "He's behind me, isn't he?"
Her head started bobbing up and down before the last word left my mouth.
Great. Just freaking great.
I released a breath and pivoted.
Sure enough, there he was, standing just inside the elevator; that now-familiar storm in his eyes focused solely on me. His jaw muscle ticked away, just about matching my heart's wild gallop. It was only when I heard a snicker that I realized he wasn't alone. Dr. Hogue was standing off to the side, his outstretched hand stopping the doors from sliding shut.
Even if the look on Dr. Ryker's face hadn't clued me in that he'd heard what I'd said, the amusement shining in Dr. Hogue's eyes surely would have. If Sebastian Ryker didn't have a reason to dislike me before, he sure as hell had one now.
Pretty sure we looked like a bunch of idiots with them standing inside the elevator and Mary and me standing outside. All four of us just staring. It was ridiculous. Flicking my braid over my shoulder, I stood a bit taller and aimed my stare at Dr. Stormy.
"Are you getting out or going up with us?"
Behind me, poor Mary gasped for air while Dr. Hogue had a hard time keeping his laugh at bay. Dr. Ryker, though, he glared. Undeterred, I popped out my hip and tapped my foot.
"Well?"
If human beings were capable of spitting fire, this man would've engulfed me in flames. He was so furious, the vein in his forehead looked ready to burst.
"You done with your rounds?" Even when his voice dripped acid, it was smooth and silky and oh-so-sexy. Stop it, Mia.
"Sure did. And before you ask, Gillian has my reports too."
Dr. Ryker's dark brows dipped low. "I want to see you in my office in thirty minutes."
Was I finally going to get the take-your-stuff-and-go speech? I straightened my index and middle finger and pressed them above my brow in a mock salute.
"Yes, sir. Now, if you don't mind, Mary and I would very much like to take the elevator to the fourth floor."
"Oh, we can take the stairs too, I don't mind," Mary quickly spat out the words.
"But I do." My gaze stayed locked onto Dr. Ryker's dark one. He cocked his head just a smidge before stalking toward me like a predator circling its prey.
One step, then two, then three. Before I knew it, we were toe to toe. Those pesky little butterflies in my tummy fluttered about furiously while his ridiculously delicious scent wrapped around me like a hug. I wasn't short or petite, but standing in front of this giant of a man was intimidating. I'd never show it, tho
ugh. Tilting my chin upward ever so slightly, I kept our gazes locked.
He leaned in, close enough for me to smell mint on his breath, and gritted out, "Thirty minutes, Phillips." Then he took one step to the side and walked past me, his arm brushing mine in the process. Even though four layers of fabric separated our skin, I still felt the heat of his touch. So small, yet so magnified.
So stupid.
"Ladies," Dr. Hogue tipped his head, his amusement evident in the too-wide-grin he was sporting and the mirth shining in his eyes. He, too, slipped past us and hurried away. I turned in time to see his palm connect with Dr. Ryker's shoulder blade while his head was thrown back with laughter.
"I can't believe you just did that," Mary breathed out when the shiny doors slid shut and the elevator began its climb.
"Did what?" I swallowed down the rest of my coffee and concentrated very hard on not squishing the empty cup. Every single encounter with that man left me wired. It set my entire body on high alert, almost like it was readying itself for some sort of fight.
"The way you spoke to Dr. Ryker," she shook her head. "Aren't you afraid he'll fire you or something?"
I pulled my braid over my shoulder and twirled it between my fingers. "He's just a person, Mary. If he wants my respect, he has to earn it." Giving her a long sideways glance, I added, "You can't tell me you haven't noticed that he treats me differently."
"Well, yeah. But still—" she shifted her feet uncomfortably, her fingers scrubbing the back of her neck. "He basically has our careers in his hands. It's not smart to piss him off."
The elevator jerked to a stop, the doors parting with a whoosh, and we stepped onto our floor. Touching my palm to Mary's forearm, I halted her.
"Memorial isn't the only hospital with a diagnostics department. It very well is the only one with a Dr. Ryker, but he isn't the beginning and end of all things. He isn't some sort of god with a superpower; he's just a man." I pinned her with a stare. "Remember that."
Egotistical Jerk: A Hero Club Novel Page 3