"If you say so," I muttered under my breath.
"I do. Mimi, nothing about loving someone is easy. The moment you utter those words, you're telling the other person it's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to say and do stupid things sometimes because you will be there to catch them. Saying 'I love you' is equivalent to saying 'I know you're not perfect and that our life might not be sunshine and roses all the time, but there's nowhere else I'd rather be.'"
My throat felt thick and my heart heavy. Did I love Sebastian? Was it even possible to love someone so soon?
I must've said it out loud because my aunt spoke again, her voice wistful, her smile dreamy. "Oh yes, it is." Aunt Vera's lids fluttered closed. "I knew your uncle was it for me the very minute I laid eyes on him." She opened her eyes and zeroed in on me. "My heart beat differently almost as if it had found its song, and could finally beat to the rhythm of it."
Pushing to her feet, she rested her hands on my shoulders and squeezed. "Love doesn't abide by a certain set of rules except one: don't wait until it's too late." Giving her words time to sink in, she rubbed up and down my upper arms. "I don't know about you, but I am starving."
Her words stayed with me while I helped her prepare a chicken and rice dish. They never left, not when we were eating or even when I cleaned up the kitchen for her. They were still bouncing around in my head when I trudged up the stairs leading to my apartment later that night.
Holding onto the railing, I looked down at my foot resting on the top step and made a decision. Quite possibly a life-changing decision. In the morning, after a good night's rest, I'd tuck away my pride and tell the man that owned my heart exactly how I felt about him.
I cemented it with a quick jerk of my head before stepping onto the landing. Three things happened at once after that.
The breath left my lungs in one big whoosh.
My heart flatlined before it toppled over and started thrashing against my ribs like a caged animal.
One whispered word blew over my lips.
"Sebastian."
Chapter 28
SEBASTIAN
Big, wide eyes met mine as I slowly got up from where I sat against Mia's door. My joints creaked, and I wasn't sure if I still had an ass.
That's how long I'd been waiting outside her apartment.
When I arrived earlier in the day and realized she wasn't home, I was afraid to leave. Afraid I might miss her. Might miss my chance to make this right. There was a good distance between us as Mia stood rooted to her spot at the top of the stairs. Still, the hurt and shock on her face was unmistakable.
We stood staring at each other for too many minutes to count. All I wanted to do was take her in my arms and never let go. I held my breath when Mia angled her head to the side and looked down at the path she just came from. I swear, if she was going to bolt, I was going to give chase.
More long agonizing seconds ticked by before she finally took a step forward. The breath I held rushed from my lungs and my shoulders sagged with relief. I could see her chew on the inside of her cheek as she took careful steps toward me.
When she stopped beside me to unlock her door, not reaching out and tugging her to my chest was almost impossible. Mia's gaze flicked to her fingers curled around the handle before lifting to meet mine.
"Have—" the word came out groggy and hoarse, I knew it was because of all the crying. Her chest rose and fell with the deep drag of air she took. After a quick flick of her tongue over her lips, she spoke again. "Have you been waiting long?"
"Doesn't matter. Can I come in, please?"
Mia's eyes roamed over my face. For a moment I thought she was going to say something. But she only gave me a terse nod before pushing into her apartment with me in tow.
"Do you want something to drink?" Dropping her keys on the coffee table, she toed off her shoes.
I shook my head. "No. I want to talk. Explain, if you'll let me."
Shaking her head, she made her way to the master bedroom leaving me with no other choice than to follow.
"Mia, please?" Drawers were yanked open, clothes tugged out and thrown on the bed.
"There's nothing to explain, Sebastian." In one swift motion, she pulled the top of her scrubs over her head before stepping out of the bottoms.
"So… what… We're done? Just like that?"
The stupid muscle behind my breastbone constricted violently. So painful, I had to press my fingers to the spot. If she didn't want me, that was fine. Well, no, it wasn't. It was very far from fine. But I wasn't going to leave without giving her my truth whether she wanted to hear it or not.
"I should have been honest with you about everything. It might not look like it from where you're standing, but my actions came from a place of fear."
Still in only her underwear, she snatched a piece of clothing from the bed. I had no idea if she was hearing me or not, but I had to forge on.
"It's such a damn cliché, but Mia, I've never felt about anyone the way I feel about you, and I was scared that once you had to choose between your job and me, I'd lose."
Inside my chest, my heart started jack-hammering. I took one deep steadying breath and went on. "How could I possibly let you walk out of my life after I'd just found you?"
It was only when she pulled the material over her head that I realized it was my shirt she was wearing. Reaching up to pull the elastic from her hair and undo her braid, she kept her eyes trained on me.
"I know."
"What?" Yeah, I sounded like the world's biggest idiot. Felt like one, too. I spilled my guts, and that's all she had to say?
The beginning of a smile touched her lips as she padded across the room to where I was standing. She pressed her palm against my chest. As sure as I could feel the warmth of it seep into my skin, I knew she could feel my heart's wild thundering.
Did she know that it only ever beat like that for her?
"It's silly, don't you think?"
My brows dipped low. "What is?"
"Arguing over something that's really…" Her smile spread wide; those dimples I loved out in full force. "Irrelevant."
"Irrelevant?" I echoed like a moron.
"Yes." Her hand swept up my chest and over my shoulder to curl around my neck. I had to shove my balled-up fists into my pockets to keep myself from reaching for her. "It's a waste of emotions to be angry over something that does not affect us here in the present."
She pushed onto her toes bringing our mouths closer together. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. Gritting my teeth, I stared down at her.
"I'm pretty sure there isn't a job in the world that can make me feel the way you do."
Was she…? I had to be sure. "Mia—"
She shook her head. "I don't want to fight over shoulda, woulda, couldas."
Neither did I. Before I could tell her that, she managed to knock whatever air was left in my lungs right out again.
"I love you."
My head spun; around and around it went. This time when the need to touch her consumed me, I didn't fight. Pulling my hands free, I immediately reached for her. My arms wrapped around her waist.
I closed the little distance between our faces and against her mouth I whispered, "The feeling is mutual."
She blinked a few times, and I wondered if she remembered saying the exact same thing to me after our lunch with Simon and Bridget.
I got my answer when she laughed and shook her head. "Shut up and kiss me."
How could I say no to that?
Gently I pressed my lips to hers, just a touch, a small taste. But I should have known that wouldn't be enough. Not even close. With a groan I swept my tongue into her mouth, claiming, devouring, consuming.
Mia sighed and pushed her fingers into my hair, kissing me back with the same hunger and need coursing through me. My hands dug into her waist when all I wanted to do was slide them under her shirt so I could feel her delicate skin against my palms.
I was so lost in this woman that I didn't even notice he
r hands had started wandering, not until I felt her flatten her palms against my abs before dragging them lower. With what little strength and sanity I had left, I tore my mouth from hers and curled my fingers around her wrists.
Breathing heavy, I rasped out, "I didn't come here for this."
Tugging out of my grasp, she reached up and cradled my face between her hands. "I know, but I need this—you, us—right now." The muscles in her throat moved with the swallow she worked down. "I don't want to forget. I just want something good and wonderful sprinkled on the bad."
Instead of using my mouth to speak, I lowered it to hers once more. This might've been the last thing on my mind when I came here but I needed it just much as she did. Maybe even more.
Kissing her deep and slow, I walked her to the bed. My mouth only leaving hers to get rid of the pesky layers of clothing between us.
And then once more to declare "I love you, Mia," before pushing into her and showing her exactly how much.
Slow and sensual, her body moved with mine. If I'd been capable of forming actual words instead of groans and grunts, I'd have confessed my love over and over again. As it stood though, no words were needed. Not when the air around us sizzled and cracked with it. Not when I felt it in the way her hands brushed over my skin.
When she finally let go and slipped into ecstasy, she took me right along with her. The ride was so intense, so magnified, I could barely breathe. Chest heaving, I dropped my head to her clammy shoulder while her hands lazily stroked up and down my back.
"Not that I'm complaining," I said once I'd caught my breath. "But I wasn't expecting you to be so," I paused, searching for the right word. "Understanding."
Mia's fingers slid into my hair, her eyes carefully following the movement. "My aunt gave me some perspective, I guess."
I leaned closer, nudging her nose with mine. "I like your aunt."
The laugh that bubbled out of her made my chest expand. "I think she likes you too." Her gaze snapped to mine; all traces of humor vanishing. "But no more secrets."
"No more secrets," I vowed.
After pressing a kiss to the tip of Mia's nose, I rolled off her and tucked her into my side. We stayed like that for a long, long while before her soft voice broke through the silence.
"Sebastian?"
"Yeah, baby?"
"Just so you know, I'll always choose you."
Lifting her chin with my thumb and forefinger, I pressed my lips to hers. I didn't know what the future looked like, but as long as I had this woman by my side, I was certain there wasn't a single thing we couldn't face or overcome.
Epilogue
SEBASTIAN
"Hey! There are kids here!"
Tearing my mouth away from Mia's, I pinned my friend with a hard stare. "It's not like we're doing anything that you haven't done before."
Shrugging his shoulders, Simon simply stated, "Yeah well, Bridget and I are their parents; they're supposed to see us kiss. Besides—" Looking around as if he was scoping the area, he took a few steps closer. "We don't look like we're three seconds away from ripping each other's clothes off when we smack lips."
Mia and I spoke at the same time.
"Oh, my goodness."
"Really, Simon?"
The idiot threw his head back and barked out a laugh. In the past seven months, teasing Mia and I had become one of his favorite pastimes. I knew he was never going to stop just like I was never going to stop kissing my girl whenever I had a chance.
After Cheryl's death things happened fast. Mia had decided to take the position at Newlife and maybe I had no right to be, but man, I was so damn proud of her. She was already making a name for herself in the short period she had been there.
We had also established that when it came to the fiery redhead who owned my heart, I was a needy bastard. After only a week of going between her apartment and mine every night, I figured it made the most sense for us to simply move in together. When she agreed, I wasn't the only one who was happy.
Teddy was over the moon. And naturally the sneaky little shit made sure to cuddle my girlfriend every damn night. After I loved on her body until exhaustion, of course.
"I'm going to help Bridget in the kitchen." Mia's soft voice drew me back to the present.
Chewing on her lip, she peered at me with those big green eyes that were always filled with so much love. I didn't think I'd ever get used to seeing it.
"Okay."
And just because I couldn't resist I leaned down to press another kiss to her lips.
That's also when Simon piped up again, "Hey, watch it."
Pulling out of my embrace with a shake of her head, Mia quickly disappeared into the house. Being the sap I was, my eyes followed her until I couldn't see her anymore, and even then they lingered, hoping she'd appear again.
Simon sidled in beside me and nudged my shoulder with his. "It's nice seeing you… happy."
I leaned back against the deck railing. Angling my head his way, I arched my brow. "I wasn't happy before?"
He shook his head so vehemently, I almost felt offended. "Hell no. You suffered from PPMS."
"PPMS?"
"Permanent PMS."
"You're an idiot," I told him before adding in a more serious tone, "Being with her, I can't help being anything but happy."
"That's love for you, man."
Yes, it most certainly was.
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Standalone Titles:
An Inconvenient Marriage
Novellas:
The Other Brother
Fake it, for real
Willow Creek:
Shattered (Willow Creek #1)
Wrecked (Willow Creek #2)
Ruined (Willow Creek #3)
Montana Dudes:
Hearts Astray
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I swear, I never quite know where to start with these. Would it be okay to just throw out a huge THANK YOU and be done? No? Okay then, let me try to find the right words.
As always, my first and biggest thanks has to go to my better half, Peter. Thank you for listening to me ramble on and on about fictional characters and for giving the time and space to follow this crazy dream of mine. Whenever I have a bad day, I can just look at you and our little person and know I am blessed beyond measure. I love you forever and a day!
Jasmin and Suze – Goodness girls, I seriously don't know where the heck I'd be without you girls. This book wouldn't be what it is without your guidance and input every step of the way. There's not a day that goes by where I don't thank my lucky stars for giving me friends like the both of you. I <3 you!
Jody – where do I even begin? What would my day be without a voice message or a check-in from you? You are one hella special lady and I <3 you to bits!
Brittney – Gah! Thank you for believing in me! If it weren't for you, I never would have had the courage to submit and this dream would have stayed out of my reach forever. There are no words. Love you, babe!
Michelle – Thank you for providing me with those hilarious tales from the E.R. and for always loving my characters just as much as I do. And thank you for lifting my spirits on those days when writing is simply too daunting. I'd be hard-pressed to find a friend truer than you. Love you lots my little werroon.
Heather – Thank you for polishing up my manuscript and dealing with my endless comma problems and who knows what other horrors. You're an angel!
I'd like to give a special thanks to Vi and Penelope and the entire CHC team for taking a chance on me! This has been epic, and I can'
t wait to do it again.
Where would any author be without the wonderful readers and bloggers who support them? You guys are the true heroes of the writing world. I appreciate the heck out of every single one of you!
Egotistical Jerk: A Hero Club Novel Page 15