by Maria Xystra
“You know we’re not a real couple, Eric.”
“So you keep saying. Maybe it was based on false pretenses, but the way you act and …what you guys feel, shows otherwise.”
“What we feel? Eric, please. Don’t exaggerate.” I chuckle even though there’s nothing funny about this.
“Oh, so you’re saying your fight hasn’t affected you at all?”
I start to prove him wrong, but he continues.
“Weren’t you the one just trying to talk to him?”
“You were outside!” I accuse him for eavesdropping. “Besides, that doesn’t prove anything.”
“Oh, no? What about your faces when you came down the stairs?”
“What about them?”
“You were wiping the floor with your chin! Both of you!”
Again, I want to deny his allegation, but I find myself unable to. Having this conversation with him is a brand-new experience for me. It’s weird, yet comfortable and …normal.
“Look, he might have said some things he didn’t mean but-,” he starts but I interrupt him.
“He might not have meant to say those things, but the point is they’re all true.”
“Lex,” he leans closer to me and puts his elbows on his knees. “I can tell that your way of thinking when it comes to your personal life is …well, it’s particular. I don’t know what caused it, but I’m guessing your past experiences may have played a big part in it. Whatever it is that’s making you shy away from a relationship with Cole, I’m sure it’s very important; but did you ever think that, just like you have your secrets keeping you back, Cole might have his own demons to fight? I mean, like I said, I’ve never seen him like that over a woman. He apparently feels…differently about you, compared to any other girl in his life. And there have been many! Trust me. But you’ve found a way to crawl under his skin and you push his buttons, just like he keeps pushing yours.”
I take a moment to digest his words. “You’re smarter than you let people think.”
He smiles. “I get that a lot! …Just be patient with him. I can assure you he’s worthy. Just be sure that if you decide to give this a shot, you accept all of him; flaws and everything.”
The distant sound of the bikes returning to the house draws our attention.
“All I’m saying is, why would he fake a relationship with you to the guys he grew up with? Have you thought about that at all? There was no need to, yet he did. And he chose you for it; to be his partner in crime. Do you think he would just pick someone randomly? He might’ve ‘forced’ you to become a part of his life, but it’s your choice whether to stay in it or not. And from what I see,” he gets up as the others draw closer to the porch, “you might claim you need out of it, but in reality, it’s the last thing you want.”
Unable to reply to his comments, I sigh at the realization that he painted a pretty good picture of…well, everything.
The guys scatter around the house, and Cole walks up to me and drops his phone on the table.
I break the silence as he starts rolling a cigarette.
“So, are we having a barbeque?”
He nods as he licks the small paper from one end to the other.
“Have you guys done this before or should I call for a delivery?” I tease him, but he doesn’t even acknowledge me. “So, this is how it’s gonna be from now on? You’re never having a conversation with me again?” He lights his cigarette and leans on the edge of the table. “And you’re calling me stubborn?”
“I’ll have a conversation with you when you’re willing to talk about last night,” he replies.
My turn to clench my jaws tightly together.
A vibrating sound comes from the table and we both turn towards it. Alex’s name appears on the screen of my phone. I snatch it knowing he saw it and shoot from my seat. “Excuse me, I have to take this,” I throw at him bitterly. He follows me with his eyes as he puts out his cigarette angrily. Good.
I take the path that leads to the lake and answer the phone. The conversation with Alex flows in an automated mode, just to keep up appearances. I start walking along the rotten dock, watching my step, while I cast a look at the house up the hill. I can see Cole and Eric having a vivid conversation on the front steps and Cole’s arm shooting in my direction, evidence they’re talking about me. I pull my eyes away and stroll down the length of the dock.
After Alex hangs up, I dial Lydia and get a brief update on what my sister’s been up to. She asks about the chest I got when we came back from Greece and I instinctively bring my hand to my chest to find my mother’s locket. And it’s not there.
I vigorously look around and hurry to get off the phone to search for it. A few feet away from me, I spot the golden chain, shining in the sunlight.
I make a run for it but the force I put into my step causes the rotten wood beneath my feet to break and I end up falling into a gap up to my waist. Trapped there, I stretch out and try to retrieve the chain but it’s not within my reach. As I fidget and try to push myself up a pair of hands grab my arms and pull me out.
Without even looking at the man beside me, I move to get my locket. I pick up the chain and the oval ornament slips out of it, but I catch it before it falls.
“Are you OK?” Cole asks me as I examine my locket.
I briefly raise my eyes to him and fight hard not answer: now, you care?
“My chain is broken,” I notice, not looking at him.
“Well, no big deal, we can have it fixed in no time.”
I stay silent and he goes on.
“There’s a jewelry shop near the bar, I’ll take it on Monday. Let me see,” he holds his hand open and I cautiously hand him the necklace.
He takes a close look at it. “Charles can definitely fix it,” he reassures me and shoves it at the back pocket of his jeans.
“Be careful with it!” I scold him. “My mum gave it to me, I don’t wanna lose it.” He nods once in understanding.
“Wait- Charles?” I ask him. “Charles the jeweler, Hans keeps talking about?”
“Yeah,” he chuckles, “I think he has a thing for your assistant.”
“You think so? Hans will be thrilled!” I smile as he meets my eyes. I turn and consciously take a few steps away from him. I sit at the edge of the dock and murmur, “Careful now, we might just have a conversation…”
I hear him sigh deeply and he comes closer, taking a seat beside me.
“So, what did Alex want?” he asks me, straight to the point.
“You want to talk about Alex?” I turn and ask him in disbelief.
“You know what I really want to talk about…” he reminds me.
“Alex just wanted to apologize for not coming to the gala tomorrow,” I deflect immediately. He chuckles, and I revel at the sight of his dimples. How is it possible that I missed this – missed him – in the short period since our bickering?
“I don’t get why you keep talking to him,” he says and shakes his head. If he knew Alex was involved in whatever Digit’s plan is, he would have flipped out by now. But I’ll just keep that to myself for a while longer to see if I can get to the bottom of it.
“’Cause I know it pisses you off,” I tease him.
“That’s not the only thing you do that pisses me off.”
“Are you calling me a…a…pisser-off?”
He laughs, and I do the same.
“Well,” I continue and focus on the horizon, “that’s probably true as well,” I subtly refer to his previous name-calling.
He lies back and puts his arms behind his head.
“Lex…I was…I was out of line earlier.”
I stop him before he continues.
“No, you were right. I am stubborn, and inconsiderate. And in a way, I’m glad you saw that; because I’m not willing to change. And this, whatever this is, would never be anything more.”
“You keep doing this, keep making decisions on your own,” he accuses me.
“Well, it’s my life, of
course I’ll make my own decisions.”
“What about me? Aren’t you even in the least curious of how I feel about this?” his words catch me off guard. Again.
I lie back next to him and gaze at the sky.
“I do care. And that’s why I can’t let this get any further. We function well as friends, let’s just keep it that way.”
“If you had said we can’t be anything more because we work together, I might have bought it. But that,” he shakes his head, “just sounds like a lame excuse to me.”
I exhale loudly and cover my face with my arms. “…I just…can’t take the next step into something else…”
I sense him looking at me.
“Can’t take the next step…with me or with anyone?” he wonders. “Don’t tell me you have feelings for Alex,” his words sound like he’s seeking confirmation for his assumption.
“Why not?” I turn to face him.
“We almost had sex last night! You can’t tell me you have feelings for him while you were about to sleep with me!”
I cover my face again. “I don’t.”
“Look,” he sits up and lifts my arm so that I can see him, “I know that I’m pushing you…I just need to know…I gotta know…there’s obviously something holding you back and I wish you could tell me, so we can face it and get over it. Together.”
I draw my arm free of his hold and sit up, staring at the lake. “You make it sound easy, but it’s so far from it. I wish I could tell you, Cole, but…I’m not ready for this. And I’m not gonna lie to you, I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. That’s why I’m saying let’s just leave it at that.”
“Yeah, as if that’s easy!” he gets up and offers me his hand.
I take it and he pulls me up, too.
Silent, we both walk up the path, towards the house.
Right before we join the others in the garden, he turns to me.
“So, what now? Do we pretend we’re friends?”
“We don’t need to pretend that we’re friends,” I shove him playfully and smile.
“Yeah, but for the others? Are we back together as a couple?” he asks.
Eric’s words come to mind.
“Why do you need to fool your friends that you’re in a relationship with me?” I genuinely wonder.
“I don’t,” he simply says and leaves it at that, waiting for my answer. “What’s it gonna be?”
Ty’s shrieking voice comes to our ears. “They made up! They’re back together! You owe me money!” he points at Wheels.
They all shove their hands in their pockets simultaneously and get bills out. Did they actually bet on whether we’d make up? Of course they did. Vincent is the only one that doesn’t dig into his pockets. And then everyone walks and hands him the money. Really?
“I think you just got your answer,” I tell him and getting ready for his upcoming kiss, I’m left wanting, as he walks to join the others, taking the first few steps backwards while looking at me with the hint of a smile.
Vincent is the captain of one team and Cole of the other, as we all get ready to play football.
“Lexy,” Vincent picks me first, very much to everyone’s surprise. I jog to him with a grin. “Sorry man, gotta keep the game interesting! Feelings off the field.”
“No problem. Eric,” Cole teams up with his boyfriend.
“Hustler,” Vincent invites Chris.
“Menace.” Dennis walks to stand beside Eric.
“Joker.” At this everyone groans and mumbles something about already knowing who the winners will be. I connect the dots and remember that Zach always gets lucky in whatever he does.
“Toy,” Cole gestures for him to join them and he gives me a sad face when he walks past me.
“Wheels,” that’s Will for our team.
“Gear.” And that’s Ronald for Cole’s, leaving Ethan and Ty the only ones left to be picked.
“Shadow,” Vincent calls Ethan.
“Oh, Jeez! Thanks, dad!” Ty bites back as he walks towards Cole.
“Dad?” I turn from Vincent to Ty and back, several times.
“As I said son, keeping the game interesting,” Vincent replies.
I turn to Sam who lounges on the veranda watching us. She nods through a smile.
“You’re Ty’s father??? Am I the only one who had no idea about this??”
They all nod and Cole goes, “Oh, yeah, did I forget to mention that?”
“No, I’m just acting surprised! I already kne- Of course you haven’t mentioned it!” Cole keeps on just staring at me for a few moments. “OK, let’s play!” I motion for him to pass me the ball, he dismisses me with a ‘seriously?’ look, and I just take my position behind Wheels.
After numerous bumps and bruises, the clash of the titans comes to an end, declaring my team winners of the game. Ethan was pretty much the best player of our team as he kept slipping out of the grip of anyone attempting to tackle him. Joker on the other hand, was just so damn lucky! He threw the ball and it miraculously landed past the goal line. Every single time!
“I never thought you had it in you,” Cole comments on my performance as we walk inside the house.
“What, you thought I’d just stand there and be intimidated by your...your…by the fact that you’re all tall and muscular?”
“Well, yeah. You keep surprising me,” he says with a smile as we climb up the stairs.
“Yeah, it seems that way,” I smile back.
“Now, about that tackling…”
I flinch, not sure how to respond.
“Did I…hurt you?” I ask with uncertainty.
He laughs at my question. “You’re too ferocious for your size.”
“You never saw it coming, did you?”
“It’s just weird, how could you bring down someone like me?”
“Well, maybe you just wanted to go down!”
“Maybe I did,” he asserts and takes off his t-shirt.
Aaaaand that’s my cue. Why exactly did I follow him upstairs? All that muscle and sweat knock me off track.
“I’m- I’m just gonna… head downstairs,” I mumble stupidly, “and you can call me once you’re done.”
“Why? Can’t wait to see me naked again?” he teases.
I shake my head and leave him alone. I should be used to his innuendos by now, yet every time he says something like that I choke.
The rest of the night went by quite smoothly. There was a bonfire, a barbeque and lots of laughter. And Eric’s singing, of course. Cole dropped dead on one of the couches while most of the guys left on their bikes in the middle of the night. Sam and I cleaned up in a haze and went to bed.
CHAPTER 29
Today is Sunday. The day of the gala.
The day everyone at AMC longs for each year. Luke completely freaks out for a whole week right before it, Simon always wants to know the color of my dress to match his tuxedo, and Lilly buys a new pair of shoes especially for that night.
Existing and potential clients of the firm are invited to the annual event to meet with the personnel and expand their business web. Performances are in order every time and this year is no different.
And, where the hell is my shoe? I can’t believe this is happening. Every time I’m in a hurry, goddamn it! Like a universal plot to hide all the things I need. Every. Single. Time. Thankfully, I’m driving alone since Cole is not taking me up on our bet. He mentioned something about having some ‘business to take care of’ and said he’ll meet us there.
Arriving at the venue, I park and clumsily get out of my miniscule Fiat 500. Sam’s already here and we both head straight backstage to help the performers get ready.
Hans makes his entrance greeting everyone.
“Hans is in da house! Nice dress, nice shoes, nice hair, girl!” he ticks off all the girls one by one reaching me last. “A-wow!” he blinks his eyes in admiration and motions for me to take a spin. I willingly obey and offer him a full view of my outfit – black, lacey maxi dress, clinging to
my body from chest to knees, deep cleavage, killer heels. I went for a smokey-eye make-up and a loose chignon. “You, honey, should let the evil queen out more often!”
I grin at his compliment and play along.
“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” I drag my voice theatrically and lift my chin high.
“Why, you, of course my queen,” he bows in front of me and I shove him playfully. “Now, you’ve just outdone me! Who’s ever gonna look at me once you go out there?”
“Oh, come on,” I reach for his purple bow that accompanies his black tux, readjusting it even though it’s perfectly in place. “Speaking of which,” I lower my voice and purely curious about what I’m about to say he leans closer, “I know who would gladly ignore me to go out with you…”
“Spill,” he commands, and I chuckle.
“You might need to pick my locket up from a certain jeweler tomorrow…”
“Wh-what does that have to do with- Charles? Are you talking about Charles? Oh-my-dear-God! How do you know? Did you talk to him? What did he say?” he blabs on and I cut him.
“All I know is, he might, possibly, probably, be interested in you.”
Hans is speechless – that’s a first. He brings his hands to his mouth in an unbelievable motion and shakes them vigorously. “I-I-oh my God! Gotta keep it cool! Oh my- keep it cool, keep-it-cool!” he commands himself and takes a deep breath. “Gotta get a drink!” he heads out the room and comes back instantly. “Luke’s looking for you, by the way!” he informs me and disappears.
“Eric is here,” Sam replies to her text while finishing the make-up on one of the dancers.
“Oh,” I simply comment, very much aware of what that entails.
She catches my eye in the mirror and no words are needed for the message to pass between us.
We go through her event-planning checklist and when everything seems to be in order, she kicks me out of backstage.
“Go, mingle!” she insists when I hesitate to exit.
I slowly get my purse and flute glass and head out.
Minding my step, I spot Luke and walk towards him. Too late, I realize that the tall man with his back at me is none other than Cole. I halt in place and someone on my right nearly spills my drink.