A Reason To Be: Book 1

by Maria Xystra

  “Lexy!” Simon’s face appears right in front of me and I draw back in reaction.

  “Hey, Simon,” I greet him.

  “You look,” he pauses briefly, “alone. You didn’t come here with Mr. Theron? Did you two break up?” he asks me overly excited by this assumption.

  “Shh! Can you keep it down?” I avoid his question. “It’s supposed to be a secret, remember?”

  “Oh, right! Right. So, are you two still together?”

  I cast a glance in Cole’s direction, as Luke points at where we are standing and he starts to turn. He sees me and makes a double take – much to my pleasure. I can’t help but grin with satisfaction.

  “Yes, apparently we are. And I would very much appreciate it if you just were a tad more subtle about it. Now, excuse me, I have to go talk to Luke.”

  “To Luke or…?” he comments pointedly.

  I turn abruptly to face him and narrow my eyes at him, silently challenging him to continue.

  “I don’t know what you see in him, really,” he goes on. “He just appears out of the blue and I no longer exist for you!”

  “Listen to me carefully, Simon, because I’m only gonna say this once since apparently you can’t take a hint: Cole and I are together, and this won’t change anytime soon. And even if we weren’t, you should have already figured out that I’m not interested in you.”

  Simon is taken aback by my confrontation and is about to start defending himself, but I give him no opportunity to. “I know you’ve never got out of line and it was OK at first. We’re co-workers and nothing more. Now, what happens in my private life is entirely my business, so it would be nice if you just accepted the facts and moved on.”

  “Fine! I’m sorry, Lexy,” he moves to put a hand on my arm but takes in my strict expression and halts. “I just wish you could see that he’s not a good match for you.”

  “I’ll be the judge of that,” I shoot back and walk away.

  Reaching the table Luke and Cole are standing around I drop my purse and finish my drink in a gulp.

  Luke raises his hands in mock surrender and backs off with a comment about a partner of the firm needing him. I turn to the tall man on my left and it’s my turn to do a double take. His perfectly tailored tuxedo hugs his muscular figure flawlessly, with his hair falling well-trimmed right at the base of his neck. While I take my time admiring him, he lets his eyes travel down my body and back up to my face.

  He looks away and picks up his drink, bringing it slowly to his lips. “You’re not gonna make it easy for me, are you?” he comments in a low, sexy voice and takes a sip from his whiskey.

  “Make what easy?”

  He keeps his elbows on the table lowering his glass.

  “Do you honestly expect me to just be friends with you looking like that?” he nods once towards me. My words fail me. “Especially when I know very damn well what’s underneath that dress of yours?”

  “Well, it’s not any easier for me either when you’re saying stuff like that,” I avoid eye contact as I search for a waiter to get a new drink.

  “I’m just being honest. Every man in the room is finding it hard to take their eyes off you. And I’m just glad to be the one you’re talking to.”

  I hide a smile by biting my lower lip. “And I’m sure every woman is wishing for my dress to split open being the one you’re talking to.”

  “Oh, I think we’re all wishing for that,” he jokes, and I shove him playfully. He giggles and it’s contagious. “Besides, no other woman captures my attention the way you do. And I’m not just talking about tonight.”

  I play with the rim of my empty glass. “Even if you know I’m not the one you’re taking home tonight?”

  He gestures for a refill to one of the waiters and I take a glass of champagne from the girl passing us by.

  “Yes, even then.”

  A moment of awkward silence follows.

  “So, what’s the deal with him?” he nods towards Simon who’s watching us from the bar.

  “Simon thinks you’ve ruined his chances with me. And he says you’re not a good match for me.”

  “Why would you care what he thinks? We’re not playing Simon Says.”

  “Right, we’re in a whole different game, aren’t we?” I mildly provoke him.

  “We don’t have to be, Tipsy,” he whispers close to me when all lights go out and Luke takes the stage.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us for our annual gala. Just like every year, we would like to give you an idea of how much we appreciate your support and honor our partners with an exquisite show. So, mingle, jingle, drink up and enjoy yourselves!” Cheers and applause signal the beginning of the show.

  A pair of acrobat dancers rolls down from the ceiling and dance to the rhythm of the music using red sheets. Four more, join in midair and they all perform in harmony.

  I spend some time going around the venue and talking with people from work. Eric’s mockery and mimicking of every person I talk to cut my conversations short as I constantly need to get away from them and laugh. Sam keeps scolding him, but he won’t give up.

  Finding my way back to Cole, I settle silently on a stool as he leans over the table, about to say something. I can see him changing his mind in an instant.

  “Having fun?” he asks me eventually.

  “I just wanna go home and curl up in bed!” I catch myself talking louder than I intended.

  “That bad, huh?”

  “No, no…it’s just that…I’m tired… and you know what always comes after Sunday.”

  “Monday,” we moan together and chuckle.

  “What about you?” I ask him as I lean to readjust my shoes in a futile effort to make them a bit more comfortable.

  He takes his drink and walks around the table to stand by my side. He turns to face me – head and body – and places his elbow on the table. Making sure he has all my attention, he gets closer bringing us in a rather intimate position.

  “I…” he starts hesitantly, “I really wanna kiss you right now.”

  Very slowly and very carefully, I place a hand on his chest and push him back. “This is not what we agreed on. And I thought you understood the deal we made.”

  “Well, maybe I misunderstood. What happened the other day… I thought you wanted it as much as I did.”

  “Cole…please don’t…”

  “All I wanna know Lex is what the hell happened that changed your mind!”

  “Just drop it, OK? I changed my mind and that’s all that matters. Don’t bring it up again,” I bite back frustrated and head for the bar.

  The second time the performers took the stage found me at the bar with Sam. I don’t really remember ordering a refill, but I know my glass was never empty.

  “These guys are amazing!” Sam kept saying while the fire show was on. And when the belly dancers joined them with a gothic vibe in a rock tune, no one could take their eyes off them. Their moves were perfectly executed, seductive and mesmerizing. The outcome surpasses everyone’s expectations.

  “I’m out,” I announce as I take my purse from the table.

  The three of them – Eric, Sam and Cole – watch my every move as if I’m about to knock the table down.

  “Are you sure you can drive?” Sam asks me hesitantly.

  “Yeah, sure, yeah, I guess, yeah, why, sure. What?” I mumble.

  “Can you even find your keys?” she carries on.

  “Of c-, of c-, of course!” I dig in my purse and retrieve them. “Seeeee?” I show them to her as she violently snatches them from my hand. “Hey!” I protest as she passes them to Cole. “Wha-why? My reflexes are completely and perfectly functional!” Cole’s fingers find my forehead and after the slightest poke I lean back awkwardly. He takes my arm and steadies me.

  “Yeah, I don’t think so. Let’s go,” he commands and says his goodbyes.

  “So, I guess you are taking me home tonight after all,” I state, slightly more enthusiastically than I
intended.

  I can’t seem to stop giggling while he drives my car. It’s like a giant squeezed in a go-cart.

  “Where do you park it?” he asks as we reach my block. “In your room? Should I put it in my pocket, so it won’t get stolen?”

  “Stop making fun of my car! Pearl has feelings!!!”

  “Pearl?”

  “Yeah! Pearl, why?”

  He shakes his head as he locks it.

  We make our way up in the elevator and I try to maintain my balance.

  “Are you OK?” he gives me a sideways glance.

  “Yeah, stop asking me that!”

  “It’s the first time I’ve asked you!”

  “Oh.”

  After about five minutes outside the door, I’m sure someone changed the lock to my apartment. I turn to find Cole leaning on the wall with crossed arms.

  “I could use a little help here.”

  “Sure, but this will be breaking and entering since this is not your apartment.”

  “Wh-?!?”

  He takes my keys and drags me across the hall by the wrist. We finally enter my apartment and he lets go.

  I follow the standard procedure: take off my shoes and release my hair. I fidget with the zip of my dress when I suddenly remember that Cole is still here. I let my arms fall clumsily by my sides.

  “Um..thanks for getting me home…don’t let me keep you from any secret excursion you have planned for tonight…”

  “Wow,” he draws back in surprise, “you’re even meaner when you’re drunk!”

  “Well, I’m sure you can find your way out,” I head towards the bedroom.

  “Are you sure you can find your way to your room?” he teases as I bump my shoulder on the doorframe. He escorts me inside and waits by the door.

  “Are you leaving or staying for the show?” I scold him.

  “I think I’ll linger a bit longer.”

  I turn with my hands on my hips ready to reprimand him, but I stutter. He leans against the doorframe, with his hands shoved in his pockets, his white shirt unbuttoned at the top and his bow tie released around his collar. All my thoughts are gone and all I know now is that…I want him. Bad.

  I walk slowly towards him with only one purpose in mind: kiss him.

  As I reach for his face he grabs my wrists and stops me.

  “No, Lex.” He keeps me away, but still close. “You don’t want this. Not like this. I sure as hell would love to, but you made it pretty clear that you don’t; even if I don’t know why. And I don’t want this to be something you’ll regret in the morning.”

  Speechless, I search his eyes and try to hold back my need for him.

  He brushes away some strands from my face and leans to plant a kiss on my cheek.

  “Have a good night and I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says and walks away.

  I hear the door shut as I slump on the bed.

  You have no idea how much I want this, Cole. And I already regret it, just as much.

  CHAPTER 30

  Monday landed with a thud.

  Going back to the office after that eventful weekend wasn’t exactly a pleasant thing to do.

  Putting the events in order helped clear the situation – or complicate it even more. Digit is stealing money from Cole; I can’t confront him, ’cause apparently Cole has his own agenda on how to deal with it. Alex seems to be working with Digit on whatever scheme they have prepared against…Cole; or his gang? I’m not quite sure, yet, and keeping it to myself has begun to weigh down on me. And was I part of the plan, as well? Did Alex approach me on purpose, knowing my connection to Cole? But it was too fresh at that time. And since Cole was the one who gave him my number, I’d say there was no suspicion on his behalf about Alex. But then he completely changed his mind all of a sudden and kept asking me to stay away from him. What’s with that?

  And then came the weekend. With the gang mysteriously involved in a breaking and entering into what seemed to be an abandoned mansion, me almost going all the way with Cole resulting in fleeing the house, and of course our grand fight. Recovering from this, I fucked it up once more after the gala. The whole ‘I want him, but I can’t have him, so I have to stay away from him’ thing is getting really exhausting.

  *****

  Tuesday was as slow moving as the day before.

  I spent all night contemplating whether I should tell Cole about Alex. It was the last thing I pondered on before I went to bed, and the first thing that popped into my mind when I opened my eyes in the morning. So many questions remain unanswered and by confiding in Cole, I doubt that the outcome will provide any information. It’s more likely that he will shut me out with an ‘I told you so’ and a ‘stay away from him’.

  Hans kept doing his best to lift my spirits but with no significant result. When I asked him to pick up my locket chain from Charles, he fell into an excitement trance that was contagious, but, unfortunately, not very lasting.

  Working on the Auracle project did nothing to clear my thoughts, either. I became restless thinking about Alex’s connection to this conspiracy. So, by lunch, the decision was made: I’m heading to Cole’s bar tonight to tell him all about it.

  In order for me to catch up on the work piled up due to the 4th of July weekend, a few extra hours were deemed necessary.

  So, driving to ‘Nirvana’ at around ten in the evening, I feel like a zombie, operating on autopilot.

  The bar is half-full and Neil – the other bartender – informs me that Eric had the morning shift. I start to knock on Cole’s door, but it forcefully draws open and I nearly bump into Digit as he comes out. I turn to Cole in pure wonder and he gestures for me to wait outside while he finishes his call.

  I lean against the wall and follow Digit with my eyes as he settles on a bar stool. He tries to be discreet in casting glances in my direction while I make no effort to hide the fact that I’m not taking my eyes off him.

  I can tell I’m getting itchier by the moment. Having Digit in front of me and knowing he’s plotting over something nasty, I can’t control the temper rising beneath my skin. Agitated and on edge, I consciously make the decision to interrupt Cole’s phone call. What I have to say can’t wait any longer, so I burst into his office ready to unleash my fury.

  His empty office halts my words and closing the door behind me I call for him. If he had gone back into the bar I would have seen him. I glance at his desk to find his phone on a pile of papers.

  “Cole?” I wonder for a minute if I’ll catch him having sex with some model in the back alley.

  “Cole?” I repeat, overcoming my initial shock of not finding him there. My tone holds a threatening ring and as I’m ready to turn and stomp out, I notice the back door is slightly open.

  I march purposefully towards it and push it open. Footsteps draw my attention towards the end of the alley and I head there. As I get closer, I catch a whiff of a familiar scent and the taste of metal settles in my throat. Blood.

  Two tall figures hurry to leave the alley, meeting a third one at the end of it. I start to move past the wheelie bins and closer to them but the first two disappear around the corner. The third man holds his position for a fracture longer and as he slowly turns away I get a brief glimpse of his features, but can’t make out his face in the darkness. He slightly raises a hand acknowledging my presence by saluting me casually and shoving it back in his pocket, he gracefully walks away.

  I start to follow them but two steps into my run I come to a standstill.

  “Cole!” He was out of my sight until now.

  I find him right past the bins, leaning against the wall, with an expression of pain drawn across his features. I hurriedly scan his body for any signs of an attack and focus on his hands over his left ribcage. I reach for him and he places a hand on my wrist, covering me with blood.

  “Cole! You’re bleeding! Did they-?” I ask him about the men who just left the alley.

  “It’s OK…I- I’m fine,” his words come out in anguish.
/>
  I take a closer look and realize his t-shirt is soaked in blood. Lots and lots of it. I flinch at the sight and try to block it out. We know there’s a reason I didn’t become a nurse.

  “We- We need to get you to a hospital!”

  “No, I’m- just-,” he grabs both my wrists and slides against the wall, falling on the ground. I panic.

  “What do I do? Cole?” I kneel next to him and fight hard not to collapse, or even worse, turn then and there, right in front of him.

  A nervous breakdown is in cue and I try to postpone it for as long as I can. Controlling it has become somewhat easier since that first time I saw Sam bleeding. But we’re talking about that amount of blood, times fifty!

  “Is it…is it deep?” he asks me as he leans his head back and closes his eyes. I lift his t-shirt to reveal three very deep cuts in his flesh, most likely caused by a knife stabbed into him, repeatedly.

  “I don’t know! It’s- there’s too much blood!” And it won’t stop oozing from the wounds! I suppress the urge to taste it, but feeling my gums burning with my fangs pushing to come out, my face distorts in agony. I think of my mother, in an attempt to contain myself.

  “Call Eric,” he manages to say through clenched teeth. I quickly shuffle through my purse to retrieve my phone.

  “He won’t pick up,” I throw it in my back pocket and try to get Cole up.

  “Keep calling,” he says as I help him up and walk him to his car.

  “Where are your keys?”

  He nods towards his office. I help him lean against the Beast and take a second to decide whether I should leave him alone or not. What if they come back to attack him again? To… finish what they’ve started?

  “Go, I’ll be fine,” he orders me and in ten seconds I’m back with his keys and phone.

  “Good girl,” he smiles as I hand him the device.