At this point in my life, I’m practical. When I go out with a woman, I tell her right away, This is just sex. I’m not looking for anything permanent.
The whole concept of forever works for a lot of people—until they break up or divorce.
Forever is not for me.
It has nothing to do with some Little Prince syndrome—that’s the technical term for the condition. The Peter Pan syndrome sounds too cliché—and let’s be clear, it’s not a mental illness.
Why did I adopt this philosophy?
It’s a combination between my parents’ messy divorce, the fact that I’ve never been in love, and that once upon a time I was named the future of technology. People who I never met flocked around me. It wasn’t easy to tell apart friends from a foe. My circle of trust became microscopic.
My twin brother insists I’m like this because when we were born I got the brains and he got the heart.
Maybe he’s right. It’s fucking unbelievable that I’ve never been in love.
Never.
Is there such a thing as falling in love and I’m immune to it? I’m the living proof that it is real.
The other day, I was at the dentist office, and the receptionist was listening to some ‘dating expert’ on talk radio—or maybe it was her computer. It really doesn’t matter. The point is that this woman was discussing the subject of falling in love with her partner—again. I was pretty confused at first, until she explained further about a so-called love cycle.
According to this ‘authority in love,’ a couple has to keep the flame burning for each other. Tend to their relationship the same way farmers do with their lands. Each season is different. They plant, they water, they harvest, they clean, so next season, they can start all over again. When a caller asked her what falling in love meant, her answer made me laugh.
According to this ‘expert,’ falling is different from being in love, and it all starts with a feeling that makes someone want to be next to the person. Falling is embracing the out of control, overwhelming emotion that accelerates one’s heart into the speed of light. One knows that they’re in love when they make a special place in their life for that other person.
Living in love (yes, that’s how she phrased it) is different, though. It means that someone stays willingly with their significant other despite their flaws and even when they drive you crazy.
If you are in love, you want to stick around the other person, even when you don’t like them at times.
I wanted to tell her, Lady, your advice is shit. If someone doesn’t like the person they are with, they should move on.
Why would I choose to be around someone who I can’t stand when it’s clear we are not compatible?
It’s obvious that woman is from another planet or hasn’t met me. My guess is that she got some fancy degree in shit-talk that allows her to spew crap. She only knows a few people. There are billions of humans in this world, and we don’t all fall in love or even need it to live.
According to that woman—and maybe all the women I’ve been with—I’m shallow because I can’t see past appearances. It’s not about accepting flaws or loving what’s inside. This world is complicated enough to also be forced to stay around people who don’t make one’s life better.
I just do what I love the most. Sex.
Sex is the only reason why I bother finding fuck buddies. Let me tell you, I deliver a fan-fucking-tastic time. But that’s exactly where my problem begins. I was taught to be thoughtful and caring about what’s entrusted to me.
Women trust me with their bodies, and I do my best to treat them like queens. But it never fails. They always want more. It doesn’t matter that we both agreed it’d be casual. They demand more from me. Then, they urge me to reciprocate their feelings. I’m physically and emotionally incapable of following through with what they want from me.
In my opinion, love exists. It’s just not for everyone.
Most of all, it’s not for me.
Let’s be logical. Not everything in this world is for everyone. We are all different. I am the kind of guy who doesn’t fall in love. I’m not heartless. Just because I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have one. I’m wired differently.
Some men struggle to describe what love is. Me? I can’t even feel it. Which brings me to this exact moment when the woman I’ve been fucking for the last couple of months makes the unilateral decision to modify our agreement—and if I don’t comply, it’s over.
“I thought we had a connection,” she repeats. “I’ve never felt this way before.”
Can we pause for a second?
What Martha infers is that I’m the first lover she’s had who isn’t a selfish bastard. I’ll let you in on a little secret. Sex is more enjoyable when you put your partner’s pleasure before your own. Personally, it turns me on to know that the woman I am with is high on endorphins because of me.
Now, fast forward to this moment. I can tell her one of two things: “You should be careful about who you invite into your bed,” or “I was upfront with you when I said this won’t be more than sex.”
There’s no use in discussing this any further. It’s over.
I put on my pants and walk toward the staircase. I slip on my sneakers before climbing down the stairs.
Why do people complicate everything?
Life is simple.
Relationships should be easy, not some crazy affair where you have to play a part. Perhaps that’s why I don’t fit well with anyone. Sometimes, not even my family.
One thing I can guarantee, I’ll never apologize for being myself.
Women expect romance. Most of them define romance as all those clichés that happen in chick flicks. Guy running through an airport to ask for forgiveness because he is a dumbass. Or through the streets of Manhattan. Let’s say I follow the entire narrative of romance and make a woman fall in love with me. I mean really fall in love, not just the ‘high on endorphins, please give me another dose because I can’t live without an orgasm’ kind of feeling.
What happens next?
I can’t guarantee that I’ll be in love too. And If I do fall, what am I supposed to do with it?
Hypothetically speaking, I let my guard down, give away my secrets and my entire life to one person. Nothing guarantees that the person I trusted will not come back to destroy me.
Again, I’m not speaking from experience. Unless my mother counts. She left my father when I was five. However, I’ve witnessed many divorces and broken relationships to know what I’m talking about. I’ve watched people falling apart, helplessly, as their worlds come crashing down.
In all fairness, I accept that not every relationship ends up in catastrophe. There’s my father’s second marriage. He found a good woman who makes him happy—more like they make each other happy. My stepbrother and his wife are yet another couple who seem to be content. I don’t like them, but they’ve been together for ten years.
That’s when the theory about soulmates comes into play. Because these couples make it through everything.
Maybe the idea that there’s one person who imprinted with another before the beginning of time is real. Or, perhaps, it’s some false ideal we want to grab onto so Hallmark can sell more Valentine’s cards during the month of February.
Either way, I’m not sure how this heart-soulmate-love business works, or if it’s even real. Honestly, I don’t care to find out. The closest I ever got to that moment when a person sees someone and feels like they were punched in the stomach and can barely recover was when I was still living at home.
There was this girl I used to see around the neighborhood during the holidays. Perfect smile, always wearing colorful clothing. She had a whole happy thing going on for her. Every year, I’d see her around and get that sweaty-hands-heart-pounding feeling. I never knew where she lived. Getting closer would’ve been kind of creepy because she was young or maybe too short.
Who knows?
I never met her,
and yet, sometimes, I still think about her smile.
It was contagious.
When you saw her, you just smiled with her.
No one has ever made me smile the way she did. Maybe that’s why I can’t open myself to anyone or settle for anything but the best. That feeling that closed up my throat when I saw her… I’ve never felt it again.
Dear Reader,
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Thank you so much for picking up a copy of Didn’t Expect You. I am so grateful to have you as my reader and if you are new to me, I hope this is the beginning of our journey together.
This book wasn’t part of my 2020 schedule but the Brassard sisters (Persy and Nyx) were a great way to push away the stress that this year has created. I needed to have fun, think light romantic, and possible.
Writing this Single-Mom-to-be meets wicked playboy was a lot of fun for me. It has a mix of humor, angst, and a few real-life details. A couple of friend’s had babies with minimum pain (I envy them a little). While a really good friend of mine had an experience similar to Nyx’s. She has a beautiful ten-year-old daughter, and a wonderful family now.
When I sit down to pen these stories, I’m inspired by the strong women I’ve met who overcome the obstacles that are thrown their way. I’m truly thankful to have met them and that they let me stich a few pieces of their life into the tapestry of my stories.
If you haven’t read Persy and Ford’s story and would like to follow their journey, you can grab a copy of Wrong Text, Right Love.
Now, for those who have asked about Eros, his story releases early next year.
Love Like Her is a romantic comedy I’ve been meaning to write for a couple of years but hadn’t found the right characters until now.
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One last thing, if you loved Didn’t Expect You as much as I do, please leave a review on your favorite retailer and on Bookbub. Also, please spread the word about it among your friends.
Sending all my love,
Claudia xoxo
Acknowledgments
There are two things that are super hard for me when I write a book, making sure that I don’t forget anyone because it’s always important to be grateful to our people. The second thing is blurbs. Which brings me to thank you to Megan Linski for always helping me with titles and blurbs.
She always helps me find just the right one for my books. Also, Heather Roberts who polishes them once they are ready.
Hang Le, my longtime cover artist. She’s amazing at making my books look beautiful.
Darlene, Karen, Melissa, Patricia, and Yolanda for always responding to my incoherent questions. Their feedback is important just like their friendship.
To all my readers, I’m so grateful for you. Thank you so much for your love, your kindness, and your support. It’s because of you that I can continue doing what I do.
It’s never enough to say thank you to my BFFL Kristi. She’s been walking with me through this journey for almost five years and I’m thankful for always stepping onto any role. She’s my person.
My amazing ARC team, girls you are an essential part of my team. Thank you for always being there for me. My Bookstagrammers, you rock!
To my Chicas! Thank you so much for your continuous support and for being there for me every day!
Thank you to all the bloggers who help me spread the word about my books. Thank you never cuts it just right, but I hope it’s enough.
Thank you to my husband, my children and my family for supporting me in this journey.
Most importantly, thank you to God because he’s the one who allows me to be here and who gifts me the time, the creativity, and the tools to do what I love. Thank you for all the blessings in my life.
Thank you for everything.
All my love,
Claudia xoxo
About the Author
Claudia is an award-winning, USA Today bestselling author. She writes alluring, thrilling stories about complicated women and the men who take their breath away. She lives in Denver, Colorado with her husband and her youngest two children. She has a sweet Bichon, Macey, who thinks she’s the ruler of the house. She’s only partially right. When Claudia is not writing, you can find her reading, knitting, or just hanging out with her family. At night, she likes to binge-watch shows with her equally geeky husband.
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To find more about Claudia:
website
Sign up for her newsletter: News Letter
Also By Claudia Burgoa
The Baker’s Creek Billionaire Brothers Series
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Loved You Once
A Moment Like You
Defying Our Forever
October 2020
Call You Mine
February 2021
As We Are
June 2021
Yours to Keep
September 2021
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Against All Odds Series
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Wrong Text, Right Love
Didn’t Expect You
Love Like Her
March 2021
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Second Chance Sinners
Pieces of Us
April 2021
Somehow Finding Us
May 2021
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Standalones
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Us After You
Almost Perfect
Once Upon a Holiday
Someday, Somehow
Chasing Fireflies
Something Like Hate
Then He Happened
Maybe Later
My One Despair
My One Regret
Found
Fervent
Flawed
Until I Fall
Finding My Reason
Christmas in Kentbury
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Chaotic Love Duet
Begin with You
Back to You
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Unexpected Series
Uncharted
Uncut
Undefeated
Unlike Any Other
Decker the Halls
Didn't Expect You (Against All Odds Book 2) Page 27