by Jordan Marie
“I figured you’d be living with your mom or sister. You always hated cities.”
“Mom was driving me crazy and I’d rather have my fingernails pulled out one by one than live with Dawn and Glenna. Are you done with your twenty questions yet?”
“Glenna?”
“I guess that means we’re not done with the questions,” she mutters under her breath. “Glenna is Dawn’s girlfriend.”
Now that makes me laugh. Fuck, I laugh so hard that I almost choke as I toke on my cigarette.
“Dawn’s a carpet muncher?”
“Liam—”
“I always knew that bitch hated dick.”
“Well, she always hated you, at least. I can finally understand that. Are you going to leave, or do I need to get my bouncer out here to make you leave?” she asks, her features set and hard.
“You don’t hate me, Ice. You might wish you did, but you don’t,” I respond, wanting to hear her admit it—maybe because I’m afraid I’m wrong.
“Leave me alone, Liam. You’ve managed to do that for way over a year now. For both our sakes, keep doing it.”
I step away from her car. Her eyes dart to my face, but she quickly opens her door and gets inside. She slams it without saying goodbye. I didn’t really expect it. Ellie is good at leaving me without a goodbye. I watch as she backs out and then heads out of the parking lot. She’s right. I should let her go. Instead, I climb on my piece of shit bike and follow her.
Because I’m an idiot.
Ellie
The club has barely opened and Liam was one of the first customers to walk in. He hasn’t ordered anything, so I don’t guess I can technically call him a customer. Instead, he walked in and stopped directly behind me. I’m standing at the bar, talking to my bartender, but I feel him there and I hate that my heart rate is intensifying and my palms are sweaty. I hate that being around Liam makes me feel alive again, because since leaving Tennessee, I’ve been existing just fine without the emotions he brings out in me.
“If you’re looking for Hayley, she’s been banned from the bar,” I tell Liam when it’s clear he’s not going to move.
“Who?” he asks, sounding genuinely confused.
“The trick you paid to crawl under your table last night?” I remind him dryly, finally turning to look at him.
“I wasn’t looking for her. I wanted to talk to you.”
“Was it to tell me you were leaving town?”
“No.”
“Then, I really don’t want to hear it. I have work to do,” I mumble, as I turn to go to my office.
“Don’t you think we should talk, Ellie? It’s been—”
“I know how long it’s been, Liam. The time for us to talk was before the divorce was final. Now, it’s over. It’s the past and we leave it in the past.” I hold my head down and pinch my nose when Liam follows me. I stop walking and turn to look at him. “I’m asking you to leave me alone.”
“I just want to talk to you, Ice. Don’t you think that after everything we should be able to spend ten minutes talking to one another without giving each other bullshit?”
I study his face, but as usual he gives nothing away. I finally let out a breath, giving in. It’s clear that Liam isn’t about to give up. There’s one thing I know about him, he is like a dog with a bone. I might as well get this over with.
“Fine,” I huff. “Ten minutes, but that’s it and when we’re done, you’re leaving,” I warn him. He doesn’t reply, which should worry me. I lead him to the office and once he walks inside, I close the door.
“How did you end up managing a bar?” he asks, looking around my small office.
I let out an annoyed breath. “I don’t want to do this with you, Liam.”
“Do what?”
“Exchange small talk. How did you find me? Did you think it was funny hiring a hooker in my bar? Trying to get me back for leaving you? That seems petty as hell, especially after hearing nothing from you since I walked out.”
“I can see your opinion of me hasn’t improved in the time we’ve been apart, Ice.”
“Is there a reason it should have?”
“You seriously asking me that shit, Ellie?” he asks, sliding his ass on my desk, ignoring my crap he’s pushing back or the papers he’s wrinkling. “Fuck woman, we lived together for two and a half years. Don’t you think in all of that time you should have at least known me a little?”
“I know you, Liam.”
“It sure as fuck doesn’t sound like it. It sounds like you don’t even like me,” he mutters, his gray eyes cutting into me.
“Jesus Christ and cockleshells, Liam, what’s the point of even getting into this now? It’s over. Why are you even here? I don’t see or hear from you for over a year. You send our separation agreement by certified mail and there’s no note or anything. What does any of this even matter anymore?”
“I forgot the bullshit you used to say when you were upset,” he murmurs, smiling at my make-believe curse word. I roll my eyes and say nothing. “I never did get a copy of our divorce decree,” he says, his voice going quieter.
“You should have contacted the courthouse and requested a copy. It’s not my place to take care of that crap for you anymore.”
“I didn’t really want to see it. Seeing it would have made it more real, Ice.”
“We’ve been apart for almost two years. It can’t get much realer than that, Liam,” I respond, my words tight because there’s a pain blooming in my chest I haven’t felt in months. I really can’t handle being this close to Liam again. I’ve always been too vulnerable when he’s around.
“I never wanted this, Ice. I thought we were forever,” he says. I close my eyes at the bittersweet quality to his voice.
“We’re just too different,” I tell him, my voice heartbreakingly sad, as I try to breathe through the heaviness in my chest.
“That’s one of the things I always loved, Ice,” he murmurs, stepping in so close to me that I can smell his aftershave. “Don’t you remember?” His finger strokes against the side of my cheek. My eyelids get heavy, my body sways toward him, but then I jerk myself out of the haze he draws me into. I take a step away from him.
“I remember it’s over. I remember you had another woman sucking your dick last night and probably have quite often since I’ve been gone. I remember we’re divorced, but most of all I remember that we tried to make it work and it didn’t.”
“You expected me to swear off women after you left me, Ellie?” he laughs, but he doesn’t sound humorous.
“Not at all. I actually figured you fucked one of the club whores the day you came back and found I was gone.”
“Maybe it’s good we did get divorced then, Ice, because it’s clear you never knew me at all.”
He gives me a long, hard look that I can’t decipher and then walks out. I don’t know how long I stand there looking at the door, all I know is I have to resist the urge to cry…
Fury
“You heading back home?” Devil asks, while my hand tightens on the phone.
“Man,” I start, rubbing the back of my neck, lying back onto the pillows in the cheap motel bed. I stare up at the ceiling which is supposed to be white, but is more smoke-stained yellow with dark spots showing water damage scattered about like confetti. The place also smells like a gym locker room. In other words, a real dump.
“What’s going on with you, Fury?”
“I just have some personal shit I need to wade through. I don’t want to let you down but, I can’t head out to Chicago right now.”
“Asshole,” Devil growls. “Stop. You’ve put your life on hold for a while now trying to chase down this damn thing. You got real leads for us, plus we know that Torrent’s sister should be settled in Chicago now. Gunner is already there and I’m leaving out tomorrow. Stop worrying about it. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on with you?”
“Torrent’s going to let you go to Chicago alone?”
“Fuck, no. She
’s demanding to go with me.”
“Oh, hell. You can’t let her do that. What about LD?”
“Do you know you’re the only asshole that calls my kid that? His name is Logan, asshole.”
“He’s going to be a hell raiser like his dad. So his name should be Little Devil. Torrent didn’t want me calling her son Devil…” I shrug, even though he can’t see the movement. “I compromised.”
“Whatever. It will kill her to leave Cannon behind. So, we’re still fighting about it.”
“Cannon?”
“Little Devil is hung like his dad. Going to be a chip off the old block that one.”
“Christ,” I mutter.
“We’re talking hung like a horse,” Devil brags.
“Let it go, Devil,” I mumble, trying not to laugh. I miss my old buddy. It’s hard for me to believe that I’ve only seen him a couple of times in a year. I’ve made finding Wolf a priority. It had to be, and I’m the only original member in the club that doesn’t have a family that needs them at home. Doesn’t mean I don’t miss them like crazy. The club hasn’t felt like home for a while, however…not since Ellie left. “How are you going to get Torrent to stay home?”
“Tie her to the fucking bed tonight and wear her out.”
“You think that will work?”
“I’ll keep her tied up. She’ll think that means she gets my dick through the night. Which, hey...” He breaks off laughing and I shake my head. “And when she wakes up, after being worn out and barely able to move, I’ll be gone.”
“Who’s supposed to untie her the next day?”
“Red.”
“Rory must really like you.”
“Fuck you. Everyone likes me. Now, tell me why in the fuck you’re avoiding my question.”
“What question?” I grumble, still stalling.
“Fury, quit being a fucking tool.”
“Ellie’s here,” I finally respond, the words feeling like dead weight.
“Motherfucker.”
“Yeah.”
“How’s she look?”
“Like a fucking queen. Christ, Devil, I forgot just how fucking beautiful she is.”
“She always was a looker. Still have that mouth?”
“Gives you hell just for breathing, yeah…”
“Always liked that about her.”
“That’s because you and I have a type. Torrent is a lot like Ellie.”
“Probably, except my girl loves this club.”
“Yeah, except for that.”
“It probably helped that Torrent saw how bad a club could be and the fucking nightmares that we try to shut down here, Bro.”
“Maybe.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Fuck if I know, Devil. I just know I can’t leave yet. I could lie and say it’s because there’s still a chance Wolf is here…”
“But, you’d stay either way.”
“I’d stay either way,” I agree, closing my eyes. The minute I do, it’s Ellie’s face that I see. Yeah, I can’t leave. My brain is too fucked up. The problem is I’m not sure I’ll be able to leave Ellie at all.
“Stay safe and check the fuck in,” Devil growls.
“Will do. Good luck wearing your woman out.” I try and joke.
“Fuck off. I don’t need luck for that shit. You forget who you’re talking to. I’m the fucking king of fucking.”
“A legend in your own mind,” I laugh. “Later, Devil.”
“Later, Bro. Keep safe.”
“You, too.”
I hang up, instantly missing the asshole. I love all my brothers in the crew, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that the blood runs deeper with Devil. Our connection is stronger and maybe that’s why I’ve dedicated this past year to trying to find Wolf and ending my brother’s nightmare.
I can’t go to Chicago. I have to stay here and figure out my own head. If I don’t, I’ll be too distracted and Wolf will put a bullet in me before I get a chance to end his miserable life. That won’t help Devil. I’ve got to get my shit together. I’ve been ignoring it for way too long.
I’ve got to deal with how I feel about Ellie… and how she feels about me.
Fuck.
Ellie
“Do you realize you’ve been here every night for over a week now?” I growl at Liam.
“You’ve noticed,” he says with a smirk.
“Cut the hogwash, Liam. What are you up to?”
“I think the word is probably bullshit, Ice.”
“What are you up to? Why are you hanging around here all at once?”
“I want to talk to you. Shit, Ellie. I just want to spend a little time with you. Is it so bad that I’d like to be your friend? You’re important to me. We meant a lot to each other at one time. Hell, you still mean a lot to me.”
“You get how that’s kind of hard to believe from where I’m standing, Liam?”
I sigh as I look down at the man who has practically been staying at the bar this past week. He’s also haunted my thoughts. I can’t seem to get away from him. Trina said he even comes in on my nights off. When he finds out I’m not there, he leaves. It’s confusing as hell. If he had given me all this attention when I first left, we might be together now.
Damn it! I’m a bitch for even thinking that. I left Liam. I made a choice. It’s not one I wanted to make and during the time we’ve been apart, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t regret it most of the time. I was scared. No woman wants the man she is in love with to be able to kill someone in cold blood. No woman wants to visit her man in jail for the rest of her life.
Unless the alternative means she won’t see him at all.
How many times have I thought about that since I left? There were times that I ached for Liam. God, what is wrong with me? I was just starting to finally put him behind me and then…he showed up.
“You knew where I was all this time, Ice. You could have called or come back home. You had to know I would have welcomed you with open arms.”
“Maybe at first. I’m not stupid, Liam and I had lived the club life for a while. I knew what would be available to warm your bed the minute I left.”
“None of them were you.”
“They were still pretty, warm, and willing,” I tell him, the words hurting.
“When do you get off tonight?” he asks. His face is stern, his gray eyes almost piercing. I lick my lips nervously, raking my teeth against my bottom lip. I feel like I’m preparing myself to jump off a cliff. I know it’s not a smart move, but it’s something I want so much that I can’t stop myself either.
“I’m off now. I’m getting a migraine, called the other manager in so I could go home. Plus, Harvey is here tonight. I’m not needed.”
“Let me take you home.”
“I’ve got my car,” I tell him, this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I’m making a mistake that I might not recover from.
“Then, let me follow you home. You used to say that I was the only one that knew how to help your headaches, remember?”
“We’re not having sex, Liam.” His full lips spread into a smile and his eyes seem to virtually heat. I ignore the way that makes me feel, or the fact I can feel my panties get wet. Liam’s smile was always lethal to my well-being.
“I meant my massages, but Ice, I’d like nothing better than to sink my dick into you,” he says, his voice dropping down into a throaty growl that sends goosebumps over my flesh.
Damn him.
“And that right there is why this is a bad idea,” I tell him, shaking my head no. I start backing away from him, my fight or flight instincts finally kicking in. I’m running away and I’m not a bit ashamed to admit it.
“Let me follow you home and take care of you, Ice. I promise I’ll be on my best behavior.”
“Liam—”
“I mean it, Ellie. I’ll be a freaking Boy Scout,” he says, already getting up and letting me know that he’s not prepared to take no for an answer. It’s just my l
uck that I don’t really want to say no…
“You do one thing I don’t want, you’re out of there and you don’t argue,” I mutter, knowing I’m doing the wrong thing, but unable to stop myself.
“You got it,” he says, putting his hand at my back and leading me out of the bar. I glance up at his face, because even at five-seven, he towers over me. He looks entirely too satisfied with himself.
“You can wipe that smile off of your face. Even if I wanted sex from you—which I don’t—”
“Liar.”
“I’d never have sex with anyone who let Hayley near his dick. You’ll be lucky if Fury, Jr. doesn’t fall off.”
“Christ, Ellie,” he mutters, the look gone from his face. For a second, I resist laughing when his hand goes down to his crotch without thought. Maybe he’s checking to make sure his dick is still attached. That thought makes it impossible to keep the laughter at bay. “You’re such a bitch,” he laughs. “Besides, you stopped her before she got to the good stuff, so Fury, Jr. is safe.”
“You should thank me for that,” I mutter, thankful we make it to my car so this conversation can stop. Suddenly, I don’t want to think of Hayley under Liam’s table. I don’t want to think of Liam with any other woman because it hurts. I need to remember that it shouldn’t. That we’re not together and there’s a reason for that.
I need to stop him from following me to the house.
But I don’t…
Fury
“You’re lying! Devil did not fall in love with a nun!” Ellie laughs.
God, I miss that laugh.
“He did. Well kind of, it’s a long story. The point is that he’s married and has a little boy now.”
“I can hardly believe that. I would have thought Devil was an eternal bachelor,” she says, shaking her head.
“He wouldn’t be alive without Torrent,” I tell her. I lose my train of thought as I stare at her.
I don’t know how it’s possible you can forget how truly beautiful a woman is, but my memory somehow pales in comparison to the real thing. Her white-gold hair is thick and long. It falls in soft waves around her face. One side of it is flipped over to the other, making my hands itch to run my fingers through it. Her plush lips give new meaning to the term bee stung, and her body still makes me hard with just a glance. That’s not what draws my attention, however. It’s her eyes, they’re a blue, but a blue unlike any I’ve ever seen before. They’re like the blue waters in Belize. I’ve never seen anything like them to describe it any other way. I had traveled to Belize once and the ocean there always stayed with me. From the moment I first saw Ellie, she brought those memories back. I even took her there on our honeymoon and made love to her on the beach as the waves crashed around us.