by Jordan Marie
“Sure, I just put Cannon down for his nap. Shit. Logan has me calling him that now,” Torrent mutters, making me laugh.
“It’s a good road name,” I say with a giggle.
“It is, but never tell Logan I admitted to that.”
“Your secret is safe with me.” I’m laughing as we enter the kitchen, but when we get there and Connie is there with another girl that I don’t know, the laugh dies. I don’t like that she approached Liam last night. I know Liam told me to forget it, but that’s not easy. You have to handle these things head on, or bitches like Connie think they have the green light to fuck your man. I don’t think Liam would jeopardize us like that, but I don’t like Connie thinking that’s okay.
I follow Torrent to the bar. We walk past Connie and the other girl and though Connie’s eyes bore into me, she doesn’t say anything. I sit down at the bar and grab a paper plate. There’s large platters full of lunch meat and condiments. There’s loaves of bread at the end of that. One great thing about club life is that there is always ready prepared food. It works great for me because I truly hate cooking.
The entire time Torrent and I are constructing our sandwiches, I feel Connie’s eyes on me. With each passing moment, it sparks my anger.
“Jesus.”
“What’s wrong?” Torrent asks, looking up at me in surprise.
“Some problem with the club candy. She hit on Liam last night and he shot her down. Now she’s staring me down. Liam asked me not to talk to her and to just let it go. He thinks that she’ll get the message when it becomes clearer that I’m here to stay.”
“Damn it. Men can be so clueless,” Torrent snorts.
“Right?”
“Is it Connie the Cunt? Girl, a house could fall on her and she still couldn’t find a damn clue. I thought we were rid of her once, but she came back after begging to Rory that she was homeless. Rory has a big heart and I’m pretty sure she was on an overdose of pregnancy hormones,” Torrent mutters.
I nearly choke on my sandwich. “Connie the Cunt? Now, that’s hilarious.”
“And true, don’t forget that part,” Torrent giggles with me. It is funny, but I wish Rory hadn’t let Connie come back.
“What are you two laughing at?” Connie calls out and we both stop laughing. It appears Connie is going to demand a showdown after all.
“Did anyone talk to you, Connie? It’s not your business to know or even care what I’m laughing about,” I tell her, dropping my sandwich back on my plate and crossing my arms at my waist. I didn’t like Connie much when I lived here before and now, I really don’t like her.
“You always did think you were hot stuff, Eleanor. But, you’re not. You’re shit. You got such a big head because you were one of the original old ladies. Well, times have changed since you’ve been gone. In case you haven’t realized it, there’s more women here now, and you’re no longer the queen around here.”
“I’m happy with the way things are, Connie. And any way you look at it, I will always mean more around here than you, so don’t you worry about my ego.”
“Bitch. Why do you think you mean more to the club than me? I’ve had almost every man here. They want anything I give them.”
“Jesus, Connie, you act like it’s a big thing to spread your legs for a man. Men are like pigs. They see a cheap puddle of mud they’ll rut in it all day, but it’s not because they give a fuck about the water,” Torrent says, giving me a wink and taking a bite of her sandwich.
“What are you talking about?” Connie demands.
“Stop trying to explain. Sarcasm goes straight over her head. Too much hair dye,” I tell Torrent, quickly growing bored with this conversation.
“Oh yeah, bitch? You think you’re so great, but you’ll be gone again soon and when you do, I’ll be there to make sure Fury is taken care of.”
“Now, you’re dreaming,” I tell her, shaking my head. “Liam can’t stand you. He’d never touch you, even if I wasn’t in the picture and trust me when I tell you, Connie, I’m not going anywhere. Liam is mine and that’s not about to change.”
“Keep believing that. Fury will come find me. I know how he likes it.”
“Whatever,” I mutter. “I’ve suddenly lost my appetite,” I tell Torrent.
“Can’t say as I blame you. She’s forgotten her place.”
“My place? What the fuck do you know what my place is?”
“I know that talking to old ladies at all puts you in jeopardy but disrespecting us will get you kicked out,” Torrent warns.
“You can try. Won’t change the fact that I’ve had your man’s dick and Fury’s. That’s really what pisses you two off,” Connie snarls.
“Bitch please, you haven’t touched Logan’s cock, or if you have, it was before he met me. You’re just an annoying gnat.”
“Maybe I haven’t, but I sure as hell have had Fury’s.”
My heart freezes in my chest and I know the shock shows on my face, it caught me too unaware. I didn’t get time to disguise it.
“That surprises you, doesn’t it, Eleanor? I gave your man what you couldn’t when you left. So go ahead, play old lady until you grow bored. When you leave again, I’ll be here to pick up the pieces, just like last time.”
“Ellie—” Torrent says, putting her hand on mine.
“You get around Liam and I’ll kill you,” I tell her and right now, I don’t think I’m kidding.
“You can try, but I know I can handle your skinny ass,” Connie says and she spits in the air at my direction.
That’s what it takes to flip my switch. I probably should walk away, but the thought of Liam fucking this woman—not to mention lying to me about it—pushes me over the edge. I launch myself at her, grabbing some of her cheap, dyed hair and shoving her onto the floor.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Diesel growls. I hear him, but I don’t look at him, I’m too busy trying to yank enough hair out of Connie’s head to make the bitch bald. I’m wailing at her with my fists and my nails when Diesel wraps his arms around me, pulling me off of Connie.
“Let me go. I’m going to teach this bitch some respect,” I growl, kicking to get free.
Rebel pulls Connie away.
“Bitch!” Connie snarls.
“Whore!” I scream back.
“Scorp, track Fury down and tell him he needs to get back here and contain his woman.”
“Contain me? What about that piece of trash?” I bark, still trying to get free.
“I’ll deal with her,” Diesel says. “She’s out of here.”
“Why? She started this shit!” Connie screams.
“You spit on her. Number one rule for all the girls here is that you don’t disrespect old ladies. You know that shit Connie, and you still try to push it. Now, I’m done,” Diesel growls. “I should have never let your ass back in here after I kicked you out the first time. You managed to beg to Rory and she allowed you to come back. I still haven’t figured out how you managed that shit.”
I calm down, somewhat then. What he says makes me feel marginally better. “You can let me go. I’ll behave now,” I tell Diesel and he lets me go.
That was his mistake.
The second he lets me go, I go after her again and this time my fist connects with her face. It hurts like hell, but the satisfaction is well worth it, even when she hits me back, and manages to cut my cheek with her fake ass diamond. I yank a big gob of her hair out and it’s still in my hand when Diesel drags me away again.
Still worth it.
Ellie
“What the fuck is going on, Ellie?” Fury growls, storming into our room.
A room I’ve been locked in for the last hour.
Diesel practically threw me in here and then locked me in. I didn’t even know these rooms could be locked from the outside. That’s a bunch of bullshit. If I was going to stay here—which I’m not—that would have to change.
My suitcase is on the bed and I’m throwing things in it. I’ve only been
packing the last fifteen minutes. Until that time, I was trying to break out of the room. When it became clear that wasn’t happening, I started packing.
“I tell you what’s going on, Liam,” I snarl. “Connie the mother-trucking biker slut.”
“Fuck,” Liam hisses and my heart squeezes in my damn chest. Until this moment, I expected him to completely deny everything, but he’s not. When I look at him and really focus, I see the guilt on his face.
“Right,” I mutter, throwing more shit in my suitcase. “I’m such a fucking idiot. I truly believed you.”
“Damn it, Ellie.”
“How many more were there, Liam?”
“Ellie—”
“Never mind, don’t tell me. It’s not like I’d believe you anyway. I’m such a stupid fool. Why did I believe you? My dick has never been inside another woman, Ellie. I only wanted you, Ellie. My dick was broken without you, Ellie. Jesus! I’m a fucking idiot!” I snarl, again throwing more crap in my suitcase.
Liam stomps over to the bed, grabs my suitcase, holding it upside down so everything falls onto the floor. Then, he slings the suitcase across the room.
“You’re not leaving, Ellie!”
“The fuck I’m not, Liam. There’s nothing keeping me here.”
“Damn it, woman! I’m here. I matter. Didn’t you learn the first time around?” he growls. I pick up my suitcase, looking at his face. I hate that superior look he’s sporting. I swing the suitcase at him, hitting him in the waist. Not that the big dummy could feel it.
“I really hate that you’re built like a brick outhouse.”
“That’s not the term, Ellie.”
“I don’t give a fuck, Liam. You lied to me.”
“I didn’t. I just didn’t tell you the whole truth.”
“Are you for real right now? Do you know how it felt to be told by a whore that she’s been riding your dick for two years!?!?!”
“First of all, that bitch hasn’t been riding my dick. I didn’t lie to you when I said my cock hasn’t been inside another woman.”
“Then tell me, how does that whore claim she’s had your cock? Don’t you try lying to me either, Liam. You have guilt written all over your freaking face.”
“The bitch sucked me off a few times, Ellie. That’s it.”
“That’s it? Christ you’re such an asshole. That’s why you told me you got a clean bill of health before coming to Phoenix. I’m so stupid. I should have known it happened before. I mean, you were getting a hummer at the bar. Gee, Liam, I knew you liked blowjobs, but I didn’t know it was your favorite.”
“That’s because with you, it’s not,” he growls.
“Oh, I’m so sorry I don’t live up to the skills of a fucking professional. Shit, you’ve been fucking me without a raincoat! If you gave me a fucking disease, I’ll kill you, Liam Maverick.”
“I don’t have anything. You know as well as I do that the club makes the girls take mandatory tests for that kind of shit.”
“Gee, I feel soooo much better now,” I huff.
“Damn it, Ice. What did you expect? You left for two years. So, I got drunk and let some bitch suck my cock a few times. It didn’t mean anything, the whole fucking time I had you in my mind. It was you I wanted.”
“Surely you get why that doesn’t fill me with happiness,” I growl, still angry, but suddenly feeling exhausted.
“I get it, but I got to tell you that I’m really fucking pissed that your first instinct is to leave me. You did that once and almost destroyed both of us. When in the fuck are you going to grow up and face our relationship like an adult, Ellie?”
“I am facing our relationship like an adult,” I mumble, but I’m lying and we both know it.
“Bullshit. Ever since you’ve came back, you’ve been hiding something. Don’t even bother denying it. I see the look on your face when you think no one’s looking. You look tortured. If you don’t love me, if you don’t want to be here, why in the fuck did you come back?”
“I came back because I love you. I want to be here, Liam.”
“Then why won’t you agree to have a baby with me? Why are you holding a piece of yourself from me? I can feel it, Ellie. I know you’re not giving me everything. What the fuck is going on with you?”
“Well, it’s a good thing I didn’t give you all of me, isn’t it Liam? Considering you’ve been giving it to Connie,” I mumble.
“That’s bullshit. You can be pissed about it, but you know Connie meant nothing to me, Ice. You also know that I have never wanted anyone but you. I saw you almost five years ago and all other women ceased to exist for me. You’re it for me, Ellie. You’ve always been it. You’re the one always running away. You’re the one holding pieces of yourself away from me.”
“I told you, Liam. I’m just not ready for a baby. There are things we need to—”
“Then stop putting it off, Ice. Tell me what I don’t know. Let it out.”
“I can’t, Liam.”
“You need to, Ellie. Tell me and we’ll deal with it.”
“Okay, I can, but I don’t want to.”
“Why, Ice?”
I swallow, my mouth suddenly feeling dry. I sit down on the bed, suddenly tired and feeling all alone. I look up at Liam and I know he can see the pain on my face. I don’t try to hide it from him.
“I don’t want to tell you, because once I do, you’ll kick me out and you’ll never take me back.”
“Now you’re talking crazy, Ellie,” he dismisses me, but I don’t blink as I look into his eyes.
“No, I’m not. I betrayed you, Liam and I know you well enough to know that you will never be able to forgive me.”
I see the shock on his face. My nerves are churning in my stomach and I fight the urge to be sick. I hold my head down, suddenly wishing I could take it all back and keep my secret.
Fury
“What are you talking about, Ellie?” I ask, not sure I want to know the answer, but knowing that we can’t move forward unless I do.
Of all of the things I thought Ellie would say, I never once thought she would tell me she betrayed me. She hasn’t said what it is. It could be anything and the first thing that comes to mind is that she slept with someone else. Did Ellie cheat on me back then? If she did, can I get over it?
Fuck.
I watch as Ellie looks at me. I see her nerves. I see the way she’s trembling. Whatever this is, it’s big. I want to scream at her not to tell me. I don’t know if I’ll survive losing Ellie forever and suddenly that feels like what this is.
“Do you remember the week before you left to hunt down Vicki, Liam? Do you remember how sick I was? We thought maybe I had picked up the stomach virus from Ryan.”
“I remember, Ellie,” I tell her, because I do. It was one of the reasons that I didn’t truly want to leave. It was my job and my responsibility, but I would have rather stayed home, making sure my girl was okay.
“I took a home pregnancy test, just on a whim. At the time, I remember thinking it was silly, but I did it and…it was positive.”
I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me.
“You were…” I have to stop, I clear out my throat try again, rubbing the side of my neck as I realize what she just said. “You were pregnant? Then, where’s the baby, Ellie? Have you kept my child from me all of this time? Is that why you said you betrayed me?” I can’t keep my voice steady, or the accusation from sounding harsh. I feel like I’ve been thrown in some fucking alternative universe, because this can’t be coming from my wife’s mouth.
“No,” she cries. “I’d never keep your child from you, Liam, no matter what.”
“Then, I guess you’re going to have to explain this to me, Ice, because I’m fucking lost.” I mutter, still unable to process what she’s saying. There’s a part of me that is upset there’s not a baby and I can’t begin to explain how fucked up that is.
“It turned out to be a false positive. I went to the doctor, because I wanted it confi
rmed before you left. I wanted to surprise you. I was crushed when I found out that I wasn’t. I had already begun planning the nursery. I got my hopes up, even though I knew I shouldn’t.”
“Ice, I don’t understand, what’s going on here. Why didn’t you tell me back then? What the fuck is this about?”
“I was going to tell you about the test, ask you if you could stay home at least one more day, because I was so crushed. I needed you to hold me and tell me it would be alright. But, you let it slip what you were doing, and what your job was.”
“Fuck.”
“You remember our fight,” she murmurs. “I was so upset, Liam. My head wasn’t in the right place. Then, I come to you, only to have you tell me you’re off to end the life of a woman who was just trying to hold onto her son. I didn’t like her, but I understood the need to hold onto her baby, because in that moment I wanted a child, I wanted the chance to be a mother, I wanted…so much.”
“Ellie, no.” I almost moan the words, unable to process everything she’s saying to me. She starts crumbling in front of me. I can see it, but I’m frozen where I am. I know she’s getting ready to rip my heart out. I’m not stupid. There’s a reason our intel was so good and then when I took off to Virginia to find Vicki, she just disappeared. She was like a ghost, which wasn’t her style at all. I know what’s coming next. I know. But, I need to hear it. “What did you do, Ellie?”
“Liam,” she sobs.
“Tell me!” I yell. “What did you do!?!?!”
“She called the club to demand that Diesel bring her son to her. She was high, I could tell even through the phone. I told her she needed to get help. I warned her that if she didn’t get clean, she didn’t have a chance of ever getting her son.”
“No, Ellie, don’t tell me you…God, no, Ice.” I’m begging her, even though I know it’s useless.
“I told her you were coming, Liam. I told her she needed to get in a re-hab and disappear if she ever hoped to see her son again.”
My eyes close. It feels as if my heart has been ripped out of my chest.