Liam’s face paled as he watched her drag me away. “Text me if you need me, Autumn. I won’t be long.”
I nodded and let Isabella pull me away from my safe place. Stunned was the only word I could formulate as I entered the huge, white, commercial kitchen.
“Um, impressive,” I said, letting a small laugh escape my lips.
“This was the only thing I requested to remodel when I moved in,” she said, twirling around the room. I should have hated her for making Liam bitter. I should have hated her for being so beautiful and a good cook and having good hair. But she was too nice to hate. Somewhere deep down inside, I felt she was trapped here in some way. I almost pitied her if my suspicions were correct.
“Is something going on out there?” I asked.
Her face fell. Suddenly her pretty kitchen was a million miles away, and all she could concentrate on was everything she didn’t want to think about.
“Business stuff. I guess with Liam quitting ball, Alec is trying to give him a new opportunity.”
“Opportunity?” My nose scrunched, confused.
She gripped the counter, letting her head fall, her hair created a curtain between us. Almost as if on cue she let out a deep breath, stood straight up, and composed herself.
“Autumn, the best advice I can give you in this life is to not ask questions,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t get too caught up on the bad stuff, Autumn. Focus on the parts that you love about the person you’re with.”
“And what happens when the bad outweighs the good?” I asked, crossing my arms.
“I have a feeling we aren’t talking about you and Liam.”
“Just in general.”
“What was your parents’ relationship like?” she asked, and I was taken aback.
“Was? How do you know it was in the past?” I demanded.
She looked horrified. “Please don’t say anything.”
“Did Alec look into me?”
She didn’t say anything—she didn’t need to. Her face said everything I needed to know. Just like that, everything made sense. The house, the secrets, why Liam had no relationship with him. It ran a lot deeper than I would ever know, and I’ was okay with that. The less I knew, the better.
“Something shady is going on here, and I won’t be a part of it. I hope Liam agrees,” I said. I busted through the door leading to the dining room. I ran into the foyer, following the same path I’d come in because I had no idea how to get out of this hell hole. I wasn’t sure what my plan was, but I just knew I needed fresh air.
Liam’s family was fucked. His dad was evil. His stepmom was stuck. And they had information about me. As I was walking out of the front door, I heard Liam. I’d never heard that tone coming from his mouth, and it scared the shit out of me.
“No! I’m done!” he shouted. I clung to the wall, hoping he didn’t see me.
“You have too much of your mother in you. You know she was leaving me before she got sick, right? Everyone wants my damn money, but everyone acts so high and mighty when they find out what I do!”
“I wish she had fucking left! She would’ve died happier than being here with you.”
“Come on, Liam. That’s not fair,” he pleaded. “You’ll change your mind.”
Liam’s face was unreadable as he spotted me, and he looked relieved in that instant. He held his hand out, wrapping mine in it. Alec grabbed his should, stopping him with one last plea.
“I’ll step back. Just please promise me you won’t cut me out of your life,” Alec said, looking between Liam and me. Liam nodded and pulled me from the house and into the safety of his car.
“I don’t want to know,” I said, and he nodded. “Unless you just need to talk about it.”
“He just wants to control me. He’s been cooking that up since I told him I wasn’t playing ball. I don’t know if it was a shock factor or if he really thought I was anything like him.”
I let him work it out in his head for a minute, wondering if I should let him vent more.
Twenty-Six
“That was…intense,” I said.
“That was exactly how I thought it would go,” he said through clenched teeth. He sent his fist flying into the steering wheel, leaving a dent. He looked at me with an apology, but I nodded. The truth was that I didn’t flinch over violence anymore.
He leaned his head into my neck, pleading and apologizing with each kiss he placed on my skin.
“Push your seat back,” I demanded. He looked confused but did as I asked. Without another thought I straddled his lap, crushing my lips against his. We might have sucked at communicating, our families might have been in the running for the worst people in history, but damn if we couldn’t forget all of that with a simple moment of passion.
I pulled my shirt off and he stopped. Looking over my body, he said, “You’re beautiful, Autumn.”
His lips crashed into mine. Don’t get me wrong, we’d kissed before, but we were doing it all wrong before this moment. His mouth was hot, and sweet, and longing for me to make him forget. Without pulling away from his mouth I fumbled with the hem of his shirt, desperately trying to rip it off. He met me halfway, tearing it off and throwing it into the dark oblivion with my shirt.
His warm fingers stroked my cheek, gauging my reaction. His chest rose and fell with mine. I could see it in his eyes; he’d never looked at me like this. For the first time, we really saw each other. And I could see that he needed me.
Without saying a word, I lifted my skirt and slipped my panties off. He palmed my chest, still holding my gaze, almost asking for permission before he lost control. Wrapping his hands in my hair, he pulled me into him, trailing kisses starting at my jaw, my neck, and finally sucking my nipple into his mouth. “Autumn, are you sure?”
“I want you,” I whispered.
He moaned. “After a fight? In front of my parents’ house? You sure this isn’t you trying to make me feel better?” With every word he spoke, I could feel him giving in.
I ground into him and he let out a frustrated growl. “We need this, Liam.”
And with that, all reservations he once had flew out his car window. He slid his fingers into a place I never knew I had been begging him to touch until that moment. Gasping, I went to work undoing his pants. I frantically pulled his pants down as far as they would go. Once I was satisfied, I gripped him, stroking up and down, making him feel as good as he made me feel.
My movements stopped as I gripped his shoulders and dug my mouth against his chest. My body convulsed as I shouted his name over and over.
“Baby, you can’t yell,” he chuckled in my ear. He moved his hand, putting a stop to my pleasure. I stuck my bottom lip out, pouting, and he kissed it. “Autumn, are you sure?”
“I’ve never been surer about anything in my life,” I said.
He reached into his glove compartment and pulled out a condom. I raised my brow at him. “What? I have a girlfriend. You never know when you might need one.” He gestured around the car and I giggled.
Once he rolled the condom on, he took my face in his hands, stroking my cheek, and placed a soft kiss on my lips. “I can’t believe I’m letting our first time be in a car. I’m a dick.”
“It’s out of your control,” I teased, kissing him.
“I haven’t been in control since you turned me down at that bus stop.” He offered a soft smile before going serious. “You’ll tell me if it hurts?”
I nodded and held my breath. I leaned against the steering wheel as he slowly pushed forward. With a gasp I engulfed him, uncomfortably at first.
“Autumn, look at me.”
My face was screwed up in pain, but I cracked my eyes open to find him watching me carefully. This wasn’t my first time, but it was so much more than being fifteen years old and losing my virginity as a bet—unbeknownst to me. So, I’d forget that. Erasing it from my memory. Liam was now the fist.
“Relax. Are you okay?” I no
dded because I was unsure of what I would sound like if I spoke. I took his advice, relaxing my body into his. I wrapped arms around him, getting used to the slow and steady rhythm of our bodies combining.
The windows were fogged, and our breathing matched the steady rock of the car. He kissed me sweetly and tenderly, whispering sweet words I only half understood.
When his lips reached my ear, he said, “Autumn, this is more for me. This is more than liking you.”
My breath hitched and my walls clenched, building pressure. “Liam,” I said, wanting to say more, but I was unable to finish before my body started to tremble. It was different than the first time. He must have caught on to what was happening because he picked up his pace. As I finally let go a second time he did, too. I slumped against him, drained.
“Why did we wait so long?” I asked, and he attempted to laugh.
“For the right moment.”
Realizing we were still in front of his dad’s house, I quickly moved off his lap and started to dress as quickly as I could. He disposed of the condom and pulled his clothes back on.
“We need to get out of here,” I giggled.
“You read my mind,” he said, chuckling. “I meant what I said before, Autumn. I more than like you.”
I looked at him through hooded, sleepy eyes. “I more than like you, too.”
“Will you stay at my place tonight?” he asked. In this moment he was so boyish and shy.
“I was hoping you’d ask.”
He kissed me, sweet and tender, before driving off. I couldn’t wait to get that toxic house out of the rearview mirror, but at least I had one good memory there. I looked at him, and it was as if we both had the same thought because we burst into a deep, throaty, full-belly laughter.
“How did I find you at just the right time?” It was almost a rhetorical question, meant only for him.
“I could ask the same of you.”
“Don’t ever go anywhere. Promise me that,” he said. I entwined our fingers, kissing his knuckles, secretly hoping our wild college romance story never ended.
Twenty-Seven
When I woke up, I was tangled in Liam Shafer’s sheets and he was staring at me with a shit-eating grin as he traced my bare back. Groaning, I only pretended he was bothering me. The truth was, I’d never been a morning person, but after last night happened, I thought I could find ways to wake up easier. If only I could have stayed safely wrapped in the comfort of his arms just a while longer.
I watched the neighborhood streak by as I smiled over our morning. His music was soft, barely audible over the loud motor. His fingers were entangled in mine as his thumb circled my skin.
Liam deserved the world, and I had to do my part by showing him everything that I was. After being in the constant stream of drama that was his life, I was certain he could handle mine. Well, I was hoping. I had a gnawing suspicion he’d look at me differently after today.
“This is it,” he announced as he parked as closely as we could get to my dorm. I unbuckled my seatbelt, taking my bottom lip between my teeth. I hoped with everything I was that Josie wasn’t in. She would snoop for sure. She probably already had.
I slid the bent key into the lock, slightly jiggling it to open the old door. I wondered if it was too late to yell, ‘Surprise, we’re playing board games!’ instead of dragging out that awful safe under my bed.
He shoved his hands into his pockets, and with his eyebrow cocked he looked around the small, dingy dorm. “So, what’s the big secret? You have a dead body in here?”
I rolled my eyes, letting out the best laugh I could muster in that moment. “I wish.”
His brow furrowed at my choice of words. “That was a first.”
I ignored his banter. Throwing my small purse onto my bed I reached underneath, slowly dragging my small secret keeper from its hidden place. I entered the code. Kaleb’s birthday. It was always his birthday now. With a long, exasperated sigh, I grabbed a newspaper clipping and handed it to him.
“What’s this?” he asked, confused.
“Just read it.”
I watched as his face smoothed from confusion and into surprise. He rubbed his forehead before sitting down on my bed, reading it again.
“This was your family,” he finally said.
“My mom and my brother.”
For reasons unknown to me I grabbed the article from him, gluing my eyes to the words. The truth was this was the third article. The last one. They had given up.
A 46-year-old woman and her son, 16, died after driving a car into the lake one year ago today, police and fire officials said.
Authorities on Monday identified the dead woman as Alicia Miller, and her son, Kaleb Miller.
Kaleb Miller died on impact; Alicia was in serious condition when she was pulled from the submerged Altima by emergency divers. Local medics attempted to resuscitate her at the scene, then took her to the hospital, but Miller later died on the way to the hospital, a spokesperson for the police department said.
The investigation has concluded, and no foul play was involved. Although toxicology report for the driver, Kaleb Miller, was comprised, the department has ruled this an accident.
Anyone with additional information may call 410-396-2100.
Kaleb.
His name slammed into me like a dull knife, gashing open wounds I’d slapped a mental band aid on, while pretending everything was okay. Each time I forgot, the tragedy struck again, and the festering wound ripped open again. Our sins. They never fully went away.
I tucked the article back into the safe, sighing. Here goes nothing, Liam. I hope you don’t hate me. I opened the safe door wider, showing him the stack of cash tucked safely in the bottom, under the articles, the memories, the pictures, and the note.
His eyes went wide, but he quickly composed himself. “Autumn. What is that?”
“Insurance money. My brother insisted we take policies out on all of us. I was the beneficiary. He made sure of it.” I gave him the best smile I could manage. I wasn’t sure what the hell else to do. I had never actually admitted it out loud. With nothing else to hide, I grabbed the note and handed it to him, reading over his shoulder.
Please know you did everything you could. This is not your fault. I can’t continue like this. I can’t pretend everything is okay.
I know what he did to you last week. He has done it to me for the last five years. I can’t take it anymore, but you are stronger than me.
I want you to take every penny you can and leave, Autumn. And know in the bottom of my heart, I am at peace now. And you will be too when you get away from him.
I am sorry. I love you.
An eternity passed before I realized I’d fallen. I was on the floor, holding my knees to my chest as sobs wracked my body. I hadn’t shed a tear until this moment. I had compartmentalized and promised myself I could grieve when I made it. I deserved to get my life together for Kaleb. If I didn’t, his sacrifice would have been in vain.
Strong arms scooped me up, laying me on the bed. He lay beside me, rubbing my hair, kissing my cheeks, telling me it wasn’t my fault. It was what I’d needed all along. To just break the fuck down; to not be okay, but have someone in my corner, telling me it would be eventually.
Eventually my sobs turned to whimpers, and the soft cries turned into nothing. I stared at the ceiling, emotionless. Liam lay beside me, staring up, his hand wrapped around mine.
“I’ll never know the truth,” I finally said, breaking the silence.
“I’ll help you in any way I can.”
“He was better, Liam. He found a counselor. My mom would drive him there every week, so I know he went…and he was on medicine.” My voice broke mid-sentence. “He was better.”
Pushing the hair from my forehead, he placed a soft kiss there. “I went through my ups and downs when I was dealing with the accident. I fell off a few times…”
I nodded, understanding what he said. “But why would he take my mom?”
; “I don’t know, baby. That’s something you’ll never know,” he admitted. That was the worst part, really, not knowing a damn thing.
“Why not me?”
“He knew you were strong, Autumn. He knew you could take whatever life threw at you.”
“I wasn’t always,” I said, adding a sad laugh to soften the blow. “I grew up in a trailer park, Liam. I was made fun of my whole life. My parents were addicts. I worked two jobs after school to provide for Kaleb. I just wanted us to both leave and go to college…to have a chance. We were both leaving. That was the point of everything I went through.”
“That makes you the strongest person I know,” he said. His words soothed me, but I sat in silence, thinking, trying to solve the missing puzzle. “But you don’t have to be anymore, you know?”
I laughed once without humor. “I don’t know how else to be.”
“Be happy,” he said.
I stared him straight in the eyes. His gray eyes were watching me, gleaming with sadness. “I am. More than ever.”
Lifting my hand, he kissed my knuckles tenderly. “I’ll help you get some answers if that’s what you need, Autumn. I’ll never give up.”
I chewed on my lip, nervous. “I can’t call the local authorities.”
He leaned up, propping up on his elbows. “Why?”
I shook my head, terrified to admit this, but relieved to have someone know. “I think I’m sort of…I’m a missing person.”
The color drained from his face. “What are you running from, Autumn? Tell me right now!”
I sat straight up, confused by his sudden outburst. He matched my movements, watching me intently.
“My dad…” I shook my head, confused.
“What did he do? The letter. Is that true?” His pupils were dilated, and his nostrils flared.
“He didn’t know about the insurance money or that I was going to school. I didn’t do anything bad. I just wanted to get away from him,” I explained.
He took my hands in his. “No, baby, no. I didn’t think you did. But Autumn, I need to know. What were you running from?”
The Autumn Leaf Page 14