Elena
Settling into my new normal routine was easier than I thought. I was spending more time driving home than I thought, even spending some nights in my old apartment just to avoid going back to an empty townhouse.
“Where have you been all week?” Kate questioned as I walked into the spouses meeting Thursday evening.
“Staying with my parents for a few days. I’m heading back tonight though.”
“You are pretty lucky to have your family so close by.”
“Yeah there are some downsides to that too.” I laughed.
“Hey, I have to go shopping tomorrow, want to join me? Daniel used to go with me and going alone just sucks sometimes.”
I nodded; I probably did need some groceries for the house.
“Awesome! I’ll meet you there at ten.”
We took our seats and for the next hour or so listened to other spouses talk about their issues. This one thinks hers is cheating, this one believes he is cheating with a guy; another doesn’t want to be a military spouse anymore. Another person couldn’t be prouder of her husband and just wanted to gloat. It was crazy to hear the different stories, the different types of people who were all connected by one thing.
I drove back to Hinesville. The townhouse looked just as it did when I left this past weekend. It still felt a little strange being here without Travis at night, but each night it got a little more bearable.
I shuffled up the stairs and into the bedroom after I was sure all the doors were locked. I got comfortable, turned the television on and tried to relax as much as I could.
The next morning, I was up earlier than I needed to be, so I took my time getting ready. My body really had no idea what type of schedule to stick to.
When I got to the commissary, Kate was already there and waiting by her car with two coffees in her hands.
“Good morning,” she said as I shut my door and walked around to her car. She held out a coffee to me.
“Morning,” I mumbled as I took a gulp of coffee.
“Is it one of those days?” I asked her as we began to head in.
She nodded.
“Any plans for this weekend?” I questioned, grabbing a cart and following her through the doors.
“Actually, I was thinking of going to this dog adoption fair tomorrow morning.”
“Dog adoption?” I questioned.
“Yeah, they have a bunch of dogs that need to be adopted because the shelter is running out of space. So, they hold these fairs. Basically, they run all the checks they need to while you are there. I figured with Daniel out of the house, I could use a bit of extra company at the house.”
I stopped in my tracks and thought about it for a second.
It wasn’t a horrible idea. It would definitely get me out of the house every day. Maybe even meeting new people so I’m not constantly running home all the time. Kate and I could spend more time hanging out if we both had dogs to walk.
“Mind if I tag along?” I questioned.
“Not at all!” she exclaimed.
“Elena is that you?” a man's voice came from behind us in the aisle.
Kate and I both turned around to look at the man who looked vaguely familiar to me.
“Can I help you?” I asked.
“You're Elena Dawson, right?”
“It’s actually Elena Brown now, but yes.”
“Don’t you remember me from high school?” he questioned, smiling.
I thought back to my high school days, but for the life of me I could not place who the man was.
“No, I don’t, I’m sorry. High school was a bit of a blur for me.”
“Timothy King.” He pointed to his last name on his uniform.
Once he said his name, I recognized him immediately.
“Oh, hey. Yeah now I remember. We had chemistry together, right?”
He nodded, “What are you doing here on post?”
“My husband is in the military,” I answered.
“Oh, you're married now?”
“Yep. That’s how my last name went from Dawson to Brown.”
He nodded like I had just slapped him in the face.
“Well congratulations. I better get going.” He spun his cart around and headed toward the registers.
Kate and I both turned back to our own carts and continued down the aisle.
“He seemed a little…strange,” she whispered when we were more out of earshot.
“He is,” I whispered back.
We rounded the corner and I stopped to face her.
“He was very weird in high school. He had a huge crush on most of the girls in my class.”
“What teenage boy doesn’t have a crush on most of the girls?”
“True, but they don’t write love letters almost every day leaving it on all the girls’ desks.”
“That sounds sweet.”
I shook my head, “Not when he threatened some of us in them. They could not actually prove he did it, so he didn’t get in trouble. We all knew who it was though. Plus, his parents are loaded so he got away with a lot.”
“Wow.”
I nodded. We continued to shop. The more I thought about, the more excited I got to go to the adoption fair tomorrow.
When I got home, I sent Travis an email telling him I decided to go check out the adoption fair with Kate. He wanted me to get a dog before he deployed, but I wasn’t ready. I guess now I was.
The doorbell rang and I skipped over to grab dinner from the driver, but no one was on the other side.
I shut the door again and locked it behind me. I knew I was tired, but I didn’t think I was that tired.
The next morning, Kate met me at the house, and we took Travis’s truck so we could have more space if we needed it.
“So, is there any particular type of dog you are looking for?” I asked her.
“No, just looking for one that I think might be right for Daniel and I.”
I nodded. Good point. I wasn’t only looking for a dog for just myself, but Travis as well. I hoped he liked whoever I got.
I pulled into the parking lot that was already filling up with cars. We headed over to the pavilion where sign in was.
“Good morning ladies,” the man said from behind the table.
“Morning,” we said at the same time.
“No real rules today. Just walk around and see if any of our furry creatures catch your eye. If you find one you think you may want, have a staff member take them out of their kennel or pen and you can interact more with the dog. If you decide that you want him or her, let the staff member know so they can start your paperwork. It takes about thirty minutes to go through everything.”
He handed out the little brochures that had more information about each dog in it.
We nodded and walked past him to the sea of dogs, big and small, all over the place.
There was so many that I just wanted to start adopting the entire place.
The one that really caught my eye was the guy in the back, practically by himself.
I scanned through the brochure to Ace’s page.
He was a pitbull/lab mix and was brought to the shelter after his owners moved without him. He was only ten months old!
I told Kate I’d be right back as I walked toward him. He immediately perked up and wagged his tail.
“Hey boy. Why are you stuck over here all by yourself, huh?” I said to him as I held my hand to the kennel he was in.
He licked my hand through the bars as I sat there and talked to him.
Almost an hour passed, and I realized I had spent all my time over here.
I stood up, said goodbye, and turned to leave.
Ace cried. That’s when I knew, he was meant to come home with me.
“I’ll be right back. I promise.”
I walked up to the first staff member I found and told her I wanted Ace.
“Are you sure you want him?” she sighed.
“Yes.”
“I noticed you
didn’t even check out some of the other dogs, do you want to maybe come back and see if there isn’t another one you want?”
“No. I want him. Is he claimed or something?”
“No. He’s just slightly aggressive toward a few of us.”
“Well he wasn’t toward me.”
“Is there a problem here?” the man from registration asked, walking up to us.
“No,” the staff member was quick to say.
“As a matter of fact, there is. I would like to adopt Ace. This lady seems to think he’s not an acceptable adoption.”
“He’s part Pitbull…” she said.
“And your point?”
“Well most of them are an aggressive breed.”
I held up my hand to stop her. “All breeds can be aggressive, it’s how you raise the animal.”
“I’ll get you started on Ace’s paperwork. Christina, can you please go help the young man looking at Toby?” the man cut in.
She quickly walked away.
Kate walked over to me while I was filling out the papers.
“Did you find one you liked?” I questioned without even looking up.
“Yes.”
I stood up straight and faced her. She was smiling with a leash attached to her hand.
“Wow.”
“Yeah, he’s a mastiff. His name is Gunner.” She beamed.
I laughed. “Well I’m just waiting for this paperwork to go through so I can take Ace home with me.” I turned to the puppy who was wagging his tail in his kennel. He was getting a home that he deserved.
We stopped by the first pet store we saw and took the dogs inside with us. We picked up all of the essentials and then some, because who else could we spoil?
When I finally got Ace home, I walked him around the house and then took him out back. Thank goodness our townhouse came with a fenced in yard. Ace ran around the yard and I could tell he was happy. My heart broke a little as I thought about him not getting adopted if I didn’t go.
I laughed as I grabbed my ringing phone from my back pocket.
“Hello.”
“Hey darlin’.” Travis’s voice came from the other end.
“It is so good to hear your voice!” I squealed.
Ace stopped in the yard for a moment before running around again.
“You too. How’s it going? I don’t have long. Did you get a dog today?”
“Things are good. And yes! I’ll send you some photos to your email. His name is Ace. He’s a pitbull/lab mix and he’s still puppy.”
“He sounds perfect. Everything else is good though?”
“Yes. How are you? How’s it there?”
“I’m good. It is fine here. Hot as hell, but so far, so good.”
I nodded even though he couldn’t see me.
“Your grandparents are good, I checked on them this week when I was home.”
“Thank you. Listen, I have to run, we only have a limited time to chat. I’ll email you soon. I love you!”
“I love you too,” I said back, the line went dead, and I felt sad again. It was almost easier not talking to him. Hearing his voice just made me miss him even more.
“Come on, Ace. Let’s go in,” I called to him. I got comfortable on the couch and Ace came to snuggle with me.
***
Several weeks passed and Ace seemed to be making himself right at home. Kate and I went out almost daily for walks with the dogs. My parents hadn’t been by and I hadn’t stayed the night at their house. I couldn’t do that to Ace and honestly, I didn’t want to. I liked coming home to Ace every day.
Especially lately. Every time I went onto post I felt like I was being followed by someone and I couldn’t shake the feeling.
Chapter Twelve
Travis
Being deployed was different than the training that I went through. Things were harder, the heat made me tire faster and sometimes I felt like I just couldn’t catch a break.
We drove across the street to the next base where we were briefed on everything we needed to know. The normal. Here’s what you’re looking for. Here’s what you are doing, and this is your ROE.
To anyone else it seemed like a lot, and sometimes to me it felt that way too, but I always was able to get a handle on it quickly.
We loaded up in the strikers and headed out on our mission for the day. In the middle of the day. The worst time to actually be leaving on a mission, but here we were.
Our squad was dropped off at the observational post, only the unit dropping us off didn’t know exactly what building it was. A local national showed us what building it was and unlocked the door so we could get in. That should have been our first clue shit was going to go sideways. We cleared our way to the rooftop and secured it. The sun was beating down on us and I could feel it.
We had several others set up on the main road for overwatch that was usually targeted for IED’s.
Everyone was in position, doing their jobs as normal; noting the cars that lingered in the areas, and cars that traveled back and forth up the main roads multiple times. Those were the ones you needed to watch the most.
A few hours went by and it was chow time. No time to leave our mission and eat, so it was MRE’s for us. They had a unique taste, one that was never acquired, but when you are hungry, you ate anything.
A single gunshot rang out sounding close, causing us all to stay still in place.
I started to hear guys yelling, “I’m good!” to let everyone know they are still okay.
“I’m good!” I yelled looking around I didn’t hear Andrews yell anything. Neither did Daniel who was right next to me.
When he didn’t say a word, we both rushed over to him. We checked his vest for any damage from a bullet. My first thought was that it hit him in the chest and knocked him out, but there was nothing. Nothing on his arms or legs either. I grabbed his head and checked his helmet. The first place I should have looked. There was what looked like concrete dust on it, but that’s when I saw the blood. It came in a wave rushing out of his head.
We pulled his helmet off and bandaged his head as quickly as I possibly could.
“I need QRF to our location now! We have a man down!” I just barely heard our squad leader yell.
Daniels helped me move him from the roof to one floor down so we could assess him for other injuries. It also gave me time to rebandage his head.
Daniel and I lifted his body up and carried him down the rest of the six floors to the ground where the quick reaction force was waiting.
I stood still and watched as the Humvee drove off into the distance with Andrews inside. My stomach twisted into knots. I wasn’t the praying type, but in that moment, I was hoping that he would make it out of this.
We waited for our ride to come get us and take us back to the post across the street from ours so we could be debriefed.
I stood there next to Daniel covered in Andrews blood, surrounded by the rest of our squad. My body ached; my head was pounding.
As they talked, they kept telling us that Andrews was doing well. My body relaxed a little. He was going to be okay.
It took a little more than three hours for them to get everything straight before they allowed us to go back to our own post.
We ran straight to go see Andrews but were stopped.
“I’m sorry,” was all that came out of the soldier’s mouth.
I barely had time to think before the platoon sergeant came by and insisted we hand over all of our guns. They were sending us all to see a grief counselor. Like that could make this any better.
I sat in a circle with the rest of my squad listening to this guy ask us questions one by one.
“How does it feel, Brown?”
“What?” My voice was raspy from the yelling.
“How does it feel having your dead buddy’s blood on you?”
I shook my head, no answer that I had would be good enough for this guy. Nothing he could say could change the way I was feeling. And nothing that was g
oing through my head would be acceptable to say aloud.
“I need an answer,” he said.
“Right now, I have no answer for you.”
The session ended and we were all able to go clean up. I grabbed my stuff, not saying a word to anyone and headed for the showers. I stripped down to nothing and stepped into the stream of water. I cried. I stood in the stream of water and let my emotions out. I was angry and hurt. Good thing it was dark outside, and I couldn’t see well. I knew the blood was coming off my body but seeing it would have just been too much.
Why in the hell couldn’t they prepare us for this? Why did I switch places with him? That part stung the most. Just minutes before he got shot, Andrews and I were told to switch places. He died instead of me. It should have been me. I should be the one being sent home in a wooden box right now.
When I got back to my bed, I didn’t want to do anything but sleep.
“Hey man, you up?” Daniel asked, standing at the bottom of my bed.
“Mostly.” I sighed.
He took a seat at the bottom of my bed and we just sat there in silence for a few minutes. I don’t think words could really place what we were feeling. It was the first friendly casualty we went through. And to make matters worse, it was a guy we had grown to know well. His wife spent time with Elena and her friends. Right now, they were probably notifying her of his death. I shook my head because I couldn’t bear to think about this more.
“Can’t sleep?” I asked Daniel.
“No. I want to. My body wants to, but damn my mind won’t let me.”
I shook my head, even though he couldn’t really see. “Me either.”
We just sat there and chatted a bit here or there, but mostly sat in silence until he decided he was going to crash.
My mind finally stopped long enough for me to actually fall asleep.
***
Weeks passed and we were in a new routine. Another soldier was sent to take Andrews' place, so we were a full team again and weren’t borrowing soldiers from other units. We were right back on mission the day after, and right back into routine. It was like it never happened, but we all knew it did. Protocols were gone over again and again so we didn’t have another death.
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