by Tara Hart
I hear her sigh heavily as the rain settles into a light drizzle. It’s that annoying type of drizzle that doesn’t require an umbrella but is enough to soak your clothes. I look down at my sweater, the material clinging to my skin.
“You should take that off. You’ll catch a cold.” She gestures toward my sweater
I slip it over my head, letting it fall to the wooden boards beneath us. Savannah lifts the blanket in the air as if it’s weightless, letting it fall over my body, covering my legs up to my chest.
“Thanks.” I smile, but she just stares into the nothingness, her face stoic, void of any emotion.
Yet another sigh leaves her lips. “I know this is my fault,” she says simply.
Her comment surprises me. Of all the things she could have said at this moment, an admission of guilt is not what I was expecting.
“What is?”
She exhales. “The way you’re acting. I’ve caused this. The paranoia, the misplaced trust, it’s my fault and I know that, but I can’t change what’s happened, Jared. I can’t make my sister disappear.”
I shake my head. “I’m not asking you to.”
For the first time, she looks at me. Her eyes meet mine, even in the dim fairy lit night, I can see how clear her eyes are. It’s as if she’s having a moment of clarity and I’m here to discover the truth that she’s been waiting to unveil.
“You think I do everything Selina says because I want to…because I believe the web of lies that she spins. Well, I don’t.”
I don’t know where this intensity is coming from—this unrelenting need to tell the truth, but I don’t interrupt. Savannah needs to say this and I’m willing to listen.
She clears her throat. “I agreed to this whole charade because I owe Selina everything. I owe her my life.”
I turn my body to face hers, the chair starts swinging again, but I dig the heel of my boot into the ground to halt us.
“Tell me,” I plead. “Tell me what in the world you owe your sister. What does Selina hold over you?”
She swallows roughly, her green eyes glistening in the subtle light.
She purses her lips as she ponders on the words. I can see the debate playing out on her face. She’s torn between loyalty and lust and I hope for once she will truly choose me.
“She saved me, Jared.” Her voice breaks as she says my name. “Selina saved me.”
“How?” It’s always confused me, Savannah’s undying need to please Selina.
I know I can’t force it, I can’t draw the story from her mouth any sooner than she’s willing to tell it. Instead, I wait patiently for each word to pass her lips.
“Dean,” she starts. “He used to…he had his issues and he used to take them out on me.”
“I know,” I say. “We all knew, Savannah. I could see it on your face whenever you were together.”
I reach for her hand, but she pulls away from me. She doesn’t want to be touched and I need to learn there are lines I cannot cross with her. Especially now.
“He used to hit me,” she says, the color leaving her face. It hurts her to say it aloud. It pains her so much that she can’t even look at me.
“He would hit me in places no one else would notice.” She pauses for a moment, her lips trembling as she relives the torture that I wish I could have saved her from.
“I was weak, mentally and physically. After so many years of being torn down by him, I didn’t have the confidence to fight back. I thought I deserved every single bruise that didn’t even have time to heal before the next beating.”
We all knew that Dean was a fucking bastard. It didn’t take a genius to see the telltale signs of abuse. The degrading way he spoke to Savannah, the way she would tense up every time he entered the room. The way she played on his every desire without batting an eyelid. And yet, Dean always wanted more. The signs were there all along—it was just none of us wanted to see them—least of all me
Savannah blinks back the tears. “He was so sweet at the start. He was the nicest man I’d ever been with. He loved me, he worshiped the ground I walked on, until one day, he just snapped.
“Nothing was good enough. When I cooked it was too salty, when I dressed it was too slutty, when I talked to other men, I was being too flirtatious. Everything I did was wrong and he made sure I knew it.”
I look at her face, searching for the remnants of that weak and tortured woman. I don’t see any semblance of that. I see a strong, independent person. If only she could see the same thing.
She looks at me, her cheeks moist from the tears that run freely from the corners of her eyes.
She pulls her knees tight against her chest, her body visibly shaking, but I don’t comfort her, I don’t even offer her a word of reassurance. For once, I exercise patience, letting her talk when she wants to and pause when she needs to. Savannah is teaching me how to be a better person, without even knowing it.
“At first the abuse was verbal, but it didn’t take long to turn physical. He’d hit me in places that people wouldn’t see and once he was done hitting me, he’d hold me, soothing me with his words and a sea of kisses. It’s like he had to break me to fix me all over again.”
Fresh tears fall down her cheeks, the weight of her secret bubbling to the surface.
It’s fucked up. There are so many questions I want to ask and yet I find myself unable to speak, mesmerized by a story that I never knew existed.
“I thought I could do it,” she continues. “We married so young, I thought he was my soulmate and I thought I could push through and make him love me for who I was.” Her voice becomes hoarse, but she doesn’t stop pouring her heart out to me. “I told myself that the next day he’d be patient again, but as more time went by, the wish for his undying love faded. I was never going to be good enough for him.”
She pauses, mesmerized by the rain that shows no signs of letting up. Instead of watching the rain, I look to Savannah. This poor broken woman who I adore sits before me, telling me of another man who didn’t appreciate her love—her purity. It makes me sick to my stomach.
She takes a sip from her mug and clears her throat. “This one day, I stayed at the gallery late, hanging paintings and drinking wine with Marc, and Dean showed up unannounced. His hands were already clenched into fists, his eyes wilder than I’d ever seen them. He wrapped his hand around my wrist and dragged me out of the gallery. I asked him what was wrong, I begged him to tell me, but he just threw me into the back of his car and drove home without uttering a single word. I don’t think I knew what was coming. Maybe I was in denial, but I believed he would never go too far. He would just release his anger and then it was over, but not this night. When he threw the first punch, it didn’t even register that he’d hit my face, but then the second blow came. I tasted blood in my mouth, the metallic tinge like a bad dose of reality. I had no idea how I’d let myself become that woman.”
Fuck. My own fists clench instinctively. If I ever cross paths with that motherfucker, he’s a dead man.
“I don’t know how many times he hit me. I blacked out soon after. One of my eyes was swollen closed, the other barely opened a sliver. The next thing I knew, Selina was there, her arms enveloped me as I sobbed uncontrollably.”
I wonder why Selina never told me this story. We were married at the time and she kept the horrendous details from me.
“I reached into my pocket and called her when Dean started punching me. I knew this time was different. Dean was arrested and I never saw him again after that night. When he needed to pick up his belongings, Selina was there, making sure he only took what was his. When the restraining order was issued, she was there to shield me from the abuse that had him arrested once again. When the divorce papers were ready, she arranged for him to sign the paperwork. She was there, Jared.”
“Savvy,” I say, my tone merely a whisper. “Tell me,” my voice cracks as the words tumble free. “Is this what Selina is holding over your head? Is this the reason you think that you owe her y
our life?”
She nods her head yes. “If she didn’t come, if she hadn’t called the police, I might still be married to him.” She pauses. “Or worse.”
She averts her gaze, but I can still see the moisture rise to the surface of her eyes.
“Don’t cry,” I whisper softly.
She shakes her head as if it will make the tears disappear.
I don’t give a fuck about boundaries anymore. I wrap an arm around her shoulders and draw her close to my chest.
“You don’t owe Selina anything,” I whisper. “She was being a sister. She was doing what every other sister would do—including you if the situations were reversed.”
Savannah relaxes against my chest and it feels good to have her in my arms again.
“Everything you have is because of your own hard work and dedication. You’ve done this—you created this life,” I say quietly. “You don’t owe her anything, Savannah.”
She swallows hard. “She saved me.”
I shake my head, my hand coming to cup the side of her face. “No, sweetheart,” I say quietly. “You saved yourself.”
Chapter 19
She falls asleep in my arms, completely exhausted. The emotion of the evening got the better of her.
“Thank you,” she murmurs as I carry her to her bedroom, placing her down on a bed of cushions before gently slipping her body beneath the cool silk sheets. Her eyes open for a second, her green gaze focusing on my face, a soft smile making its way to her lips.
“Stay,” she whispers as her fingers brush against my skin.
So I stay.
I stay all night, but sleep evades me. I can’t stop looking at her. Each time her chest rises and falls, I breathe a sigh of relief. She’s fine, she’s safe. Nothing will happen to her under my watch. I won’t let it.
My fingers run against the inside of her wrist, my eyes are drawn to a small raised line on the side of her arm. It’s the tiniest scar, but it captures my attention. I wonder if he caused it. If during one of his beatings he scarred her skin for eternity.
Fuck. My jaw clenches at the thought.
“Sleep.” I look at her face, but her eyes are closed. She knows I’m looking at her because her lips turn into a smile. “You need to sleep,” she says, her eyes parting slightly.
I swallow roughly. It’s like swallowing back the emotions of the previous evening. “I’m not tired,” I tell her.
I take her in my arms and wrap her up with all the security I can offer. Pressing a kiss to the crown of her head, I exhale.
“I’m so sorry, Savvy,” I mutter after another kiss. “I’m so sorry for everything I’ve put you through—everything you’ve been through.”
She relaxes in my embrace, her body becoming limp as I hold her close.
She smells good. Her cherry blossom shampoo bringing my senses to life.
Pulling away, she looks up at me. “I don’t want to do this anymore, Jared. These games are killing me.”
Her lips begin to tremble as I reach between us, brushing the pad of my thumb against the curve of her lower lip.
I nod my head. “Then stop playing games, Savannah. You can stop any time you want.”
She closes her eyes as she holds back tears. When she opens her eyes again, they’re focused on my face.
She slips her leg over my body, pushing herself up to straddle me. Pulling on the hem of her T-shirt, she slips it over her head, revealing her perfect breasts, her nipples taut and ready.
“Savannah,” I breathe.
She looks down at me, a coy expression gracing her face. “Yes?”
She doesn’t know it yet, but last night changed things between us. Our relationship went to a whole other level.
I feel as though I should wrap her in cotton wool to ensure no one ever touches her again, but that’s not what she wants from me. Not now. She wants something else—something more.
As she chews on the corner of her lip, it makes my cock twitch and rise to attention. Her lips fall apart, they’re pink and plump and so damn kissable.
My hands reach forward, my finger brushing against the bow of her lip, before falling down her chest. I cup each of her breasts, caressing them in the palms of my hands before gently squeezing each of her cherry red nipples. Her legs tighten against my hips, her pussy rubbing against the bulge of my cock.
She leans forward, her hair tickling my chest as her lips come close to mine. She kisses me hard, taking my breath away and breathing it back into me at the same moment.
“Are you sure?” I ask because I always know how to kill the mood.
“Make love to me,” she mutters as she trails kisses down my chest, her tongue flicking against my nipples.
I grasp her hips and flip her so she’s lying flat against the bed. She giggles as I toy with the elastic of her panties, pulling them down her legs and over her feet.
“Now yours.” Her toe flicks the band of my briefs, prying them away from my body with her foot. I lift onto my knees and pull the briefs from my body, flicking them to the floor.
I hang above her, kissing her lips like a hungry beast, unable to satiate my hunger. I lift her hips to meet mine, my hands grasping her thighs. I’m hard and ready, rubbing my cock against the smooth curve of her pussy. Her eyes hover closed as she arches her back.
“Please,” she murmurs.
I smile to myself. “Please what, Savvy?”
She peeks at me through her lashes. “Give me what I want,” she whispers. “What I deserve.”
I chuckle lightly as I watch her hips leave the bed. Dipping my head, I kiss the valley between her chin and her ear. A soft moan escapes from the back of her throat and my dick twitches in response.
I press my knee between her thighs, letting the pressure build within. Kissing a line down her neck, my tongue slowly devours every inch of her heaving breasts.
“Oh, Jared.” She runs her fingers through my hair, tugging at the tips in time with each flick of my tongue.
I watch as her expression changes. Her eyes roll back in her head as her back arches off the bed. I move up her body as I reach between us, my thumb coming to massage her bud as I bite into the flesh of her shoulder.
“Jared,” she says breathlessly.
She’s mine. Her body submits to me as soon as I touch her. Her skin heats beneath my touch, her whole body inclining towards me as if she can’t get enough.
“I need to be inside of you,” I say as I dip my head between her folds.
“Jared,” she moans as I ease myself inside. Her fingers grasp the bulge of my biceps, her nails digging into my skin.
“Fuck,” she murmurs when I fill her completely.
Her hands move to cup her breasts and she bites into her bottom lip as I pound into her. I watch as she pinches her own nipples, making them rise to attention.
Her moans are piercing, that’s how I know she’s close. I can sense the climax building by the way her hips rise off the bed.
The air hisses between my teeth as my breathing intensifies. “Fuck, Savvy.”
I hold off my own pleasure, making sure Savannah is completely satisfied before I blow my load.
Her breathing hitches, her moans softening as she clenches around me while she orgasms. The weight of her climax reverberates through my body. My own release coming as I shoot my come deep inside of her.
I collapse on top of her instantly, pressing feather light kisses to her forehead and cheeks. She tastes like sweat and me.
Eventually, my body falls to her side. I drape my arm over her middle as we lay next to each other, naked and tired, but completely satisfied.
She turns onto her side, propping her head up to look at me.
“No more lies,” she says, holding her finger out to me in anticipation of a pinky-promise.
I take her finger in mine, it’s hardly a binding agreement, but the gesture is enough to convince me.
“No more lies,” I agree.
I lick my lips as I look at her face. Sh
e seems much more relaxed now, which is both comforting and concerning. I’m about to shift the mood from relaxed to intense in the time it takes me to utter one sentence.
Here goes nothing.
“Selina’s lawyer responded to my offer.”
“He did?” She looks genuinely surprised.
I nod my head. “She accepted my offer, but there’s one condition.”
She rolls her eyes before prompting me to continue.
“She will sign the deal if I agree to never see you again.”
Her face falls. She’s upset. I can see it in her eyes, but she doesn’t let on that my news has upset her.
With a forced smile, she clears her throat. “So that’s what you’ll do, Jared. It’s the only way you’re going to come out of this mess reasonably unscathed."
I shake my head. “But I’m not getting the one thing I really want.”
She rolls onto her back, her eyes focused on the ceiling. She doesn’t want me to see that she’s upset, but I can hear the tremor in her voice.
“You don’t want me, Jared. I’m a liability.”
I prop myself up on my elbows as I look down at her somber face.
“There’s no way I’m accepting that deal.”
She shakes her head as her eyes fill with unshed tears. “Why, Jared?”
“Because, Savannah, it’s always been you.”
Chapter 20
She looks away from my intense gaze, the truth too much for her to take in. But she needs to hear the words that I’ve wanted to say to her during all of the years I spent living a lie.
“It’s always been you, Savvy,” I repeat the words because it’s time she knew the truth—the whole truth.
“The day I met you both—the day I went home with Selina—it was you I wanted.”
She looks confused. “You and Selina were all over each other,” she says. “I was there, Jared. I saw it when I visited her the next day. You were still at her apartment. You wore nothing but your jeans and a smile. You couldn’t take your eyes off of her.”