“That I can do it to everyone else? And you think I’m going to side with the evil, forgetting our good.”
My shoulders slump as I sigh. “I just don’t want you to let this power go to your head and you forget that you’re not what they are making you to be. Not a monster, not a knight, not a tool. You’re Nathan.”
“And that’s what you see,” he finishes. “I’m fighting for you. And you’re fighting for them. We know you won’t let me make the wrong choice.”
Nodding, I say, “I won’t.”
Part III
Dive
Nathan
The issue with my mother’s knowledge is, though she knew there were barriers I couldn’t cross, and restrictions over me, she never told me I shouldn’t. I was taught to be cautious. She thought that was more important than telling me never to mate. It’s impossible to never mate. What fate wants, fate gets. Maybe she knew that. But maybe she knew something else too. Something she’s left out of the dos and don’ts.
From birth, my father has tried to kill me, but not just for me being Burdened, but because of what I can become. If I’m greater than a Burdened Sephlem, some kind of knight for the Qualm resistance and for the people, that’s a new one for me. I’m not interested in being a hero to anyone.
So, which is it? The Seeing of Death, or this white knight? These are likely the choices they’ve been talking about. Had this been just over seven years ago, I’d opt to hold every being’s life in my hands. To call shots on their lives with the snap of my finger. I would’ve loved that kind of power. To sway a feeling and rob anyone of their free will to do as I saw fit, to live as I pleased. I would’ve given my life for that kind of ability. Now, though, life is too precious. And knowing what it feels like for someone else to pull the strings of my life and for someone else to give me life, something so fragile shouldn’t belong to a man so selfish. It shouldn’t belong to someone whose focus in life is power. I don’t crave power to that extent. I don’t want it.
So, I’m a knight. A warrior for a greater good. Shit. . .
It’s time for a change.
I flip the hourglass over and hold it in my right hand. What Tracey saw as sand are souls, tiny bodies mourning, falling through the center, hanging onto the one above, all fearful to land. They don’t belong to anyone, they’re more so for warning, reminding me of what I really am. Death. I am a beast that requires his mate to become a king, maybe a god even, who has the ability to make or break anyone. I consider smashing it.
Brayden sits beside me on a couch in the living room of my mother’s house.
“Whoa!” he exclaims. “That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!” he reaches for it, and I pass it to him. My first instinct is to warn him to be careful, but a little damage may do it some good.
“What do you see?”
“Everything,” he whispers. “The sand’s the colors of the universe. It even sparks with stars and meteors.” He turns it over and spins it around. “It just keeps going.”
“It’s magic,” I admit. “It shows you the answers to your unknown questions. Answers are your greatest desire right now. You want to know why something would come and turn your world upside down, so, your response is the answer to the universe. Only a higher power would know why the Qualms attacked your town first, why they’re trying to invade our world period, and why those things even exist.”
My response breaks the hypnosis the hourglass has on him. “Are you going to do anything to help? I know you can. I see it in you. After what you did today, you’re probably able to do anything. Like, save everyone.”
“What you see in me is confusion and misunderstanding. Not a hero.”
“Not a villain either. You saved me from those things in my old neighborhood. Someone with that kind of power to blind eyes and change minds shouldn’t sit on it. They are taking over the world and you can stop them. So, stop them.” His shoulders jump in a shrug.
“What if stopping them cost the price of something you loved?”
Brayden hands back the hourglass. “A million people are in love with someone at this very moment. They are at risk of losing their loves any day now, depending on how fast those things are moving. Is your single love greater than a million?” Leaving, he adds, “You don’t seem that selfish. But that’s a hard question to answer when you’re battling for something like love. Maybe, instead, a battle for life.” He nods, “Life will have more chances at love than love alone.”
I shove my hands through my hair and mutter to myself. “If I were required to let go of Tracey at the cost of saving others, that is life, she is love. And I only get a chance at it once.”
Feeding on Tracey did something to me. I knew it would. But it’s heightened me beyond my knowledge. It’s advanced me and there’s no more denying who I am. What I am.
I’m going to do something. I’m going to take down the Qualms, Lunis, and my father.
Wake Me Up
Nathan
The sun breaks light across the sky, and the birds bring me back to life from a horrific sleep. I’ve fallen asleep outside for the second night in a row, and for the third morning in a row, Tracey’s gone.
The last few days, I’ve given her some space, leaving myself available for when she wants my company, though I crave for hers. And she has a few times, but as much as things have changed for me, they’re changing for her too. I sense she’s different.
I find her at the neighborhood park, swinging. She feels my approach before I’m a foot to her. I’m so connected to her, the rush from her high swings and the heavy wind encases me as if I were in her place on that swing. Her feet drag in the sand to stop herself. I take the swing beside her. “What you doing?” I ask.
“Just hanging around. Can I show you something? I woke up this morning and didn’t want to bother you with it. But, it’s been creeping me out.”
“What’s up?”
Tracey gets off the swing and takes my hand. She pulls me with her to the center of McCranbury Street. Closing her eyes, she clutches my wrist and brings my hand before us. My palm presses against a smooth, hard surface. It’s invisible. I push against it and bring my free hand to join. “What’s going on?” Everything looks normal, but it’s as if a glass wall is before us, in the middle of the street.
“Wait,” she states. “Watch this.” She digs in her pocket, grabs a rock, and throws it in front of us. It flies down the street, unaffected.
I stand, too stunned to understand. Stepping back, I throw a fist forward, but Tracey catches me by the arm. “Slow down, Rocky. You’re going to hurt yourself. Focus. Will a greater sight.”
I breathe and drag a sleeping ability to my mind’s eye. Without needing to tap into Tracey, my vision blurs and with little effort, it clears though slightly differs in shade.
“Tell me you see this?” Tracey asks, desperation making her heart speed.
I scan the replica of a familiar neighborhood that’s dreary and tarnished. Bathed in a shade of blue, it’s the sun shining an unusual blue hue that bleeds this color onto the land. The homes are built of wood logs instead of brick, and some have gold ribbons tied around their doorknobs while others are black.
To Tracey, I mutter, “Yeah. I see it.”
“Remember the invisible wall? Now try.”
I lift my hand but press against nothing, and I step forward, leaving my world behind. “Okay. What the hell is going on?”
She shakes her head. “I wasn’t able to do that. I could just see it. I was hoping you could, and it’s working.”
I extend my hand, and she follows me through. In the middle of nothing, an oval window-like space looks to where we just . . . entered? Around it waves, slowly, like water, just as it did back at Amelia’s.
For a while, we roam the deserted streets paved with dirt and debris as we creep in the town’s silence, shooting daring glances at each other when one of us breathes too loudly. We keep our eyes open for anything and anyone. A piece of me is hoping somethi
ng tries to attack us.
It’s difficult to tell the time of day with the blue-hue-sun stagnant in the sky, half rose. We crossover familiar streets, those with names the same as home. The neighborhood looks nearly the same, just a block over, with houses made in today’s economy. It’s when we make it to our house that we finally stop. Beyond the house, the lake that should be here is dried up. We enter with a simple push against the door.
It’s empty.
Oddly, it feels safer to speak when Tracey pushes the door closed and turns the lock. “Where are we?”
“You got me.”
There’s a knock.
Tracey jumps and crosses the floor to me as she’s warming her hands and preparing her attack. Hand on the doorknob, she says, “Wait. I know that presence.” Hurriedly, she crosses the floor and rips the door open.
The man on the other side states, “You did it! You found him! I must tell everyone.”
“No,” Tracey whispers harshly. She yanks the man in the house and shuts the door. “Where are we?”
The deep brown man, dressed in gold, meets my eyes. His eyes widen with admiration. “We have waited a long time for you, Nathan.” He looks me over. “You don’t appear ready.”
“Somebody tell me what’s going on,” I demand.
“This is Karthik,” Tracey says. “He looked more human the last time I saw him, but I didn’t believe he was.”
He’s a Qualm, but like Chislon, dressed in a gold robe.
“I was a passer. I’ve now repaid my debt and am no more. Please.” He motions to a couch in the nearby living room, near the front door, like the home Tracey and I shared.
“Welcome,” he starts. “This is our world—realm of the universe, one you’ve been lucky to avoid. You’ve arrived on a lighter day. But, I presume you’ve come to set us free?” He claps once and smiles. Though Chislon’s face was covered, Karthik’s is not. With wide brown eyes, a large nose and big lips, he looks human.
“Set you free from what?” Tracey asks, clasping her hands in her lap.
“Our hell. We desire to be equal, as others who have lived among your earth are. You have come to break the barrier between our realms. You have come to set us free.”
Tracey shakes her head, saying, “If there is a barrier, it’s there for a reason. And we have no intention of breaking it.”
“No disrespect, Sight. However, that is not your call. Please,” he requests. “Allow me the opportunity to show you some things.”
Tracey and I nod and follow him from the house.
On the other side of the neighborhood, where corner stores and motels line the street, Karthik gives us a tour of their run-down city. “I miss the breeze,” he says, dragging the back of his hand across his sweaty neck. “There’s never one here.”
“I’ve noticed,” Tracey utters, flapping her shirt by its hem.
“You see,” Karthick starts, “it’s the same but major things are different.” He points across the street to a couple sitting on the curb, one clutching the other in their lap. They cry for the other to hold on, but by the looks of their limp body, there should be no hope for life. “Our people are dying.”
“People,” Tracey retorts. “You’re calling these Qualms people?”
Karthick shoots me a glance before accommodating a confirming smile. “We believe we should embrace our future in the way the hosts would express themselves. You would not say, the human race is dying. You’d say we are dying.”
“But, you’re not people.”
Karthick holds up a finger. “Not yet. But, soon, we will be. It’s been promised. We cannot live without the latching on to someone of life. We are made up of half the life humans are provided, if we could only secure another half, we can live a fuller life too. I see no wrong in that. We’d enhance our host as well. This is beneficial for everyone,” he says proudly.
“You’re stealing someone’s life!” Tracey objects. “That’s wrong.”
Karthick shakes his head and gives us a reassuring smile. “Not with Nathan,” he admires. “With him, without pain or decision, we can be inserted into another like that,” he snaps his fingers. “No one will feel any pain or discomfort. We will live among the living as required for our persistence.” He waves us onward. “See,” he points to a group of humans. They’re obvious to the eye, without cloaks and their internal desire to rise against the Qualms and take back their world. Humans cower in the shadows and as we pass, they try to hide their faces.
Down a sidewalk in a rundown overpass crowded with homeless humans, one grabs Tracey’s wrist. I race to her side, ready to turn the aggressive son of a bitch into nothing. “Please,” he begs. “We’ve been banished because we choose not to abide by the new ruling. Don’t hurt us any further. We’re only human.” He takes a knife and is prepared to cut his arm to prove it.
Tracey squats down. “Don’t.” She looks over at the boy sitting beside the man dressed in rags and sandals. To him, she asks, “What’s your name?”
The boy grabs on to his father’s arm. Hiding behind it, he whispers, “Fred.”
“You’re hungry, Fred?”
He eagerly nods. “Father won’t allow us into the city.” He points to another small group of four far behind them. Maybe his siblings and a woman who may be their mother. “It’s gotten too bad for people like us. I don’t want to die, so we go hungry. The weaker we are, the less they want us. They think it means we won’t last long.” Nodding, he adds, “They want the longer lasting ones.”
Tracey snags the last of our food from her back pocket. A granola bar. She hands it to the boy. “You don’t have to go hungry to stay safe. We’re here now,” she promises, and I doubt she knows what that means or what our being here entails.
Through two more small towns, it’s like this. Homeless humans cower in over ground sewers, abandoned underpasses, dark alleys. They don’t beg and do their best to avoid eye contact. Though vacant buildings crowd the town, they are residents to the streets.
The dreary sun’s falling beneath the earth and the warm air is starting to cool. In another small town, we stride the street and come upon a square. Unlike the places we’ve been before, humans cheer and dance in the town’s center. They don’t share the fear the others have displayed, and glee comforts their eager presence.
On my next step in their direction, their gazes attack me, and anxious smiles lift their faces. They cheer with pride. “Sir,” they call. “It’s been so long.”
I deny, “I’m not whoever you think I am.” waving my hand to keep them back.
“You have saved our ancestors once, and you will save us again.” A man with a gray beard and tired eyes steps before them. “If you choose not to help us here, they will come to your world and you will become like the humans here. Your people will beg to be left alone, depriving themselves of the goodness from the earth as not to be desired by the evil that takes over the land. They will be gods to your people and you will be to blame.”
A girl tugs at his long robe. She whispers in his ear, “Just because he looks like the white knight and answers to the same name doesn’t make him the person who is on our side. We must be careful with him as well. Remember, behold, a pale horse, and its rider’s name was death, and hell followed him,” she recites. “Don’t give away too much. Should he choose the other side, he’ll use it against us.”
“We won’t,” Tracey speaks up. “We won’t use anything against you.”
I shake my head, backing away from the growing crowd that’s pointing and aweing. They go on and on about how I’m finally here to save them, how I’m supposed to make sure no one else suffers the wrath of the Qualms, how I’m to risk everything for them.
“Sparks,” I call. “We need to go home. I can’t stay here.”
Tracey takes my hands in hers. “You’re shaking.”
“Just get us out of here.”
With a stealthy concentration, she blinks and we’re back in our colorful town. Now the sun’s setting
, casting rays of color over the streets and houses. Tracey rubs my shoulders. “You okay?”
“How could you promise those people we would save them? We don’t know how to do that,” I tell her.
“But we can’t just stand by.”
“I’m not saying we stand by, but before we go getting people’s hopes up, we need to be sure we can accommodate those promises, Tracey.”
She matches my step at my attempt to walk around her. “We are obviously designed to do something. I just wanted to let them know we would at least try, Nate. Sometimes people need a little bit of hope just to hang on another day.” She shrugs. “I wanted to give them that little bit just to hang on.”
I wrap my arm around her shoulders. “It’s okay. I’m just not sure. It’s a lot to have people staring at you like you’re their savior. I don’t want that. I get that we need to help them, but can’t we do it under the radar where people don’t want to touch me.”
“We’ll figure out something, Nate.” She gives me a smug smile. “We discovered something new today.”
“We did. Next we need to find out how to help.”
Just My Soul Responding
Nathan
In the bed of my truck, Tracey and I lay out blankets and lie beneath the sky. Her head is on my chest, and I run my fingers over her curly hair. “Sparks?”
She tightens her hold on me. “Hum?”
“What if helping those people means we have to give up this? You and me.”
Tracey sits up on her elbow and rests her chin on my chest. A gentle tug on her brows barely brings them taut, but her eyes show concern for the meat of my question. “How do you mean?”
“I think, for me to stop the Qualms, I’d have to do it without you.”
Finite: A Dark Paranormal Romance (The Sephlem Trials Book 4) Page 36