by D. H. Quinn
“I thought we had an understanding.” Her tone is deeper than normal. “You do work for me, I keep you in the city, out of harm's way. If that isn’t enough for you then we could send you back out there. You are corrupted they would feast on you! Would you like to see them?” She asks. She stands from her chair, her eyes wild as she approaches me. She places her hand on my head and I am unable to move. The dark edges slowly entrench on my vision, as if they are crawling towards the center of my eyes. I attempt to open my mouth to scream but nothing comes out. Stop, I want to yell. Stop, I will do whatever you say, I scream inside my head. Nothing comes out of my mouth and Jack intends to do whatever she wants without interruption.
I have pushed her too far. I should have known by the fear on everyone’s face. I had chosen to push her for Arden’s sake. I did not want to say that my day off was his fault that I lost a day because of him. I thought because Arden had a day off maybe it would be an acceptable excuse for me as well. But I forgot I am human, nothing is acceptable for me. They hate me, they hate my kind.
The darkness takes over my eyes completely and I cannot breathe. A pain in my temples erupts and I should fall over but my body is no longer mine. A bright light covers my vision and then clears. The outside of the wall is visible. A shroud of blackness sits at the bottom.
I surge towards it against my will. Mares, oh God the shroud is a conglomeration of Mares. The one with the plastered-on smile is present. Four others, all rather large in size each with their own unique features, large eyes, sharp claws, the stuff of nightmares mill about. As I get closer they freeze and look up at me, obviously aware of my presence.
They tilt their heads back and forth as they examine me and I finally stop floating down, just inches above their reach. They swat at me, attempting to grab me. I flail my arms and legs trying to escape but I am held firmly in place. One of the creatures emits a noise somewhere between a gurgle and cry.
They turn around and I follow their gaze to see a small child figure stroll out of some trees. Its hair is long, dark and wet and covers most of its face. Its skin is tinged blue and covered in swollen looking splotches. Long scraggly nails decorate its hands, some ripped clean from the nail bed.
The plastered-on smile approaches her and puts out its hands. The figure easily steps on top of them and then balances cautiously. The smile lifts his hands up and places her on his shoulders. They walk back over to me and the others give them room. Up close I see that water drops roll down the creatures skin.
Jack I understand! I want to scream and cry. Fear grips me deep in my gut. The small figure stands up from the smiling man’s shoulders and stands on his head. Its arm reaches for me and a startling burning occurs where it touches me. Water rushes in my body. I open my mouth and a stream of water gushes out. The flow travels up my nose and I cannot breathe whatsoever.
I come to in Jack’s office. I cough and gag and still spit water out but I finally feel the end of it. Once my fit of coughing finishes I glare at Jack. “You understand now or should I put you back?” She asks, a cruel smile on her face, it reminds me of the smiling Mare.
I turn my face to expressionless, controlling the hatred, fear and anger rolling through me. “I understand. A day off won’t happen again.” I bow my head.
“Good, now get out and tell Aleksander to come clean this up.” She dismisses me with a wave.
I do as I am told. Aleksander looks at me solemnly and does as instructed. Garrett is completely unphased and I wonder about Jack and his relationship. Garrett has no fear of Jack.
Garrett looks me in the eyes and wipes at his mouth and nods at me. I take the hint and shakily reach up with my sleeve and wipe at the drool that drips down my chin. He nods and marches out of the office and I follow him. I attempt to coyly wipe at the tears that are falling down my cheeks all eyes from the cubicles watch me.
Here I was again, the real me. I tried to put on a tough act, able to handle anything and take on any task. But the true me was a coward, never able to handle confrontation or any level of aggression for that matter. I just tended to shut down, never able to defend myself. I am ashamed. But anyone would have been terrified! An optimistic voice screams inside me.
I say nothing to Garrett for a while until he breaks the silence built up between us. “You don’t have any more questions?” He sounds smug.
“No.” I shake my head.
“She got you good then.”
“Has she ever done that to you?” I ask but quickly regret it. It is suddenly raining outside and I can’t help but think that the storm is a result of the Mares’ anger for my escape. I try to shake the thought out of my head. The rain pelts me and I automatically picture an umbrella which appears in my hand. I shakily grip it closely to me. Garrett pulls his hat up over his face as cover but I do not feel pity for him. I have to remind myself that he is not my friend. I should not show courtesy towards him.
Garrett shrugs, “I have not been so lucky but I have seen her do it.”
“Can all of you do that?”
“No. Jack is one of the oldest dream walkers around that we know of, at least in this city.” I am questioning him again but I can’t stop it. My mind is uncontrollably curious.
“Is she really that because someone mentioned she reminded them of,” I stop talking, knowing this could only get Arden in trouble.
Garrett glances back at me and shrugs, “Only dream walkers and Mahrts were in this city, and Jack has been around forever.” I want to say I know there was other humans here. I saw one and I read about one but Garrett lies so casually I decide against it. He probably brought them here like he brought me. He had me enthralled in the beginning, I had followed him into the city, desperately wanting to know his story. Now, I want to get away from him. I begrudgingly help fill another house and when I am finished, I awake to the real world.
I turn off my alarm that brought me too. I take an extra short shower, not liking the feeling of the water running down my face. I remember the Mare with the long stringy hair and cannot help picturing it if I even close my eyes momentarily. My dog whines a bit at me, sensing something is wrong but I reassure him with a few pets and some comforting words. While eating breakfast, I check my emails, hoping the person from the blog has responded but no luck.
Maybe it would be better if I left the city. Maybe I could escape the Mares. They were waiting for me. A voice in my head says and a shiver runs down my spine. They won’t let me escape and they would pursue me indefinitely. Jack had said they take from humans spiritually but could I really believe anything she told me. Whoever heard of humans being hurt from dreams or nightmares even.
I feel a bit down and slightly terrified but otherwise am my normal self. I easily get through my workday and stay focused. There was nothing I could do and maybe working for Jack in my dreams wasn’t so bad compared to what I could potentially experience. My mind makes my experience less real than it felt as the day goes on. It was just a dream, I repeat to myself feeling calmer after each passing moment. I am proud that I am able to disassociate myself from it finally but the realness of that world comes back that night when I go to sleep.
I wake up at the boys’ house, sitting on the couch. Loud little voices sound from up the stairs. “Kamari is here!”
“She is?!”
“Miss, you can’t just come into our house,” one of the boys says who I hadn’t seen much of yesterday. His little face is cross and I almost want to tease him. I built it!
“It’s all right Christian,” Brian says, “she built it for us.” Christian nods and heads back upstairs. Brian wears one of the new outfits I provided along with a baseball cap.
“Hey Brian, sorry for the intrusion, I just woke up,” I say and then catch myself. I always say I woke up here but really, I had just gone to bed. I have to change my thinking to become less enraptured in this world. This isn’t a place I should be.
“Hey Kamari, rematch?” He smiles mischievously.
“Yeah, let
me just call Garrett or Arden or whoever my handler is today,” I say with an eye roll. Brian nods and runs to set up the Foosball table.
When Arden shows up and gives me a friendly smile, I gently wave at him. He looks oblivious to the change in my state of mind. He rambles on about what he did yesterday and I do not give it much attention although I had been so curious yesterday. “That sounds like it was fun,” I say politely. More intrusive disturbing thoughts run through my mind.
“It was. It was amazing so what did you do yesterday?”
“Built the interior of some houses, nothing fun. Visited Jack in her office,” I add in an attempt to gain a reaction. He just continues walking. “I was questioned about my day off,” I say and Arden finally looks back at me, his eyes wide with fear and curiosity. “And I did not mention what happened but I did get a tour of the outside of the city’s walls.”
“Oh! I am so sorry!” I see the genuine sympathy in his eyes.
“We made a promise. I did not break it. I just do not need to be on Jack’s bad side ever again.” My feelings soften.
“Yeah, I try that all the time. It works decently,” he smiles.
Some of the city folks eye me warily. If Jack heard that we were just standing around after what she did, she may become angry with me once again. Then again no one had informed her about the bridge and the pit when there had been more than a few witnesses. Maybe the city people did not like her much. The thought gives me hope.
“We should get going,” I say and Arden nods and leads the way once again. I have been through so many streets but still could not find my way around. The routes we take feel random and some would change as a result of a void.
Arden informs me that we are in fact heading towards a neighborhood that had been terrorized by a void for a while now until the void suddenly disappeared. “What do you think they are?” I ask Arden as I overlook the now destroyed buildings in startled fascination.
It reminds me of a post-apocalyptic city that would be created for movies. The walls of the buildings are tall with large cracks crawling up the side. Sprouts of overgrown plants appear over the sidewalk and in the buildings. Some buildings are completely flattened in a mass of concrete, glass and dust. The street is empty of any dream walkers or Mahrts.
“No one knows really. Could be a human or Mare thing, but it also could be a natural disaster as you all would put it. I saw a tornado once with a human. Do they really pick up cows?”
“Yes, but only if it is strong enough and mostly in the movies.” Arden shakes his head sadly.
“I thought you said they were changed after a void?” I ask, shifting back the conversation to the disaster in front of us.
“Not always and not quickly. This one destroyed some lives for sure and this neighborhood is important so, Jack wants it fixed.”
“How long was the void here?”
“A week or so,” he shrugs.
“That’s disturbing.” It must have wreaked havoc quickly. The right side of this street is mostly storefronts. A sign for a pharmacy lays discarded and cracked on the floor, covered in black sludge and dust.
“Do you all get prescriptions?’
Arden shakes his head. “No, we don’t need um.” His chest puffs up with pride.
Maybe for your anxiety you do, I want to mention but hold myself back. His world is dangerous and after my encounter with Jack I understand that his anxiety is warranted.
“Alright then, let’s make this something fun. Since you can’t have health issues why don’t we make this something out of my own wildest dreams.” I close my eyes and picture a candy palace, with sweets that never expire and replenish instantly. I open my eyes and see a large pink and white building now standing in the place of the once destroyed building. Two giant realistic looking lollipops decorate the entrance way.
“What did you do?” Arden exclaims but he seems more excited than nervous as his eyes glisten with wonder.
“Made something you all could use and very much enjoy.”
Arden rubs his hands together anxiously. “We can check that out afterwards but right now we should finish.” He glances back at the candy store eagerly.
“Of course.” I close my eyes once again. I picture a huge department store next door with all kinds of areas, including clothes from this century both mens’ and womens’ along with childrens’, and a rather large toy section. I picture a grocery store next door to the others. It is rather large with all types of snacks imaginable. All the stock that is in these stores automatically replenishes.
I open my eyes and beam at the rather impressive buildings I have now created. I picture the road revamped each piece of the street changes in a swiping motion. I add benches and lampposts as well. It comes out a bit cartoonish but still acceptable.
The buildings across the street look to be about six stories tall. I picture cozy, livable apartments. Each more unique than the other, I give special details and decorations that I think the residents would enjoy. It takes a while and it is exhausting but I keep on going as inspiration to create consumes me.
When I am done, I examine the buildings in front of me. The apartments look great, mainly their little balconies, with hammocks, plants and other sorts of items. “Looks good.” Arden echoes my thoughts.
“Who is going to live here?”
“Dunno. Jack will be picking some people soon I am sure but some previous residents had lived here before.”
“You think they will like it?”
“I am sure they will love it. Now about that candy store,” he grins mischievously. We walk inside and find two workers, one male and one female, both with a friendly smile. “Kamari did you?” Arden begins asking and stops, clearly stunned.
“I might have.” I look over the two dream walkers. I pictured everything needed for a store and I might have just included them unconsciously.
The female worker approaches us then. “Welcome to Kamari’s Candy Palace. Anything I can help you find today.” Her voice is cheerful.
Arden sticks his hand out and pokes the worker’s shoulder. “Please do not touch me,” she says in the same tone.
“She’s real,” Arden whispers to me. “You created dream walkers but in the city and with a role to play.”
“Is this bad?” I ask.
“It’s fine so long as they stay in the store. But if they start wandering about the city and are still stuck in their roles then Jack may have a problem with it.”
The worker walks back to her spot, just a few feet in front of us, and organizes some lollipops by color. “Should I try to get rid of them?” I whisper to Arden.
“Of course not!” The suggestion offends Arden. He looks at my face, reading the panic on it. Jack is going to be pissed that I created them, especially if they are stuck in one role. “They exist now, it would be wrong to do so.”
“I get that. I will make them a schedule, they love their candy shop but they also love each other and go home to one of the apartments across the street. They will have a life outside of this.” The thoughts run through my mind.
“Can you do that?”
“I think so.” My heart finally starts to slow down. I stare at them and picture their wonderful life together. I see the rings pop onto their fingers and then I see the flirtatious grin the man gives the woman which she happily returns.
“It worked! I might need to go to the other stores and check for staff but let’s grab some candy first.”. I end up grabbing a chocolate bar with almonds and a handful of bubblegum. Arden grabs some mini jawbreakers and one giant pixy stix. We run to the department stores and grocery stores and find employees at both and I perform the same task on them, making them have relationships and happiness outside of where they work.
When we exit the last store, we find that it is dark outside. Arden sits on the bench and pops three mini jawbreakers into his mouth. I sit next to him and eat the last half of my chocolate bar. “I can’t believe you can do that!” Arden’s eyes are dazed
.
“What’s that?” I ask as my brain feels fuzzy from all of the creation I did.
“Change us, change what we want and how we live.” My mind clears a bit and I realize this is existential for him. Maybe it made who he is seem moldable and to some extent less important.
“Maybe I could change their lives because I created them. I made them almost like a blank slate and just rounded them out,” I suggest.
“I don’t believe that is the case, look at me, change something about me.”
“I don’t know.” I look down at my hands, shaking my head.
“Just do it.” Arden does not budge.
“Fine,” I say and I picture his hair transformed into a giant cotton candy without the stick. It appears instantly on his head and I laugh hysterically.
“What? What did you do?” Arden’s energy shifts back to nervousness. I picture a decent size mirror with a handle but because I am laughing so hard the mirror comes out squiggly and the reflection is somewhat distorted. Arden grabs the mirror away from me, and spots his hair immediately. “I look ridiculous!” Arden says in a high pitched tone. I burst out in laughter harder.
“Wait,” Arden reaches up to his hair and pulls out a pink striped piece. He puts it in his mouth. “It’s quite good,” he smiles. He then reaches across the top of his head and pulls the rest off. Thin colored wisps are intertwined with his red hair.
“That’s not what I meant. I want something about me changed personally, my personality or whatever.”
“Why do you want that?” I ask. This is not a good idea.
“Because I must know how it feels to have the ability to change.” His voice is pleading. What is it about Arden that makes me weak? In some ways he reminds me of myself, anxious, unconfident, cowardly but I didn’t like that about myself. In other ways he reminds me of a puppy, one that may have been kicked too many times and is trying to learn to trust. I want him to trust me.