by Fiona Miers
A smile formed on her lips as she recalled the place where Carson would climb through from his late father’s estate into hers and she approached the wall. She reached out her hand, not in the least afraid of what might be lurking inside the vines of ivy and foliage. Her fingers ran along the wall until there was a large gap. With her free hand, she grasped the vines and ivy and yanked them to the side, or at least, she attempted to. She yanked on the vines, but there was something that kept them from moving. Baffled by this, she gave up her plan and made her way along the wall until she reached the hedge. Only two windows were illuminated by candlelight, but neither was Carson’s bedchamber. A strange feeling in the pit of her stomach surfaced as she wondered if he was still with Lady Violet.
Lizzie cringed at the thought and kept moving. As she continued to walk, she heard faint voices coming from the other side of the hedge. Lizzie was not going to eavesdrop on anyone’s conversation, but as she peered over, she saw something she’d feared ever since Carson informed her of his meeting with Miss Violet.
Lizzie’s stomach lurched when she saw Carson and Miss Violet nestled cosily on a wooden bench – the same wooden bench she and Carson had spent countless afternoons on. Miss Violet spoke, of course, and Carson merely listened. Unfortunately for Lizzie, she could not make out what the foolish woman spoke of, but Lizzie was certain she was either complaining of something, or she was speaking of herself.
Anger rose inside her as Miss Violet provocatively placed her hand on Carson’s arm, and he allowed it. Warm tears stung her eyes and she pursed her lips. She could no longer watch any of this.
So, she spun around and stomped back to the gate, wiping tears of anger and frustration from her cheeks. She didn’t understand why she felt this way. Why would her feelings for Carson surface when she was aware he didn’t reciprocate them? His nonchalance with regards to Miss Violet’s hand on his arm had infuriated her even more as she stomped along the side of the manor house, not even wishing to re-enter its suffocating confines.
Her chest tightened as she imagined Carson marrying Miss Violet and tears spilled down her cheeks. Her knees buckled from under her and she slumped down against the wall of the manor house, sobbing softly.
She placed her hand over her mouth, as she didn’t wish for anyone to hear her and she stayed carefully hidden in the shadows. She allowed all her emotions to be expelled from her body.
She couldn’t simply burst into uncontrollable sobs every time the duke and the duchess mentioned either Carson or Miss Violet. Lizzie merely needed to keep herself composed, not to raise any suspicions.
She drew in a few short breaths and wiped the tears from her cheeks. She hoisted herself up into an upright position and proceeded to walk back to the door from which she had left. She stepped inside and made her way through the dark hallways. As she passed the duke’s study, she noticed the candle flickering inside. Lizzie stepped closer to the door and saw her brother sitting at his desk, intensely studying a book.
Lizzie stood in the doorway and knocked on the door. The duke immediately glanced up at her. “Sister.”
“What are you still doing up, James?” Lizzie asked, remaining in the doorway.
“There are a few things that require my attention. Also, I am researching something I am not familiar with,” the duke answered.
“Can I be of assistance??” Lizzie asked.
“It is rather technical, and I am fairly certain it will not be of any interest to you,” he answered. “Why are you still up at this hour?”
“I couldn’t sleep,” Lizzie muttered and leaned against the doorframe.
“And it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that Carson has a lady visiting him at his home?” James asked with a knowing smile.
Her shoulders tightened. “Does the entire world know of this?”
“Carson spoke with me earlier, before he left.”
Lizzie’s shoulders relaxed and she cocked her head. “He did?”
“Indeed. He wished to apologize for returning you home in the foxed state you were in, but he assured me that nothing untoward happened. I was already aware of that, of course. He wouldn’t allow any harm to come to you, or your reputation. Carson is most certainly a proper and honourable man. One of very few left in this world,” her brother explained.
A dreamy smile formed on Lizzie’s lips and she pressed her head against the door frame. “Truer words have never been spoken.”
The duke glanced at her and his brow furrowed. “I was under the impression that you would be upset over the fact that Carson is meeting with another woman.”
Lizzie immediately straightened her shoulders and composed herself. “Why in heavens would I be upset?”
“Because he is spending time with a woman who is not you,” the duke stated flatly.
Lizzie giggled to hide her grief and shook her head. “I couldn’t care less about what Carson does. He is free to spend his time with whomever he pleases.”
Her brother glanced at her apprehensively, clearly not convinced Lizzie was being truthful.
“Do not gaze upon me in such a manner. I am not upset.”
“Perhaps not,” the duke shrugged. “Jealous, maybe?”
Lizzie laughed bitterly and shook her head once again. “Jealous, of Miss Violet? Please do not insult me any further!”
“Lizzie, I have known you your entire life, and I am well aware of how you feel about Carson. It is only natural—”
“I do not feel anything for Carson. You are mistaken. He is my friend and I am very fond of him, but his choice in whom he wishes to marry is solely his own.”
“Who spoke anything of marriage?” the duke taunted her. “There is nothing wrong with being jealous, sister.”
“I am not jealous,” Lizzie uttered through gritted teeth.
“Not even slightly? You are the last Seymour sibling yet to marry,” the duke stated.
“I am well aware of that fact, James. You don’t need to remind me every chance you get! I have accepted the fact that I will probably never marry. Why can you not do the same?” Lizzie exclaimed.
The duke stood from his chair and held his hands up in defence. “There is no need to overreact, Lizzie. I apologise for teasing you when you are in pain.”
“I am not in pain,” Lizzie defended once more, but a tear ran down her cheek.
James cocked his head. “It seems as though you are.”
“The only pain I am in is that of uncertainty. I am truly happy for you and Her Grace on the impending birth of your child, and I am happy for William that he found love with Emma, but when will I be happy? When is it my turn to find a man who makes all these terrible feelings of loneliness and anguish disappear?” Lizzie cried, desperation in her voice.
Her brother slowly approached her and opened his arms to her. She didn’t hesitate, but instead ran into his embrace, one of the few places she still felt safe.
As her eldest brother, James had always taken care of her, ensured that she was happy and safe. He’d even held her hand while she fell asleep at night when they were younger.
Lizzie had relied on him for comfort in her darkest days, and he was a hero in her eyes. The duke had defended her when rumours had spread about her and Lord Dorset, and he had vowed that he would continue to do so for the rest of his life.
Her brother was the only man she could depend on, it seemed.
Not even Carson fit that bill any longer.
Carson now had Miss Violet to care for and make happy.
The thought immediately made tears stream down her face and she sobbed in her brother’s arms. Much to her surprise and relief, he began to softly murmur the lullaby he had sung to her when she was afraid to go back to sleep after a nightmare.
The sound made her sob even more.
James’s heartbeat drummed against her ear, and it soothed her aching soul and broken heart. She relished in this special time with her brother. The duke had many things on his agenda and he barely had time f
or himself, not to mention spending time with his wife. He was spread thinly across all his responsibilities.
Lizzie didn’t hold it against her oldest brother. She understood that with the title came the responsibilities as well, but she missed this closeness to him.
She drew in a deep breath as the lullaby came to an end and she pulled out of his embrace. “Thank you. I truly needed to hear that.”
“Lizzie, you are my sister and I love you very much. I only wish for you to be happy, and if you are not, you can tell me.”
“I love you as well, James,” Lizzie expressed sincerely and placed her palm against his cheek. “I know you mean well, but there are some things you cannot fix.”
“I can attempt to.”
Lizzie smiled as she lowered her hand. “Always such a gallant man.”
The duke shrugged nonchalantly, which made Lizzie chuckle. “Perhaps I should turn in for the night. I am exhausted.”
“Sleep well, sister.”
“You also, James.”
Lizzie turned and as she walked to the door, the duke spoke her name.
“Elizabeth?”
“Yes?” Lizzie glanced at him over her shoulder.
“You are welcome to stay at the estate for as long as you need to,” the duke said.
Lizzie lowered her gaze for a moment before glancing back at the duke. “I would not want to impose.”
“My child is blessed with a wonderful aunt in you. Having you here would mean the world to me,” her brother said, sounding sincere.
A smile formed on Lizzie’s lips and she nodded gratefully before leaving the study. The smile soon disappeared when she couldn’t stop the tears of sadness from streaming down her cheeks once again.
Chapter Eight.
Carson stared at the plate of food in front of him, and even though he was ravenous with hunger, he didn’t have an appetite. After Miss Violet had departed Ferngrove Manor, he had spent the remainder of the evening evaluating his life, and he had decided on the choices he wished to make. He was in charge of his destiny, and he would not allow anyone to dictate to him which path he must take.
The evening with Miss Violet replayed in his mind and his jaw clenched. It had been a rather painful experience for him, not even to mention how much he had despised the person Miss Violet was. She was a young woman who was used to things going her way, and if they didn’t, she made it known to everyone, whether they cared to listen or not. She had both bored and agitated Carson to no end.
Footsteps sounded in the hallway and the maidservant entered. “Is the food not to your liking, Mr. Wallace?”
Carson cleared his throat and his shoulders eased slightly. “It is not the food, Sophie. It is delicious as always. I have merely lost my appetite.”
“Something serious must be wrong,” Sophie expressed, and Carson simply glanced at her.
Sophie had been with the Wallace family for many years and she seemed to know Carson quite well, especially when he didn’t eat everything on his plate.
Carson, like his father, had a larger than usual appetite. He’d been told by Sophie before that it was a clear sign, if either of the men had much on their mind of a serious nature, they left their food untouched.
“Of epic proportions, Sophie,” Carson answered and sat back for her to remove the plate from in front of him. “Please do not offend Charles and Judith. Their food is always stellar.”
“I will give your compliments to them. I am certain they will not be offended in the least,” Sophie stated. “I am available if you wish to talk about it.”
Carson sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair. “I do not even know where to start, Sophie. It is much too complicated for me to even arrange in order.”
“Does it concern the young woman who visited last evening?” Sophie inquired. “Judith thinks she should crawl back into the hole from which she came. Such a rude and uncouth young lady.”
Carson snorted with amusement and nodded. “Indeed.”
“As long as you do not think of marrying that horrendous woman, or I would be forced to leave, despite how much I adore you,” Sophie pointed out.
“I would never do such a thing to you, Sophie. I assure you of that,” Carson expressed with confident reassurance. “I will gladly choose you over her any day.”
“That fills me with hope, Mr. Wallace,” Sophie chuckled. “I hear that Lord William is returning home today.”
“Truly?” Carson asked and Sophie nodded. “Where did you hear this?”
“From Charles. He knows everything.”
“Clearly,” Carson chuckled. “I shall certainly stroll through to Woodlock Manor to welcome him home. It has been a while since I have seen him.”
“Perhaps you can re-open your secret entrance through the vines,” Sophia hinted.
“What do you mean re-open?” Carson asked with a furrowed brow.
“I overheard Miss Adrienne order Edward close the hole in the wall by tying the vines to the branches of the surrounding trees,” Sophie answered. “You didn’t know, sir?”
“No, I didn’t, but thank you for telling me,” Carson muttered and stood from his chair. “Do not fret, Sophie, I will not allow you or anyone else get into trouble. Adrienne is the only one who deserves a scolding.”
Carson stepped away from the table and left the parlour. He marched through the hallway and found Adrienne in the drawing room, piles of books stacked on the floor. All the books that were normally housed in the library had to be relocated to various rooms inside the manor house, and since their father’s collection was rather extensive, there were numerous rooms that were now filled with books.
“Brother, I was about to find you—”
“Why did you order Edward to cover the hole in the wall?” Carson asked, interrupting his sister.
Adrienne stared at him with a furrowed brow and cocked her head. “I beg your pardon?”
“Pardon me, sister. I was not aware that I spoke unclearly,” Carson retorted, and Adrienne crossed her arms. “Why did you order Edward to cover the hole in the wall?”
“It has been an eyesore for a long while, and I merely thought that since we are in the process of renovating the library, we could close the hole in the wall as well. The estate must be in pristine condition at all times,” she answered haughtily.
“Nonsense. You expect me to believe that it is merely a coincidence that you chose to have the hole in the wall closed on the very same day that you invited Miss Violet to join us for dinner?” Carson asked.
“What are you implying?” Adrienne inquired, her eyes narrowing.
“If you require me to say it out loud, then you are not as intelligent as you think you are, sister,” Carson stated.
Adrienne exhaled slowly. “I merely wished to eliminate any distractions that may occupy you.”
“Lizzie is not a distraction,” Carson defended.
“Of course, she is! She has always been a distraction to you, and she always will. You have spent your entire life running after her with doe eyes, doing everything for her. Protecting her when she does not need it! The woman is scandalous and does not deserve to be in your company. It will ruin your own reputation.”
“You think I care about what others think of me?”
“You should. Grandfather and Father spent their entire lives ensuring that the Wallace name was ranked as highly as possible, ensuring that we are well-respected, well taken care of,” Adrienne answered. “By defiling our family, you are disrespecting Father and Grandfather, and I will not allow that.”
Carson clenched his jaw together tightly, anger filling his gut. “Adrienne, hold your tongue! I am not disrespectful toward Father, or anyone else in our family. I am grateful for everything they have done, but I will not stand by and allow you to run roughshod over my life. I am a grown man, and I am free to make my own decisions,” Carson pronounced angrily and firmly. “Father left the estate to me, despite not being the firstborn child, and I can only imagin
e how unjust that may feel to you.”
“This has nothing to do with the inheritance, Carson. It has to do with respecting the family name,” Adrienne sighed. “I do not care that you inherited the estate, as long as you remember that this is my home as well.”
“I will never take your home from you, sister,” Carson muttered. “But you do not have the authority to order Edward to do things I am not aware of. That hole in the wall is important to me. Lizzie is a part of that.”
His sister’s eyebrows lowered, and her glare intensified. “She will always make an appearance in any conversation.”
“She will always be a part of my life, Adrienne, whether you like it or not,” Carson stated. “And while we are on the subject of women, I also wish to inform you that I will not spend any more time with Miss Violet.”
“Carson—”
“Were my words in any way unclear?”
“I heard them perfectly well, I merely do not understand why you are throwing a potentially good thing away for a woman who lifts her skirt for every other man.”
Carson’s fists clenched with anger. “You will never speak of Lizzie in such a manner again!”
Adrienne’s mouth fell open. “Why do you continue to defend that woman?”
“Because the tales of Lizzie are untrue. Lizzie is nothing like the rumours describe her to be,” Carson growled.
“And how do you know this? You say these words with such confidence.”
“Adrienne, I have known Lizzie for a very long time, and I know her better than anyone.”
“Of course, you do,” Miss Adrienne scoffed. “Or perhaps it is because you are in love with her.”
Carson froze for a moment and glared at his sister. “Perhaps I am, but that does not change the fact that Miss Violet is a spoiled young woman who doesn’t care for anyone except herself. She is disrespectful, unkind, and I cannot marry someone with such a cruel and vindictive heart. I cannot live my life with a person who cares only for material things. You, of all people, should be aware of my morals and ethics and she defiles every single one of them!”