I thought about Julie. I thought about how she might decide to burn Julie instead, and make me watch. Julie's screams sounded so real in my ear, until I finally closed my palms over them.
I picked up my phone, determined to call Julie, to make sure she was okay, then I stopped myself. Waking her up wasn't necessary. I was just overreacting, and scared.
But, as the seconds ticked by, and I continued to hear her screams in my ear, I texted her.
Are you awake?
It was a few minutes before she texted me:
Ever since you left :) What up?
I sat there, and stared at the phone screen. I touched a key, then retracted. I sat there with my hands shaking, and my mind reeling before I finally texted her back:
I need you.
It wasn't long before she texted me back again, and when she did, I jumped up and grabbed my keys and left the house as quietly as I could without waking Ava.
Julie texted:
I'll be waiting outside.
♥
And she was. She was standing by the curb with a blanket wrapped around her. She smiled as I pulled up, and got inside.
“You know, I think it's about time we snuck out. Damaged goods should get to be naughty kids sometimes too,” she told me, buckling herself in.
I laughed, and eased away from her house. “Any place in particular you want to go?” I asked.
“Nope. Just drive until you're ready to stop.”
I was sure she didn't know that I never wanted to stop. I wanted to just keep driving and never look back. I had her, and everything else seemed miniscule in light of that.
But I did eventually stop. I stopped when I realized I was on the same path Liam had lead me down. I stopped where the car had finally came to a stop, and then, and leaned back and drew in a deep breath.
Julie wrapped her blanket around herself, and she leaned over, laying her head on my lap. She looked up at me with a smile, her bare feet pressed against the glass.
“So, what's going on?” she asked me with that crooked smile of hers. Despite the angst and indecision I was feeling, her smile could always brighten up things.
I ran my hand over the skin of her head. It was smooth now. Not like sandpaper anymore. Just skin against skin, but it comforted me. Everything about Julie comforted me.
“My mother is being released,” I told her.
Julie's eyes widened, and she leaned up, scooting closer to me, without sitting on my lap. Her hand touched my cheek, and I saw real concern. I saw her worry.
“When?” she asked, her voice bewildered.
“A few days, I think. Ava wasn't really sure,” I told her.
Julie sat there for a moment, and I felt her fingers brushing over the burns. She caressed them as she always did when she wanted to comfort me. She knew she was the only person that could touch me.
No one else ever touched my scars. I wouldn't let them, unless it was a doctor thing. Ava had never touched them, and I was sure she didn't want to. I wasn't angry about that either. I never wanted to touch them.
But Julie, from the first time she had ever laid her fingers against my skin, she hadn't asked for permission. She had just done so, because she was Julie.
After that, I hadn't flinched when she touched me. I started welcoming the feel of her warm skin against mine. Her touch made me feel like less of a monster, and more of a guy.
She held a lot of power in that touch, and she knew it.
“You've never told me what she did to you,” she told me, meeting my eyes hesitantly.
“I've never told anyone really,” I told her. “No one ever asked.”
She didn't smile, but instead, moved her hand back, as if she were brushing back hair. Her eyes followed the movement, because she was nervous. “Would you tell me?” she asked.
I swallowed back, because I knew I would. It didn't change the growing anxiety inside. Five years of not saying a word, now to be broken by the bald, green eyed girl in front of me.
Because she could break me with a sweep of her smile.
“Our mom was a waitress by day, but at night, she'd meet up with guys and have sex with them. They'd give her money, so I guess you could say she was a hooker, or a prostitute. Ava was the one that took care of me until she went off to college. Ava was the only one that could keep her sane, and after she left, our mother went a little crazy.
“She would burn herself with water sometimes, taking a shower. After she'd go out, she'd burn whatever clothes she had worn, and she'd scrub until her skin was red and irritated. Ava always knew what to do, but I didn't.”
I leaned back, and couldn't bring myself to look at Julie. I focused in on the stars, staring at each one, and licking my lips.
“There was this one day, nothing special happened. I came home from school, did my chores, my homework, and I was watching TV when she came home from the diner.
“She didn't slam the door, or start yelling at me. I didn't even know anything was wrong,” I told Julie, finally looking at her. She just stared at me, her hand holding mine, her eyes doing the same. “She was gone for a while, and I thought she was probably just changing, or cooking dinner. But I heard the screen door shut, and I looked for her from the couch, but I didn't see her. I thought maybe she had to get something from the shed, or she had forgotten something out back.
“I got up, and I walked out. I called her name, but I didn't see her. I started walking to our shed, because the door was open. I made it two steps out of the house before she hit me,” I replied.
Julie, being strong, held me. Her arms wrapped around me, and they squeezed me tightly. I held her tightly, and I made sure I could continue without freaking out. I made sure I could tell her this without breaking down.
Julie moved back, and she kept her hands on my face, her eyes watching me as I continued. “I think she hit me with a shovel. That was what the police said, all I know was that when she hit me, I completely spaced out for a minute. Everything went black, and when I opened my eyes, she was dragging me into the shed by my hair. I tried to fight, but I didn't really make much of an effort.
“All I could really do was watch. She threw me on the ground, and then she doused me with gas. I could smell it so bad. I thought surely my blood was about to be replaced with it, that was how bad it smelled. I could taste it, and see it, and feel it.
“And then she lit a match, and she dropped it. I tried rolling, and I screamed, but it seemed like forever before someone finally but out the actual fire. I could still feel it though, and sometimes, when I go to sleep, I think I can still feel it.”
I licked my lips, but my mouth had gone completely dry. “The entire time, she had stood there and watched, like a robot. When they had picked her up, she didn't deny it. She went off spouting things about being unclean, and filthy, and they sent her to a facility where she could be monitored until she was well. I guess she's okay now,” I said, but the bitterness flooded my words.
I laughed slightly, feeling myself beginning to break. “I'm glad that she can be okay. You know? She can scar me and break me, and I have to live with it, but she can go to a padded room for five years and come out when she convinces everyone that she's not going to set her son on fire again,” I said.
My mind had convinced me that I was okay, but when Julie wiped a tear from beneath my eye, I realized I wasn't. I was angry, and frustrated, and ready to explode.
“I know that this all sucks,” Julie told me, her fingers caressing my cheek. “But she never broke you. You survived, and you came out strong, and beautiful, and perfect, and she will always be sick and cruel, and she'll have to answer for what she did to you,” she told me.
Her words, the ones that she used to make me feel better now, were the same ones I would have yelled about a few months ago. I would have screamed they weren't true, and she was lying.
“Don't worry about the things you can't change, Falon. I'll never leave you alone. We'll get through this and then all this pain wi
ll make sense.”
“I hope you're right.”
She smiled. “If not, you can hold me responsible.”
“You put me back together, Julie. You are the only reason I'm not dead,” I told her, touching her cheek.
She smiled, but shook her head. “No, just a piece in the complicated puzzle that is Falon Walker. God kept you safe, and He lead you to me, so we could be each others glue.”
I laughed slightly at that, and Julie used the opportunity to wipe away the stray tears that had fallen without my knowledge. She was smiling as she did so.
“I'm glad you texted me tonight. I needed you too,” she told me, and I reached forward to touch her face.
“What's wrong?”
She shrugged. “I'm not sure. I guess I’ve just been think a lot about something Liam said,” she told me.
I grinned. “Liam said something worth thinking about?” I asked.
Julie laughed and gave me a 'sure-whatever' shrug. “I was thinking about his idea of a road trip,” she told me, and when my smile faltered, she widened her eyes and quickly began rambling. “Just think about it. I'm not going to take anymore chemo so I'm just a sitting duck right now. While we're gone, I could really think about everything without my parents over my shoulder, or a doctor in my ear. I could actually relax, and see things that I've always wanted to see, just in case things come to an end.”
“Your parents would flip out,” I told her, hoping she was somehow joking, but by the grin on her face, that wish would go unanswered.
“And they wouldn't if they found out I snuck out to be with you tonight?” she asked. The question did make sense. “I'm tired of being held back. If we weren't damaged goods, it might sound silly and irresponsible, but I’ve never left this town. I've always been here, in a hospital, or a doctors office, or at home, and I want to see everything in case things don't work out. I don't want to know I could have packed a bag and driven away with you and didn't.”
I raised a brow. “You're really serious about this?”
She nodded.
“What about Liam and Hilary?”
She smiled. “You're actually considering it?” she asked.
I shrugged. “Just thinking. I don't know if I could leave without telling Ava, and I'm not sure if we could without telling your parents either,” I told her.
She shook her head. “If they knew, they wouldn't let me go. They'd find some way to convince me it was a bad idea-”
“It is a bad idea.”
She glared at me. “It is a wonderfully bad idea, and that's why I want to do it,” she told me, poking my chest. “I could wake Liam up, when you took me back, and he could get Hilary up. You could go home, tell Ava, pack a bag, and then pick us up,” she told me.
“All four of us won't fit in this truck,” I informed her.
“Liam and Hilary can make a nice little retreat in the bed. Or he could take his car,” she replied.
“You're really serious about this? Aren't you?”
She nodded. “Very.”
“And you think you could sneak in and out again?”
She nodded, and I saw the excitement welling up in her eyes. “You'll do it?” she asked.
I sighed and ran my hand over my eyes. “You'll be the death of me, Julie Michaels.”
♥
I drove her back to her house, my heart beating with a rush of adrenaline and fear. Julie left her blanket, and she kissed me before getting out and running back into the house. I sighed in nervousness and drove away, heading home.
I went inside and found Ava first. She was asleep, as I figured, but it didn't take much to wake her up. When I flipped on the lamp beside her bed, she started waking up.
“What's wrong?” she asked drowsily.
“I need your word that you're not going to tell anyone.”
That made her wake up quicker. She widened her eyes and stared at me. “Tell anyone what?” she asked, bewildered.
I looked at her. “Give me your word you won't say a thing until after,” I told her.
She looked at me with a dumbfounded expression. “What the he-”
“Your word.”
“Fine, fine, I give you my word, now what's going on?” she asked, sitting up.
I braced myself for her reaction. “I'm kind of running away.”
She started laughing, and when I looked at her, she covered her mouth and tried to stop herself. She obviously found something very funny in my statement.
I waited for her to control herself, and when her laughs turned into soft giggles, I raised a brow. “You good now?” I asked.
She nodded, and wiped her eyes. “Sorry. I don't think it's considered running away if you tell, Falon,” she told me, sighing in relief from the fit of giggles.
I smiled slightly and shrugged. “Julie's running away too. She's not telling her parents,” I told her.
Then, she raised a brow. “Okay? Why are you running away with Julie?” she asked. It only took a second for her eyes to widen and her hand to seize my arm. “You aren't eloping, are you? Please tell me-”
“We're not getting married,” I said, smiling.
For a moment though, I could see it happening. I could see Julie in a short, little white dress, a bouquet of flowers in her hand, walking toward me and smiling. Her head clean of hair, her face void of make up, and the only thing she was smiling at was me.
“Not getting married,” I said again.
Ava sighed in relief. “Good. I want to actually be there if you get married, or at least throw her a bridal shower or something,” she told me, smiling her weird grin. “So, why are you running away?”
“It's more like a vacation,” I said, looking up in thought. “It's just, we can't tell Julie's parents until we're gone because they wouldn't let her go. So I guess it's running away, or kidnapping,” I told her.
Ava rolled her eyes. “And I thought I was going to be lucky. At least you waited until after you were eighteen to start acting like a bad guy,” she replied.
I smiled. “It's just a few days. We'll come back,” I told her.
She nodded. “A few days. You know her parents are going to kill me,” she told me.
“Maybe. That's why you won't know where we are,” I replied.
“You won't tell me?”
“I don't even know,” I said with a laugh. “We're just driving. No destination, just wherever we end up at,” I said.
She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “I think a few days isn't long enough then.”
“Two weeks.”
“One week.”
“Eleven days.”
She considered it, then nodded. “Eleven days. I can handle that. Who knows, I might even spend those eleven days with Jesse, in bed, na-”
“I'm leaving now,” I said quickly, standing up. Ava laughed as I left the room to pack a bag.
“Falon?” she called out a few minutes later.
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
I smiled, zipping up the bag. “I love you, too, Ava.”
♥
I pulled up quietly toward Julie's house. When I did, They were both waiting outside. Julie had a single bag, and I found myself falling more in love with her.
My simple, little Julie. She needed nothing.
Liam had two bags, and he shrugged as I gave him a weird once-over. “I wanted to be prepared.”
I got out, and Liam brought her bag to the truck. He tossed in in the bed, and hooked the strap to one of the hooks in the bed. He smiled as he looked at us.
“So, what made you two change your minds?” he asked.
I looked to Julie who was shrugging as she grinned. “We are both spontaneous creatures, Liam. Ready for adventure,” she told him.
“She talked me into it,” I told him, smiling sheepishly.
Julie smiled and then shrugged. “And, today was the first day the Basketball lotto went my way. Tonight was the night!” she said, and thrust her fist in the a
ir like that over-dressed rebel in the Breakfast Club had done.
It became a thing though.
First, Julie. Then, Liam, and after rolling my eyes, me.
Because I guess we were something like the Three Musketeers, or the Plastics, or the Greasers. All for one and one for all, and all that other jazz.
Just call us the Damaged Goods, as Julie would say.
♥
Getting Hilary wasn't difficult. Apparently, Liam snuck out a lot more than anyone knew, and Hilary was accustomed to leaving her window unlocked and slightly open.
He snuck in as Julie and I sat in the truck. Liam had decided that he and Hilary would ride in the back of the truck.
“We won't be on the road the entire time anyway, because that's just driving,” he said, rolling his eyes. “And besides, an entire bed to myself, with the most beautiful girl in the world? Who could pass that up?” he asked.
We decided that Liam and I would switch out on driving too. So every time we stopped, we changed positions. Him and Hilary up front, Julie and I in the back. It seemed only fair.
“You sure you're okay to do this?” I asked her.
She nodded. “I'm great. I brought my pills in case I get sick, and there's always hospitals around if things get really bad,” she told me confidentially.
I smiled and leaned over to kiss her. The moment my mouth touched hers, she smiled, and pulled me in closer. I felt like two kids, running away, hopelessly in love and crazy.
So I was ready to go insane, as long as Julie was there.
A few minutes later, Liam was coming toward the truck, holding Hilary bridal style, and her bags on his arm. He got into the back of the truck, and Julie opened the back window, so we could have constant communication.
“Step on that gas, and let's go,” Hilary replied, and I turned to see both of them hugging each other.
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