by Robyn M Ryan
She picked at her meal, forced herself to eat a bit, and then took a glassful of wine into the large bathroom. She’d specifically requested a room with the spa tub, and she turned on the water, then added the complimentary basket of Lavender-scented flakes shaped like rose petals. She inhaled the aroma as she watched the tub fill. Lavender usually activated the calming and relaxation center in her brain. This wine doesn’t hurt either.
When she stepped into the tub and turned on the jets, she blanked her mind, concentrating only on her breathing. Soon, the realities of the day faded, replaced only by her concentration on taking slow, deep breaths.
She opened her eyes much later, not sure if she’d fallen asleep or into a trance. Either way, the cold water caused her to shiver and forced her from the tub. A sigh escaped when she wrapped the plush robe around her. Lauren knew then that her mind had calmed and sleep would follow.
#
Dave dropped his phone in frustration when his calls to Lauren went straight to voice mail. “Mailbox full” taunted him, and he’d left so many texts that he had nothing more to say. Shutting me out…embarrassed? Angry with me because the publicity from the gala caused the trolls to attack? Just need to know if she’s okay. He willed Lauren to call, text, post something so he’d know. He’d tried to send a private message to her through Facebook, but her account had blocked everyone, and her profile page gave only the minimum information. Good for you, squirt. Just wish you’d contact me. That you’d trust me to help you.
He had a pretty good idea of the gist of the taunts and attacks she endured. Caryn had filled in the blanks best she could through a brief text conversation. Like Caryn, he believed most of the posts came from jealous puck bunnies and nasty trolls looking for a new target. Some, however, included specific insults, referring to her life in Vancouver. Too personal to originate from any of the usual suspects. Some he responded to, knowing Caryn would censor anything inappropriate—most likely ninety-nine percent of what he wrote.
Andrew stopped by the room to deliver a message from Caryn.
“Lauren went to Vancouver, told Caryn she had to resolve her family situation.” Andrew shrugged before he continued. “She didn’t give Caryn her flight info or where she’s staying, but Caryn wants you to know she’s okay. Probably pissed. Mostly embarrassed.”
“I hope she is beyond pissed. She’s dealing with this, Chad. That’s good news. Will Caryn let you know…”
“If she hears from Lauren? She’ll call you, Martin. Caryn knows you’re worried. She said to tell you that Lauren probably needs space right now. She’ll surface when everything’s resolved.”
38
LAUREN AWOKE JUST as the sun lightened the room and she stretched, realizing she’d slept without dreams or ugly hashtags filling her brain. A new day. Maybe the worst has passed, and Caryn’s father has the clout to deal directly with the social media executives. She longed to call Dave, but she couldn’t drag him any deeper into her abyss. Best to put as much space as possible between us.
While munching on a room-service croissant, Lauren picked up her iPad and ran searches on all social media. Then Google. Although not as widespread as the previous day, newly created accounts continued to harass and imply her relationship with Dave was purely sexual convenience. She also uncovered more references to her misguided attempts to join the popular crowd in secondary school, tagging the derogatory terms she’d buried once she left Vancouver.
One post referred to the intervention of Child and Family Services, which led to her removal from the home. What the puck is that about? Why am I just learning this now? The post tagged her parents as #trailertrash, but that didn’t faze Lauren. Probably were. There must be public records somewhere that someone unearthed—unless it’s a lie?
She finished her orange juice as she navigated the Vancouver and B.C. government sites, finding public records from the year she thought she’d gone to live with Amanda. Nothing. She tried the following year without success and then found records showing that her family had had many home visits from Child and Family Services even before she was born. Why? Were my parents already flagged by the system? Maybe a history of domestic abuse or neglect? Amanda never mentioned this…did she not know? The order to place her in foster care came when she was three—that must be when Amanda and Trevor stepped in. How can I not remember that? Or had I already learned to block unpleasant memories?
Lauren backtracked to the original post, reported it, and requested its removal. She also sent a quick text to Caryn, giving her the case number and asked if her father could find some way to seal the records.
Caryn replied, even though it was still before dawn in Tampa. She promised to get the info to her father’s lawyer handling the smear campaign and mentioned that the lawyer thought she may have a case to sue for slander. Ugh! Last thing I want—more attention. Caryn had expected her response because she added that the lawsuit could help other victims of cyber-bullying who had no resources to fight back.
Something to think about later. A second later her phone pinged again. Caryn again. Marty wanted to talk to her. She also explained that she’d had to “reluctantly” block most of the responses he’d tried to post on social media, pushing back against the harassment. Her heart warmed realizing he’d defended her to the anonymous haters, but Lauren knew that Caryn had acted correctly. No need to pour more fuel on a—hopefully—dying fire.
Lauren saw Dave's string of texts but couldn’t allow herself to read them. This is my problem, not his. Marty doesn’t need to get involved. Stay far, far away, Marty…for your own good.
#
Lauren stood on the doorstep of the only house she’d ever called “home” and took a deep breath before pushing the doorbell. Several minutes passed, and she felt a sense of relief when no one answered. She turned to leave, and then the door flew open, and a flushed Amanda confronted her.
Lauren took a step toward her, holding out her hand. “Hi, Amanda. I wondered if we could talk?”
Amanda grabbed her hand and pulled Lauren into the house, then slammed the door shut. “Our phones have rung nonstop for over twenty-four hours. You refused to listen when I told you that actions have consequences. Getting involved with a high-profile athlete puts your life under a microscope and brings this embarrassment, not to mention shame to our doorstep. How do you suggest explaining this to Cassie? You obviously had a more active social life than we knew in secondary school. Now you’re experiencing the consequences—and it affects us, too. How dare you?”
“It’s not what you think. Please, just talk to me.”
“No. You’ve…”
A quiet voice interrupted. “Let the child speak, Amanda.”
Lauren followed the sound, and her eyes fell on an older woman. Her face appeared vaguely familiar, her frame slight, then her green eyes met Lauren’s and a tentative smile crossed her face. Lauren felt the panic rising. No! This can’t be…not…Dizziness caused Lauren to sway, and blackness crept into her field of vision. She blindly reached for a chair, but Amanda grabbed her arm before she fell and guided her to the seat.
“Put your head between your knees.”
Lauren held her face in her hands, concentrating on breathing, and looked up only when Amanda spoke her name. Her sister held a glass of water and urged her to drink.
She sipped the water, then set the glass down on the table beside her. She leaned back in the chair, wishing she had stayed in Tampa. What did you hope to accomplish, Gentry? Continued rejection? She turned her gaze toward her sister. “I’m sorry…for embarrassing you on social media, showing up without warning. I just wanted to see if we could sort things out between us—and I hoped you hadn’t heard anything about the crap on social media until I could tell you.”
“Vicious.” Amanda’s expression softened. “What set it off?”
“I think a photo of Marty and me at the recent Suns fundraiser that was among a display of photos on the Suns’ website. Someone added my name and tagged a bu
nch of people I knew in secondary school. I recognized some of the names they used to call me.” Lauren reached for the glass and drank more water. “The rest? Caryn said this happens a lot to wives and girlfriends—some people get a kick out of attacking someone anonymously.”
“Some of those comments about secondary are true?”
Lauren nodded. “Some.”
“What are you doing about it?”
“Everything we can.” She explained the joint efforts of Caryn, the Suns wives’ group, and the lawyers. “It will die down as quickly as it started.”
“Until the next time.” Amanda shook her head.
“Maybe there won’t be a next time.” Lauren’s head buzzed with questions and doubts. She glanced at the woman across the room, not believing she could be her mother. Don’t remember her at all…not looking like that. Could someone change so much?
“Lauren, that’s hardly realistic. One photo sparked that mess. What will happen next?”
“Next?” Lauren mimicked her sister. “What makes you think that? My school ‘friends’ had their fun. They don’t care enough to keep up the insults.”
“And the rest?” Amanda’s face flushed with anger.
“They’ll move on to someone else.” The photo taken under the bleachers with those twins flashed through her mind. So far, it had not surfaced. Maybe they kept their word and deleted it? If not, everything would get much, much worse.
Lauren turned toward the stranger in the room. “I discovered today that Child and Family services had decided to place me in a foster home. Is that why you sent me to Amanda’s?”
“What do you remember from the time?” Her mother’s voice reflected years of too many cigarettes and too much alcohol.
“Enough.” Lauren shifted her gaze to her sister. “I thought you and Trevor chose to bring me into your family. You did that to keep me from foster care.”
“We volunteered, Lauren. No one forced us.”
“You had to know what was happening in the house. You visited—I remember that.” Lauren took a deep breath. “Why did you wait until the authorities intervened? They could have placed me with strangers.”
“We weren’t ready for children before then. When we learned of the ruling, of course we wanted you in our home.”
“Even though you knew what it was like for me the whole time I lived in that house?” Lauren watched her sister look away, a faint flush creeping up her neck. “You only took me because you had to.”
“Not true, Lauren. We chose to become your guardians. We had to pass home visits, background checks, and find enough people who would support our request and write recommendations. Trevor and I were so young, just beginning our careers. We fought for you.” Amanda’s eyes bored into Lauren’s. “You don’t remember the spontaneous home visits until Child and Family services decided we were a better choice than foster care. Don’t you dare say we took you because we had no choice.”
Lauren flicked a tear from her cheek. “Everything I thought I knew was false. You let me spin it into a fairy tale and never told me the truth—even as an adult. When I read the court files, on top of the entire fiasco with Cassie…” She shook her head, determined not to allow one tear to escape. “Your responsibility for me ended when I became an adult. Amanda, I know I tested the limits of your patience...especially as a teenager.”
Amanda shrugged. “Just normal teen rebellion. Right, Mom?”
The older woman shared a slight smile. “You were an easy child, Amanda. You never gave us any cause for concern.”
“Were you drinking then?” Lauren couldn’t stop the words she blurted.
“Lauren!” Amanda rebuked her, while her mother nodded.
“Yes, I’d begun to abuse alcohol. Then I still had some control.”
“And by the time I came along?”
“Neither your father nor I had control over the alcohol…or our anger.”
Lauren ignored the look of regret in her mother’s expression. “You chose to allow alcohol to take control. Drinking took priority over motherhood.” You didn’t care I spent most of my time hiding in the closet or under the bed. You. Just. Did. Not. Care.
“I’ve changed. I want to get to know you…when you’re ready.”
Lauren shrugged but didn’t reply. She stood and faced her sister. “Please tell Cassie I love her. Again, I’m sorry you got caught in my tweet storm.”
Amanda reached for her arm. “Why don’t you have lunch with us? We’d planned to go downtown, but I’ll fix something here.”
“Maybe some other time.” Lauren walked toward the door and paused when her mother spoke her name.
“Please let us know if we can help you.”
“Okay. Yeah, sure.” Not likely, mother dearest.
39
DAVE’S WORRIES ABOUT Lauren intensified, then turned to frustration when he had yet to speak with her when the team returned from its five-day road trip. She ignored his texts and emails, and her voicemail was full. Has she even listened to any of them? A simple text saying she’s okay would suffice. They had silenced the Internet trolls. Surely, she knows that? If so, why the disappearing act?
He half-expected to find her things removed from the house. The anxiety—anger?—lessened when he saw that the closets, bedroom, and office had not changed. She took only her suitcase and obviously some clothes. He saw her note—she’d gone to Vancouver to deal with family issues. Sure, Amanda and Cassie. Probably the fall-out from social media, too. Lauren’s still unsettled? Have she and Amanda reconciled? Just tell me something, kiddo. Anything.
He called Andrew and asked if Caryn had time to talk with him. When Caryn took the phone, she asked him to come to their house, preferring to speak face-to-face. “I have some messages from Lauren you can read, Dave. Maybe they’ll make sense to you.”
Dave looked around his home before he walked out the door. Vast, open, and empty without Lauren’s presence…her essence. He didn’t bother locking the door—didn’t expect to stay long at the Chadwick’s.
Caryn greeted him with a hug, and Dave chuckled when he saw Andrew on the floor watching two babies pushing up on their knees and then rocking back and forth in the crawling position.
“You’re in trouble, Chad. Those two look like they’re just days away from scooting across the floor.”
Andrew scooped Daniel into his arms when the baby flopped face-first against the floor. “Go away for five days, and they learn new tricks.”
“Honey, just wait. Our lives will get even crazier in a couple months.” Caryn looked at Dave. “Let’s go into my office. You okay with those two, Drew?”
“Piece of cake.”
Caryn laughed, but then grew serious as they entered the office. “You haven’t heard from Lauren?”
“Not since she left Tampa. Either her phone’s turned off, or she’s ignoring my messages and voicemails.”
“I think she may turn off her phone or leave it wherever she’s staying if she goes out. She’s called a few times from Vancouver, to discuss dealing with the fallout from the Internet trolls.” Caryn explained all the steps she and Lauren had taken to remove the most personal attacks. “From what I can tell, much of the name-calling began with a group of people she knew in secondary school. Most of those accounts deleted any posts when our lawyer contacted them.”
Dave thought to the gala. “That woman from the bank in Vancouver…”
“One of the group,” Caryn confirmed. “I’m sure you saw the wives and girlfriends’ responses to any post attacking Lauren. Angela with the Suns PR jumped right in with the #StandUpToBullying campaign. I tried to convince Lauren we could turn this into a high-profile piece against cyber-bullying.”
“Not excited about that thought?”
“She didn’t want to discuss it.” Caryn opened two windows on the computer’s screen. “Here are the messages and emails we’ve exchanged this week. She’s called a couple times, but just talked about work-related things.” She turned the scr
een toward Dave. “Can I get you some water? A beer?”
“I won’t say no to a beer.” Dave scanned the communications Caryn shared but learned little new information. Says she saw Amanda several days ago…not a positive visit. A lot of questions answered. What does she mean by that? He thanked Caryn when she handed him a beer, then nodded toward the screen. “So, she’s still in Vancouver?”
“As far as I know. I get the impression Lauren’s trying to deal with some family issues. Several days ago, she sent me the number of a case file in the Vancouver public court records and asked if my dad could get it sealed. I didn’t look at the file or ask her about it, but evidently, some troll put the information on Instagram. She got the troll’s account shut down—whatever she found in that record was too personal to ignore.”
“Perhaps that’s why she said that something had answered a lot of questions?” Dave ran his hand over his hair. “I assume she’s not staying with Amanda?”
“I don’t know where she’s staying, though I’m sure it’s not with Amanda.” Caryn shook her head as she placed her hand on Dave’s arm. “I wish I had more information.”
“Does she answer when you call her?”
“No. She calls me,” Caryn said. “Maybe she just needs to recharge?”
Dave thought about his Energizer Bunny. Maybe she needs periodic recharging. “She’s staying at a hotel?”
“That’s my guess, but I’m not calling around to find her. If she wanted me to know, she’d tell me. I’m sorry I’m not much help.”
“Hey, you’ve told me she’s safe, probably in Vancouver, and taking some time for herself. That’s exactly what I need to hear.” He stood and leaned to kiss Caryn’s cheek. “She’ll resurface when she’s ready. Thanks.”