“That’s still some shady shit,” Tank said disapprovingly, but he’d long since tried to stop what he couldn’t control.
“Are we doing this, or what?” I said as I came out, flicking the hood of my tank top back.
Amber nodded, looking like she was forcing the courage. “Sure. Five big, strong boys behind me. I can do this.”
“Yes. You can,” Nico said warmly and there was a little touch of jealousy in me, particularly at the way she smiled back at him.
To make myself feel better, I was incredibly mature and grown up and reminded myself that Nico couldn’t have her either.
The six of us squashed into the lift.
“Morning, Mr Grayson. Miss Grace,” Donald said, crushed in the corner.
“Morning, Don,” I replied, momentarily distracted as my hand brushed Amber’s. I felt a zing of electricity between us like an electric shock, but so much sweeter.
I looked at her quickly and saw she was looking at me, too. My heart pounded in my chest and I was sure the others were going to be able to tell. I cleared my throat and moved as far away from her as the cramped lift allowed.
“Rollie, hit the fucking button, will you?” I snapped.
“Call me Buzz,” he said as he hit the button for the carpark.
We all turned to look at him. “What? Why?” we all asked independently.
“Because today I’m a moving guy. Not a security guy.”
I wasn’t the only one to sigh and mutter something less than complimentary about him and his ‘humour’. But soon the lift was filled with their overlapping chatter and Hawk’s and Rollie’s laughter. I snuck a look at Amber and saw that she was a little hunched in on herself. She pushed her glasses up and took a deep breath.
I felt my hand reach out to her even though I know I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t have the night before and I definitely shouldn’t when her brother was in the lift with us.
“You okay?” I asked quietly.
“I will be.” I felt her squeeze my hand gently. “Thanks.”
We looked at each other and I wanted to be anywhere but a lift full of the boys, let alone her older brother. Looking at her, it was like my heart restarted or some sappy shit. I wanted to tell her. I wanted to be worth her. But I couldn’t. And I wasn’t.
The lift came to a stop and Amber and I separated hastily.
Rollie led the way to the truck, skipping and waving his flags around like a total twat. But it got a laugh out of Amber, which I was certain had been the aim. The Grace Grayson team might have been toughened men of action, but we were also pretty perceptive. Bets were, the whole lift had noticed her trepidation.
We bundled into the truck. Hawk, Rollie and Amber in the cab and Nico, Tank and me in the back. Technically illegal, but who was going to see us? Hawk was a total dick as usual and had a brilliant time accelerating and braking really hard so we were thrown around. It was enough to even get a rise out of the usually level-headed Tank.
He banged on the front of the compartment. “I will end you!” he shouted.
Whether Hawk had heard him or we’d exited the carpark, the ride was smoother. For the few short minutes it took to get to the front of Amber’s old building. After Hawk let us out of the back – I punched him for good measure but he just laughed – and Rollie was done with his flags, Tank and I got out the boxes. I watched as Hawk fussed over his baby sister as she hovered at the front door.
Rollie was the first one in with an, “I’ll get the elevator!”
Amber snapped herself out of whatever was in her head to follow him. “We’re not all fitting in that thing and I solidly refuse.”
The rest of us followed her, but we all paused outside the lift as she started up the stairs.
“I’m serious,” she said. “You want whiplash and a near-death experience, be my guest.”
“I’m not scared,” Rollie decided, pressing the call button.
“I personally quite like my skin where it is,” Nico said. “I’mma take the stairs with Amber.”
She grinned and led the way.
“What floor?” Rollie called.
“Four,” Amber replied.
“Race you!” Rollie yelled.
Amber laughed as the rest of us followed her up the stairs.
She paused at the lift and chuckled to herself. “He might be a while.”
She went over to a door, blew out a heavy breath, nodded, and put her key in.
She pushed open the door and looked in cautiously. There was nothing from inside. No exclamation of surprise she was there. No greeting. Just silence. Maybe we should have said something when we’d run into Dannie the night before, but I honestly hadn’t thought of it.
“All good?” Hawk whispered.
Amber nodded and edged her way in. “Yeah. All good.”
The four of us bustled in behind her.
“How do you want to do this?” Nico asked as Tank started unfolding the boxes.
Amber sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know. There’s a bunch of stuff just around, plus my room…”
“Why don’t a couple of us take your room?” Hawk asked. “You can direct the rest of us out here.”
“What about Rollie?” Tank asked.
“Fucker can ferry boxes when he finally shows up,” Hawk said.
“I told him the elevator sucked,” Amber said. She sighed again as she looked around. “But, yeah. Okay. Sounds like a plan.”
“Tank, help me with her room?” Hawk asked.
“You remember which one it is?” Amber looked at him.
He gave a nod. “Just put everything we find in boxes?”
“That’s the plan.”
Hawk and Tank took a couple of boxes down a corridor off the main living space. It wasn’t big, but it was homely. Far more homely than the penthouse would ever be, I was sure. There was evidence of life lived here. The best thing going for the penthouse was that Amber left all her study stuff spread around. At the very least, the penthouse was an exclusive university study hall. But I had given Amber permission to re-decorate, so who knew what it would look like soon.
“All right, tell us what to pack,” Nico said.
Amber breathed out like she was thinking. She nodded, then headed for the kitchen. “Okay.”
Tank had remembered to bring some newspaper so we could wrap up all the breakables before putting them away. Amber’s assertive streak shone as she passed us things to wrap, pointed at stuff for us to grab, or handed us something to put in a box. It was a weirdly efficient system.
When Rollie eventually arrived – not really that long after – he ran into Dannie and the dickweed in the hallway on his way back out with a box.
“Excuse me,” I heard Dannie’s voice. “Who are you and why are you in my apartment?”
Amber caught my eye and I could see she wasn’t looking forward to this confrontation. I stepped forward and Dannie’s eyes snapped to me.
“Chaos?” she said sweetly, Brent glowering behind her. “What are you doing here?”
“We’re helping Amber pack up her stuff.”
“You mean she’s moving in with you?” Brent asked, taking a step forward.
There was enough challenge in him that I was pretty sure he knew he’d royally cocked up. He’d fucked the wrong girl and he’d lost the right one. Well, Amber wasn’t his and I wasn’t giving him a chance to even try to win her back. Even if no one else in the room noticed how possessive I suddenly felt, Brent did.
“Okay,” Hawk’s voice broke obliviously through the silent tension in the room. “You’ll be super proud of me. I did not bare butt fart on Dannie…is standing right there…” he petered off.
“So kind of you to not give me pink eye, Patrick,” she said to him.
But Hawk was done being civil to this little shit – he’d never liked her. “It is the least of what you deserve after you stole Bert’s boyfriend, you slag.”
Danni
e acted shocked. “I didn’t steal anyone. Brent wanted to be with me.”
I smirked as I stepped up beside Hawk. It was the two of us against the two of them. “You regretting that easy lay now, mate?” I asked him cavalierly.
“I don’t have to explain myself to men with children’s names,” Brent said haughtily.
I nodded. “You might be right there. But at least be man enough to admit you fucked up. An apology is surely not beyond a man as…mature as you.”
“You intimidated by the ex?” Brent tried.
All five Grace Grayson boys laughed. Mine had less humour in it than it should have.
“Intimidated? No, mate,” I said, taking another step towards him. “Little boys not man enough to keep an amazing young woman are nothing to me.”
“I see you’re fine hiding behind these buffoons, Amber…” Dannie said.
Amber walked forward to stand between us all. “I’m not hiding. I’m just getting on with my life. Something I think the two of you should probably do.”
Dannie looped her arm in Brent’s. “We are dating, you know.”
Amber looked them over. “How nice. You two deserve each other.” She turned on her heel and started back to the kitchen.
Brent pulled his arm out from Dannie’s and went to follow her. My hand rose from years of practise to stop him. He glared at me but didn’t fight me. “Amber!” he pleaded. “Come on. Can we at least talk about this?”
“Brent?” Dannie cried, frowning at his back.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Amber said, barely looking up from the mug she was wrapping.
“There is. Let me explain. Apologise properly. Please. I love you.”
The whole room went deadly still. Amber lowered her hands, the cup still half-wrapped in it, and looked at him over the rims of her glasses.
“You loved me, but you couldn’t go a few months without sex for me?”
He shrugged wildly. “It was a mistake. An accident.”
“Brent, closing your hand in the door is a mistake. That’s an accident–”
“But I love you.”
“And you think that makes it all better? Three words don’t excuse cheating, Brent.”
“Don’t you love me?”
I felt like I was at the tennis. Heads swivelled one side to the other to see what the next person would say.
“No,” Amber said simply.
“What? Not at all?”
Amber shrugged gently. “Nope.”
“Of course, she’d say that now,” Dannie scoffed.
Amber looked totally calm, totally confident, she was in charge here. “You believe whatever you want to. I know my truth and that is, quite frankly, all that matters. What the two of you think of me is no longer my problem.”
Brent sniffed. “So, that’s it? It’s over?”
Amber laughed, but it was humourless. “It was over when I found you under my best friend.”
“Amber…babe–”
I stepped closer to him. “You heard her,” I growled.
“Kit, leave him be,” Amber told me. “I’ll be done here soon, Dannie. I’ll leave the key when I lock up.”
“You’re kicking me out of my own apartment?”
“You’re welcome to stay. Just don’t get in the boys’ way.”
Dannie looked like she was going to argue. For about five seconds. She then stormed out. Brent had no choice but to follow her, what with not only me but Hawk scowling at him like looks could kill. As soon as they were in the hallway, they started arguing.
“You love her?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Not that you love her!”
“It was always her.”
“It wasn’t her when you had your dick in me.”
“You’re a mistake, Dannie!”
“Well…” Rollie chuckled awkwardly as he pushed the door closed exaggeratedly. “Wasn’t that fun?”
“You okay, Bert?” Hawk asked.
She nodded, a little shaky but still confident. “Yeah. I’m okay.”
“For real?”
She smiled at him. “For real.”
He nodded. “Okay. Let’s be here for as little time as possible.”
We finished packing up all of Amber’s stuff and loaded it in the truck. We didn’t see Dannie or Brent again, but Amber did really seem okay. All I wanted was to console her, to wrap my arms around her and make sure she was okay. But that wasn’t something we did and I was going to keep reminding myself of that.
The guys helped us get the boxes and furniture loaded up in the lift at the Mayhew, while Donald held the doors open for us – it took a good few trips. I knew what this looked like to him and I knew what gossip was going to be spread around the rest of the staff as soon as his shift ended. But I didn’t care. As long as Amber was safe, I didn’t care.
“Fuck me, that was a lot of shit, Bert,” Hawk sighed after all her belongings were in the penthouse as he helped himself to a beer out of my fridge.
“I’m a collector,” was her defence.
“Chaos is gonna need to let you put some of it out here. It’s not all fitting in your room.”
I’d spoken to Hawk about the living arrangements. I’d told him Amber was planning to live with me until she finished studying at least. He’d been fine with it. But he wouldn’t have if he knew what thoughts my traitorous head was entertaining about her.
I looked to Amber and saw she was looking at me. Too many things passed between us unsaid. I felt every single one to the depths of my soul. I wanted to take all her hurt away and make sure it never came near her again. I wanted to make sure she never felt small or used ever again. Now I’d seen so much of it, I couldn’t bare for her to ever doubt her confidence again.
“Of…of course,” I finally said. “Re-decorating power and all. Unpack whatever wherever. Make yourself at home.”
Rollie chuckled as Hawk passed him another of my beers. “Careful, mate. You might end up with panties on the chandeliers.”
“Oh, so like your place then?” I replied, feeling like I was forcing the normality, but it was better than nothing.
We all fell into a relaxed conversation as we all shared a couple of beers. The guys only stayed for an hour or so, then they headed off for places to be, jobs or ‘dates’ and the like.
“So…” Amber said as she picked up the beer bottles and took them to the kitchen. “Thanks again for all your help today.”
I shook my head. “No problem.” I drummed my hands on the kitchen counter, totally at a loss for words and feeling like a teenage boy in the first awkward throes of my first crush.
“Did you–” I asked as she said, “Were we–”
“You go,” she said with a shy smile.
I shook my head. “No. After you.”
She smiled as she looked down. “I was just thinking we could set the console up. I’ve still got Street Fighter…” Her eyes rose and there was a challenge in them.
This was a challenge I could answer. I smirked. “You think you can beat me?” I chuckled.
She shrugged. “I’ve had a lot of time to practise…”
“I’ll believe it when I see it.”
She grinned warmly, then jogged off to one of the boxes. I got another couple of beers out while she set it up and did not keep my eyes off her arse in any way.
We dropped onto the couch, our thighs bumping together but neither of us moving away. Strictly speaking, we were too close. I wasn’t sure I trusted myself at that distance and the last thing she needed after such a harrowing day was me being all…vibe-y.
But she didn’t seem to care. And, truth be told, she was giving off some vibes of her own.
She fair and square beat me in the first two games, but I was beating her steadily for the third. Half her health was gone and I was gearing up for my uber move. Amber, obviously, wasn’t having any of it.
Her sho
ulder nudged mine and she put her hand over my controller.
“Interference!” I called and she laughed.
“No! No! No!” she giggled as she held her controller as far away from me as possible and uber moved the shit out of my fighter.
“Total interference, ref,” I said as I tried to reach for her controls with my longer arms.
She shook her head as she turned to me and our noses bumped.
There was this look in her eyes that screamed at me to kiss the girl, that the girl wanted me to kiss her. Her chest rose and fell against me rapidly. Every nerve in my body was on alert to her. My heart skipped a beat and I suddenly forgot why this whole thing was a bad idea.
My arm was on the back of the couch behind her, the other one stretched for her controller. Almost as one, our stretched arms dropped together. I trailed my fingers over her shoulder and felt her hand on my leg. I dipped my face towards her slightly, touching my forehead to hers for a moment. She inhaled quickly, but then I felt her reaching up towards me.
At the exact moment our lips met, “K.O.,” came the call and I pulled away from her and looked at the TV.
I spluttered a laugh to see her fighter victorious onscreen. I looked back at Amber in disbelief. She had her hand over her mouth and her eyes were full of cheeky humour.
“Did you actually just…?” I asked, sparing a quick glance to the controller still in her hand.
She shook her head wildly. “No,” came her muffled reply. She held both hands up innocently, looking both apologetic and like she was about to burst into laughter. “No. That was a total accident. I swear.”
My eyebrow rose. “Sure it was.”
“No,” she laughed. “I promise it was.”
“I demand a rematch, Amber Grace.”
She tried to draw herself up intimidatingly. “Game on, Christopher.”
As we into battle, we laughed and there was no mention made of the almost-kiss for the rest of the night. I wasn’t sure if I was glad about that or not.
11
Amber
I took my time waking up on Sunday morning, feeling better than I had in a long time. I felt like, after taking a million steps backwards, I was finally moving on with my life.
Chaos & the Geek (Grace Grayson Security Book 1) Page 11