I cursed silently when we reached the roadblock and stumbled trying to walk around it. Michelle woke and looked around, “Are we almost there?”
“Almost,” I grunted as her movements sent a bolt of pain through my side.
“Am I hurting you,” she said stilling.
“No sweetie, you’re fine, just stay as still as you can.” That was an outright lie and even though I did my best to keep going the pain and exhaustion were becoming just too much. I fell when we were a hundred yards from the driveway. I was able to turn while falling, so Michelle fell on me rather than me on her, but I wasn’t able to catch myself or soften the landing.
Michelle stood up and said, “Come on James, we’re almost there. I can see the mailbox. Come on!”
I smiled, “Go ahead and go up to the house. I’m just going to lay here for a bit.”
“But I don’t have shoes, and my feet are all cut up.”
“Untie my boots and take my socks. They’ll give you enough padding to help get you there.”
She did as I instructed and began unlacing my boots. I would have sat up to help her but my body absolutely refused to do anything else but breath and keep my heart beating, and I’m sure that if it had any say it wouldn’t have done that. When she was pulling off my socks, she wrinkled her nose, “Ew. Your feet stink.”
I would have laughed if I hadn’t been cut off by another lance of pain through my side. “I know. I’m sorry. Just hold your nose.”
She got my socks off and slipped her tiny feet into them, “I’ll be back. I’ll bring the others.”
“Just don’t fall down ok, I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”
“I’ll be ok James, I’m not a baby.”
“I know, I know,” I said as I slipped into unconsciousness. I had gotten Michelle out of that house, away from danger and she was on her way home. My brain was now telling my body that it was ok to stop doing everything that wasn’t vital and to close my eyes. I didn’t fight it and allowed everything around me to go black.
I vaguely remember voices, movement, and someone yelling. After the voices had gone away and I had woken in my own bed it was to darkness and the smell of mint. I fell back asleep almost instantly, sure I was home, safe and with the woman I love. The third time I woke it was to an empty room. I sat up with a groan and looked down. I was shirtless with bandages wound tightly around my stomach, binding my ribs tight. I also had bandages on my hands, arms, and face. With great difficulty, I climbed out of bed and hobbled to the bathroom. I hardly recognized the face that stared back at me. It was still swollen, my skin a motley of blues, blacks, and purples. Grimacing at my reflection, I turned and headed out to the living room. One eye was still partially closed from the beating I had taken, and I could only see part of the room, but I could see that most everyone was gathered there. “Morning everyone,” I said hoarsely, “Did I miss anything?”
Sarah was on her feet in a flash, “Bed. Now” she ordered, pointing back to our room.
I knew better than to argue and so I did an about face and walked back into my room. She followed me in and closed the door. I was expecting her to yell or scream or even give me the silent treatment, but instead, she started to cry. She walked up to me and placed her head on my chest and just… cried. “Shhhh I’m ok. I’m sorry I got hurt again. I’m so sorry.”
She slapped my chest, “Stop, just stop it. Stop saying you’re sorry. It’s not like you could have done anything differently. Stop apologizing for getting hurt.”
“I left you. I’m sorry I left you.”
She shook her head, “It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you’re back and you’re alive.”
I held her like that, my bandaged arms wrapped around her while she cried into my chest. I think it was the whole ordeal had been piling up since the beginning and was now breaking through her barriers. I may have been the bleeding one, the bruised one, the one with cracked ribs, but I wasn’t the only one in pain. I held her until black spots speckled my vision. “I love you Sarah, but I think I might need to sit down.”
She had stopped crying, but this seemed to break her out of whatever thoughts were running through her head, “Oh of course. You shouldn’t be out of bed.”
“Well, I wouldn’t go that far but…”
“No, get in bed.”
“How’s Michelle?” I asked while climbing under the covers.
“She’s fine. She was a little shaken up when she came and got us, but you should have seen her when she was leading us to you. She was proud that she was able to help, that she was helping to rescue you,” Sarah laughed.
I smiled, “How about everyone else? How are they doing?”
She laughed at me, “What is wrong with you?”
“What? What did I say?” I frowned.
She shook her head in disbelief, “Here you are, lying in bed, covered in bandages and probably in a lot of pain and all you want to know is how everyone else is doing.”
“Well I know I’m ok, or at least that I will be. I don’t know about the others.”
She shook her head again, “They’re fine, relieved that you’re back. In awe of your ability to defy death,” she said dryly.
I shook my head and regretted it immediately. “What about our other guests?” I asked when my vision stopped swimming.
She hesitated but then said, “They’re talking about leaving.”
“What, why?” I said sitting up and wincing.
Sarah pushed me gently back down and said, “They don’t think it’s safe here. They want to get away from any of George’s men that might still be around.”
“They’re idiots,” I mumbled.
“Yeah, but you told them they could come or go remember.”
“True,” I said pulling back the covers.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she said crossing her arms and frowning.
“I’m going to go talk to them.”
“No, you need to…”
“Sarah,” I said rising to my feet, “I’m not going to break. If anything these injuries have proved that. If they are thinking about leaving, then I need to talk to them before they make their final decision.”
Uncrossing her arms, she said, “Fine,” and helped me out of the room. I didn’t really need her support, but I wasn’t going to mess up this minor victory by complaining. I walked outside wearing only a pair of sandals and my jeans. We walked to the Pole Barn, and I asked, “You think you could get all of our visitors out here so I can talk to them?”
“Sure,” she said, hesitant to leave my side.
“I’ll be fine. I’m not going to go looking for more danger just yet.”
“Not funny,” she said walking away.
Tread lightly, I thought to myself and smiled at her retreating form. When she came back outside, she was leading the rest of the survivors. They were talking animatedly to each other, but when they caught sight of my bandages, they fell silent and gathered in front of me. When I spoke I didn’t yell, I simply spoke with confidence and authority, granted to me by my wounds, by my victory, and by the woman at my side, “So some of you are considering leaving, I have no problem with that. I’m not here to try and convince you to stay because your lives are your own. I won’t try to keep you here, I will, on the other hand, let you know what’s out there.”
“We already know,” said one of the guys.
“You’re Alex right?”
“Yeah.”
Alex was taller than me and had blond hair and blue eyes. He had shown up with a woman named Jordan. “Well Alex, I don’t know what you had to do to survive. I don’t know what troubles you’ve seen, but I do know what I’ve gone through, the worst happening most recently. Many of you saw what happened when those two men showed up and captured Michelle and me. This,” I said raising my arms, “is the end result. I was tortured by those idiots, and I killed them not for trying to kill me but for threatening someone I cared about. They were able to get to me through the we
akest of our group. There are children among you, wouldn’t it be smartest to stay? There is strength in numbers.”
“Numbers didn’t help at Luke’s, and it didn’t help here,” said Alex, speaking up again.
“So if you think you won’t be safe here, surrounded by a fence and armed people, then how do you think you’ll do out there?”
“I don’t know but…” he was interrupted by Phil’s coughing.
“Look, you can do what you want. If you want to leave, then you may go. We’ll give you as much supplies as we can afford and we’ll arm you with what we can. I just ask you to think about it before committing. Phil,” I said facing the coughing man, “Could I talk to you?” He nodded and headed towards me as everyone else went back to what they were doing.
“What can I do for you James?” he asked after getting his cough under control.
“Nothing, I’m alright,” I said walking towards the fence line.
“Could have fooled me,” he said giving me a grin.
“Looks worse than it is. Listen, I want to talk to you about your cough.”
“I know, I know. I’m going to die” he said matter-of-factly.
“Wh… How… Yes, how did you know?”
“Well, you didn’t have the best look on your face when you and I last talked and so I did a little research. You got a lot of medical books around here, so it wasn’t much trouble. I looked up Pulmonary Fibrosis and learned a thing or two. The biggest being that my body won’t be able to use oxygen and I’ll die.”
“And you’re not worried?”
“It’s not,” he started coughing, “It’s not like I have much choice in the matter. It happens to everyone. I’m just glad I found people to watch after the kids.”
“So you’ve made plans already?”
“Yeah, Alex and Jordan will be taking care of them.”
“You sure that’s the best idea?”
“Yeah, Alex is a good guy, he’s just worried about Jordan. They’ll be able to watch the boys.”
“I’m sorry Phil,” I said in resignation.
“There’s no reason to apologize son. There’s nothing you could have done.”
“Yeah, but…” I began.
“No. No buts. There’s nothing at all you could have done. It’s just bad luck.”
I didn’t know how to respond to him, so I asked, “Is it getting harder to breathe?”
“Yep. This is the most I’ve done since getting here.”
“I don’t think your trip here helped your lungs at all.”
“Yeah I figured as much,” he said coughing again.
Once he got it back under control, I said, “Well, I guess I should let you go back to what you were doing.”
“Oh, I was just reading but thank you.”
I watched as he made his way back coughing the whole way. Sarah appeared next to me, “Come on James, you should go back inside.”
She helped me inside and was leading me to our room when we passed Matt. I slowed just outside my door and turned to face him, “Hey, Matt.”
“Yeah?”
“You busy?”
“No what’s up?”
“Get a couple of volunteers and get over to Luke’s for me.”
“Yeah, sure. What do you need us to do?”
“Tear down that fucking sign,” I said walking into my room and closing the door.
Chapter 13
I spent a lot of time in bed, several days in fact. My body was determined to catch up on rest, and it spent several days sleeping. My warden, I mean girlfriend, made sure that I didn’t move for three days. By day four I decided that it was time to get back up. My cuts were healing, and my bruises were beginning to fade slightly. More importantly, my ribs didn’t hurt if I kept them bound and took plenty of Tylenol. Sarah tried to convince me to take some of our painkillers but I refused, knowing that we could have injuries far worse in the future, I could do without. Other than keeping me sane, getting out of my room served a secondary purpose. It showed the others that I couldn’t be brought down by scum like Nick, I could be hurt, but I refused to be beaten. Early that morning on I was on the lawn explaining some of the easier forms when Jackie came running up to me clutching her baby. “James, you have to come, quickly.”
I stopped the slow position I was taking and turned to face her, “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Phil. He can’t breathe.”
“Alright, let’s go see what’s up,” I said heading towards the Pole barn where they were staying. Walking into the crowded room, I could hear Phil before I even saw him. His breathing was shallow and haggard. He was having a very difficult time breathing, and I knew that without oxygen he wasn’t going to last much longer. I knelt down next to his cot and spoke quietly and calmly into his ear, “I know it’s hard for you to breathe but I’ve got to talk to you. Just shake your head, ok?” He nodded yes. “Good. Are you in a lot of pain?” Again, he nodded yes. “Ok. You know that it’s going to get worse?” Another nod. “Do you want me to do something about it?” He paused. “I can make it so that you won’t be gasping for your last breath, you won’t suffer.”
“Not. Yet,” he gasped.
“It’s only going to get worse you know.”
“I. Know. Not. Yet,” he said, laboring to get each word out.
“Ok. Save your breath. You let me know if you want my help.” He nodded, and I stood. “He’s going to get a lot worse,” I told Jackie as I walked away “Make sure he spends some time with the kids. He’s not going to last very long. I want you to get me as soon as he decides he wants it to be over. Day or night.”
“Ok, I’ll keep an eye on him,” she said.
“Thank you,” I said walking inside. I didn’t like the idea of Phil suffering a very painful and drawn out death. The morphine would not only deaden the pain, but it would peacefully kill him. I went inside and wiped off the little sweat that had gathered from the morning exertion and chided myself for not being in top condition again. I changed into a clean pair of clothes and went to the ‘War Room’ I couldn’t do a lot while I was still hurt, but I could go over any plans for any future raids. I heard someone come up behind me and ran a bandaged hand through my hair, sighing. “Hey, Sarah.”
“I told you that I didn’t like when you do that.”
I smiled, “Sorry. It’s just a habit now.”
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
It shouldn’t be a surprise anymore, but I was still shocked at how well she knew me. I had barely said two words to her, and she could read me like a book. You’re getting sloppy Ryan, I thought. “Why should there be something wrong?” I asked lightly.
“You sighed. And you ran a hand through your hair. Means something’s wrong. If I had to guess I would say that you’re worried about our guests, the fact that their leaving.”
“Normally I would be, but like I told them, they can do what they want, even though I think they’re making a huge mistake,” I said gruffly. “I’m more worried about Phil.”
“That he’s going to die?”
“Yeah. I mean just think about it. You made it this long, surviving the apocalypse while keeping two kids alive with you, only to die from a heart attack derived from a lung problem.”
“Wait, a heart attack?”
“Yeah, if he doesn’t suffocate from lack of oxygen then he’ll probably die from a heart attack.”
“And there’s nothing we can do?”
“We don’t have any of his medications, I don’t know what he would have to take even if we did and without it, he’d have to be on oxygen all the time. Even then that would only delay it further. There would come a time where he just wouldn’t be able to use the oxygen. He’s going to die, it’s just a matter of how and when. Unlike most people he has a choice.”
She put her hands on my shoulders and squeezed, “You know he’s not scared to die?”
“Yeah, he pretty much told me the same thing, and he’s even waiting to take the morphine. He kn
ows how hard it’s going to get, how painful, but he’s still waiting.”
“He’s brave and maybe a little stupid,” she said sitting next to me and smiling. “Reminds me of someone else I know.”
“Well that’s not very nice,” I said smiling back at her.
“It may not be nice, but it’s true. It’s something you would do.”
I didn’t really have a good come back because she was right. It was something that I would do. Instead of struggling to find a good retort I changed the subject, “How does everyone else feel about the survivors leaving?”
“They all pretty much side with you. They think they should stay because it’s a lot safer. I’m actually a little upset.”
“Why?”
“Well, they shouldn’t be going anywhere with those kids. It’s not safe.”
“It’s Phil’s decision, and besides they’ve made it this far.”
“And so that means they should push their luck even further? No, they should really be staying here.”
“As much as you like to think you control everything, especially me, you don’t. We can’t stop them, you told me that.”
“I know, I know, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“I know,” I said getting to my feet, “I don’t know about you, but I’m really tired for some reason. I’m going to go lay down for a bit. Would you like to come with me?” I asked offering her my hand.
She smiled and took it, “Sure, but only because you should already be in bed.”
I sighed, “I told you, I’m not going to break.”
“I don’t care what you say. Bed. Now.”
“Yes dear,” I said putting my arm around her waist and walking to our room. I took off my shirt and sat on the edge of the bed. My muscles were sore from the beating I took, but the bruising seemed to be getting better. I popped my neck and shoulders, much to Sarah’s horror, and placed my head in my hands, “Sorry.”
“It’s fine. Are you ok?”
“I’m just great,” I said groaning as she put pressure on my back.
“Yeah you seem just fine,” she said sarcastically.
Survivors Series (Book 2): Heroes Never Die Page 15