by Ada Bright
‘It has to be said, the charm is proving to be unreliable at best.’ Charles sank into a chair beside the desk under the window.
Jane shook her head. ‘That has not been my experience.’ She looked around the room, then back to Edward. ‘Perhaps transporting more than myself resulted in this? Perchance it was never intended for such a purpose.’
‘But you had no need to continually flit between this time and the present, as you have done with little thought for anyone but yourself!’ Cassandra sounded as frustrated as Rose was beginning to feel.
Rose’s heart was pounding in her chest so fiercely, she was sure they could all hear it.
‘Could the charm restore itself?’
Jane walked over to sit beside Rose. ‘How can I say? I have no reason to suppose it will.’
Rose put a hand to her head, which was beginning to ache. Were she and Aiden truly stranded? ‘But what about Aiden? We cannot let the surgeon take his hand!’
Jane patted Rose’s arm, but Edward walked over to stand before her. His eyes were kind, and Rose felt tears prick the back of her lids.
‘Miss Wallace, please do not fear such an outcome yet. Let the doctor and surgeon assess the injury. They are well versed in such matters and will do all they can to alleviate the situation. Amputation is a last recourse, not a given, and it may be some days before a conclusion is reached.’
Rose nodded, unable to summon words, and he walked back over to enter into a low-voiced conversation with Charles. Rose tried to remain calm. Had she really been this blinkered, this taken with walking in history with Jane by her side, with the revelation of her father’s whereabouts? Had she taken this… magic so for granted she had never considered they could be stuck here forever?
* * *
When the doctor returned, he spent what felt like forever with Aiden, and Rose paced up and down on the gravel sweep at the front of the house, trying not to think about what his conclusions might be today. She stared at her feet as she walked.
Her mind was still reeling from Jane’s revelation and its implications, so much so, she couldn’t form any coherent ideas as to how she was going to have the emotional strength to bear the loss of her old life, her friends and everything about the modern world she loved and had so taken for granted. How could she have been so stupid as to not think about the risks?
‘Rose.’ She started and looked over her shoulder. Jane was coming towards her, and she turned and hurried over.
‘Is it Aiden?’
Jane shook her head. ‘He is well enough in the circumstances. The doctor detects no change for the worse, and is adamant the surgeon must be the one to determine the next course of action. It is believed he will arrive within the next hour or so.’
She took Rose’s arm and they walked back towards the house. ‘It is you I wish to speak to. I cannot bear to think what I have brought you to, what loss I have caused both you and Mr Trevellyan.’
Her voice was uncharacteristically solemn, but somehow, it gave Rose the impetus she needed to pull herself together. She’d watched Jane deal with a similar situation only a week ago, trapped in the twenty-first century and lost to all who knew her. Jane had been philosophical, practically minded, resourceful. These were all things Rose would now need to apply to her own life. This was no time to crumble. Besides, there was no duvet for her to wrap herself in, no comforting packet of chocolate biscuits to consume or back-to-back Netflix series to lose herself in.
No, this time, she had to live out the story, not just observe it, just as her father had. If he could do it, so could she.
‘Jane, can you do something for me?’
They had come to a halt before the entrance to the house, and Jane met Rose’s gaze warily. ‘If I am at all able.’
‘It is nothing too onerous. I must speak to Aiden. Now. In private. You do understand? I have to tell him our situation, and I have to do so before the surgeon arrives. He has a right to know where he stands.’
Jane nodded. ‘As you wish.’
* * *
Rose closed the door to Aiden’s room and leant against it for a moment, listening to Jane’s receding footsteps. They had assured her as much time as she needed, and knowing the door to the servants’ staircase was locked again, she held her breath as she looked across at the motionless form in the bed.
Walking over, she eased down onto the edge of it and gently slipped her hand into Aiden’s good one. Much as she wanted him to rest, she felt a desperate need to be connected to him physically. He was the one tangible thing from her normal life, the one thing keeping her sane in amongst all this… insanity.
He didn’t stir, and she watched him for some minutes, unaware her breathing had slowly become synchronised with his. It gave her courage, being here with him. How would she have coped with her situation, had she come back alone? He made her feel real, the whole unreal thing seem real. Sadness gripped her, and Rose remained motionless for some time, her hand clasping Aiden’s, relishing its warmth, cherishing the moment, knowing she must break such awful uncertainty to him.
‘Rose?’ Aiden spoke faintly.
Rose leaned forward, her head almost touching the adjacent pillow. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t want to wake you.’
‘What time is it?’
‘I don’t know. About two in the afternoon?’
He frowned. ‘Why… how are you here? Are we alone?’ He hadn’t opened his eyes.
‘Yes, quite alone. They said it was okay for a short time. For me to be here…’ Her voice tailed away. How was she to begin?
‘Rose?’ Aiden’s voice was hoarse. How she longed to offer him some water. ‘What’s wrong? What aren’t you telling me?’
She held tight to his hand, then eased around to swing her legs up onto the bed and edged closer to his face. ‘The charm…’ Rose whispered softly. Perhaps by saying it gently, it wouldn’t sound so bad? ‘Jane’s charm isn’t working properly.’ She sighed. Was this being truthful? ‘Or at all, even.’
There was no sound from Aiden for a moment. Had he drifted back into sleep? She tried to draw a shallow breath, but it hitched in her throat and a small sob came out instead.
‘I’m so sorry. Aiden, I’m so sorry I got us into this.’
Slowly, his eyes opened, and he turned his head with obvious difficulty on the pillow. They were eye to eye now, and he released her hand and raised his to touch the curls beside her cheek.
‘Don’t cry. Please don’t. It’s going to be okay.’
Rose sniffed back her tears. ‘How can it possibly be okay? What is there in all of this that’s okay?’
His eyes had closed again, but he gave a slight shake of his head. ‘Worse things happen at sea. You’ll see.’
Rose wanted nothing more than to bury her head in his chest and believe him, but his voice was coloured with pain and a sort of fuzziness, as if he had had a bit too much to drink. Besides, she would hardly be aiding him by leaning on his bruised ribs, would she?
Rolling onto her back, her hand once more in Aiden’s, Rose stared at the elegant canopy. She would have to advocate for both of them in this world, if this was indeed where they were to live out their days. When things had gone wrong before, Morgan had kept her going, urged her onwards. It was futile now to think of Morgan, or of James, or the fact she and Aiden might forever be unresolved missing person cases.
Rose’s mind flew to Bath, her home, her desk at work. Her Out of Office said she’d be returning to her desk two days ago. Now, it would never be removed. Thoughts of never again visiting her favourite restaurants, never walking to work with the sun warming the golden stone of Bath threatened to overwhelm her, and she pushed them forcibly away. None of it mattered. The losses from tantamount to trivial had to come second to caring for Aiden. She had brought him to this situation. She had to make it as right as she could for them.
Chapter 26
‘Rose?’ Aiden attempted to clear his throat. ‘Are you still here?’
She turned he
r head on the pillow. ‘Yes. I’m here.’
‘You shouldn’t be.’
‘I’m getting pretty tired of being told what I should and shouldn’t do.’
Aiden laughed weakly.
‘Ow! Ribs,’ he muttered, then added, ‘I had no idea I had fallen for such a rebel.’
Rose stared at him, not knowing how to respond. She’d known he’d liked her, of course. He’d only just confessed to it, but was he really… keen on her, like she was on him? A momentary feeling of happiness took hold of her before reality intruded.
‘Fear has made me take risks, I suppose.’
Aiden grunted, his lids falling again. Then, his eyes opened, and he frowned.
‘Did you… was I dreaming? Did you say something about the charm?’
Rose tried to speak firmly. ‘Yes. It’s not working, I’m afraid.’
Aiden frowned. ‘Which one?’
It was Rose’s turn to frown. ‘Jane’s, of course. There’s only the one.’
Aiden made as if to sit up, but Rose eased him back down onto the pillows. ‘Hush. You must stay still.’
‘But the cross Jane has… it’s not the only one.’
‘I know, but the other two are inanimate, remember? Only Jane’s has… had special power.’
Aiden was becoming agitated, and Rose eased herself off the bed. She had better send for a maid to sit with him and find out how much longer it would be before the surgeon arrived.
‘Where are you going? I’m hungry. Any chance of a pizza?’
Rose couldn’t help but smile. ‘Get some rest. I’d better go before someone has to come looking for me. It won’t do for the surgeon to find me in here alone.’
She began to loosen her hand from his, but he summoned some of his old strength and held on, pulling her closer to him. ‘Wherever I am, I want to be with you. Wherever I am, it’s all the same to me. Do you understand?’
If he weren’t in danger of infection and amputation she would have thrown herself at him right then and there, but his burst of strength had gone and he released her hand, falling back against his pillows, his eyes closed again.
Her heart full, Rose stood up and looked at him for a moment. ‘Yes, I understand.’ She turned away, but then looked back over her shoulder. ‘I love you,’ she mouthed, before letting herself out of the room, fighting back tears of both happiness and hopelessness.
Rose walked slowly along the landing, part of her longing to go back and stay with Aiden, but she knew she had to let him rest with the surgeon’s imminent arrival, and her pace steadily increased until she almost flew down the stairs. She had to get outside, away for a moment.
The temptation to leave Chawton House without telling a soul was severe. Rose felt no anger, not towards Jane or anyone else, but emotion had her in a grip so strong it felt like she was drowning in it. She needed time to herself, she needed… a walk.
She was almost amused by how her behaviour mirrored those of her favourite Regency heroines, heading for a long walk and fresh air to alleviate her turmoil. Having reached the hallway, she hesitated outside the door to the library, from which low voices emanated. She so needed to be alone, but should she leave without telling them?
‘Miss.’ A servant had come out of the service door, bobbing a curtsey before making to pass her, but Rose stayed her with a hand.
‘I am going to take some air. I shall walk…’ She sought for inspiration. ‘In the direction of the village.’
‘As you wish, miss.’ The servant hurried along the corridor and, satisfied she had left the necessary information if anyone was looking for her, Rose headed to the door and slipped out of the house.
She had intended to wander aimlessly, but as she reached the centre of Chawton, she slowed to a halt across the road from the cottage. She had left the great house with no bonnet or shawl and no clear purpose other than to escape, but now she understood exactly why her feet had led her here.
She crossed the road and hurried past the cottage without looking at it. Ridiculous though it was, she was a little mad at the house now she had been robbed unfairly of her lifeline to Morgan. Rose’s breath was uneven as she walked along the lane bordering the garden. An elderly lady came out of the gate of the rather dilapidated thatched cottage opposite the Wallaces’ and turned in her direction, albeit on the opposite side of the road, and she smiled and nodded at Rose as she passed.
It was Miss Benn, and Rose turned to watch her making her way towards the centre of the village, then looked back at Baigens. Why had she come? How was this going to help things? They thought they’d said their farewells for now.
Rose closed her eyes. They ached with unshed tears, ones she had held back for hours now, firstly from shock at Jane’s news, then so as not to unnerve Aiden too much. Surely this was a bad idea, complicating an already complicated story and stirring already tumultuous feelings?
‘Rose!’
Rose’s eyes flew open to meet those of Mary, who had come to lean over the garden wall.
‘What are you doing here? We thought you had taken your leave. Are you delayed?’
Rose curtseyed on instinct. ‘Mary. I… I…’ Was Mary friend or foe today? She seemed to be smiling, which was something.
‘You are pale as a spirit! Come.’ She gestured over at the gate. ‘I shall fetch Mama.’
Rose stepped into the garden, still unsure of her purpose, her heart clenching in her chest. Mary had disappeared inside the house, and she could hear her calling for her mother. How awful was this, catching them so unaware, creating drama in a house that deserved none?
She had almost decided to turn and flee when Mrs Wallace came bustling out of the door, a look of concern on her sweet features.
‘My dear girl! Are you unwell?’
Rose shook her head. There was a strange tightness about her throat, a constriction making it hard to speak.
‘Forgive me. I should not have come—’
‘Nonsense, child.’ Mrs Wallace stepped forward and put an arm around Rose, urging her into the house. ‘You must sit for a while. Olivia!’
The second eldest put her head around a door to the right and stared at Rose in surprise.
‘Fetch your father, please. This instant.’
But Christopher Wallace was already bounding down the stairs to fetch up before her. ‘Rose! How is it you are here?’ His keen glance raked her face. ‘What is wrong? What has happened?’
Mary and Anne had joined them in the hallway now, and Rose looked from one concerned face to the other, her throat growing tighter and tighter until, for the first time since she was a teenager, she completely dissolved into tears in front of people. Much as she tried to stop, to reassure them she was fine, the tears she had been holding back refused to cease.
Louisa offered her a handkerchief, and Rose wiped her face as she was led into the drawing room and urged into a seat. Her father sat beside her, with Mary and her mother opposite.
‘Olivia, ask Williams to bring tea.’
She left the room, and Anne picked up her book from the floor and perched on a stool nearby.
‘I am so sorry.’ Rose drew in a shuddering breath, thankful the stream of tears seemed to have calmed. ‘I didn’t mean to barge in on you and… and create such a disturbance.’
Louisa smiled so kindly at her, Rose nearly started to bawl again, but she held it in, wiping her eyes one final time.
‘You have created no disturbance, and you must know you are welcome here at all times.’ Louisa spoke soothingly, then tentatively added, ‘Has something happened to your young suitor? The young man who had the fall?’
Rose nodded, then shook her head, before turning to her father at her side. ‘Something has gone wrong with his injury and our… travel home has fallen through.’
Christopher’s face changed from worry and consternation to dumbstruck. He glanced at the others in the party before speaking. ‘Do you mean, you will stay here? Permanently?’
Mary looked at him
as if he were talking nonsense. ‘Papa, there is more than one carriage in the land!’
Louisa gave her a warning glance. ‘It is frustrating, to be certain, but such things can easily be resolved.’ She frowned. ‘Does Mr Knight not have another carriage at his disposal? I am certain I have seen more than one before now.’
Christopher got to his feet. ‘Louisa, would you please give us a moment alone to speak?’
Louisa frowned, looking from her husband to Rose, then nodded. ‘Of course, my dear. Come, Mary. Anne.’ She walked over to pat Rose on the arm before leading the two girls from the room.
Rose’s hands were clenched around the handkerchief as she got to her feet. ‘I really am so sorry for coming unannounced. I think the tears have been long overdue.’
‘Rose, if you apologise one more time for coming to this house when you were in need I will use my privilege as your father and punish you.’ His mouth curved into a half smile. ‘Tell me what has happened.’
It took Rose a while to lay it all before her father, with Aiden’s health taking a turn for the worse, delaying their departure and then the staggering news the charm was no longer working. She managed to get through it without falling apart again, though her voice did waver when her father questioned her on the consequences for Aiden’s arm.
Christopher listened as Rose shared her feelings of guilt and her fears and disappointment for all she might have lost forever. When she was done, he hugged her to him, and it was all she could do not to start crying again.
He released her and stood back, surveying her face with sympathy.
‘I am sorry. I am sorry for all you have been through. I do not know what to say. My own heart has been broken since we parted and seeing you again now is a wish granted that I dared never to hope for.’
Rose bit her lip, willing herself to be strong. ‘Oh, I know exactly how you feel. I don’t want to cause pain to my family and friends where I live. I don’t want to lose the life I built there, and I definitely do not want to be responsible for the same for Aiden. And yet, knowing you were only a walk away… It was unbelievably… unbelievable.’ Rose laughed and shook her head at her poor phrasing. ‘I hope you are not hurt to know I haven’t given up yet. I’ve been stuck before, as you know, and we found a way to make things right.’ She looked at him sadly. ‘This time, though… I don’t know where to begin.’