He drew his brows. “You forgot?”
“Forgot?”
“About our bonfire?”
Yes.
“No, I’m sorry. I must have drifted off.”
Ian took a step back as I pried my eyes open further to see he was dressed casually in shorts and a T-shirt. It was a far cry from the suit-clad man he arrived as a month before. His thick brown hair had gotten slightly sun-bleached and a few blond hairs had sprouted out of the thick disheveled mess. Gorgeous gray eyes peered at me through thick black lashes. It was always on the tip of my tongue to tell him how beautiful he was.
“Koti?”
“Yeah?”
“Bonfire?”
“Yeah.”
Ian patiently pressed his lips together to hide his grin.
“I mean, yeah. Let me wash my face, okay?”
“Must have been some nap,” he said with a small smile. “I’ll be out here.”
“Okay. Do I need to bring anything?”
He paused again and cupped the back of his head with his palm. “Chocolate, graham crackers, marshmallows?”
“Right.”
He frowned. “We can do this another time.”
Snapping out of my haze, I finally met his watchful gaze. “Nope, I’m on it.”
He turned to make his way to the beach as I admired the fit of his clothes. The man had swagger and it was dizzying. He carried himself as any military man would—with confidence and purpose.
Ian chose the exact moment I zeroed in on his ass to glance back at me. I didn’t bother acknowledging I was caught. Instead, I shut the door and raced to my bedroom.
I spent short minutes showering and scouring my skin in a sugar scrub that smelled like juniper before I raced to my closet and threw on my favorite white sundress and gold flip-flops. With another minute to spare, I brushed some bronzer on my cheeks and glossed my lips. Feeling lighter from the shower, I grabbed a small bag from my pantry and threw my stash into it along with a few other provisions. I grabbed a bottle of wine and two plastic wine glasses. Outside, Ian was carefully crafting our bonfire. I watched him work with it for a few seconds before I ran back inside and turned on my beach mix. The first few notes of Mazzy Star’s “Fade Into You” sounded as I shut my door and crossed the sand. Slightly nervous and still a little drained, I met Ian near the shore where he was setting up a pair of folding chairs next to his newly lit fire.
“This is perfect. I brought wine.”
He perked up and eyed the bottle I pulled from my bag. “Looks familiar.”
“Yeah, well, it’s delicious.” I pulled out a second bottle and we shared a smile.
“That kind of day?” he asked.
I slowly nodded as he took one of the bottles from my hands and I dug through the bag for my corkscrew. “We found a man lying dead in a lawn chair at one of our properties.”
“Oh?” Ian said with interest. “We?”
“Me and my boss, Jasmine.”
I held out an empty glass to Ian who poured generously into one and then the other. We clinked our plastic and took a seat.
Nervous laughter burst out of me. “He was naked.”
His eyes bulged. “Wow.”
“Yeah, nothing kinky. He wasn’t tied to the chair or anything. He probably didn’t expect to die naked on a porch. He was in his eighties.” I felt the lump in my throat threaten and pushed through it. “He was alone. I hate that.”
Ian took a sip of wine. “That’s unfortunate.”
“Yeah,” I said dismissively though my voice shook. “Yeah, it was.”
“Does he have family?” Ian asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t think so. Let’s talk about something else. How is Disco?”
“She was asleep when I left.”
“Oh well, she’ll keep you up all night.”
Ian rolled his eyes. “As she has every night.”
“Got to get her on a schedule, professor.”
“She sleeps with me now,” he said affectionately.
Lucky bitch.
With a glass of wine in hand, we sat for several minutes simply enjoying the view, the sun slowly creeping down before us. The islands were becoming giant black rocks with twinkling lights as their canopy as each minute passed. I had so many questions but decided to start with the one I thought was the safest.
“How long are you staying?”
He paused before he answered. “I’m not sure.”
“How long has it been since you’ve been here?”
“A few years after I got married. The last time I saw you was the last time I was here.”
“You were leaving,” I said, recalling the day he walked out of the Kemp house, keys in hand. I remembered pausing to look at him before I stepped out of my parents’ SUV.
“You recognized me right away,” I said with a grin.
“You had on gold sandals,” he laughed as he studied my feet. “What is it with you and gold sandals?”
I shrugged and sipped my wine to hide my smile and pushed off my sandals to drag a lazy toe through the cooling sand. “Why didn’t you say hi? You just took off.”
“I was in a rush to get home,” he said, taking a sip of his wine.
“And you couldn’t say hello?”
He sank a little into his chair while an expression I couldn’t place flit over his features. “I was late for my flight.”
“Oh.”
“Feels amazing out here,” he said, his eyes flicking to the firelight.
“It does.”
“You’re really here for good?” he asked.
“Yep. No other place I want to be.” Ian picked up our bottle and refreshed our glasses.
“Right now, with this view, I have no argument.” I sank further into my seat as the sun set, a wine buzz, and the music drifted between us. I’d only ever shared my bubble with Jasmine. I felt strangely comfortable doing it with Ian. Because though the man in front of me was a far cry from the boy who chased me through the sand, he wasn’t a stranger.
With a bottle between us and the false courage that went with it, I studied him.
“So, tell me about the Marines. Is the training really as hard as it’s made out to be?”
“Worse,” he muttered. “It didn’t matter, I was up for it and I had already been training for months before I went in. But it wasn’t a breeze by any means. God, that seems like another lifetime ago,” he whispered almost inaudibly.
“So, you got out right away?”
“I served four years and I could have served more, but I had a baby coming, I wanted to be out.” He pulled at his lip and nodded. “I didn’t want to miss anything.”
“How old is she?”
“Just turned fifteen.”
“Wow.”
He stoked the fire as I swallowed a little intimidation.
Ian had been married, divorced, and was raising a daughter. The longest commitment I’d had was with my Mac, who I murdered on my way out of the city.
I chuckled.
“What?”
“I was just thinking of how much further evolved you are than I am. You’ve already had a marriage and are almost done raising a kid.”
He shrugged as he dug his feet into the sand. “What’s the rush?”
“No rush, well actually, at this point…”
Prodding eyes flicked my way.
“I have no plans past today, and those are my plans tomorrow.”
“I like your life. I wish I had it so easy.”
“Trust me, I pay for it. My mother is pissed and my dad is utterly confused with my choice to stay here. I tell them constantly they should have had another child, at least then they could do that fun comparison thing. It’s not my fault my mother was worried about her figure instead of procreating, and they were forced to place their hopes on one kid.”
“Some pressure, huh?” Ian grinned. “I guess since my parents adopted I lucked out.”
“Trust me, in regards to your mother, t
here is no disappointment in the slightest when it comes to you. Rowan is wonderful and thinks the world of you.” I said with a smile. “We caught up briefly last summer, but I don’t remember much of her when we were kids, but I do remember her banana pops. God, what was in those?”
Ian grinned. “I’ll teach you.”
“Really?”
“Yes,” he said as he filled our glasses again. “If you fancy them that much.”
“I definitely fancy them. I’ve been dreaming of those for years.” I twisted in my seat and tucked my legs underneath me. “She was always smiling, I do remember that.”
“She’s an amazing woman. Both my parents are great people,” he said fondly.
“Call her. She’s worried. Okay?”
“I did.”
“Oh? Good.”
Ian chuckled, and I looked to him in question.
“Are you feeling a little loose then, Koti?”
I realized then I was rocking back and forth to the beat of the music. And I don’t mean casually, I mean shoulders and head into it like the guys from Night at the Roxbury.
“Oh, crap.” I pressed an embarrassed hand to my forehead. “I do it at the store too. It’s in my genes.”
“Your father is a musician, right?”
“No, he was a sound engineer, mostly for reunion concerts. He was the guy with the big soundboard in the middle of the crowd. He did a lot of reunion tours for seventies and eighties rock bands.”
“Oh,” he said perking up a bit in his lazy seat. “Anyone I would know?”
“All of them,” I said without missing a beat. “I’m not kidding. All of them.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, my favorite was Stevie Nicks. She is incredible.”
“So, your father knew rock stars and your mother was a model. Some childhood you must’ve had.”
“Yeah, their life.” I shrank in my seat. “Not mine.”
He smirked at me. “And you are the castaway.”
“And loving it.”
He raised a brow. “Right,” he said as he lifted his glass, “to the castaways.”
“To the black sheep.”
“Baaaa,” Ian belted out and we both burst into laughter.
“You look like you’re shedding a little wool,” I noted, glancing at his rapidly slimming physique.
“Yeah, and it’s hell,” he said, patting his stomach. “While you’re clearing naked dead men from rentals, I’m hauling my ass down the beach regretting about a thousand fast meals I ate during my divorce.”
“That bad?” I asked.
“That bad,” he muttered tonelessly as he studied the fire.
I picked up the wine this time. “But it didn’t kill you.”
“No, no it didn’t.”
So, what did?
Just on the tip of my tongue lay the intrusive words but there was no way I was breaking up the carefree vibe. I needed a reprieve from my own shit, just as much if not more than Ian did from anything that had to do with his hurts and I wasn’t about to stir things up. I’d watched him tax his troubles for weeks. And I considered every smile, every laugh that erupted out of him a small miracle.
“You know, professor, every day I woke up when I got here… I was just numb. I’d been blindsided. It took me weeks to truly see the ocean and feel the sun on my face.”
“I’m there.” We exchanged a long look before he spoke. “It’s a shame it wasn’t the flying sand ball that did the trick.” He smirked before he took a sip of wine.
“Yeah,” I winced. “Not my finest moment. I’m sorry.”
“I deserved it.” He hesitated. “I have to admit, I was a bit resentful toward you when I arrived.”
I gawked at him. “What in the world for?”
He leaned in toward me. “You know.”
“No clue. My great taste in music?”
“No, I kind of like your nightly concerts,” he said pensively. “You just…”
“Yes?” I drew out the word.
“You were all sunshine and smiles, just so fucking happy,” he said with slight humor. “I wanted no part of it, still don’t. I’m allergic.”
“How inconsiderate of me.” Still, his words stunned me and inwardly I beamed at his confession.
He gauged my repressed elation. “I don’t expect you to apologize for being happy, Koti.”
“Ha!” I said remembering my episode earlier that day. “Please don’t take this the wrong way but you have no idea what you’re saying.”
“I’m pretty sure I may sneeze if you smile any wider. I can count your teeth.”
“It’s the wine.”
“You’re happy here,” he said looking back at our matching houses. “And I want some of that for myself.”
I sat up in my seat, leaned over and gripped his hand. He flinched and turned to face me. “It’s already yours.”
He shook his head in disbelief. “You’re so sure.”
“I am. Trust me, okay?”
He pushed the hair that stuck to my gloss away from my lips. And it took every bit of strength I had not to lean into his touch.
“You sure about everything, Koti?”
Buzzed, I willed myself away from his lingering fingers. “Lord, no. I had an anxiety attack today when I saw a dead man on a sun chair. I’m afraid of my own shadow some days and I blur out the bad parts as quick as they come, but I know this island and it’s magical healing powers. This has nothing to do with me. I don’t have the answer to anything. But here, this place is where everything wrong can be made right.”
“I’ll just choose to believe you.”
“Hmmm, you’re a skeptic.”
“Realist.”
“Okay, tell me this. Of all the places in the world you could have fled to, why did you come here?”
Ian sat back and harrumphed. “I never thought about it.”
“Because you remember being happy here.”
“I guess so.”
“Me too. I hadn’t been back since I was seventeen. And now onto s’mores.”
Ian chuckled. “Well, that’s random.”
“No, I’m buzzing, and this is s’mores. I take them seriously.” I grabbed the metal skewers from my bag and divided the ingredients between our laps. With practiced precision, I loaded a skewer with marshmallows and stuck it in the fire. Ian waited with a loaded cracker.
“Here, spread that on one of the crackers.”
“Nutella?”
“Yep, and chocolate. If I’m feeling wild, I’ll use Ferrero Rocher.”
“You do take this seriously.”
I placed a bubbling marshmallow on his cracker and pushed it toward his mouth.
“Ladies first,” he said pushing it my way.
“That one’s yours.”
I put my own s’more together in seconds and shoveled it into my mouth. I was ravenous because I’d missed lunch and dinner.
“Holy shit,” he said with a mouth full of goodness, “that’s delicious.”
I waggled my brows with my own mouth full and chewed.
His full smile had my heart pounding.
I’d told Jasmine he was handsome.
I was such a liar.
Ian Kemp was beautiful at fourteen. He was gorgeous when he was twenty-five and stood on his parents’ porch waving at me before he left me with a crush. At thirty-eight, he was devastating, sitting next to me watching me inhale my dessert.
“More wine to wash that down?”
“Please,” I said extending my glass.
The breeze kicked up at that moment and neither of us saw the tide had come in until a rogue wave came through and wiped out our fire.
Ian leapt to his feet and swept me out of the chair just before the gasping flames licked my dress.
His hands were all over me as he checked to make sure I was unharmed. I squirmed beneath him as I saw the bag with my dinner began to wash out to sea.
“Damnit!” I dropped my shoulders, helpless as we both watch
ed the tide’s greedy retreat and I managed to reclaim my soaked bag.
Ian gripped the corked wine and brushed it off before he presented it to me with a wry smile.
“Well, grapes are in a food group,” I sighed nodding at his offering. “Come on, I have more of them.”
“You sure love your wine,” he said following me up the stairs into my house.
“My only vice.”
Inside my house, I lit candles and turned down the music. Ian stood unsure at my kitchen counter.
“What?”
“I hope I haven’t given you the wrong impression.” He glanced at the candles and then back at me.
It had been an eternity since I’d entertained a man sexually, it took me a second to catch on. “Yeah, uh, I light candles every day of my life.” I clicked on a lamp. “It’s an anxiety thing.” I turned to face him head-on. “But, should I be pissed you don’t want to make love to me with all this highly romantic ambiance?” I lifted my hands, palms up.
He sheepishly put the bottle on the counter and moved to find glasses.
“That’s right, go hide behind the cabinets. I’m pretty sure they can’t shield that inflated head of yours.”
“You sure do know how to bust a man’s balls,” he muttered lifting two glasses from the cabinet.
“You shouldn’t be so quick to assume I wanted your balls or any other part of your anatomy, professor. Besides,” I said as I stood on the other side of the island while he poured more wine, “I’m sure your students are all too eager to play teacher’s pet.”
He grinned down at his wine glass. “Never went there. Had a few chances.”
“Ah, that’s right. You chose to break your gentlemen’s virtue on the side of my house.”
His head snapped up and my smile vanished as something passed between us. Three or four heartbeats later, he looked over my shoulder.
“You know you’re living in a time capsule. No TV, no computer, what gives?”
“My sanity. Do you even remember life without cell phones?”
“I do. Barely.”
“Well, I use them only when I have to. Do you have any idea how much time I got back in my day from putting that damn thing down?”
Still smiling he answered, “I can only imagine.”
“So much time. So. Much. Time.”
“I want to be you when I grow up,” he said softly.
“I don’t want to grow up,” I whispered back.
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