“I do,” the mutt said, nodding as he finally reached them. “I’ll meet you at our home with it ready.”
“Thank you.”
When Trevan looked back at her, she was watching them.
“I can tend it on my own,” she said softly.
“I know you can, but Vahn did it, and I feel responsible. I should have been more insistent about not being comfortable with this.
“This wasn’t your fault,” she said. He put himself between her and Vahn as they left the clearing. “I…I don’t often have ideas that might be useful. It’s not what I spend my time doing. I was hoping I was onto something that could be useful. I have to make sure Emerian is ready for missions with me, and this would have been helpful. I don’t want to see him get taken out by a gryphon before he even has a chance.”
“I understand. I think there are better ways, though. Maybe take him hunting? The Andinna hunt the occasional gryphon. Or just aerial sparring.”
“I wanted him to get the feel of flying with a gryphon near him,” she said softly, rubbing her hands together. “You’re right, though. There has to be another way to teach him this without risking anyone.”
By the time they made it back to their cliffside, Emerian was waiting at the door, holding a small leather bag.
“Found it!” the young mutt called out, lifting it high above his head.
Trevan tied Vahn up in his small holding area, then helped Mave up the stairs. She rolled her eyes when he took her arm to give support.
“My own husbands—”
“Would kill me and your nemari if we didn’t treat you with the proper respect after you’ve been injured training with us,” he said sharply, cutting her off. “And I wouldn’t blame them.”
Mostly, I don’t want them to see you walking around with a defeated slump because your plan didn’t work. I don’t like seeing it myself.
He shut them in his house and found her a seat at his table. Pulling a small knife from her belt, she cut open her breeches farther, exposing the entire injury. Trevan grabbed a washcloth from a bowl of hot water Emerian had set up before they made it back. Going to his knees in front of her, he looked over the scratch as he cleaned off the blood. The bleeding was already slowing, an Andinna trait he wished he had. He bled as much as any human or dwarf, but the Andinna had a special way to subconsciously slow their bleeding. He’d seen it keep countless gladiators alive long enough to treat their injuries and fall into a healing sleep after fighting on the sands.
“They aren’t deep,” he declared, nodding with satisfaction after her leg was cleaned. “That’s good. Be careful a couple days, and they’ll scar, but—”
“They can join the others.” Mave shrugged. “I just hope I didn’t ruin my relationship with Vahn. I didn’t want to scare him, but I think I did.”
“He’ll be fine,” Trevan said, shaking his head at her worry. “Bring him a leg of something, and you’ll win him back.” He dropped the bloody washcloth into the bowl, the water turning red.
“It makes me wonder who takes care of them,” Emerian commented as he picked up the bowl. “If they kill Andinna…”
“Humans,” Trevan said sharply. “Andinna slaves don’t help with the army or navy. There’s a ban on it. They use low ranking humans to tend mounts.”
“I didn’t know that,” Mave said softly. Trevan met her gaze, feeling a sudden wave of guilt as memories came flooding back. Years of training for his position and to keep his skills sharp. The things he had seen and had been expected to do during those months were ones he tried to never think about.
“It’s common knowledge,” he said, trying to dismiss it. “Um…”
“There’s nothing wrong with knowing,” she said gently. “Trevan, you were an Elvasi soldier. You were a guard in the pits. Of course, you would know things about their military.”
“I try to only tell you the useful things. That’s not useful. In fact, it’s not helpful at all.” He stood and stepped away from her, sighing. “The only time I saw Andinna around during our training was…” He trailed off as the source of his guilt came to the surface.
“The Andinna were banned from helping your military unless they were going to die,” she filled in for him. “I understand.” He watched her stand and stretch her injured leg. “I’ll leave you alone. Trevan, there’s nothing to feel guilty about. You were living the only life you could, and it led you to helping me, the Company, and my people. Everyone has their own journey to take, and now you’re here. Consider it in the past and forget about it. No one is judging you.”
“Have a nice day,” he said softly as she walked out. Emerian looked at him sadly, then followed her, off to do his duty as her nemari. Trevan was left alone in the cliffside home with a bowl of bloody water. He took the mess into the kitchen and quickly drained it, using some of his fresh water supply to rinse it off. Noticing she left her dagger on his table, he cleaned and sharpened the knife, deciding he would give it to Emerian when he returned for the night.
The guilt faded slowly. He knew none of the Andinna he liked judged him for what he once was. He’d always been loyal to the Andinna cause, even if he had to do things he didn’t want to talk about, things he tried to forget. He used his knowledge of the Elvasi army to help the Andinna.
There’s nothing I can do about the past…only the future.
He tried to keep that thought close as he tended his shared home. He took great care, knowing it was the best home he’d ever had. He had a nice apartment in Elliar while working in the pits, but this place was growing on him. It made him feel connected to the Andinna in a way he had never felt before. He lived like them, ate like them, and trained like them. In some ways, his continued help with the Andinna’s side of the rebellion was penance for the life he lived in Elliar.
He genuinely enjoyed it more. It was simple, raw. The Andinna stripped life and its trimmings down to the barest necessities, something he found pleasant after his first few seasons. He was even sleeping on the floor now, finding it to be cool and comfortable. Many mornings, he woke up off his mattress, curled into furs away from it. It was nice having so much space, no longer confined to the idea of a bed.
But the botched training made him remember one very important fact.
I’m not Andinna.
He was falling ever more in love with their culture. He found simple pleasure in the way they lived, the honest way they spoke to each other, the wisdom their way of life gave them. He loved the way they looked at the sky as if they loved and revered it. They talked about balance, and he had seen a year of their rituals, how even the worst of them still respected the world they lived in. Even the roughest, meanest of the gladiators were quiet and respectful on Al Moro Nat, a strange night to honor the dead.
But he always had to remind himself of one important detail.
I’m not Andinna, and I never will be. They’re allowing me to see their culture, but they’ll never let it be my culture, and they shouldn’t. I’m Elvasi, and I have no right to it, not after everything my people have done to them.
He sighed as he finished his daily household chores for the second time. He had done all of this when he woke up, ushering Dave and Emerian out the door, so neither of them would be late to their appointments. Dave was in the war room every day, and Emerian had to be awake before dawn, so he could be ready to assist Mave. Trevan didn’t have to be anywhere until midmorning, so he took the time to tend their home.
With nothing to do, he started a slow roast for dinner that would be done by sunset. He didn’t know who would be home for the last meal of the day, but he made it, anyway. Emerian sometimes ate with Mave and her family, and Dave was developing the habit of eating at the war room while he worked with Learen.
Once the roast was set, Trevan knew he didn’t have to watch it, so he decided it was a good time to bathe. He grabbed a small bag with his cleaning items and began the slow hike up to his favorite spring. It was too small for Andinna to use, thanks to their
wings, so he had claimed it for him and Dave over the past winter.
It was another thing he loved about the mountains and the way of life he never thought he would get to see. He knew Elvasi who scoffed at the Andinna, calling them rough and uncultured, claiming the Andinna had needed the Empire’s intervention because they were savages.
Trevan sank into the hot spring and couldn’t figure out how anyone would think that. There was beauty in simplicity. It wasn’t uncultured, but honest in its beauty, honest in its brutality. The Andinna accepted the world and found their place in it. They didn’t try too hard to change it to suit their own needs or wants. They adapted.
I would choose this over the trappings of the Empire any day. I wonder if Alchan would permit me to stay when this is all over. I don’t want to go back.
“Hey, Trevan!” someone called. He opened his eyes and saw Dave walking over. There was barely enough space for both of them in the spring, but he didn’t say anything as the human stripped down and stepped in, finding a way to sink in and get comfortable. “Hope you don’t mind. Walking has made my legs sore, and I wanted to soak before settling in for dinner and sleep.”
“I don’t mind,” he said kindly, smiling at the young man. Dave and Trevan looked to be a similar age, but there were centuries between them. “I was just thinking…do you think Alchan will let us stay here once the war is over?”
“I plan to stay,” he said, shrugging. “No one has told me I can’t, but…” The human wisely moved a finger between them. “I won’t be in their hair as long.”
“True,” Trevan agreed, sighing. “I was just thinking about how much I like it here. I don’t want to go back to Elliar.”
“Can you?” Dave asked, obviously confused.
“Well, they could always ask me to go to Olost,” he reminded the human. “There are ways for them to get rid of me once this is over.”
“I don’t think they will. You’re loyal, strong, and Mave’s friend. Alchan might be the king, but there’s very little I’ve seen him not give her. I think if she asked for an entire staff of Elvasi prisoners to clean her house, he would try to oblige.” Dave shrugged. “He can be indulgent with her, not that she would ever ask for an entire staff of Elvasi, she’s not like that. But if she knew you wanted to stay in Anden when this was all over, Alchan would probably help you get a home and work so you could stay. You’re already considered a valuable advisor to him.”
“Really?” Trevan frowned. He barely spoke to the king and for good reason. The male was busy, and he was the king. Trevan just tried to be useful and not cause any trouble that might bring the dominant male down on his head.
“Yeah, he’s spoken about it,” Dave explained. “I hear everything in my place. They ignore me, not in a bad way, but they sometimes forget I’m in the room working on the supply manifests. He, Luykas, and Nevyn talk about everything under the sun. I know they’re annoyed with Kenav right now because some of the former gladiators are ignoring their unit commanders to follow Kenav. Kenav is brushing it off, saying the gladiators want to follow someone they know, and Alchan can’t find a good way to put his foot down.”
“Sounds like trouble is brewing,” Trevan muttered, shaking his head. “Kenav was a problem in the pits.”
“I remember,” Dave said softly. “He pretty much made the gladiators a united front against the guards, didn’t he?”
“Hmm.” Trevan nodded. “I would say eighty percent of the gladiators followed his lead. The other twenty percent were split into much smaller groups—Mave on her own, the other prized fighters in their own small packs, and some stragglers who never made it very long or pissed him off at some point. He would incite violence, but we could never pin it on him, even though we knew it was him whispering in their ears. He never gave us information, either. He caused mayhem because it kept us busy and kept his Andinna safe. He was good at playing us. There was nothing wrong with that because he was just trying to keep them alive, but…”
“We’ve both always been loyal to Mave, so that puts us on the opposite side of him, and we see his actions differently,” Dave filled in, obviously unsure if he was correct.
“That’s right.”
They let silence fall, then Dave left, waving goodbye as he trotted back down the trail toward their home. Trevan sank deeper into the water, resisting the need to check on dinner. He stubbornly stayed in the water because it felt like he would one day lose this, and he wasn’t ready for that. Instead, he thought about training.
Mave’s intentions had been honorable and sound. She was right, the Andinna needed more experience against the newest addition to Shadra’s army. The gryphon riders hadn’t existed during the first war. They were a special project she had secretly developed since then—a thousand years of breeding to create gryphons that would allow a rider. It was ingenious, taking away Andinna advantage of owning the skies.
There was no way to do it safely, which was troublesome. She had mentioned him fighting for the Andinna beside her one day, and he wanted that. He never let himself consider it before because he couldn’t fly, but now he let the idea hit him, and he wanted it. He was good with a sword and several other weapons. He was a smart soldier with centuries of practice. He could be an asset on the battlefield. But he wasn’t Andinna. He couldn’t fly and join their ranks, and Vahn…Vahn’s behavior closed that door on him before he even realized there had been a door. He wouldn’t risk lives just so he had a chance to die in a blaze of battlefield glory.
He leaned back and stared at the sky, now growing darker by the moment. The red moon was absent this night, allowing him to see the first stars in the night sky.
“Dinner is probably ready,” he whispered, putting aside his own disappointment. He rose out of the water, dried himself off, and got dressed. As he walked down the trail back to his home, he tried to reassure himself, he was doing all he could. He couldn’t do any more than what he was because of one simple, very important detail.
I’m not Andinna.
That hurt in more ways than one. His worship of Mave was turning into something deeper. Something he couldn’t acknowledge. Just like wishing he could sprout wings and fly as one of them, the entire situation was hopeless.
16
Rainev
Rain woke up that morning before Alchan and was able to sneak out of the room before his lover realized. He started breakfast quickly, knowing he only had moments before the bedru king noticed his absence. He started a cooking fire and cracked open half a dozen eggs, seasoning them as he whipped them to make enough scrambled eggs for everyone. With Lilliana, their meals had to be a bit larger, something he was now used to accounting for. It had been over a month since her arrival.
Large hands grabbed his hips, and hot breath hit his neck as a growl echoed through the home.
“Good morning,” Rain greeted simply, a smile forming. He didn’t stop what he was doing, choosing to ignore the physical actions of his lover.
“Consort, what do you think you’re doing?” Alchan purred dangerously, asking a trick question of Rain, who decided to walk right into it.
It’s more fun when I play the game.
“Making breakfast for myself and Lilliana,” he answered.
“And what about my breakfast? You know I have an appetite when I wake up,” Alchan said, full of innuendo, though Rain didn’t need the dirty talk. The erection against his ass was a firm reminder of what Alchan was like in the morning. Not that it was unpleasant, but today, Rain had plans, and Alchan would make him late.
“I’m making enough for all of us. You are welcome to join us,” Rain retorted, turning in his king’s hands with the same smile. “We’re heading into the village today, she and I. We’re hoping to be there by the time the market opens, so I can’t indulge this.”
Alchan stepped closer, their chests pressing against one another.
“Could I possibly convince you for something quick then? We don’t even have to move.”
“You must
have forgotten we promised Lily that we wouldn’t do anything in the public areas,” Rain said, poking Alchan’s chest. “Remember? Wake up and think clearly. Besides, you had me all night, and you were in a mood last night. I’m a touch sore.”
Alchan groaned and let go. Rain was able to grab the male’s chin before he could get too far and held his king in place, kissing him once, eliciting a simple sound of pleasure from the big male.
“And to think, we ever considered you submissive,” Alchan murmured, leaning in for another soft kiss.
“I am, but you taught me how to stand up for myself.” Rain chuckled against his lover’s lips. “You know if you wanted me to stay, you could make me.”
“I do,” Alchan agreed. “I also know you push my buttons because you find my reactions fun.” Alchan squeezed his hand on Rain’s hip so hard, it was nearly painful, a clear reminder of how rough they could get, and both enjoyed every moment of it.
“I find your reactions sexy, and they make me want to go back to bed,” Rain corrected. “But I really can’t today. Lily and I want to go out and spend the day together. We haven’t in two weeks, and I don’t want her going crazy in here.”
“Lily,” Alchan said softly. “You’re the only person I hear call her that. Why is that?”
“I…” Rain didn’t know how to explain it. He liked calling her Lily, but the reasons were complicated. It made her feel familiar, which felt important. She was a sweet female who had very few people in her life, and he wanted to be one of those people. Just like when he met Mave, he saw someone who was alone and decided he could be the person who made them less alone. In a sense, he had done the same thing with Alchan. Their king had been alone for so long, Rain wanted to fill the gap and give their king the love he deserved.
Now, he was Alchan’s Consort, a title that denoted him as a member of the royal family by marriage, particularly a spouse of the ruler. Consorts were almost always male, normally married to and in the mayara of the ruling queen.
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