“Eat,” Alchan ordered again. “Then we’ll rest. We have plenty of time on the road to dwell on the situation we left behind and regret our choices. We need to take care of our bodies while we can.”
She agreed. Everyone took their food and ate together around the fire. Mave realized Bryn was still sitting too far from her, but he was focused on his food, never looking up from it.
Mat and Zayden were done eating before her and went to lie down. Lilliana put away the pot after giving out seconds to most of them, then went into her section of Alchan’s tent. Rain and Alchan disappeared next. Emerian silently went away once he realized he was almost alone with Mave and knew that would be uncomfortable. It was a conversation they had already had once on the road.
Mave moved next to Bryn, where he sat holding his empty bowl. She took it away from him and put it down to be cleaned up in the morning.
“Come to bed,” she ordered softly, kissing his cheek.
“I don’t know how any of you can look at me,” he whispered. “I can’t even look at myself in the reflection of stew.”
“We love you, and people make mistakes,” she murmured as she stood, grabbing his elbow and making him stand as well. Slowly, she led him to their tent and forced him to lie down. They slept in their armor because of the danger and the cold. It stopped them from having intimate time, but she didn’t need to strip Bryn down to make him feel loved.
And he needed that.
She straddled him and kissed him, chuckling against his lips as Zayden groaned to the left.
“Bryn is feeling guilty,” she told them. “And we all know how much I don’t like when one of my males is feeling down.”
“Ah,” Mat said, moving closer. “Bryn, there’s no reason for you to feel like that. We’re mortal, and we get beat. We can only keep fighting.”
Zayden came next, silently, wrapping his arms around Bryn and underneath her. She closed her eyes to sleep on top of all three of them, with Bryn trapped in the middle.
She was done with guilt.
That spy better hope Luykas catches them. They don’t want me to come back and deal with it. I’m done with guilt. I’m done with people making my family feel guilty and sending us to the brink.
I’m ready for revenge.
“Will you take a walk with me?” Alchan asked her the next morning as everyone worked on breakfast and breaking down the camp.
“Sure,” she said, frowning as he led them away.
“You don’t have much farther,” Alchan told her. He pointed down the north road as if he could already see her destination. “Only a couple more days and you’ll see it. After that, probably another five. You’re looking at a week.”
“Thank you,” she said, looking up at him, wondering why he needed her to say that but willing to do this little dance. “You?”
“I probably won’t be at the Capital until closer to Al Moro Nat,” he said, wincing. “It’s a long trip, but I might be able to get us moving back south much faster. It’s tucked in the northern edge of Anden, in one of the last livable valleys, like this one. When it was founded, no one wanted it near any borders. You’ll see it one day. The palace of my family was built into the very mountain, with a city around it—all made by the Andinna for the Andinna. Everyone has rooftop landings, window perches, and patios. It’s made out of the very stone of the mountain and valley around it. It’s beautiful.”
“Then one day, I’ll see it,” she promised.
“Yes…” Alchan opened and closed his mouth, frowning at her.
“Out with it, Alchan,” she said, crossing her arms.
“There’s a little valley near the Capital, half a day’s flight, maybe a little farther. Someone tried to settle it once, but they found it too much work and not close enough to civilization. The old structures had been there as long as I can remember.”
“Why are you bringing it up now?”
“Well, it was enough land to sustain about twenty Andinna, but a noble family wanted to use it with a staff, and it never worked out for them because all twenty Andinna would have needed to work to maintain it. A good place to live if someone didn’t need…gold to purchase supplies or something.” Alchan groaned. “I want you to have it,” he declared.
“What?”
“Have you not thought about the future?” he asked softly. “I have, just a little. I’ve been thinking about this valley because no mativa wants it. It’s useless to a large community. No family could ever settle in it because there was no support from a community. But you don’t want a mativa. You never have. You’ll work with them, but you don’t need one. I was thinking…it would be a good place for you. A place where you ruled your own little portion of the land and those who lived in it.”
“That...that sounds wonderful, Alchan.” She could picture it, even though she had never seen the place. Wake up with her husbands and go hunting. If anyone of them wanted to, they could tend the land and grow crops for the family.
“Yeah…maybe Rain and I can retire there one day, too,” he said softly. “Once I have this…heir everyone wants, and she takes the throne, I could leave the spotlight and hide away with the people I care about.”
“Yeah, I really like that,” she admitted, nodding. “I wouldn’t mind having my brother for my neighbor one day.”
“I just wanted to tell you, to give you something to look forward to after the war is over. It’s technically my land, being the king, so it was in my power to do and—”
She lifted a hand. He stopped talking.
“Thank you, Alchan. One day, we’ll go look at this valley and see if it’s everything you’re making it out to be. I…I think that would be a good life for me.”
He gave her a small smile. “I’m glad.” He looked back at the group and sighed. “Time to get on the road.”
“Indeed,” she agreed, watching Zayden and Bryn taking the horses this morning. She would get to ride again in the afternoon, but she was looking at hanging out in the cart all morning. “Be safe,” she ordered her brother.
“You, too,” he said, patting her back gently, then walking to Rain and Lilliana. He got into the front of his cart and waved to Mave’s males and nemari, then started moving.
Mave jumped into the cart and smiled at Mat. Emerian was stuck driving.
“Let’s go. Alchan says we’re close.”
37
Mave
Mave and her males rode for two more days, entering a small forest at the edge of the large valley. Mave didn’t know why, but something felt oddly familiar as they rode through the forest on a thin path that barely fit the wagon.
Almost as if she walked it before, which was odd because she had never explored Anden. When she was very young, she had been born and protected in the Dragon Spine by her mother in a secret location near her father. As an adult, she explored those same mountains as she fought in her new war, probably retracing the steps of her parents. The farthest north she’d ever been was Kerit, and it was on the coastline. They were weeks and weeks away from the ocean now.
“Mave, you seem a little out of it.” Zayden was sitting in the driver’s seat of the wagon. “Want to talk about whatever is on your mind?”
“I feel like I’ve been here,” she answered softly. “I’m trying to remember if there’s any way I could have seen this path before, or if I’m mistaking it for another.”
“Ah, I know that feeling,” Zayden said, patting the seat next to him. “Come up here.”
She climbed from the back of the wagon, where she had been napping on their things, to get to his side. As she settled in, he leaned over and kissed her cheek.
“Does it look any more or less familiar now?” he asked, gesturing around them. Mave looked around, seeing she had the attention of all her males and Emerian, but nothing about the area stood out to her.
“No,” she said softly. Even still, she couldn’t shake the feeling she had seen this before.
Not long after, the trees gave way to a
clearing, and the view was spectacular. Mave gasped, realizing at that moment exactly where she had seen this vista before.
“We’re here,” she said softly, standing. Zayden grabbed her breeches to hold her and used his free hand to stop the wagon. “We’re here!”
“What are you talking about?” Mat asked, pulling his horse to a stop. “Mave?”
“This is the place I dream of with her,” Mave explained, jumping out of the cart. “This is it! I walk down that path. Everything is silent. I get to this spot, and she’s always waiting for me…” Mave walked to the very spot, leaving her males behind. She went farther down the path and visualized it. It wasn’t a bright day as it usually was in her dreams. It was grey and dreary, common in winter. She stopped right where Kristanya would stand.
“This is where you would…spar with her?” Bryn asked, frowning as he walked slowly toward her. “Why here?”
“I don’t know,” Mave answered, looking up to a view she knew by heart.
There were smaller mountains around them, but the massive peak that stood above the rest was right there. In her dreams, it was just a snow capped peak, but here, it was consumed by storms—the sort of storms that would send an Andinna out of the air and hurtling down to their death. She could see the clouds circling the top half of the mountain at breakneck speeds.
“What is that?” she asked, pointing.
“That’s where we’re going,” Mat answered, now off his horse and by her side.
“It normally doesn’t have a storm,” she whispered, shaking her head. “Why does it have a storm?”
“That mountain always has a storm,” Zayden explained. “Since the beginning of our people. Some say the male dragons created it to protect the last doorway to the next realm.”
“One of the last. Everyone gets to go when they die,” Bryn muttered. “Mave, that’s the home of the gods.”
“And the only place it doesn’t storm is in the realm beyond, according to legend,” Mat said, his voice strange. “Mave…”
“I wasn’t…dead. I was dreaming,” she said, knowing where his thoughts had led him, thanks to this new information they were giving her. “I would walk the path, and the world was silent. We’d meet right here. For a long time, she just attacked me. She killed me over and over. Eventually, we began to talk. Eventually, I figured out who she was. She never offered her name. I had to glean that for myself. After Lothen, it changed. She trained me. We sparred and talked, and…” Mave had almost begun to see the goddess as a mentor.
“What changed?” Mat asked softly.
“Kian died,” Mave answered. “And I broke, and she’s only visited me once since then. When I got back, I learned about Leshaun and this spy and…”
“What?”
“I asked if she thought we were going to lose. She said yes. She had so much hope in me, looking back, and I failed her.” Mave lowered her head. “But that’s okay because I’m going to force her to make me her Avatar. If it can give me the power to win this war, then…”
“I don’t like this,” Zayden growled. “I don’t like that you were dreaming of a literal goddess for two years without telling us. Telling anyone. I don’t like which goddess it is, either. Amonora and Lariana have taken active roles in our world for ages. Look at Varon, a fucking Avatar, which makes sense.”
“Why?” she asked, needing to understand why that information didn’t bother him.
“There’s almost always an Avatar of Amonora running around,” he said with a little snappiness. “One dies, you wait a couple of thousand years, and there’s another. I had no idea about Alchan’s family, our rulers, the queens being Avatars of Lariana, but we knew Lariana was…around. The males are in everything, the very lands and air around us. but Kristanya…”
“She is the inevitable end,” Bryn whispered. “And while we pray to her to guide us in war, war wasn’t her first domain. It was her last. Legends say it went darkness, death, then war, but legends are…legends. I’m with Zayden. I don’t like how any of this has played out. I don’t like the idea yer goin’ to chase down a goddess. I don’t like that ya want to be her Avatar when none of us understand what it could mean. For us and for ya.”
“Darkness, death, and war,” Mave murmured, looking at the mountain with narrowed eyes. “Well, that’s fine by me. Varon said she and I must have been dancing around each other for centuries, and that’s played a role in my life before, even unknowingly. I need answers about that, and she has them. She has everything I need to sleep easier at night. Everything I need to win this war.”
“I don’t like how much Varon thinks he knows, either,” Zayden snapped, now genuinely frustrated. “He’s asking you to go up and probably die, Mave!” Zayden pointed, his face getting a little red. “And what good does that do for anyone?”
“I’m going to die in Anden when we lose this war,” she pointed out to him, as she had before. “Why not die trying to find a way to win it? At least I’m finally at home in the land of my birth. It’s better than dying in Olost or whatever new place Alchan intends to send survivors when everything has fallen to pieces.” She looked back at the wagon and knew they should continue, but not right at that moment.
This spot was almost keeping her in place. She couldn’t pass it, just like she could never pass Kristanya in her dreams. No matter how much Mave wanted to walk forward and see what lay in front of her, she couldn’t get her feet to move in that direction.
“We camp here,” she decided. “One last night of reflection before we begin the final leg of this journey. Once we make it to the temple, you’ll stay behind, and I’ll climb.”
“You heard her,” Mat said as he turned to the other males. “We’re camping here. Mave is a powerful warrior, and while I’m scared, I won’t stop her from doing this. Neither will either of you. We’re her husbands, and this is the last moment we voice our concern. Mave is right. We’re all going to die in Anden this time. Why not make it for something worthwhile?”
Her heart threatened to burst from her chest as he spoke.
Why are you so good, Matesh? How was I so lucky to find you in the darkness?
She realized what she could do here. She looked down at a scar on her arm, given to her by Luykas.
He’s never going to leave my side, and we both know it. We’ve always known it. Through everything, my first husband has been consistent and brave. He’s helped me build a home and family, unlike any other. He’s grown as much as I have.
It was one of the two rituals she had asked Leshaun to teach her, hoping to learn away from the males in her life. She hadn’t intended to do it for years, maybe after the war. It had slipped her mind after losing Kian. He had only been her bonded and adopted father, but still, it had hurt. This bond she thought of now was much more binding, much more personal. It took over a year for Mave and Luykas to adjust.
But Mat and Luykas were not the same. They were different, and that was why she loved them—all of them.
It’s time.
“Mat?” she asked softly as Bryn and Zayden went to Emerian, waiting at their things.
“Yes?” He frowned down at her.
“Would you be willing…to blood bond with me?” she asked, staring at his emerald eyes, hoping he felt the same way. She was about to have to leave them and possibly die. They only had days left. This was something she wanted with him before it was too late. Her first husband, a male who helped bring her out of the darkness and showed her more things than she could have ever imagined.
“I…” He seemed stunned. “I would be honored to blood bond with you.”
She pulled her dagger from her belt and held it up.
“Right here. Right now.” She didn’t want to waste this moment.
He shoved his arm out. “Who taught you?”
“Leshaun,” she answered, her eyes welling up. She did her own arm first, cutting a shallow line from elbow to wrist. She handed the blade to him and noticed his hand was shaking as he took it. “We ca
n stop—”
“I have never wanted anything more than to be with you,” Mat whispered, his voice rough. “And now you’re giving me the chance to…to…I’m nervous,” he finally said, smiling. “I never thought I would find a woman I wanted to be with, who also let me live my life. I wanted…I guess what Kian had. You gave me so much more.” He started to cut. Because they were careful, the thin injuries they gave themselves weren’t as traumatic as the ones Luykas had done years ago.
She reached out and grabbed his elbow as he grabbed hers. Their cuts lined up, and Mave felt it happen. Intent was necessary in blood magic, and she wanted to bond with him. She wanted this life beginning to enter her veins to become a piece of her. Her vision changed, and the world around them faded away. She hadn’t been conscious when Luykas bonded them, and he had added his own magics into the mix.
This was the real thing. She and Mat stood in a black world. His eyes were fully black, not a trace left of his emerald green. Black veins grew from their arms as the blood gave up its energy to create and solidify the bond, moving to their hearts. Mave felt like a piece of something was added to her.
Then it was done, and they were back on the path, standing before a mountain that could tear them apart once and for all.
She let go of his arm and pulled him in for a kiss, yanking his chest piece to put him on her level. His arms wrapped around her waist, and she felt weightless as he lifted her. Throwing her legs around his hips, they kissed in their embrace, feeling the new current between them.
He loved her more than anything. She had known, but now she felt. She loved him in her way, taking note of how perfect and unique he was to her. His devotion and dedication were a touchstone in her life, his willingness to be at her side through everything—from the darkest pits to the top of the world, across oceans, and in battle.
She could always count on him.
Two males were cheering, and she hadn’t even realized it until they stopped. Mat chuckled as he put her down, turning her to see them as he did.
The Champion's Ruin Page 40