“A journey that will do its best to kill you. It’s winter, but even if it wasn’t, you would still freeze. As you go up, the storm grows worse. It’s constant snow, year-round. There’s nothing alive, so you’ll need to ration. Forget taking water. It will freeze. That’s really all I can say.”
Mave nodded. “Is that all?”
“That’s all,” Invia said softly. “Good luck to you. I’ll come for you when it’s time. You have free roam of the temple.”
Mave left, heart racing as she realized this was happening. No one could stop her now. She only had forty-eight hours to prepare. There was a long list of things she needed to get through. She found her husbands first, asking a priest to point them out. They were settling into a large room together.
“I leave in two days,” she told them. “I’ll spend tonight with you, but tomorrow night, I need to do something before I leave.”
“Come in here then, and stop wasting time,” Mat ordered.
She did as he asked, closing the door behind her. She fell into the bed, and they rolled around, enjoying each other’s bodies as if it would be their last time. Food was left outside the door, and they ate it between those moments.
They went and went until they collapsed, letting Mave have a dreamless sleep.
Kristanya had given her the one warning the goddess was willing to give.
There would be no other.
39
Mave
The next day, Mave got their help with preparing her bag. She would only take one. She planned on taking her weapons because she never left them anywhere. They packed in bags and bags of their jerky for her to eat on the climb. If she rationed, she could do an entire month with what they gave her. Mat added several bags of straight spice he liked to cook with.
“It’ll hurt but warm you. Just throw it in your mouth and eat it,” he explained. “It’s a stupid trick and will only fool your mind, but sometimes, that’s needed.”
“Or throw it on snow. Also, snow…make sure you only eat the freshest snow for water. Anything else could get you sick. Can’t even promise fresh would be better, but it’s the best option,” Zayden rambled.
“I know,” she whispered.
“I hate this,” he said, repeating what he’d been saying the entire trip. “But I know you have to do it.
“What’s your plan for tonight?”
“Emerian,” she answered, looking at the male who asked. Bryn raised his eyebrows. “I need to…say some things to him. Also, Leshaun taught me how to do his tatua, and…that’s mine to do. He’s earned them. He’s…just like you three. Honorable and aggravating.”
“Something changed in him after that mission,” Mat said softly.
“He became one of us.” She was positive, and it scared her. “So, I’m going to do his tatua, then release him from this…quest to protect me. He needs to become his own male. He’s there, right on the edge, and it’s time he’s released from the place he’s been stuck in.”
“He was barely your nemari for two-and-a-half seasons,” Bryn huffed. “Do you really think he’s ready?”
“Yes. And…” She stood up and went to the little glass peephole in their room, which gave them a view to the outside world. The sun was falling. “It’s time for me to deal with this. I’ve been avoiding him for too long, hoping for the right moment. I might die and never have the chance, which makes this…the perfect time. I need to settle my affairs.”
She kissed each of them and walked out. Stopping the first priestess she saw, she asked for two bowls, a large pitcher of water, and a washcloth. Mave had the dagger she needed.
“Also, do you know which room my nemari is in?”
“He’s there,” she said, pointing to the door across from her. “He hasn’t come out since your arrival. I’ll bring those items for you.”
“Thank you,” Mave said softly, nodding respectfully. She turned to Emerian’s door and knocked softly. When the male opened the door, she realized his eye patch was gone. She hadn’t seen it fully healed. He kept it bandaged on the road and wore an eyepatch at all times.
Her stomach twisted.
His pretty face was half-ruined, and it was her fault. One of his stunning ruby eyes was gone, and it was her fault. She didn’t know how she could live with herself, but she had to. She had to keep moving forward and hope what she was about to do would be anywhere near enough for both of them.
“Is there something you need?” he asked, his expression more distrustful than she had ever seen it. That was an impressive feat, one she wished she hadn’t accomplished. He’d come to Anden looking for a place to belong, and he had found it.
Until she turned away from him and gave him the coldness locked away in her heart. She had lashed out, and it was time to fix it.
“I leave at dawn. You and I need to speak if you’ll allow it.”
He moved, opening his door wider and lowered his head as she walked past him. They had given him a wonderfully big room as well. Maybe it was all they had in the temple.
“You told me to never see you again,” he whispered. “And I knew it would piss you off, but I couldn’t do as you asked.”
“Because you made a promise to my father,” she said with a sigh. “Thank you for upholding that promise to him. I’m here to free you from it.”
“Really?” He didn’t seem okay with it. She had hoped it would bring him some relief, but nothing about him seemed okay with her plans.
“Yes. I might die on this mountain, trying to do something no one else has ever done. I need to know you’ll continue finding your place in our world. And…in honor of that, tonight, I’ll give you your tatua.”
He walked by her, rubbing his face. “Are you?”
“Yes. If you want it from me, it’s time. You changed over our mission. Everyone has seen it. Right now, you are everything a male Andinna hopes to be—dedicated and honorable, willing to go to the edges of the earth for what you believe—”
“For a female,” he corrected softly. “A male Andinna is willing to go to the edges of the earth for his female.”
Her heart rate jumped again. “Excuse me?”
He turned back to her, looking annoyed, frustrated, and…disappointed.
“I…I naively hoped to catch your eye as your nemari. You asked me to look at females and try to find happiness, then Luykas dumped me onto you.” He laughed bitterly, leaning over to cover his face again. “I didn’t really understand what anything meant until you tried to turn me away.” He straightened, glaring at her when his hand dropped. “You were furious, and I decided I wasn’t going to budge. Even if you never wanted me, you were the Champion, my mentor, and the female I was going to dedicate my life to. Not just for your father, but for me because it all clicked at that moment.” He was yelling, and Mave realized she had vastly misjudged Emerian. Oh, he looked Elvasi, but the core of him was Andinna, just like Luykas. His fury at her was reasonable. She had hurt him, and now she was answering for it.
“You’re an unstoppable force, and I decided I would become an unmovable object. Even if you never turned my way, I would be there, watching your back because I promised, but I…I gave that promise because that was where I wanted to be. Not just for Kian, but for you.” He was breathing hard. She opened her mouth, but he continued. “Because that is my duty. To protect and defend the female who means something to me. Since I arrived in Anden, you were there. I watched you with your husbands and learned more from that than any lesson. Luykas gave me a chance. I look at him as an older brother I never had. That’s how they are. They give everything of themselves to you.”
“I never wanted you to…” She shook her head, unable to find the right words. “I never expected that from you, Emerian. I was supposed to train you. I was supposed to protect you. You were so…”
“Naïve,” Emerian growled. “Well, I’m not anymore. Now, you come in here and decide you’re done with me? Fine. You can send me away, but I’m always going to throw my body in the w
ay of an arrow coming for you. I’m always going to do everything I can to keep you alive. I don’t need to be in your life for that. You can pretend I don’t exist. Fine. Maybe one day I’ll meet a female and settle down, but that won’t stop me from dying for you. I don’t know how to turn it off now that it’s been turned on.”
A soft knock stopped Mave from replying, but in the end, she was grateful. It gave her valuable time to think about how to fix this. She answered the door, taking what she wanted from the priestess. Before Mave could close it, the priestess came in with two stools and put them down, bowing before she walked back.
Mave was now on the opposite side of something she had gone through before. Once, she had been in her room, and Mat had come. He offered her the last piece of her identity, or so she had believed at the time—acceptance into a culture that had rejected her for so long.
“Let’s do this,” she whispered, using a foot to push one of the stools to him. “It’s a ritual done in the nude. Mat can do it if you’re uncomfortable with me.”
“Are you comfortable with me?” he asked, his nostrils flaring. “After everything I just said?”
She laughed softly, realizing one little thing she needed to tell him, one little secret she had kept to herself and her female friends for months.
“Emerian…from the moment I saw you in the crowds coming off those ships, I have thought of you as pretty, beautiful, even.” Smirking, she put the bowls down and started to open her wrapped top. “Seeing you naked doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all. In fact, I used to watch you and Trevan train and think of taking off your armor piece by piece to reveal your smooth, dark skin. Your ruby eyes were something I could daydream about, even when I was satisfied by four males. You’re so attractive, I know several females who would kill for the chance, actually. I never tried to act on it or think about it once you became my nemari because it could have been seen as improper. Believe me when I say that has been a struggle at some points.”
That surprised him. Finally, she wasn’t the only one off-balance.
She continued to strip, not bothering to look away from him or hide herself. This wasn’t supposed to be an overtly sexual ritual. When she was nude, she sat down on the stool and poured water from the pitcher into the larger bowl.
“Sit,” she ordered when she saw the last of his clothing drop.
He did as she asked, his chest rising and falling as if he was trying to control his breathing.
She cut into her wrist and bled into the smaller bowl.
“This will sting,” she whispered. “Close your eyes and lean your head back.” She pushed his hair from his forehead before beginning the slow pour.
Intent is necessary in blood magic. Reveal the tatua on his skin and begin his story. This will be what Kristanya reads at his final judgment. This is Emerian of the Andinna and of the Elvasi, and his journey has now officially begun.
She hadn’t watched her own, but now she could finally see. She sat back down and saw how it roamed his skin and rested, creating the sharp and curved patterns that were his story, unique to him. She saw him wince, but he bore it.
Finally, the blood settled, then turned black and died, all of its energy expended. She lifted the bowl of water to his chest.
“Dunk your head forward,” she commanded in the gentlest voice she could. She helped wash him, and when his head came up, she gasped.
His tatua was the exact blood red she had believed it would be, matching his beautiful horns, wings, and tail. It stood out on his skin, making him look even more beautiful than he had been. It also added a level of danger to his look, the blood-red a promise to his enemies, he would spill theirs.
“How do I look?” he asked softly, touching his face. “I can’t see.”
“I forgot a mirror,” she said, regretting that. “But…” She reached out tentatively and began to trace the lines, and he leaned into it. “This is how it goes. It’s the same color as everything else, just like I hoped it would be.”
“Is that all you needed of me tonight? We’re done now?”
“Is there anything you want to resolve?” she asked in return. “If there was anything else, now is that time.”
Reaching out, he grabbed her hip, and she leaned into him, leaving her stool. He met her halfway.
“I feel bad,” he admitted. “Your husbands…”
“I’ve said goodbye to them already,” she promised.
If I’m going to die up there to Kristanya, I might as well take this shot while I have it. I might not get another chance.
He kissed her. It was nervous and tentative, but only for a second. She ran her hands through his hair and growled softly. His grip tightened. It was a combination of her climbing on his lap and him pulling her. Months of attraction poured between them, well-kept secrets now exposed. The raw sexual attraction between them would become unavoidable once this was all over. She knew she would never see him in the same way again, and not just because of the sex. Irreparably changed, Emerian now called to the dark, protective part of her heart.
She’d broken him, and she felt the need to give him something for that. And in the process, she would take this experience for herself, a memory she could look back on fondly if she died.
Or maybe a new member of her family if she lived.
We won’t know until it’s already decided.
He was hard under her. She ground against him, delighting in the feeling of him. His large hands held her tightly, his fingertips sliding over her skin as she taunted and teased him.
Their mouths were never apart, and it felt so wonderful as it slipped through her bonds, needing to share this feeling. In her bonds with two males, one close and one far, she felt humor. They had known and never mentioned anything to her. They had figured this would happen and rooted her on in silence. She knew in the morning, Mat would have already told Zayden and Bryn.
She gasped as those large hands slipped lower and grabbed her ass. He readjusted her and was able to slide halfway into her before lifting her off him again.
“Emerian,” she moaned.
Lifting them off the stool, he kicked it aside, making no mistake what he wanted. He took them to the floor, his hard body between her legs, shoved into her, and began to move. Mave clung to him, letting him have his way for the moment. She admired his arms—great to bite and hold on to. She admired his thin waist—the perfect width for her legs to wrap around.
He drove her to the first orgasm, pounding into her as she rode it, her body squeezing him. As it subsided, she decided to test his boundaries a little and go for her favorite position. She rolled him and began to ride, delighted by his growl and groan.
That was when she learned Emerian had some fight in him. He grabbed her hips and pulled her off. Wanting to see what he would do, she didn’t fight. This night was about her knowing Emerian, not making him a husband. She didn’t need to claim him. She just wanted to enjoy him and could leave the rest for when she came back alive. Mave found herself on her knees, with him behind and over her, sliding in from the back.
He thrust into her with power she didn’t expect, the level of roughness making her only want more. She pushed back on him, wanting him deeper and harder, and he gave her that, furious and frantic, hammering into her like his life depended on it.
Mave hit that delicious point where all she could do was scream and beg for him to give her relief. She had never expected this of Emerian, but she was glad it was there.
He pushed her flat to the floor, her legs open for him to continue thrusting into her. His hands on either side of her head, she held his arms, her nails biting into them until he bled.
Then it changed, and he gave her a handful of purposeful, deep thrusts, overfilling her, making her gasp, and sending her over the edge into bliss as her body began to shake from the pleasure. He roared and shoved in one last time, harder than before, and finished. She felt him come inside her as sweat dripped onto her back.
It took them several mo
ments to regain any sort of coherent thought. He sprawled out, and she decided to lie over him and enjoy the physical intimacy.
“What am I to you now?” he asked softly. Her eyes had been drifting closed, and the question made them fly open.
“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “That’s a question we have to answer if I come back.”
“And if you don’t?”
“Then we were a pleasant moment for each other, and I hope you move on and are happy with some female who isn’t always trying to die for some far-off goal like freedom,” she whispered, kissing his neck.
His arms wrapped around her and moved her further on top of him. He was hard again, and she sank down on him, already sore, but it only added its own pleasure.
“Then I guess we need to enjoy this while we can,” he whispered.
“I guess we do,” she murmured, riding him.
Mave stood at a massive ornate door the next morning, four males behind her and High Priestess Invia before her.
“Once you go through this door, you either reach the top of the mountain, or you die,” she said softly. “Cut your palm and touch it.”
Mave pulled out the dagger she had used the night before and looked back at the males.
Mat stood tall, looking as prepared as he would ever be for this. He stood suspiciously close to Emerian as though he was planning on pouncing the male if it was needed. Zayden and Bryn were there, stoic and silent.
“If I don’t come back, promise me one thing,” she whispered. “I know you’ll hate it, but do it for me. Get Senri out of Anden. Before it all goes to hell, get Senri, Willem, and Gentrin to leave. They have a baby on the way. I won’t accept my little sibling dying over my failure.”
“You’re not going to ask us to leave, too?” Zayden raised an eyebrow.
The Champion's Ruin Page 42