The little girl kept twisting in her seat and looking at Mrs. Simms wistfully. Which, of course, Mrs. Simms encouraged with her questions for the child.
Eight hours of this just might kill her.
It wasn’t just the loss of Nugget she’d felt so keenly, but that of Joseph. Every time she thought of Nugget, she couldn’t help but think of Joseph. And while she’d strengthened her relationship with her father, and their conversations were no longer as stilted, he didn’t talk to her the way Joseph did. He didn’t see her the way Joseph did.
How had finding his father’s silver blinded him so?
Since rescuing her and Nugget from the mine, Joseph had barely talked to her.
So why did the thought of leaving him break her heart?
* * *
“I don’t know what I’m going to do with the lot of you.” His sister Mary smacked Joseph on the back of the head with a newspaper as she joined him at breakfast.
The table was full and set for everyone to join them, but so far, at half past the time they were due, Mary was the first to arrive.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He stared into his coffee already knowing her answer. He’d made a mess of things, thinking that this transition for his family would be easy.
Mary reached past him for one of the hotel’s fine biscuits. “The girls are still pretending that the little one doesn’t exist, and Daniel eggs them on. Then there’s the two of you. The little girl, who won’t say a word, and you, who’s got the personality of a wet rag in a rainstorm.”
He looked up at her. “A wet rag in a rainstorm? That’s the best you can do?”
“You know what I mean.” Mary took a sip of her tea and stared at him. “It’s like the life has been completely sucked out of you. Sometimes I think we were better off—”
“Don’t say it.” Joseph glared at her. “After everything we’ve all been through, everything I’ve done to get us all together.”
He’d failed, that’s what. The air in the dining room had suddenly grown a lot warmer. Possibly from Mary breathing down his neck. As he adjusted his collar, a bundle of energy and tears ran into his arms.
“I hate them. Papa said they’d love me, but they’re horrible and mean, and I want Annabelle.”
The only person Nugget would speak to was him. And mostly it was to ask if she could see Annabelle, or if Annabelle had written. Her train wasn’t scheduled to leave for another hour yet, and already his baby sister wanted her to write.
He looked up at Mary, a silent plea for help.
“Nanette, you need to sit in your own seat.”
Nugget looked up and glared at her older sister. “It’s Nugget.”
“Nanette is a good name, and it’s listed in the family Bible as your given name, so you’ll learn to answer to it.”
Joseph rubbed the bridge of his nose. Ever since Mary found that entry in their pa’s Bible, she’d insisted on calling Nugget Nanette, which had only made things worse. Annabelle would have found a way to smooth things over.
But he couldn’t impose on her, not when it meant delaying her own dreams. No, he’d find a way to do it without her. After all he’d put her through, nearly getting her killed in the process, he owed her the freedom of her own life.
“Annabelle thought Nugget was a fine name,” Nugget said, sticking her finger in the jam.
Mary turned her attention back to Joseph. “I would have at least liked to have met Annabelle. I can’t imagine why she couldn’t have had the decency to respond to my invitation to supper. She could have given me some idea as to how to manage Nanette. Instead, I’ve got to deal with her and five mutinous siblings who are all furious that you’d do this to them.”
Joseph finally looked at his sister. “I didn’t deliver the invitation.”
“I beg your pardon?” The glare he got was no worse than he deserved. But he couldn’t have borne it any other way.
“I didn’t deliver it. She was busy with preparations for her trip.”
“And she couldn’t have delayed it by a few weeks, or even a few days?”
Mary’s tone was enough to set the fire back in him. “It wasn’t her choice. It was mine. I made her go.”
Every morning, he questioned that decision. Wondered if he’d just taken her up on her offer of helping ease the transition with Nugget, if maybe his entire family wouldn’t be ready to kill him right about now. If maybe they could write, and she’d...she’d what? Be willing to give up everything she’d dreamed of to raise his siblings? No. He couldn’t do that to Annabelle.
Joseph reached for the pot to pour himself another cup of coffee, but Mary took it from him. “Now why would you do a stupid thing like that? It’s as plain as anyone can see that you’re in love with her. Mooning about, but dodging anytime you catch a glimpse of her so she doesn’t notice you.”
“I’m not the man for her,” he said quietly. “She’s wanted this trip for a long time, and I’m not going to stand in her way.”
Mary shook her head, her face filled with disgust. “You didn’t even tell her how you felt, did you?”
“There’s no point.” He refused to meet her eyes. “I know how she feels about mining. Annabelle doesn’t want this life, and even if I were to convince her to stay for a while, she’d resent not getting to live her dreams.”
“Is this because you asked her, or because you assumed and made the decision for her?”
He hadn’t asked Annabelle. In fact, he’d pretty much pushed her out and forced her to go on that trip even when she’d tried to offer to delay it for him.
“You don’t understand.” He addressed Mary while hugging Nugget to him and smoothing her hair. “My responsibility lies with all of you. And Annabelle—”
“Could help you with that responsibility if you’d give her the chance. Why are all men so pigheaded as to think that they need to make the decisions for us?”
Joseph had never known Mary to be a bitter woman. But the anger spewed at him wasn’t just about his treatment of Annabelle, but of something else.
“What’s really going on? How is this situation with Annabelle suddenly about all men?”
Mary dabbed her lips with her napkin, then tossed it on the table. “Because it is. And because from everything I’ve seen and heard, you’ve found yourself a good woman to love and rather than going after it, you’re hiding behind the excuse of providing for a family that’s got everything it needs. You are just like Pa.”
Her barb hit him firmly in the part of his heart that was still struggling to forgive a man who didn’t deserve it. The table shook as Mary pushed back in her seat and stood. Even Nugget raised her head from his shoulder and looked up at her.
“Worst of all, you’re hurting an innocent little girl because of your pride. Maybe Aunt Ina did take the switch to the younger ones more often than I’d like. But at least she never broke anyone’s heart with her cruelty.”
Mary stormed out of the restaurant, leaving Joseph alone with a teary-eyed little girl and a table full of food with no one to eat it.
No one had ever accused Joseph of being cruel before. Nor had anyone compared him to their pa. He’d only thought to spare Annabelle the trouble of being forced to decide between the duty of caring for a child who needed her and the dream she’d been putting aside for too long. But had he asked his pa about his reasons for his actions, would he have said something different than what Joseph had assumed?
Had his pa tried to get their ma to move the family west? Had he fought his feelings for Nugget’s ma? Wes painted his pa as an honorable man who rubbed people the wrong way for not taking the side they wanted him to.
Joseph had done a lot of judging, and misjudging, as he’d been quick to accuse Annabelle of. But this last judgment was one he needed to let go of. Joseph needed to forgive his pa, and in forgiving, needed to let go of his own ex
pectations of people and let them make their own decisions.
He looked down at Nugget, a child too young to understand the pain of his thoughts. “You never even got to say goodbye, did you?”
Nugget shook her head, messy half-curled hair that spoke of the others’ neglect bouncing in every direction. Mary was trying, he’d give her that, but he could see the strain in her eyes when she looked at Nugget or had to do anything for their sister’s care.
“Are they terribly mean to you?”
In front of Joseph, they put on a good front, but he’d seen past it. He’d just been helpless to do anything about it. With getting everything ready for their arrival, and trying to procure a house for the family, and putting things in order with the mine...
Nugget’s slow nod tore at him.
Those things should have been secondary. And in his pride, he’d ignored the fact that Annabelle would have been able to help him. He hadn’t even given her the consideration to discuss it.
“I’m sorry, Nugget.” He pressed the little girl to his chest. “How about we try to catch that train to say goodbye?”
Nugget jumped off his lap and ran for the door.
Harrison Avenue was overly congested, already filled with wagons and people and more activity than he’d imagined normal for a day like today.
The train whistle blew when they were two blocks from the station.
Surely Annabelle was onboard by now.
Nugget’s pace slowed. “It’s too late.”
“Sometimes they get delayed. We’ll still try.”
His spirits sagged when they arrived at the platform just as the train was pulling out.
He calculated how much money he had on him. Based on getting his own family here, Annabelle would most likely have to spend a day or two in Denver to catch whichever train would take her east. So if he bought a ticket for the next train, they could get to Denver and then...
Surely they’d have a few hours to talk.
Nugget let go of his hand.
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry.” He turned so he could bend down and talk to her, but she was gone.
“Nugget?” Joseph spun, looking around the station for the little girl. Though the train had departed, people still milled about, catching up on their business, and carting luggage to and fro.
“Nugget!”
He walked in the direction of the departing train. Had she run after it? Joseph picked up his pace, scouring the area for any sign of her. A porter laden with baggage bumped into him, blocking his path.
“Watch it!” the guy yelled as Joseph darted around him.
And then he stopped short.
There was Annabelle, kneeling in front of Nugget, her back to him. He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself as he approached.
“I cannot imagine what has gotten into your hair. You must’ve been tossing and turning all night to undo your curls and have only half your head fixed.”
Annabelle put her hand in Nugget’s hair, mussing it slightly before declaring, “Well, there’s nothing that can be done, I suppose. We’ll braid it, and you’ll still be cute as a button. What do you think of that?”
Nugget didn’t say anything, but looked up at him, causing Annabelle to turn her head slightly until she noticed him. “Oh!”
Annabelle stood, then took Nugget’s hand before facing him. “It seems like you’ve let her run absolutely wild since I’ve seen you last.”
Her words rushed past him. “What are you... You’re supposed to be...”
She looked at him long and hard. “I never could tolerate a bully. And frankly, your behavior toward me in regards to my leaving is nothing short of being bullied. Nugget needs me, and I’m not going to shirk my responsibility toward her just because you act like a bear about it.”
Joseph closed his eyes. So that was it. More of Annabelle doing her duty. The worst of it was, he almost wanted to let her. But he couldn’t. Didn’t she understand that as much as everyone wanted to make him the bad guy, this was killing him?
“She’s not your responsibility.” He opened his eyes and looked at her. “You need to live your life, Annabelle. Follow your dreams.”
“Of course she’s my responsibility. I love Nugget, and I...” Annabelle looked away for a moment, then back at him. “Well, you don’t leave the ones you love. Not when they need you and you need them.”
The lump in his throat made it hard for Joseph to swallow, let alone speak. Annabelle had already done this for her father. And now for Nugget? It was too much.
But what was he supposed to do, to say? The selfish side of him wanted to keep her here, to be close to him, to help Nugget, to help Mary figure out how to keep peace, to...to do dozens of things, all of which had everything to do with him and his needs and none to do with hers.
“Please, Annabelle,” he finally said. “I’ll buy you a ticket for the next train. This is what you’ve always wanted, and I—”
“You have no idea what I’ve always wanted.” She stamped her foot in such an insolent way that he wanted to kiss her. But that was beside the point.
“Yes, I admit that when we first met, I wanted nothing more than to leave this place and stay with my aunt, and discover the world outside. But I’ve grown since then. I’ve changed. And I can’t believe that you’d think that the woman standing before you is still that silly girl who thought of nothing more than wearing the latest fashions.”
Her words shamed him. Mostly because he’d tried so hard not to fall in love with that silly girl, but as he watched her grow into the woman standing before him, he’d realized that there was nothing about her, including her silliness, that he didn’t love. He hadn’t given her the courtesy of an explanation, and now it was time to make good on changing his earlier regrets.
“All right, Annabelle.” Joseph took a deep breath. “What do you want?”
The triumphant grin she gave him nearly slayed him. Did she have any idea what that grin did to a man? Of course she did.
Joseph shook his head, trying to rid himself of all inappropriate thoughts, especially the urge to kiss her senseless.
“I want to stay here and see to it that Nugget is properly settled in with the rest of her family. I want to go back to the camp and spend more time with Gertie, and maybe get Polly to start talking to me again. I want you to talk to me like you used to, and for us to be friends again.”
Friends. Joseph wanted to kiss Annabelle senseless, and she wanted to talk about their friendship.
“I’m sorry, Annabelle. That’s not possible. I can’t be friends with you.”
“Oh.” Her face fell, and those pretty little dimples that punctuated every point she made disappeared. “I don’t know what I did to offend you, but maybe I could—”
“You misunderstand.”
He hated the thought of baring his heart like this, of putting himself out for Miss Annabelle Lassiter to reject, but he also couldn’t bear the thought of her feeling guilty over ruining yet another relationship.
“I can’t settle for friendship with you. Not anymore. I see you differently. Not as a friend, not as a sister, but in such a way that is entirely inappropriate for...”
Were her cheeks turning pink? And, in the difficulty of him explaining a rather embarrassing and untenable position, a saucy grin twitched at the edges of her lips.
Annabelle was actually enjoying this.
Worse, when he looked over at Nugget, the little imp had started giggling.
But perhaps worst of all, others had stopped what they were doing and were completely, without any shame, eavesdropping on the conversation.
Joseph straightened. “Well... I think that about covers it.” He held out his hand. “Nugget, come on. We need to...”
Escape was the first thought that came to mind. But Nugget stood there, shaking her head.
&n
bsp; “You are never going to get her to marry you like that. You have to get romantical and tell Annabelle that you love her, then take her in your arms, and—”
“Nugget!” Both he and Annabelle said it in unison.
And when Annabelle knelt to the little girl, her face still red, Joseph understood.
“I told you why I sent you away,” he said quietly. “You thought it was because my regard had changed. The truth of the matter is that I wanted you to stay, desperately. Not for Nugget’s sake, though that’s a bonus, but for mine.”
Annabelle finally looked up at him, murmured softly to Nugget, then stood.
“I thought that the noble thing to do when you love someone is to give up what you want for what they want,” Joseph continued. “But I didn’t find out what you wanted, only made assumptions based on what you’d told me. I love you, Annabelle. And I wanted your dreams for you more than I wanted mine. I’m sorry that it caused you pain.”
“Of course it caused me pain. Because I love you, too, and I didn’t know that you loved me back. So it’s all forgiven. I’m here now, and here is where I will stay.”
They stood there in silence for a brief moment, interrupted by a tiny voice that asked, “Are you going to kiss her now?”
So he did.
Epilogue
One year later
Annabelle stood on the porch, watching for the children to arrive home. At half past three, they should have been there nearly a quarter of an hour ago. She smoothed the apron over her rounded belly and debated about taking it off. There was still so much baking to be done for tonight’s church supper. Maddie was having a tougher time keeping up with the miners’ needs, so Annabelle had agreed to do some of the cooking at her home.
The men were due at any time to help carry everything to the church. Now that Annabelle’s condition was more advanced, both Joseph and her father said she shouldn’t be lifting heavy things. Which meant relying on others helping her for a change. But as she glanced back down the street, worries about whether or not the children had met with foul play took over.
Rocky Mountain Dreams & Family on the Range Page 23