by Suzanne Hart
I called my sister, Mia.
“Who? You’ll have to speak up, Mikey. I’m just getting home now. Papa is sick again, really sick. Where are you anyway? Why won’t you just go home for god’s sake. Are you high again?”
She always had a way of sounding more like a parent than my twin sister when I called her without warning. I usually wanted money or somewhere to stay. I had decided to try and warn her about Claridge. I hadn’t liked what he’d just told me one bit, about him maybe seeing himself as a majority stakeholder in my sister’s business.
“Cla-ri-d-ge!” I repeated slowly, trying badly not to sound drunk or high. “A man called Claridge, have you ever heard of him? Apparently Mama had some dealings with him when we were little. He’s in finance.” I wanted to test the water before sounding any more crazed than I probably already did.
Mia was very diplomatic by nature, and it had helped her grow her business. On the other hand, she didn’t take kindly to timewasters or bullshitters. I got the distinct impression I had placed myself in the latter category by calling her late. She could also read my mind and it was true I also wanted to hit her up for some money. I needed to get away from Bernardi and his drugs. It was doing my head in and I was feeling addicted rather than happy right at that particular moment.
“Mikey, I’m sorry baby brother, but it’s time the family made you see how much you’re hurting yourself. Papa’s told everyone not to give you anything, not a dime. You can go home and be fed and cleaned up but…”
I’d heard the sermon so many times. I couldn’t stand to hear it again. It always annoyed me more when I heard it from Mia. I thought, I always thought, of all people, she would’ve had my back a little more.
She’s just like all of them. Just like that bastard, doing whatever he says. She’s a fucking billionaire for Christ’s sake! What would ten million be to her, to help out her own brother!?
Feeling sorry for myself, I vowed to disown them all again, my family. What family? Mama was the only one I had ever loved, she was kind and caring, she’d set up a fund for me, which she had to keep secret or else my father would have taken that too, just like he took everything else.
No. I would go back to the Bernardis. Screw the Leone name; I was better off there anyway. At least they were giving me everything I wanted, my family read me the riot act every time I even reached for a beer on a hot day or some cough medicine in winter. I decided I would just have to be more clever at trying to extract information. Maybe I’d try some more of Claridge’s reverse psychology on Carlo Bernardi.
I stopped walking up the long, graveled path. Beaming headlights swung out in front of me, cutting across the drive and giving my shadow an eerie length. I jumped out of sight, into some bushes until the large dark car had passed. I knew it would be the men from the club. They would be back to get some reinforcements to go look for me and to give the club owner a pounding.
I waited until the car had passed, then decided to maybe wait until the place was a little more quiet before finding a way back in. I jumped as my cell buzzed. It was Natalia.
Of all the times to call me. Ah shit, why now?
I had to answer her. I just had to. I fidgeted for the baggie of powder as I answered, brushing my teeth with the bitter powder and trying to get a snort in at the same time. Natalia politely pretended not to notice.
“An island? Uh, okay. Who told you that?” I thought I must’ve heard her wrong, but it was hard to tell, she was nearly hysterical and had obviously been crying.
I could hear her pacing, the sharpness of her breathing echoed in the quick two-step she was doing as laps of a patio or the kitchen; it sounded like.
“Never mind, it doesn’t matter. It’s just every time I call the house, or you, I either don’t get an answer, or my family tells me some mumbo jumbo about where you and my father are. It’s like you’re joined at the hip, like twins.” That one hurt. I’m sure she hadn’t meant anything by that.
I was scratching around in my brain, really trying to think of something positive to say, to be honest with her and let her know that it was mainly her father’s men I was spending time with, and that they were babysitting me and seemed to be following strict orders to keep me drunk and high, but I couldn’t tell Natalia that.
“I’m pregnant.”
“I haven’t even seen your dad for like, uh. Let me see… I think I…”
“Mikey, I’m pregnant, with our child. Did you hear what I just said!?” I dropped the phone in the bushes.
“…my mother and then there’s Felix to consider. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to pressure you, but I need you Mikey. I need you here, with me. For us.”
I’d only caught the last part of what she had said, having to fish around for the phone in the dark. Then I accidentally hung up, still trying to juggle the phone back into my hands.
I was calling her back after she didn’t pick up a third time, when I felt like I was flying. I was lifted off the ground from behind by two of Bernardi’s biggest guards.
“Here he is! What are you doing all the way out here, sir? Mr. Bernardi is waiting for you. Little bit of a holiday coming up.”
I began to struggle, to cry out. I felt a viciously firm hand over my mouth and nose. I felt the sting of something damp then my whole world turned upside-down. I enjoyed a good drug, sure, but whatever was on that rag was a one-way ticket to crazy town and I was the newly elected mayor.
Everything went double, then triple. I couldn’t see properly and felt like the ground had disappeared from underneath me. I screamed out loud in terror. The distorted faces and laughter of the two huge men became a whirl of colors and terrifying shapes. I blacked out from sheer fright.
When I had come to again, I was back inside the Bernardi mansion. My old room. One of the thugs was in a chair opposite me. I could hear another two, at least, right outside the door, laughing and joking amongst themselves. It was a clear sign none of the Bernardi’s were at home. The men would never be so casual if the boss or his family was about. That worried me more than anything.
“You feeling better, tripper-boy?” The huge man laughed. It was clear he’d been helping himself to the stash of drugs on the table in between us, all of them had by the sounds of it.
I moved nervously in my seat, leaning forward to fish for my phone. I heard the clicking of a handgun. Looking up, beefcake had my phone in one of his giant hands and a nine millimeter in the other, pointing at my face.
“Looking for this?” he sneered.
I relaxed back into the seat, I knew there was no point fighting or resisting anything with these guys.
“Mr. Bernardi wants us to keep you entertained until he’s ready for you on the island.” I had no idea what the guy was talking about, figuring he was in a worse state mentally than I was. They all sounded a little unhinged.
I don’t know what’s in that dope, but I don’t like it.
I was eying my phone as he put it down in front of him, chuckling to himself in satisfaction. I was just starting to think I was trapped again, when the huge man turned a terrible shade of gray-green. He started to sweat and shiver. He stood bolt upright, trying to cry out, clutching at his chest then fell forward on his face. He was dead.
I didn’t waste a moment, snatching my phone back and stowing it in my jeans. I took his gun and raced over to the doorway, crouching beside a table as the door swung inward. Two men rushed over to their fallen friend.
They spotted me and made for me, I pretended to be having a reaction to the drugs, rolling my eyes back and thrashing on the floor in front of them. I could hear their panic as one raced downstairs, the other feeling for a pulse on the huge weight in the center of the room.
Before I could stop myself, I was rushing behind him, swiping at the back of his head with the butt of the handgun. He yowled in pain, but didn’t fall, not like in the movies. So I hit him again and he just stood up and turned, growling at me, checking the crimson stream flowing from the b
ack of his head before preparing to charge me.
I changed tactics. I didn’t want to, but I resigned to shooting him. I raised the gun, level with his head as he pounced. Just before I fired, in mid-air, his eyes fluttered, then closed. He fell, limp and harmless about an inch from my feet.
I heard other feet on the stairs, outside and down the hall. I dashed across the hall, into an empty room and, locking the door, frantically dialed Natalia. I prayed she would answer. It was time she knew everything. There was no way I could do anything on my own anymore. I needed her then, more than ever.
Thirty-Seven
Natalia
When we reach the bottom, when we feel as though there’s nothing else that could happen to make things worse, we develop faith. We either have faith that it will only get better, or we have faith in the continued downfall of everything. Either way, faith wins out every time.
I had been shocked, angry and upset when Mikey had hung up after I told him I was pregnant to him. I began to do what I had always done emotionally, and it was useless. It wasn’t working for me anymore. I felt something shift, and almost snap into place inside me. I felt a new strength which replaced my desperation. I wasn’t afraid of the outcome anymore. I had faith that it would and could only get better.
And it did.
All the shock, the bitter disappointment and the impending loss I felt after speaking with my mother, was gone in an instant. Replaced by the relief I felt from the crackled and desperate sound of Mikey’s voice.
“Natalia! Don’t hang up and be quiet! I don’t have much time. It’s not too late to change everything, I just have to tell you the whole truth.” I had my mouth opened to speak, but closed it again.
“Natalia?!”
“I’m here Mikey,” I said, “I’m listening.”
It was hard to keep up with what sounded like a drug-induced rambling and, if it wasn’t for Mikey mentioning Claridge’s name, I would have thought everything he told me was a paranoid delusion. It wasn’t.
It was clear to me that Claridge had used Mikey, was trying to use him, like he had used me. We were both being played against each other with a secrecy, with the threat of terrible things happening if we didn’t get him the information on my family that he wanted.
I almost laughed, but it wasn’t funny. Mikey had no chance of getting anything like Claridge wanted, not in a million years, and I think Claridge knew it.
So why test him? Why attempt to even get him to do it?
Mikey answered this for me. “He’s been playing everyone, probably even your father, who knows!? I think his plan is to get everyone to get intel, and then give him whatever it is exactly that he wants by threatening all of them into silence, hoping that at least one of his experiments will deliver…”
He rambled and raved. Sometimes it was clear to me what was happening, and other times, Mikey went off on a tangent about his own family, about doctors and lawyers who he thought were working for Claridge as well. It all sounded too far-fetched on the one hand, but frighteningly real on the other.
The one clear factor in everything was Claridge and his desire, his craving for the list of trustees, for both families, it seemed. What anyone would do with that sort of information was beyond me, but it was clear that Claridge was prepared to do anything to get it, and at any price.
Mikey seemed to think he still had a plan, but it was all mixed up, confused. Like he was. I didn’t want to interrupt him, but I had to make sure he had heard me when I called him the first time.
“Mikey, I’m pregnant! Please tell me you can understand that!”
He was quiet for a second, then he shooshed me. I could hear movement in the background, doors opening and closing, then he whispered to me.
“I heard you, Natalia. I think it’s great news! I can be the father I never had to somebody special. I hope you want to keep it?”
I smiled with joy and relief; it was exactly what I’d hoped and prayed he would say. I tried to contain myself. I knew he must’ve been in some sort of danger calling me.
“Where are you?” I asked, as quietly as I could.
“I’m in your dad’s place, he’s not here, but his men have been dipping into the drugs, a bad batch or uncut, I’m not sure. They’re all acting weird and very scary. I have to go! But just know that everything…”
“Mikey, just listen!” I said, cutting him off. “Don’t worry about Claridge. I couldn’t tell you before and I can’t tell you everything just now, but just forget about Claridge for now. Just keep yourself alive, go along with whatever bullshit my father puts in front of you, okay? Can you do that for me?” His silence wasn’t what I needed. “Mikey! I have what Claridge wants, I have it! Just go along with it all if you can’t get away. I’ll find a way to get you out, I promise.”
“How are you…?”
“I can’t say right now, it would take too long. Get going and make like everything’s normal. And darling?”
“Yeah?” Mikey asked sheepishly.
“Don’t worry. Have faith, it’s all going to be alright, I promise.”
It didn’t bother me to hear the phone die. I felt my mother’s hand stroking my hair back as she smiled down at me. I had been kneeling at her feet, hugging her in her chair, talking, for the whole afternoon.
My mother spoke now. “It’s a shame we didn’t connect earlier, Natalia, but sometimes things just happen that way. I’ll get you the information you need, the information this Claridge wants. Don’t you worry about that!”
There was such authority, such conviction in her voice, I couldn’t help but feel I had missed out on so much in my life by not being closer to her. Papa had seen to it that, although she lived in the same vast house, it was easier to keep her out of the way, even from her own children. What he hadn’t counted on was her determination and cleverness at being simply who she was, before he had even met and married her.
“I need you to know Natalia,” she continued, still stroking my hair and pulling me a little closer to her, “that you needn’t be worried. You’ll never want for anything. I’ve seen to that.” I looked up at her, puzzled. Her eyes shone as she spoke. “Your father, brute of a man that he is, thinks he’s the one with all the brains, too. Yes, he is clever in a lot of ways, but he lost his spark, his manhood years ago.” I was looking doubly confused by now. Mother laughed softly. “Not that kind of manhood, I mean his compassion and his wisdom as a man. He turned to drugs and drink for a time, then there was that business with Antonio Leone and his wife. It was the start of the end for him. I always thought it would come quicker, by some other means, but I’m delighted it will be me --us who finally deliver the blows to end his pathetic and murderous rampage.”
I shifted myself, my arms and legs were numb from sitting for so long. I stood up, stretched a little and sat back down in a chair near to Mama. What she was telling me made about as much sense as Mikey’s story, his plans. But I had a strong feeling my mother’s would be a more positive outcome.
“Did you ever love him?” I asked innocently.
She looked at me, her eyes going cold for a moment. “No. I can safely say that I never did. His whole lineage was made up of a bunch of thugs, bullying my family into joining forces; for their own gain I might add. They had no real money. You see, Natalia, all the Bernardi money was from our side, my side of the family.” She began to grin again.
“So how did Papa make all the money, all this?” I asked, opening my arms to describe not just the house in L.A., but all the property and other wealth the whole family and I, had grown up with. It did frighten me a little. Mama was making it sound like she was going to ruin my father and that there’d be no money left.
Reading my thoughts, she calmed me straight away. “Oh, there’s plenty of money, dear. Legal money too. And it’s all mine. He has lots of shady deals and even more money and assets he has stolen point-blank from people. It’s this that Claridge is after, the offshore stuff. It’s worth millions, probably hundreds of
millions, but it’s in the hands of trustees.
I was still struggling with the information, finances were never my thing. I could spend it, yes. Manage it and create it? No. Not yet.
“Never you mind just now, dear. Just stay safe and healthy, with the little one, the little Diamond on the way!” she said, smiling broadly again.
“But what about you, about…?”
She sighed, a look of resignation replacing joy. “It’s just bad timing, Natalia. I might make it, who knows! But the doctors here seem to agree with the doctors everywhere else. I don’t have long. It’s my heart. It’s just too weak, even surgery is out of the question. I wouldn’t survive it.”
I felt myself getting upset again, wracking my brain with silly, little girly ideas to make sure my Mama was okay, to make sure she wouldn’t die.
She can’t die; we’ve only just gotten to know each other.
We held each other for a time, shedding some more tears before she announced she had to leave again. “I have a nine o’clock flight, plus, I have to organize some paperwork so you can save your man and give that Claridge everything he wants.”
“So we’re really just going to sell Papa out like that? Pull it out from under him?”
She smiled a wistful smile again as she went to the door. “Perhaps… and perhaps not. Leave that part to me. Just be ready to get the documents to Claridge when I send them.”
“Will you be safe?” I asked. She frowned. “Ta-ta dear, I’ll see you soon!”
And she was gone. I stood in the hallway, stunned for a few minutes. I heard her large car pull away and was left with the silence of the house. Her perfume and the echo of her words mixing with the silence, a vague but definite reminder that it was indeed, all happening. I hadn’t dreamt it.
I felt a new hope inside me instead of fear now. I wasn’t scared of the next generations of Bernardis or Leones. I thought, between us, Mikey and I could raise a family which could start fresh, away from the pain and suffering caused by their way of life, and the lives of those affected by them.