by Sarah Picson
With her pride lying in a trampled heap on the ground, begging this woman for answers, Ellie scrutinized her for a reaction, but Scarlette’s head remained stubbornly still.
‘It’s a simple question, for God’s sake!’ Ellie shouted, heat coursing through her blood.
Scarlette turned to face Ellie, cigarette dangling from her manicured fingers, bosom heaving in her tight, white top.
‘You come here and start shouting at me. Interrogating me,’ she hissed. ‘Why should I answer any of your pointless questions, you nosy cow?’
‘If you’re cheating with my fiancé, you owe me answers.’
Scarlette took a step forward.
‘I owe you nothing. And if you ask me one more damn question, I’m going to scratch those pretty little eyes right out of your head.’
Ellie curled her fists up so tightly that her nails dug into her skin.
‘Scarlette!’
A man’s voice sliced through the air behind them. It was Joe standing at the back door of the pub.
‘Come on, it’s getting busy in here.’
Scarlette curled her lip and stubbed her cigarette out on the wall, pushing past Ellie as she made her way back inside.
As the door banged shut, Ellie considered going after her, but the cold look in Scarlette’s eyes had said it all. She wasn’t going to get anywhere with her.
Leaning against the wall, Ellie’s shoulders sagged as she tried to control the rising feeling of nausea that rolled over her body.
‘Ellie?’ Her head snapped up to see Dominic crossing the car park. ‘What are you doing here?’
She pushed herself away from the wall, planting herself evenly on her feet.
‘I was talking to Scarlette.’
Dominic’s brows knitted in the middle.
‘Ellie,’ called a familiar voice. ‘Haven’t seen you in a while.’
Murphy appeared from behind a van.
‘Murph,’ Dominic said, with a nod
‘Hey mate,’ he replied, clapping Dominic on the back.
Dominic didn’t take his eyes from Ellie and with a click of his silver lighter, he lit up a cigarette and inhaled deeply.
‘Get me a pint, will you? I’ll be in soon,’ Dominic said.
‘Sure thing. Do you want anything, Ellie?’ Murphy asked.
Ellie managed a small smile.
‘No, thanks.’
As Murphy shuffled off, Dominic’s face burst into a smile.
‘Come inside, let’s have a drink.’
Ellie shook her head.
‘No.’
Dominic’s smile faltered.
‘Rather go back to work and bury your head in your school books, would you? Even though I’ve hardly seen you lately.’
Ellie frowned but she could hardly argue that this wasn’t true.
‘Well, you’re here all the time, aren’t you?’ she said.
‘If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’ve been punishing me,’ he continued, in a low voice. ‘All because of that thing at the church.’
Dominic rolled his eyes as if she was a toddler having a tantrum. Ellie pushed back her shoulders.
‘I’m not punishing you; I just want to know the truth.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘Are you seeing her?’ Ellie said, enunciating every syllable.
‘Seeing who?’
‘Scarlette,’ she said, finally summoning up the courage to say her name out loud.
For a split second, Dominic just stared at her, before throwing his head back and laughing.
‘Are you still going on about this? You’re mad.’
‘I’m not mad,’ she said, trying to keep her voice even as she presented her evidence. ‘Be honest with me, Dominic, that’s all I’m asking. You were at her house, I saw you. You weren’t wearing your uniform and she answered the door to me with hardly any clothes on!’
‘You’ve been following me?’
His eyes were as hard as flint.
‘No. Well, yes,’ she confessed, jutting her chin out. ‘Yes, I followed you.’
Dominic loomed a little closer.
‘What’s going on, Ellie? I know you’re stressed about the wedding, but following me? I’m worried about you. Are you sure nothing else is wrong? Is it something at work? I know your mum is concerned about you too.’
He reached his hand out but she backed away.
‘Keep my mum out of this! Just answer the question,’ Ellie said, holding an arm out to prevent him coming too close, her heart beating so fiercely now it was in danger of bursting out of her chest. ‘Are you seeing her?’
‘I had no idea this was all getting so much for you. Come in and have a drink and then we’ll go home and get that wedding folder of yours out.’
‘Answer the question, Dominic!’
As Ellie was shouting, two men came round the corner, heading for the door of the pub, their eyes flashing at her with curiosity.
‘Hi Dom,’ one of them said.
‘Hey,’ Dominic replied, his mouth a thin, rigid line.
It wasn’t until they were in the pub that Dominic snarled at her.
‘You’re embarrassing yourself.’
‘I don’t care,’ she screeched, a wild animal unleashed within her. ‘Are you cheating on me?’
‘This is getting ridiculous. I need a drink,’ Dominic said, taking a rough drag on his cigarette before stamping it out under his foot. ‘I don’t know what you think you saw, but you’ve got it all wrong.’
‘What were you doing there then? At her house?’
‘She’s a mate. I was seeing if I could fix her dishwasher.’
‘She came to the door in her underwear. I heard you call her from inside the house and it didn’t sound like you were asking her about the dishwasher.’
Dominic’s eyes narrowed.
‘I honestly don’t know what to say, Ellie,’ he said, with a shake of his head. ‘I helped her with her dishwasher and if she wants to wear her dressing gown in her own home, that’s her business.’
Self-belief radiated from him in waves as Ellie absorbed his words, but she didn’t feel anything like relief. She allowed him to fold her into his arms, hanging there like a rag doll. Dominic kissed the top of her head and then held her at arm’s length, examining her.
‘No apology then?’ he asked. Ellie blinked up at him. ‘Fine, suit yourself, but you’ve been a cow recently, Ellie. Shouting at me, accusing me of all this stupid stuff. You need to sort yourself out. And where’s your ring? I spent good money on that.’
She had no more words, she just stared at him, her chest rising and falling as he walked away.
‘I’d ask you in again for that drink, but I know what the answer will be,’ he called, piercing her with an icy look, before letting the door close behind him.
Ellie wasn’t sure how she reached her car, but when she slumped down into the driver’s seat, she knew her wobbly legs had managed to get her there.
A screaming siren reverberated around her head as she realised with alarming certainty that she didn’t believe a word Dominic had just said to her. The man she’d shared a life with for the last eight years, the man she’d shared a bed with, the man she’d been planning to spend the rest of her life with: who was he? The fact that she didn’t know the answer to this question hit her like a punch to the stomach, ripping the breath from her body as she collapsed over the steering wheel, squeezing her eyes so tightly shut that flashing white dots danced behind her eyelids.
Ellie decided to take the long route home through the back streets of Thistleby to clear her head. Hands clenched on the steering wheel, she took a left at the end of the high street, followed by a sharp right. Her little car grumbled as she urged it up a steep, winding road.
Halfway up the road, her car began spluttering and coughing and with a final groan, the engine cut out. With a sharp intake of breath, Ellie slammed her foot on the brake as the car began to roll backwards down the road. It judder
ed to a halt. She pulled up the hand break and tried starting it again but all it could manage was a wheeze in reply.
‘Come on! Come on!’ she squeaked, but the car seemed to have given up.
Ellie glanced up and down the quiet, residential street. With only a narrow pavement on one side, there was no obvious place to push her car out of the way, so she put her hazard lights on and got out.
Scrolling through her phone, she brought Dominic’s number up on the screen. Her finger hovered over the call button but she found she couldn’t press it. She didn’t want to. She considered calling Jenny but she didn’t want to bother her if she was busy with Bea.
Ellie buried her head in her hands and sank down onto the low wall of a front garden, groaning in frustration. She heard cars approaching from either side and decided to wait until they were gone before getting the number of her breakdown cover from her glove compartment.
A car sped on by and she waited for the other one to pass, but it didn’t.
‘Everything okay?’ a voice asked.
Ellie jerked her head up in surprise. There, before her, in his large, black car, with the window rolled down, was Mr Finch. She sprang up as if she’d been stung.
‘I’m fine, thanks. Just my car playing up again. Nothing new there,’ she replied.
‘What happened?’
Her eyes flickered to the ground; she had no energy to make polite conversation.
‘It just stopped and now it won’t start,’ she mumbled.
‘I see. It sounds like your starter motor might need replacing.’
‘Right,’ Ellie muttered, shoving some bits of stray hair behind her ears. ‘I’m just going to call my breakdown cover.’
‘I’ve got some jump leads in the boot, it shouldn’t be too difficult to get you on your way.’
‘You don’t need to do that.’
‘It won’t take long.’
Ellie watched with a tingling of irritation and relief, as Mr Finch pulled into a driveway, turned around and parked his car facing Ellie’s, before switching his own hazard lights on.
‘Really, I don’t want to hold you up,’ Ellie called, as he dug around in his boot for the jump leads.
Dressed in his usual suit and tie, he marched over and stood between the bonnets, the leads dangling from his hand.
‘You want to wait around for breakdown cover, which could take hours, when I can sort this out for you now?’
His eyebrows shot up above his glasses and she scrunched her nose up.
‘No, I guess not.’
‘Right,’ he said, with a nod of his head.
Ellie stood in silence and watched him roll up the sleeves of his crisp, blue shirt; his large hands moving confidently between the car bonnets.
‘Turn your engine on when I give you the signal,’ he ordered.
She slid into her car and when he gave her a nod, she turned the key and the engine jumped to life with a roar. Relief exploded in Ellie’s chest.
‘Thank you,’ she said, as they met between the car bonnets.
‘No problem.’
‘I need to get it seen to, I know it needs a little work,’ she admitted, folding her arms across her chest and leaning in next to him to look at the engine.
He shuffled away from her; his eyes fixed on the leads. Her jaw tensed; he obviously couldn’t bear be near her.
‘It’s seen better days,’ he said, pulling each bonnet down. ‘Your rust bucket is going to need more than a little work.’
‘Rust bucket?’ she repeated.
‘I don’t think it’s got much life left in it.’
‘I’ll let a garage decide that, thank you.’
Robert gave her a long, hard look.
‘I’m pretty sure they’ll tell you the same thing I have, besides you don’t want to keep getting stuck on these remote country roads, do you?’
‘That’s not your concern,’ she retorted.
‘It will be if I have to stop and help you again.’
A blaze flared up within her and she glared at him.
‘You didn’t have to stop.’
Robert marched away to the boot of his car and threw the jump leads in.
‘You’re welcome,’ he called, coldly.
A flicker of regret doused her flames.
‘Thank you for stopping, Mr Finch,’ she said, flinching as his car door slammed shut.
Ellie couldn’t be sure whether he’d heard her, but he clearly didn’t want to spend another minute in her company, as he reversed his car in a spin of tyres before disappearing from sight.
Chapter 14
Robert’s study door swung open wide.
‘Dad! I’ve been calling you.’
Abi stood there wrapped in a towel, her hair dripping wet and a scowl etched across her face. Robert sat back in his chair.
‘I didn’t hear you.’
‘There’s no hot water,’ she cried. ‘I was taking a shower and after like two minutes the water turned ice cold.’
‘It’s the boiler. It must be older than me. I’ll take another look at it.’
Abi gave a huff and vanished.
Robert trudged to the utility room, a small, narrow room at the back of the house. After twenty minutes tinkering about with the boiler and swearing at its incomprehensible manual, Moira poked her head round the door.
‘What on earth’s going on in here?’
‘I don’t know what’s wrong with this thing,’ he groaned. ‘And Abi hasn’t got any hot water for her shower.’
‘Abi’s a big girl, she’ll manage. Besides I’ve booked a plumber to come and look at it. He’s agreed to come out next Saturday, so we’ll have to make do until then.’
‘Thanks, Moira.’
‘Don’t thank me yet. I can’t be here when he comes, I’ve got some flat viewings booked.’
‘Already?’
‘Already, Robert. I need my own space and so do you and Abi.’
He knew she was right, but that didn’t stop an uneasy prickle spreading across his skin, he’d got used to having Moira around.
‘Right,’ said Robert, attempting a smile. ‘I’ll make sure I’m here when the plumber comes next Saturday then.’
‘Good,’ Moira said, and with a swish of her skirt she was gone.
Robert took the stairs two at a time to Abi’s bedroom. She was sat on her bed staring at her phone.
‘The boiler will be fixed next Saturday.’
‘Fine.’
‘I’m going to the clinic in a minute, you should come with me.’
‘Why?’ she asked, with a pout.
‘Why?’ he repeated, a familiar throb pulsing at his temples. ‘I shouldn’t have to answer that question. You know why. To see your mother.’
She curled up tighter, drawing her phone closer to her face.
‘Nothing ever changes. What’s the point?’
‘We still need to go,’ he said, his voice rising.
‘I’ve got homework,’ she mumbled.
‘Why didn’t you do your homework earlier?’
‘Dad, leave me alone.’
‘No, I will not leave you alone.’
With a groan, Abi reached for her headphones and clamped them down over her ears.
‘Will you stop being so rude, Abigail!’ he shouted.
‘Robert?’
A soft voice behind him broke the torrent of his anger. Moira stood a little way down the hall, her hands clasped neatly in front of her.
‘She won’t come to the clinic,’ he muttered, as he turned away from his daughter’s bedroom.
Moira nodded, as if she hadn’t expected anything less. Compassion shone from her eyes.
‘She needs time, Robert.’
‘She’s had plenty of time, how much more does she need?’
‘I don’t know,’ she replied, with a light shrug of her shoulders.
Robert pulled his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose. It wasn’t Abi’s duty to visit each Sunday, it was his. W
ith a resigned sigh, he stalked to the bathroom to take some painkillers for his oncoming migraine.
~
When Robert pulled into the car park at Thistleby Care Clinic, he didn’t get out of his car straight away. Instead, with glazed eyes, he sat staring out across the lawn. He’d never admit it to anyone, but he dreaded his weekly visits to Jane and he despised himself for it. Every time he saw her, he was reminded of the part he had played in the accident and every time he saw her, he felt helpless and pathetic knowing he could do nothing to help her. It was like tearing open an old wound every time he visited, and after so many years he doubted it would ever get any easier.
In his hand, he clutched a recent school photograph of Abi. He’d considered bringing the photo from his desk, the one taken at Abi’s birthday party, but had decided against it. It wasn’t as if they had been a shining example of a happily married couple in that photo, in fact, they’d barely been talking to one another.
After the party, when Abi was tucked up in bed, Robert had opened a bottle of wine and he’d been surprised when Jane had joined him. They’d sat in the kitchen together, awkwardly reliving the best bits of the party, chuckling at the antics of the children and sharing their relief that it was all over. He’d made a throwaway comment about how great it would be if Abi had a younger brother or sister to share occasions like this with and as usual, Jane’s face had clouded over. She had shut down on him, refusing to discuss it, before swiftly stealing out of the room, like a spirit that had never been there to begin with.
Robert couldn’t remember ever sharing a glass of wine with her again after that, but he did remember how often arguments flared up between them and how he took comfort from working longer hours at the office, as the affection they’d once felt for each other slipped away.
Robert’s head drooped forward. Screwing his eyes shut, he could hear the click of her seatbelt, sudden flashes of bright light and the sickening crunch of metal hitting metal. His heavy, ragged breathing filled his ears, followed by his cries of horror.
Robert’s eyes shot open. He was panting. The feelings of guilt that always threatened to undo him when he saw Jane seemed to have intensified lately, nipping more fiercely at the corners of his mind, not allowing him any peace. Robert pushed open the car door and filled his lungs with fresh air.