by Sarah Picson
‘You did?’
He nodded grimly.
‘When I didn’t find you there, I had a feeling this might be where you would come.’
‘Well, you’ve found me,’ Ellie said, wrenching her gaze away.
‘There was a woman with Dominic,’ Robert continued. ‘I think I understand why you’re running away.’
Ellie straightened up, bristling with annoyance.
‘I’m not running away.’
‘No, of course not. I shouldn’t have said that.’
Ellie’s hand clutched at her throat.
‘Well, now you’ve finally met my ex and know one of the many reasons why I broke up with him,’ she muttered.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be,’ Ellie said, crisply. ‘I’m not. I should have left him a long time ago and now that woman is pregnant with Dominic’s child and rather than hate her for it, I actually feel sorry for her. She’s welcome to what my life was going to be. I don’t care any more, I’m finally escaping his lies. And your lies about your wife.’
She threw him a bitter glance.
‘I didn’t lie,’ Robert said. ‘I just didn’t tell you everything you had a right to know. The same way you didn’t tell me much about Dominic.’
A brief, stony silence grew up like thorns between them.
‘Why are you here, Robert?’ Ellie asked.
‘To talk to you. There’s things I need to tell you about Jane.’
‘It’s a bit late for that!’ she cried. ‘I’ve heard nothing from you for weeks and now you want to talk? Have you been busy taking your wife to the cinema and sharing expensive bottles of wine with her?’
She hated the words that she flung out at him; she could see the way he flinched as they hit him, but they were words she had been bottling up inside her wounded heart and she needed to set them free.
‘No!’ Robert shouted, striding over to her. ‘If you must know, I’ve spent the last month tormenting myself with thoughts of you and your fiancé making wedding arrangements.’
Ellie took a sharp intake of breath.
‘What? Why would you think that?’
‘Dominic told me.’
She recoiled.
‘I don’t understand.’
‘When you sent me that email cancelling the tuition sessions with Abi, I tried to find you. You weren’t at Jenny’s, so I got your home address from one of your invoices. You weren’t there, but he was. Dominic told me that you’d been having problems, but that you’d worked through them and were getting married.’
‘You believed him?’ she asked, a quiet rage simmering in her stomach.
‘I didn’t know the man,’ Robert said. ‘But there he was opening the door to your house, so why wouldn’t I believe that you were living with him and marrying him? He even knew about our date to the cinema. He told me to keep away and that’s what I did. I told myself that you’d chosen him over me and that if you were marrying him, I had no business trying to pursue you.’
Ellie’s jaw slackened, as the extent of Dominic’s manipulative behaviour became clear to her.
‘Dominic and I were over the night we went to the cinema. Deep down, I think I knew that we were over that night I first met you in The Olive Tree. I didn’t choose him over you, I could never do that.’
Her final words came out as a harsh whisper and she lurched away from the bench, towards the narrow path leading into the trees.
Robert was faster. With a few long steps, he intercepted Ellie, blocking her way to the path. Coming to a halt, she glared up at him.
‘Let me go.’
‘No. It’s my turn to explain. Don’t shut me out again.’
‘Explain what?’ Ellie cried, savagely. ‘You’re married, Robert, but you let me believe your wife was dead!’
His chin dropped to his chest.
‘I should have told you about her sooner, I know that now.’
‘I won’t be the other woman,’ Ellie cried, hot tears blurring her vision and stinging her eyes. ‘I won’t.’
‘The other woman? Ellie, you’ve never been the other woman,’ Robert said, his voice ragged with emotion. ‘You’re the only woman. And you’ve done something I never thought possible: you’ve saved me from myself.’
Ellie sucked in a deep breath of icy air, as a dull ache spread throughout her chest.
‘What are you talking about?’ she asked.
‘I’d stopped feeling the sun on my face. I’d stopped tasting the food on my plate. I’d stopped being a father to my daughter. And then there you were. In the short time I’ve known you, you’ve taught me how to feel again. You’ve flooded my life with colour. There is no one else but you, Ellie Saunders.’ Ellie gasped and squeezed her eyes shut; a solitary tear squeezing out and gliding down her cheek. ‘Will you let me tell you about Jane?’
For a few moments, the only thing Ellie could hear was the sound of her own breathing. When she batted her eyelids open, she found herself staring into Robert’s pleading eyes. A voice in her head told her to walk away, but her feet refused to obey.
‘Okay,’ she whispered.
Robert cleared his throat.
‘When we were up here before, I told you that Jane and I married young and not long after having Abi, we began to grow apart,’ he explained. ‘We both worked long hours, but I wanted a bigger family and Jane didn’t. She was content with Abi and wanted to focus on her career. We continued to drift apart, gradually becoming like strangers living in the same house, staying together for Abi’s sake. Eventually, Jane asked me for a trial separation, but I told her I needed time to think about it, so we carried on as before.
‘One night, we went out for a friend’s birthday, just the two of us. We left Abi at home with the babysitter. We didn’t stay long at the party.’
Robert’s eyes burned into Ellie’s with an imploring intensity, as he battled to keep his breathing under control.
‘I was driving that night and, on the way home we argued. Jane wanted to take Abi away for the summer, to stay with her brother overseas. I didn’t want her to go. I was being selfish and I was annoyed that I wasn’t part of the trip. It was late and I wasn’t focusing on the road as much as I should have been. We just kept shouting at each other. Jane demanded that I pull over. She wanted to get out. I heard the click of her seatbelt as she undid it, but I didn’t stop. I just kept driving.’
Robert paused, staring beyond Ellie’s shoulder, his face frozen in fear.
‘There was a car coming the other way. It was going so fast. It suddenly swerved into our lane and it just kept coming. It didn’t slow down. The headlights blinded me. I turned the steering wheel as hard as I could but the car hit us. It drove straight across us and into the passenger side where Jane was sitting.’
Robert’s voice faltered.
‘The noise was deafening. Our car rolled over and over and we landed in a ditch at the side of the road. Jane was in a bad way. Without her seatbelt on, she’d been thrown about in the car like a rag doll. She broke several bones and suffered head trauma. She was in a coma for four months and then one day she woke up, but she wasn’t Jane.
Rivers of tears cascaded down Robert’s face.
‘Her brain function was so severely impaired in the accident, that she now has to live in a clinic with round-the-clock care.’
Robert wrenched his glasses off and wiped his tears away.
‘And I walked away from the accident with only a broken arm and recurring migraines. I found out afterward that it had been a young man in the other car, barely out of his teens. They had found high levels of alcohol and drugs in his bloodstream that evening. But if we hadn’t been arguing, I could have prevented the accident, I could have moved us out of the way in time, I could have stopped sooner, I could have…’
He broke off suddenly, with a defeated groan.
Whatever Ellie had been expecting Robert to say, it hadn’t been this. It had been an effort for him to relive his past, this much she
could tell.
‘I visit her every Sunday,’ Robert said, lifting his eyes to meet hers. ‘But we haven’t been together since the accident and for years before that we were estranged.’
‘Oh Robert,’ Ellie whispered, shuddering with the enormity of all that he’d just told her.
‘I thought that’s the way my life had become. I went to work, came home and struggled to know what to say to my daughter after depriving her of her mother. But then I met you. I know I should have told you about my past sooner, but it’s taken me a while to accept that I’m moving on. And after what happened to Jane, I didn’t think I deserved to be happy, but I need you to know that you’re not the other woman, Ellie.’
‘I know that now, Robert,’ Ellie said, closing the gap between them and placing a hand on his cheek. ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t more open about my relationship with Dominic. I felt so trapped and your house was like a sanctuary for me. I could forget about my problems when I was there with you.’
‘That night outside your house, when Dominic told me you were together, I thought that I had just been a distraction for you until you got married,’ Robert said, a rare look of vulnerability shining from his eyes.
Ellie shook her head.
‘You were never that,’ she whispered, forcefully.
‘I’ve missed you so much.’
Ellie gazed up into his soft, thoughtful eyes as thick snow settled in their hair and on their coats, and despite her numb feet and the chilly snowflakes landing on her eyelashes, a warmth spread through her.
‘I think it was in the cinema foyer,’ she said.
‘What?’
‘I think it was in the cinema foyer when I fell for you, Robert Finch.’
Ellie enjoyed the startled look that jumped onto his face and allowed herself a gentle chuckle as he pulled her into his arms. The clean smell of his aftershave was intoxicating, as she snuggled into him, feeling the rise and fall of his warm, broad chest beneath her head.
When he released her, she frowned as she saw a smear of dry blood on his temple, and a bruise forming that she hadn’t noticed before.
‘What happened?’ she asked, pointing to it.
‘Ah, things got a bit out of control when I saw Dominic.’
‘Dominic did this to you?’ she asked, with a gasp.
Robert shrugged.
‘His jaw is in worse shape.’
Ellie shook her head.
‘That man!’ she hissed.
‘Forget about him. Is there anything I can do to convince you to stay in Thistleby?’
Ellie hesitated before answering.
‘I don’t want to make any more mistakes, Robert. I’ve already made so many with Dominic.’
‘I am not Dominic,’ he said, firmly. ‘You encouraged me not to give up on my relationship with Abi and it worked. We’re doing so well and I’ll always have you to thank for that. Don’t give up on us.’
In the still, peaceful solitude that surrounded them, a moment of clarity draped over Ellie.
‘I don’t want to rush anything,’ she whispered. ‘I just want to enjoy this.’
‘I’m enjoying it already. Would you have dinner with me tonight? A proper first date, perhaps?’
Ellie’s heart fluttered violently in her chest.
‘A first date sounds perfect. As long as we take things slowly.’
‘Slowly,’ Robert repeated, enfolding her in his arms again.
Ellie tingled with delight.
‘Slowly,’ she murmured, melting as his breath tickled her ear.
Before she could stop herself, Ellie reached up, seeking him out and pressed her lips against his. He responded with a deep groan as they melded together, clasping each other tightly; a fierce heat from their long, hungry kiss, keeping them warm.
When they broke apart, Ellie’s face was burning and she was breathing hard.
‘Too fast?’ Robert asked, his eyes dancing with mischief.
Ellie pulled a face, but her heart skipped a beat.
‘Maybe.’
‘Slow it is then,’ he said, offering her his arm.
Ellie didn’t hesitate. She slipped her arm through his and he drew her close against him. Her eyes flickered over to the bench and the familiar view that she loved so much.
‘I think Juliette would be happy for us,’ Ellie said.
‘I think she would,’ Robert agreed.
Chapter 32
Despite tripping over tree roots hiding in the shadows and invisible branches scraping against his face, Robert was walking on air. The night was thick and inky as they made their way along the forest path, with only the faint outline of their hands held out in front of them to guide their way.
When they reached the car park by the lake, a cry of frustration escaped Robert’s lips. His car was the only one there and the metal gate at the entrance was locked shut.
‘Didn’t you know they lock the gate at dusk?’ Ellie asked, her voice tinkling with amusement.
‘That was the last thing on my mind,’ Robert grumbled.
‘Don’t worry, I parked over there.’
Ellie pointed to a side street just beyond the gate.
‘You thought ahead?’
‘Yes, and if you’re very nice to me, I’ll give you a lift in my rust bucket.’
Robert gave a wry grin and kissed the top of her head.
‘I would be very grateful to be rescued by your rust bucket.’
Ellie’s small car was crammed full of boxes and bags. She began grabbing things from the passenger seat and pushing them into tiny gaps on the seats behind.
Finally, Robert had just enough room to clamber in, and sat folded up like a concertina because the passenger seat had been pushed so far forward. He wriggled about trying to get comfortable, the corners of Ellie’s boxes digging into his back through the seat.
As they sat there shivering, the ineffectual heater only puffing out pathetic blasts from its tiny vents, Ellie phoned Jenny to ask if she could stay at her house for the night. Judging by the ecstatic squealing Robert could hear from the other end of the phone, he could tell her friend was happy to receive her call. He had been tempted to suggest that Ellie stay in his spare room, but he thought it would be a step too far. He turned a word over in his mind.
Slowly.
They hadn’t talked about what would happen tomorrow and whether she’d still go to her parents, but he decided to just enjoy the evening they had planned.
Slowly.
It worked for him too.
With her hands gripping the wheel, Ellie drove to Robert’s house under increasingly heavy snowfall. The windscreen wipers whipped back and forth, trying to remove the silent, relentless bombardment on the glass. Other cars were also travelling at a snail’s pace, eager to avoid slipping and sliding on the fresh carpet of snow beneath their tyres.
‘This looks like it’s settled in for the night,’ Robert mused, as they reached his house.
‘I think you’re right,’ Ellie said, getting out of the car and stamping her feet on the ground.
‘Let’s get you a hot drink, you’ve been outside for too long,’ Robert said. ‘Then we can decide whether to go out for dinner or get a takeaway.’
It wasn’t until he pulled the key from his pocket that Robert realised the house was in complete darkness.
‘Trying to get a teenager to turn some lights on is like pulling teeth,’ he grumbled.
He pushed the front door open and they groped their way inside. Robert could just about make out the shadows of the furniture in the hallway and it was just as wintry inside as it was outside.
‘Why hasn’t the heating come on?’ Robert said. ‘Abi must be freezing.’
He placed his hand on the cold, smooth wall and felt about for the light switch.
‘Robert,’ Ellie said. He heard a tremor in her voice that hadn’t been there a moment ago. ‘Can you smell that?’
As soon as she’d said it, a strange, thin smell tickled his nostrils. It
took him a second to register what it was; a second they didn’t have, as his fingers found the corner of the light switch.
‘It’s gas!’ gasped Ellie.
His hand froze, anxiety grabbing him roughly by the sleeve.
‘It must be a leak,’ he said, snatching his hand away from the switch.
As the distinctive smell of gas began to engulf them, a wave of panic rose up in him at the thought of Abi alone in the house: in the cold, in the dark and in danger.
‘I must find Abi.’
‘Are you sure she’s here?’ Ellie asked.
‘She didn’t mention anything to me about going out tonight.’
Robert groped for Ellie’s hand in the dark and they moved along the hallway together. He ran his hand along the wall, guiding them further into the house, where the smell of gas was becoming more invasive.
When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Robert let go of Ellie’s hand.
‘I’m going to check Abi’s room. Maybe you should wait outside.’
‘I’ll wait here for you,’ Ellie said, firmly.
Robert put his foot on the first step, but something further along the hallway caused him to jolt to a standstill. He was sure he could see the outline of someone in the dark fog of the hallway. The shadowy figure moved. Robert blinked in confusion.
‘Abi?’ he called.
The figure became still. Robert almost called out again, but as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he realised it wasn’t his daughter at all. The person was far too tall to be Abi.
‘Who’s there?’ Robert bellowed.
With a sudden blur of movement, the figure darted away.
‘Robert?’ Ellie said. ‘What is it?’
But Robert didn’t answer. Abandoning his plan to go upstairs, he plunged forward, chasing the shadow.
A door crashed open up ahead to his left and he knew the figure had gone into the utility room. Robert dived in after the intruder and began coughing violently as a cloud of gas reached out its dense, unrelenting fingers and gripped him around the neck, scratching at the insides of his throat.
A thump sharpened his wits: a dark shadow on top of the washing machine, trying to squeeze through the small window above it. Anger surged through Robert and he leapt forward, grabbing at the intruder’s clothes. Ferocious swearing filled the air from a male voice, as Robert wound his arms around his waist and held on.