“How did you know my ring size?”
Ryan shrugged. “I’m observant is all.”
“Ryan,” Cooper murmured. Ryan let out a breath and slowly met Cooper’s eyes. He looked sad, worse than. “I wasn’t lying. You have to believe me.”
His mouth twisted up. “Loyal to the last, even in deceit.”
Cooper was losing his patience.
“I have your bolts.”
“What?”
Cooper leaned a hip against the wall of the elevator.
“For your door. I can come over after work and make it so you have a functioning doorknob again. Then I can get started on the mold.”
Ryan snorted. “What? You’re going to play handyman?”
Cooper smiled, though it felt edged by the frustration still sitting heady inside him. He just wanted Ryan to believe him. “Exactly.”
“Why?”
“I’m going to prove to you I’m not going anywhere.”
He held his ground as Ryan’s eyes darted over his face, down his body and back again. He smacked the button and again they started ascending.
“You’re unbelievable.”
“Just stubborn.”
Ryan pursed his lips. “Let’s assume you mean what you say. You’re awfully sure after spending all of two days together. That’s hardly grounds for obsession.”
“It’s not that,” Cooper corrected him. The word felt dirty. Obsession suggested possession. He didn’t want to possess Ryan.
“What then?” Ryan asked him. And Cooper didn’t miss the hope hiding in Ryan’s question. “What is this?”
“I like you.” Cooper shrugged. “Simple as that.”
Something hard in Ryan’s eyes softened at his words and Cooper felt lighter than he had since leaving Ryan’s flat the day before.
Ryan bit his lip. Cooper’s gaze went to where his tongue darted out and Ryan reached out to slap the button again. They lurched to a stop a second time and Ryan darted forward.
Ryan slammed him against the wall, the bar digging painfully into Cooper’s hip as he met Ryan kiss for kiss. His hands went to Cooper’s hair, pulling and twisting as he laughed, overjoyed.
“Shut up,” Ryan ground out. He licked into Cooper’s mouth and Cooper couldn’t help but buck his hips forward. Ryan rolled his hips to meet him and—oh. Oh.
“You believe me now?” Cooper gasped out. He held Ryan to him, nearly lost in the feeling of Ryan against him, in his arms, his heart pounding out a beat a mile a second, pulse thundering against his temples.
Ryan huffed. Cooper’s hands smoothed and rubbed over his shoulders and back until their frantic kissing turned gentle, something slow and close enough to sweet for Cooper to be alright with easing Ryan back from him.
“Do you believe me, Ryan?”
He closed his eyes and sighed a shuddery breath. He touched a thumb to Cooper’s lower lip, transfixed on the sight with a heavy-lidded gaze.
“Maybe.” Cooper leaned forward to press a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. He wrapped Ryan in his arms and hugged him. After a moment, he returned the embrace. And though it was so new, Cooper felt his heart soar.
“Ask me again tomorrow,” Ryan said.
If Gloria noticed the way her son’s hair was more ruffled than usual, or the way his lips seemed redder than they normally were, she didn’t let on. She nodded to Cooper when she saw him and he returned it, though it was far from what he’d call casual.
Ryan smiled his brightest smile.
Gloria’s eyes roamed over him, suspicious.
It didn’t take long for her to spy the ring on Cooper’s hand.
“Where’s yours?” was all she asked after a long moment, looking at her son.
Ryan answered easily. “Still being fitted, I’m afraid.”
She nodded absently. Her stare went back to the band on Cooper’s finger.
“I take it Thanksgiving went well?”
“Better than I could have hoped, honestly.”
She nodded again.
“How was yours?” he asked her in return and it seemed to startle her back to the present. She focused on him, seeming surprised he asked her at all.
“Oh. Mine was quite alright. Casework piled up, as usual. O’Brien’s being sued by Pangenetics Inc., but who aren’t they suing these days?”
“Carlson,” Ryan answered.
To Cooper’s surprise, she laughed.
Ryan cleared his throat, bringing his mother’s attention back to him. “I just wanted to inform you I will be taking a week in December for the holiday then as well. We’ll be in Alaska.”
“Oh,” she hummed. “Sounds like a big trip.”
“We decided to treat the whole family,” Ryan told her with a winning grin and Cooper realized the misstep before he did.
“Oh?” Gloria intoned, sounding thoughtful. “Really.”
Ryan’s smile wavered.
“It’ll be boring, probably,” Cooper said, trying to remedy Ryan’s mistake. “A lot of ice that time of year.”
“A lot of ice? In Alaska?”
He nodded slow, swallowing past his far too-dry throat.
“Who would have thought?” Ryan asked, offering a laugh.
Gloria wasn’t laughing. Cooper felt like jumping out the window.
“An engagement celebration, then?” she asked.
“Yes,” they said at the same time.
Cooper glanced at Ryan, seeing a blank expression. He knew, just as Cooper did, what was coming.
“We were wondering, too,” Cooper continued, and heard Ryan’s intake of breath beside him. “If you’d like to join us?”
“It’ll be the whole family,” Ryan said flatly.
Gloria’s smile grew into something sincere, her eyes lighting up more than Cooper had ever seen.
“It’ll be the whole family,” she repeated on a wide smile and Cooper saw her teeth seemed sharper than Ryan’s. “It sounds like an excellent time.”
“Excellent,” Ryan breathed, sliding Cooper a murderous look. “Yes.”
7
Ryan was silent as they made their way back down in the elevator.
Cooper wasn’t sure what he should do. He just knew Gloria’s eyes lit up and she looked happy when she realized she’d been invited along. Maybe Ryan wasn’t the only one feeling lonely in their small, emotionally constipated family. The moments ticked by so slowly, Cooper begun to fidget wanting to bring it up.
“Ryan, I’m—”
“If you’re about to apologize for going ahead and inviting my mother, of all people, to Alaska with us, and your family might I remind you, in some pathetic attempt to reinforce this little imaginary relationship we’re building—”
“Ryan—”
Ryan spoke over him. “Then don’t. It’s quite genius, actually.”
“Listen, please…Wait, what?” Cooper whipped around to meet Ryan’s amused eyes. He couldn’t be serious. “You think it’s a good idea?”
Ryan shrugged, looking away from him. He blinked down at the floor. The stack of numbers on the door flickered, the counter slowly approaching their floor, tick after tick. It was coming up too fast and going by too slowly all at once. Cooper was ready to crawl out of his skin, be done with this whole thing, get to the bottom of how Ryan really felt. He couldn’t tell anymore what was real and what was fake between them.
“Yes and no. I’m furious. But I can’t argue it’s not a good plan,” Ryan said, sighing. “We’ll really have to sell it.”
Cooper bit the inside of his cheek, feeling odd about the tone of Ryan’s voice, but calmed somewhat besides. “Nothing much to sell if it’s real.”
Ryan’s eyebrows slowly drew up. “Oh, are you really proposing to me, then? Right now? I can’t say the scenery has improved much. First the front stoop of your parent’s door, now an elevator?”
Ryan huffed and Cooper realized he was teasing him.
“Classy.”
Cooper reached across to press stop, and t
hey drew to a swaying halt. Ryan didn’t look at him, but his nostrils were wide, lips slightly parted. Cooper could hear the quickness of his breathing. He was waiting. Waiting for Cooper to do something. Maybe that’d been their problem all along. Ryan had been the one to take the lead so far, and in the grand scheme of things maybe that looked as bad as Cooper suddenly felt about it. He should have done more. Should have done a lot more.
“Come here,” Cooper told him, quiet. Ryan’s breath hitched, escaped altogether when a hand found the back of his neck. Cooper boxed him in, bodily pushing him against the wall in a loose but secure hold, not letting him think twice about it. Cooper pressed their mouths together, not waiting for a yes or a no, just that it felt right when Ryan’s wide eyes finally dragged back to his and he started breathing again when he was the one to pull back. He licked his lips, a small sound leaving him.
“What,” Ryan said, “Don’t tell me we’re ready to adopt, already? Those puppy-dog eyes staring back at me right now, God. Think you’re gonna get me to say yes to anything?” Cooper hummed, some laughter managing to slip free from him. Ryan’s hands found the nape of his hair, started running his fingers through. “You’ve got it bad, don’t you, Cooper?”
Cooper smiled, wide and full and happy. It caught, infectious as Ryan’s lips tilted up at the corners. “Maybe.”
“Don’t repeat my own words back to me.”
“Okay,” Cooper said. “I do. I’ve got it real bad. For you, specifically. I want to touch you all the time now. I should have gotten my head out of my ass sooner, we could have started this a long time ago.”
Ryan’s eyes slid shut for a long moment, breath coming out in a shudder. Cooper palmed his cheek and brought their foreheads together. He held Ryan like that, swayed with him. It felt almost like dancing, with Ryan’s fingers going tight in bursts in his hair. A small quiet comfort Cooper never wanted to let go.
“Then I think we’ll sell it just fine,” Ryan told him.
“We should go out to dinner tonight,” Ryan said when they were back safe in his office. Cooper shut the door behind them.
Cooper waited for Ryan to elaborate before launching into the hundred questions that came to mind at the idea. Ryan simply went to sit at his desk and log into his computer. He commenced a flurry of rapid typing which told Cooper the subject was just that, a statement and done.
Not today, he told himself.
“Will this be our first real, official date?” Cooper asked him, all caution as he sat across from his boss—maybe-boyfriend—fake-husband-to-be for sure.
Ryan’s gaze flicked to him and back again. “You could say that.”
“Then say it.”
Ryan huffed haughtily. “I’m asking you out on a real date, yes, Cooper.”
Cooper couldn’t help but grin, shifting happily in the plush seat. A smile was tugging at Ryan’s mouth, Cooper could tell. It was a real travesty that Ryan didn’t smile more.
Cooper inched forward. “And what sort of dinner will we be having, boyfriend?”
“Watch it,” Ryan warned. But now he wasn’t hiding his smile at all, small and shy as it was. “The steakhouse downtown. You like steak, right?”
“Love it.”
“Good.”
Cooper nodded. Then, “I want to kiss you right now.”
“We’re at work.”
“When has that stopped us before?”
Ryan’s flying fingers paused, frozen over his keyboard. He blinked and resumed his typing, the shy smile replaced by something clever. “Before, meaning today?”
“Counts.”
“It does. But that was the elevator. A controlled environment—”
“Anyone could have gotten that elevator to keep moving. It was hardly controlled—”
“Here, however,” Ryan said, shrugging without stopping his slew of typing. “Here in my office, we’re much more likely to risk someone seeing.”
“Seeing me kiss my boyfriend who’s already told Gloria about our intentions? My fiance, even. What a scandal that would be.”
“Careful with the boyfriend stuff,” Ryan said, tone deceptively even. His expression was unreadable.
Cooper wanted to ask why it bothered him so much. But he knew from before, when Ryan had confided in him—or let slip—his trepidations about people he’d dated before, it would take a while. He knew when to push Ryan’s buttons and when to lay off.
So, he pushed. Just a little.
Cooper stood up. Ryan didn’t look at him. Cooper rounded the edge of his desk, coming to a stop beside his chair. He propped a hand close to Ryan’s wrist, leaning over to deliberately invade his space. To Ryan’s credit, he kept his expression blank, focused on whatever he was typing.
Cooper glanced at the screen. Working on a brief for the judge handling Carlson’s case. He eyed the files, the portfolios, the stack of legal writing littering Ryan’s large desk. Turned back and studied Ryan’s inscrutable expression.
He hummed, said, “Oops,” and reached to push the closest stack of files to the floor.
Ryan’s eyes held on the movement, hands drawing back quickly. Cooper waited a beat, and reveled only when Ryan’s appraising glare dragged up his body to lock eyes with him.
“What do you think you’re doing, assistant?”
“Fiance,” Cooper corrected him, then leaned so close he could hear Ryan let out a little stuttering exhale before pushing the next closest pile aside, knocking into the farthest. Papers fell with a thud to the floor, a flutter as they crashed free of their paperclips. “I’m making room.”
Ryan nodded, leaning back in his chair to watch Cooper elbow aside a leather portfolio. The same he often filled with notes for Ryan’s busy days.
“Room for what, might I ask?”
“Things.”
Another rustling of papers. A scritch of cardboard as Ryan’s coffee was pushed aside. Ryan spared a moment to lift it away from becoming collateral damage before Cooper gratefully nodded and finally pushed his keyboard back. The screen was next, slid to the side and out of the way.
“What kind of things?”
Ryan’s eye twitched as Cooper settled himself more fully on the desk. He hitched his pants up, letting his legs open almost entirely at the level of Ryan’s chest. Impossible to ignore.
“What things do you think?”
Ryan’s lips curled up on a low hum. Almost carefully, Ryan lifted one hand to rest it hot atop Cooper’s thick thigh, thumb brushing slow down to his knee.
“We do this,” Ryan started, “You have to be sure. Are you absolutely—”
“Shut up and come here already,” Cooper told him on a huff, already reaching for the lapels of his suit jacket.
A startled sound bubbled out of Ryan as he was hauled forward. Cooper nearly pulled him out of his seat, forcing Ryan to grab hard at Cooper’s thighs to steady himself. He stood quickly, breathing hard into Cooper’s mouth as they met. Ryan bit at him, tugged and pulled until Ryan was standing between his spread legs, close, so close. Cooper could feel the heat of him. Could feel him growing hard against his stomach, hips jerking forward. Ryan liked this. Liked Cooper manhandling him.
Cooper felt brave, very brave indeed as he reached around to palm Ryan’s ass, pulling him as close as possible.
A moan broke free from Ryan, sliding hot into Cooper’s mouth and he groaned with it. He stood and, hefting Ryan up in his arms, whipped them around to sit his boss down on his own desk. A grunt of surprise left him but Cooper could hardly concentrate on it, overcome suddenly by how Ryan was rubbing eagerly against his stomach. Cooper could feel the entire length of him, wanting more.
Cooper fell to his knees, hands quick to work at Ryan’s fly.
Cooper drew him out of his pants, licked his lips, and swallowed Ryan’s hot length down.
“Oh God, oh Jesus—” Ryan swore, knuckles white where he gripped the edge of his desk. “Fucking Christ!”
The taste of musk and sweat and that always peculiar he
ady salt painted the back of his throat as he worked Ryan down as far as he could take him. A hand found its way into his hair, threading tight and pulling, and pushing and pulling again until his scalp was sore. He squeezed Ryan’s ass and blinked away the stinging in his eyes as Ryan repeatedly hit as deep as he could reach. Cooper wanted more. He wanted everything. Ryan rode his throat with thrusts so consistent, Cooper could hardly pick them out from how voraciously he kept at it himself.
There was no warning as Ryan came, a startling jolt down his throat so perfectly angled Cooper was already lamenting that he didn’t have time to savor the taste like he wanted.
Cooper pulled off as kindly as he could, letting Ryan go with a last suckle to the head to wring any last drops free. Ryan twitched lightly in Cooper’s arms, oversensitive. The tight hold in his hair eased somewhat but didn’t leave. Instead, he felt fingers brush the shell of his ear.
He let Ryan catch his breath some before saying, “I didn’t know you were religious.”
Ryan rolled his eyes, shaking his head weakly. “Oh, fuck off.”
Cooper felt so happy just then. In a moment of feeling positively over the moon, Cooper dared a final time in placing a kiss to the bared bit of Ryan’s lean stomach.
Ryan’s hands smoothed down, moving to cup his face. His eyes were curiously glassy.
“You’re gonna be the death of me, aren’t you?” he said softly, face flushed a pretty shade.
Cooper drew back, entirely meaning to answer when a knock sounded at the door.
Ryan’s eyes went comically wide, and he shoved at Cooper’s head, slapping at him until he got the message and hurried beneath the desk. Ryan stuffed himself back in his pants and landed, quite ungracefully, back in his chair. His knees shoved into Cooper’s shoulders and neck, and Cooper shoved back at him so Ryan shoved back harder. Cooper was never more grateful that Ryan had opted for classic wood rather than modern steel and glass in his furniture choices. He was hidden.
He didn’t know what to do with his hands, so he opted for placing one on the floor, the other clasped around Ryan’s ankle.
“What?” Ryan called out, in something not quite reaching a bark.
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