by Tamara White
© 2017 Tamara White
All rights reserved.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
Dedication
This book if for all my readers out there, who encourage me every day to keep putting my mind onto the page. Without your constant support, my stories would just be words locked in a crazy swag addicted mind.
I would also like to give a very big shout out to the amazing Anita Maxwell. She helped give this book life and without her, it would be nothing. Thank you for your time, effort and words of encouragement to keep going and put my best work out into the world.
There is one other person who deserves a special mention and that is the lovely Leanne, my cover designer. How amazing is she?! Each of my covers comes from her and there is no one else in the world I trust more to create such marvellous work. Thank you for letting me annoy you with my visions and delivering nothing but the best.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
About the Author
Gasping, I jolt up from the bed, shocked at how real the dream felt. I’ve been having the same dream for three years, since I turned eighteen, and I don’t know why. Sometimes it feels so real that it’s hard to focus on anything else for the rest of the day. Other times I wake up, barely remembering what happened.
It’s the same every time. I’m surrounded by three dark figures. They each state I belong to them. Then they tell me it’s time to come home before biting me, sucking my blood just as vampires do. The worst part about it, I like it! The pain, the feeling of belonging to them along with the arousal that shoots through my body every time I’m in that dream. If I told anyone from my pack, they’d kill me for such blasphemy.
Glancing over at my clock, I still have an hour before training starts. Sighing, I decide to get dressed, and get an early start to the day.
Every day before school, we participate in mandatory training. But it’s more like a ‘beat the hell out of Emerald,’ session. The whole pack thinks I’m weak. Well, that’s to be expected when you project yourself as being meek. What they don’t know is that I’m so much stronger than any of them. I’ve been slowly increasing my strength these past few years to better protect myself. Being half human in a pack of wolves has increased the need to defend myself. That hasn’t eased the cruelty of training, though.
Our trainer, Jeremy, is one of the senior wolves in the pack. He used to be an enforcer before my father downgraded him to trainer. He was abusing his enforcer role by taking wolves on unsanctioned hunting trips, which led to many of our own being killed.
Ever since then, he’s been a grumpy, old pain in the ass. He’s made it his mission to make my life hell, and anytime I try to fight back, he hits harder. It’s reached the point where I let him beat me in front of the rest of my class. I thought that by letting him, his ego would be appeased, but unfortunately, I’m not that lucky.
I haven’t gotten my father involved yet, only because it hasn’t reached a level I can’t handle, though it’s getting close. Dad must suspect something, because he’s been giving me extra training sessions at night after he gets home from patrolling and in the mornings, before he leaves.
Those training sessions have helped me greatly these past few months even if it’s decreased my interest for mates.
Once a female wolf turns twenty-one, she’s given the choice to mate for the pack or contribute a job that’s just as worthy. We’re given a year to make the decision and once it’s made, it can’t be taken back. Today I turn twenty-one. Dad asked me yesterday if there was someone in the pack I was interested in but none have caught my interest. Well, actually, there is one, he just doesn’t want to acknowledge I exist. We had one night of amazing fun, then it was as if I had some kind of contagious disease that he needed to steer clear from.
Safe to say, my beast and I were in total agreement about never forming an attachment again, so we only ever hooked up with members of the pack for a night of release. Besides, not many can handle how ferocious my beast makes me in the bedroom.
I say beast, because my wolf has never felt like a normal wolf to me. My step-mother explained her wolf as being a part of her that helps guide her, whereas my beast just feels like a rabid animal waiting to get out. She’s the reason I get in trouble for my temper.
My beast can get very aggressive, very quickly. If she feels someone is pushing their dominance on us, she loses it. Most days, it takes all my willpower not to let her out.
I’ve only ever shifted once and that was in front of my father. I remember the look of horror on his face, he told me to shift back and to never shift again. I felt like the worst daughter in the world, that I had failed him in some way. I never asked why I couldn’t shift, I just didn’t. I couldn’t let him down.
I climb into the shower and turn it on cold to wash away the remnants of my dreams. I’ve had sex with humans and wolves from our pack before but the passion and need in my dreams is way more intense than any sexual encounter I’ve ever had.
Rushing to dry myself, I throw on a simple black sports bra and yoga pants, then run down the stairs as quietly as I can, to avoid waking my brother.
My brother and I couldn’t be more different. His black hair and blue eyes are the typical trait passed around in the pack, whereas my strawberry-blonde hair and green eyes stand out like a sore thumb. It’s uncommon for any wolf to have blond hair. The only other blonde werewolf I met got her’s from a bottle.
It’s what started me out as such a pariah in the pack. My hair was black as a child, but by the time I turned five, it had started to change. Once I hit puberty, my eyes were a bright green, similar to my namesake, my hair was strawberry-blonde, and my body was becoming all curves, which made all the other females jealous.
I get it. I know I’m okay to look at although when I’m faced with the others who are thin with dark hair and blue or brown eyes, it makes them seem normal. The females have made it extremely clear that I’m the unattractive one, not them. What wolf would want a female that stands out? It opens them up to being challenged as mates.
Out in the back yard, my father has already started his morning stretches. He trains four times a day, according to Brendan, so I doubled my training to match his level. Morning training by myself, then with the others my age in the pack, another round of fitness training in the afternoon and then my night training with my father. Today it looks like I’ll get a dose of training with him in the morning as well.
His eyes lift at the sound of my footsteps, “Emerald, I see you’re up early. Would you like to train with me this morning?” he asks, watching me for any sign of refusal.
One of the biggest rules you’re taught as a wolf is to show no weakness. Refusal is weakness. Once a wolf knows you’re submissive, you’ll never move up the ranks. I let myself ooze the dominance I feel
before responding, “Of course I would, but only if you can take it? You’re getting a bit old these days,” I tease.
I love my father dearly and while he may be getting older, no way is he weak. The only one that even comes close in power to him is my only sibling, my younger brother Brendan, and the day he takes over the pack, is the day I’ll leave. I could challenge Brendan to rule but the eldest son of the current alpha is usually considered for the role of alpha, not the eldest child. Female pack leaders are out there, but our pack isn’t quite that progressive. Yay for female empowerment!
While being an amazing father and pack leader, Dad is considered too soft to rule the pack, especially when it comes to me.
I’ve been in trouble multiple times, sometimes it was my fault, other times, I was being framed by the more spoilt wolves in the pack. Any other wolf would have lost their life for the things that I have done, but somehow, I always seem to get away with a warning. I believe Dad knows just what I am capable of, which is why he only punished me for the things I had actually done.
“Okay, my little gem, you think I’m getting old and can’t take it, let’s see you put your money where your mouth is,” he smirks, throwing off his jacket, circling me with his teeth bared.
I match his movements, studying where his attack will come from, so as not to give him an opening. Once he sees one, daughter or not, he’ll take it.
Training with my father is fun because I always learn something new. Whether it be a new defensive technique or a new stall tactic, it helps me in the long run. The first time we trained together he knocked me on my ass too many times to count, but in doing so I also figured out the quickest way to drop someone on their own ass.
Afterwards, he had explained that he wouldn’t always be around, and that I needed to be prepared for when that day came. He couldn’t afford for me to be weak, when the time came for me to be in charge. I was fifteen and at that time, he’d left me more confused than anything. Brendan is supposed to lead the pack, not me. Technically I’m the older one and it would usually fall to me but with my half breed status, no one is going to want me as Alpha. Besides, if I did accept the title, I would have to deal with constant challenges by those who thought I was unworthy.
Dad didn’t want to be Alpha, but his brother was banished from the pack for being a traitor by my grandparents. Since he was the only living child in the family line, he automatically got the job. I have no idea where my grandparents live now. I assume they’ve passed on because they’re never mentioned. It’s a taboo subject.
We’re still circling each other, both being careful. Luck is on my side when I see him stumble over an unseen branch. I lunge, delivering a roundhouse kick aimed for his face. He recovers at the last second, dodging me, using my momentum to push me back. Landing on my back, I immediately use my hands to flip myself back up.
We deliver punches, kicks and dodges over the next thirty minutes, neither of us landing more than a blow here or there. My father backs up, holding both hands up in a stop gesture, signalling the end of our session. Once he’s a reasonable distance away, I double over with my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath.
Dad however looks unfazed, “You’ve gotten faster,” he says, impressed. Inside, I preen at the compliment as he rarely ever gives them. I mumble ‘Thanks,’ in between pants. My lungs hate me right now.
“I’m serious, Emmy. No wolf has faced me like that without having to shift to beat me. You held your own the whole time without even being tempted to. You’re becoming a lot stronger as well. Maybe even strong enough to take over from me.”
Wow! I don’t even know what to say to that. I never thought anyone would think that way about me. I’ve always thought I’d be here until Brendan took over, then I would be banished. Dad had mentioned me taking over the very first time we ever trained together, I thought he was just messing with me. Knowing he thinks I might be strong enough to lead gives me hope that I will be able to live out my life with my pack.
“Thanks, Dad,” I smile, leaning in for a quick hug. Training with Jeremy and the other student wolves starts in five minutes and I can’t be late, or Jeremy will punish me more than normal. Running through the woods, relief spreads across my chest as I realize I have made it to training in time. It doesn’t look like it will matter though, Jeremy still notices I’m the last one to arrive. Great…
Training starts off the same as any other day. We go through drill after drill until the sparring begins. Usually, we would pair up for a one on one fight. Today’s different. Jeremy has other plans. “Okay mutts, since it’s Friday and I won’t have you for the next two days, I think we might move up a step. Today you’ll be sparing against group attacks. I’m going to need volunteers to be the victim and the attackers for the first round,” he rumbles, his voice ringing with command as he looks around the field.
Inside I’m chanting ‘not me’ though I know it will be no use. He always picks me as the victim for an attack.
As if he hears me chanting, he turns to face me, a predatory smile lighting up his face, “Emerald? Why don’t you come up here? You’ll make a perfect volunteer today. Sophie, Brian, Joel, and Xander, how about you be the attackers?” He asks the question, but you can still hear the underlying threat if you don’t submit to his request. The last time I refused, he made me run the length of the pack lands three times. That’s at least forty miles for one lap.
Sophie, Brian, and Joel are all fierce fighters that hate me. Xander is an amazing fighter that pretends I don’t exist. He’s in most of my classes at school, though I feel as if he’ll never notice me again. One night of fun was more than enough for him. Ugh, why can’t I get him out of my head?!
I sigh and walk up to the front, when something along the tree line catches me eye. My father is standing in the shadow of the trees in the back field. Why is he here? Does he want to watch me fail? Has Jeremy been saying I lose my fights? What should I do? I usually pretend to be weaker than normal to avoid more punishments, but if Dad’s watching me, and after what he said about being Alpha one day, I can’t hold back.
He nods, giving me the boost of courage I need to stand taller. I let determination flow through my veins, knowing I won’t let him down. I’ll show him I can handle anything they throw at me.
Once we’re all in position with me in the centre of the other four, Jeremy speaks going over the usual rules.
“Today, you will watch what happens when Emerald is attacked. She will be playing the role of a vampire, while the others will be trying to kill her. The only rule today is no shifting. Anything else goes, just like if you were facing a real vampire,” he says before stepping back, ringing the bell to signal the start.
I wish he hadn’t likened me to a vampire. We, as wolves, are natural enemies with vampires, so having them even pretend I’m one is going to make things even more vicious than normal.
Sophie attacks first using her speed against me, trying to tackle me to the ground in a headlock. I elbow her in the ribs, sliding out from her grip. She grunts, losing her traction, and I’m able to get free.
I don’t get a chance to think about my next move before Xander, Brian, and Joel swoop in, delivering punches and kicks. I’m taken down, curling in on myself to protect my body. They’re hitting me a lot harder than our usual class, which is probably due to the vampire comment. Stupid, fucking Jeremy!
I glance to the side, looking for a way out, but they’re ruthless. Xander delivers a kick that snaps my rib, and I can’t control it any more. My beast breaks free of her cage, rising to the surface, attacking all those who hurt us.
Sophie goes down first. She tries to punch me in the face, and I pull her arm, dislocating it, making her scream in agony. The others hesitate slightly, which is all I need. Before they know it, I’m up and Joel is unconscious on the ground. I don’t even know how that happened.
Brian runs at me, getting thrown back, when my punch hits him directly in the solar plexus. He crumples to the ground,
gasping in pain.
Xander’s the only one left. I look around and meet his gaze, staring at him with loathing, and I swear he pisses his pants. “Your eyes…,” he gasps in horror.
“That’s enough. Everyone leave,” Dad calls abruptly, pulling me to his chest. I don’t stop him, my beast recognises his scent, as he clearly tries to shield my eyes from the others. What could be so wrong that he intervened in training? Jeremy’s going to be pissed.
Once everyone clears the training grounds, Dad starts pulling me along after him. “Emmy, I need you to keep your eyes closed, okay? Don’t open them till we’re in the house,” he begs me.
“Okay, Dad,” I promise.
We traipse through the forest, the scent of strawberries alerting me that we are taking the long way around, past my dying garden. The only fruit left to grow are strawberries which are letting off a half rotten smell.
I try not to over think things, but how can I not? He just pulled me out of training over some freak thing happening with my eyes. I don’t even know what happened. All I do know is, my beast wanted to kill Xander. I know she doesn’t like him but to feel such rage towards him, shocked me.
Finally, I smell the familiar scents of home and sigh in relief when I hear the door open, Dad pulls me through quickly.
“Can I open my eyes?” I ask, hearing him shuffling around the room.
“Not yet, I need to get rid of your mother and brother. Give me five minutes. Here, hold this,” he says putting something in my arms. It feels like my gym bag, but until I open my eyes, I can’t be sure.
Dad hurries off, and I hear voices as he asks Mom and Brendan to leave us for a bit. He doesn’t elaborate much from what I can hear, only mentioning something about punishing me for the training session this morning.
Why would he need to punish me, though? I didn’t do anything wrong.
Ten minutes later, my eyes are starting to hurt from being closed for so long. I’m about to call out to ask if I can open them, when I hear footsteps.