CHAPTER XXIX
AT THE PUMP
This blow was so sharp and heavy that I lost for the moment all power togo on. The sense of ill fortune fell upon me, as it falls upon strongerpeople, when a sudden gleam of hope, breaking through long troubles,mysteriously fades away.
Even the pleasure of indulging in the gloom of evil luck was a thingto be ashamed of now, when I thought of that good man's family thus,without a moment's warning, robbed of love and hope and happiness. ButMrs. Strouss, who often brooded on predestination, imbittered all mythoughts by saying, or rather conveying without words, that my poorfathers taint of some Divine ill-will had re-appeared, and even killedhis banker.
Betsy held most Low-Church views, by nature being a Dissenter. Shecalled herself a Baptist, and in some strange way had stopped me thusfrom ever having been baptized. I do not understand these things, andthe battles fought about them; but knowing that my father was a memberof the English Church, I resolved to be the same, and told Betsy thatshe ought not to set up against her master's doctrine. Then she herselfbecame ashamed of trying to convert me, not only because of my ignorance(which made argument like shooting into the sea), but chiefly becauseshe could mention no one of title with such theology.
This settled the question at once; and remembering (to my shame) whatopinions I had held even of Suan Isco, while being in the very samepredicament myself, reflecting also what Uncle Sam and Firm would havethought of me, had they known it, I anticipated the Major and his dinnerparty by going to a quiet ancient clergyman, who examined me, and beingsatisfied with little, took me to an old City church of deep and dampretirement. And here, with a great din of traffic outside, and a mildewydepth of repose within, I was presented by certain sponsors (the clerkand his wife and his wife's sister), and heard good words, and hope tokeep the impression, both outward and inward, gently made upon me.
I need not say that I kept, and now received with authority, my oldname; though the clerk prefixed an aspirate to it, and indulged in twosyllables only. But the ancient parson knew its meaning, and looked atme with curiosity; yet, being a gentleman of the old school, put never aquestion about it.
Now this being done, and full tidings thereof sent off to Mrs. Hockin,to save trouble to the butcher, or other disappointment, I scarcely knewhow to be moving next, though move I must before very long. For it costme a great deal of money to stay in European Square like this, albeitHerr Strouss was of all men the most generous, by his own avowal, andhis wife (by the same test) noble-hearted among women. Yet each of themspoke of the other's pecuniary views in such a desponding tone (when theother was out of the way), and so lamented to have any thing at allto say about cash--by compulsion of the other--also both, when mettogether, were so large and reckless, and not to be insulted by athought of payment, that it came to pass that my money did nothing butrun away between them.
This was not their fault at all, but all my own, for being unable tokeep my secret about the great nugget. The Major had told me not tospeak of this, according to wise experience; and I had not the smallestintention of doing an atom of mischief in that way; but somehow or otherit came out one night when I was being pitied for my desolation. And allthe charges against me began to be doubled from that moment.
If this had been all, I should not have cared so much, being quitecontent that my money should go as fast as it came in to me. But therewas another thing here which cost me as much as my board and lodgingsand all the rest of my expenses. And that was the iron pump in EuropeanSquare. For this pump stood in the very centre of a huddled districtof famine, filth, and fever. When once I had seen from the leads ofour house the quag of reeking life around, the stubs and snags ofchimney-pots, the gashes among them entitled streets, and the brokenblains called houses, I was quite ashamed of paying any thing to becomea Christian.
Betsy, who stood by me, said that it was better than it used to be,and that all these people lived in comfort of their own ideas, fiercelyresented all interference, and were good to one another in their ownrough way. It was more than three years since there had been a singlemurder among them, and even then the man who was killed confessed thathe deserved it. She told me, also, that in some mining district ofWales, well known to her, things were a great deal worse than here,although the people were not half so poor. And finally, looking at aruby ring which I had begged her to wear always, for the sake of hertruth to me, she begged me to be wiser than to fret about things that Icould not change. "All these people, whose hovels I saw, had the meansof grace before them, and if they would not stretch forth their hands,it was only because they were vessels of wrath. Her pity was ratherfor our poor black brethren who had never enjoyed no opportunities, andtherefore must be castaways."
Being a stranger, and so young, and accustomed to receive my doctrine(since first I went to America), I dropped all intention of attemptingany good in places where I might be murdered. But I could not helplooking at the pump which was in front, and the poor things who camethere for water, and, most of all, the children. With these it wasalmost the joy of the day, and perhaps the only joy, to come into thislittle open space and stand, and put their backs up stiffly, and stareabout, ready for some good luck to turn up--such as a horse to hold, ora man coming out of the docks with a half-penny to spare--and then,in failure of such golden hope, to dash about, in and out, after oneanother, splashing, and kicking over their own cans, kettles, jars, orbuckets, and stretching their dirty little naked legs, and showing veryoften fine white chests, and bright teeth wet with laughter. And then,when this chivy was done, and their quick little hearts beat aloud withglory, it was pretty to see them all rally round the pump, as craftyas their betters, and watching with sly humor each other's readiness tobegin again.
Then suddenly a sense of neglected duty would seize some little bodywith a hand to its side, nine times out of ten a girl, whose mother,perhaps, lay sick at home, and a stern idea of responsibility beganto make the buckets clank. Then might you see, if you cared to do so,orderly management have its turn--a demand for pins and a tucking upof skirts (which scarcely seemed worthy of the great young fuss), largechildren scolding little ones not a bit more muddy than themselves, thewhile the very least child of all, too young as yet for chivying, andonly come for company, would smooth her comparatively clean frock down,and look up at her sisters with condemnatory eyes.
Trivial as they were, these things amused me much, and made a littlechecker of reflected light upon the cloud of selfish gloom, especiallywhen the real work began, and the children, vying with one another,set to at the iron handle. This was too large for their little hands tograsp, and by means of some grievance inside, or perhaps through a crueltrick of the plumber, up went the long handle every time small fingerswere too confiding, and there it stood up like the tail of a rampantcow, or a branch inaccessible, until an old shawl or the cord of apeg-top could be cast up on high to reduce it. But some engineering boy,"highly gifted," like Uncle Sam's self, "with machinery," had discoveredan ingenious cure for this. With the help of the girls he used to fastena fat little thing, about twelve months old, in the bend at the middleof the handle, and there (like a ham on the steelyard) hung this babyand enjoyed seesaw, and laughed at its own utility.
I never saw this, and the splashing and dribbling and play and brightrevelry of water, without forgetting all sad counsel and discretion,and rushing out as if the dingy pump were my own delicious Blue River.People used to look at me from the windows with pity and astonishment,supposing me to be crazed or frantic, especially the Germans. For to runout like this, without a pocket full of money, would have been insanity;and to run out with it, to their minds, was even clearer proof of thatcondition. For the money went as quickly as the water of the pump; onthis side and on that it flew, each child in succession making deeperdrain upon it, in virtue of still deeper woes. They were dreadful littlestory-tellers, I am very much afraid; and the long faces pulled, assoon as I came out, in contrast with all the recent glee and frolic,suggested to even the
youngest charity suspicions of some inconsistency.However, they were so ingenious and clever that they worked my pocketslike the pump itself, only with this unhappy difference, that the formerhad no inexhaustible spring of silver, or even of copper.
And thus, by a reason (as cogent as any of more exalted nature), wasI driven back to my head-quarters, there to abide till a fresh supplyshould come. For Uncle Sam, generous and noble as he was, did not meanto let me melt all away at once my share of the great Blue River nugget,any more than to make ducks and drakes of his own. Indeed, that rock ofgold was still untouched, and healthily reposing in a banker's cellarin the good town of Sacramento. People were allowed to go in and seeit upon payment of a dollar, and they came out so thirsty from feastingupon it that a bar was set up, and a pile of money made--all thegentlemen, and ladies even worse than they, taking a reckless turn aboutsmall money after seeing that. But dear Uncle Sam refused every cent ofthe profit of all this excitable work. It was wholly against his wishthat any thing so artificial should be done at all, and his sense ofreligion condemned it. He said, in his very first letter to me, thateven a heathen must acknowledge this champion nugget as the grandestwork of the Lord yet discovered in America--a country more full of allworks of the Lord than the rest of the world put together. And to keepit in a cellar, without any air or sun, grated harshly upon his ideas ofright.
However, he did not expect every body to think exactly as he did, andif they could turn a few dollars upon it, they were welcome, as havinglarge families. And the balance might go to his credit against theinterest on any cash advanced to him. Not that he meant to be very fastwith this, never having run into debt in all his life.
This, put shortly, was the reason why I could not run to the pump anylonger. I had come into England with money enough to last me (accordingto the Sawyer's calculations) for a year and a half of every needfulwork; whereas, in less than half that time, I was arriving at my lastpenny. This reminded me of my dear father, who was nearly always introuble about money (although so strictly upright); and at first I wasproud to be like him about this, till I came to find the disadvantages.
It must not even for a moment be imagined that this made any differencein the behavior of any one toward me. Mrs. Strouss, Herr Strouss, thelady on the stairs, and a very clever woman who had got no rooms, butwas kindly accommodated every where, as well as the baron on the firstfloor front, and the gentleman from a hotel at Hanover, who lookedout the other way, and even the children at the pump--not one made anydifference toward me (as an enemy might, perhaps, suppose) because mylast half crown was gone. It was admitted upon every side that I oughtto be forgiven for my random cast of money, because I knew no better,and was sure to have more in a very little time. And the children ofthe pump came to see me go away, through streets of a mile and a half, Ishould think; and they carried my things, looking after one another, sothat none could run away. And being forbidden at the platform gate, forwant of respectability, they set up a cheer, and I waved my hat, andpromised, amidst great applause, to come back with it full of sixpences.
Erema; Or, My Father's Sin Page 29