Emma went to her room and collected her toilet bag then made her way to the bathroom. She felt too restless to sleep and was hoping that a long, hot soak in the bath would help her relax. Turning on the taps, she added a generous dollop of bubble bath to the water then stripped off her clothes. Water had been in short supply where she had been working recently and it was a luxury to be able to fill the bath almost to the brim.
She slid into the scented bubbles with an appreciative groan and closed her eyes. Whether it was the warmth of the water or the silence, she soon drifted off to sleep only to awake with a start when the bathroom door suddenly opened. Emma’s eyes shot open as she stared at Daniel in dismay.
‘What are you doing? Get out!’
‘I’m sorry. I had no idea you were in here. The door wasn’t locked,’ he began, then stopped.
Emma saw him swallow and looked down, feeling her heart leap when she realised that all the bubbles had melted away while she’d slept. Without them to conceal her, her body was naked to his gaze and she could tell that the sight was having an effect. Water sloshed over the side of the bath as she scrambled to her feet and reached for a towel off the rail, but Daniel was ahead of her.
‘Here.’ He passed her a towel then turned away while she wrapped it around herself.
Emma stepped out of the bath, shaking her wet hair out of her eyes. She felt both cold and shivery, and it owed little to the fact that she’d been lying in the cooling water for too long. Daniel wanted her: she had seen it in his eyes, seen the desire that had filled them just now. The thought should have repulsed her but it didn’t—just the opposite, in fact. Heat suddenly scorched along her veins when she realised with a jolt of shock that she wanted him too… .
Afterwards, she was never sure what happened next, whether she made some sort of small betraying sound or it was sheer coincidence that he turned at that moment. There was a second when their eyes locked and held before he slowly reached out and touched her cheek.
‘Emma.’
Her name sounded so different when he said it that way, his deep voice throbbing with hunger and need. Emma wasn’t aware of moving yet all of a sudden she was standing in front of him, so close that she could feel the tremor that passed through his body. When his hand lifted to her face again, she didn’t move, just stood there while his fingers grazed along her jaw, gliding so lightly over her skin that it was hard to know for sure if he was actually touching her.
‘Your skin’s so soft,’ he whispered as his fingers came to rest a millimetre away from her mouth.
Emma knew that if she dipped her head the barest fraction she would feel them on her lips and the thought was the sweetest kind of torment. She wanted him to touch her mouth but she wasn’t sure where it would lead if he did. Could she allow Daniel to touch her, caress her, make love to her, and not feel anything except desire? Maybe it was what she needed to finally get him out of her system. Although she had been out with other men since they had split up, she had never wanted to sleep with any of them. In the beginning she had been too wary of getting hurt to risk getting involved and, more recently, she had been so busy in work that she’d had no time for a private life—or so she had told herself. Now Emma found herself wondering if the truth was far more complicated: she had never really drawn a line under her affair with Daniel so that she could move on.
This could be the perfect opportunity to do so, but still she hesitated. Her feelings for Daniel were so muddled up. Although sleeping with him might give her the closure she needed, it might achieve just the opposite result. What if she found that the old feelings she’d had for him, the ones she had thought were dead and buried a long time ago, were still very much alive?
It was the uncertainty that scared her, the thought that she might regret whichever decision she made for the rest of her life.
CHAPTER NINE
DANIEL could feel his heart racing. It wasn’t just this desire he felt to take Emma in his arms and make love to her that was causing it to happen but fear as well. For the past five years he had kept his emotions strictly under wraps. It hadn’t been difficult. He had never had a proper relationship with another woman since they had split up and had never wanted one. Although he dated frequently, he steadfastly avoided commitment. Whenever he made love to a woman, it was a purely physical experience: he had remained emotionally detached. However, he knew he wouldn’t be able to do that with Emma.
Fear turned his guts to ice and he froze. Emma was standing stock still as well and he sensed that she was fighting her own inner battle about what should happen. He was already preparing himself for the inevitable rejection when her head dipped just a fraction. He sucked in his breath when he felt her mouth brush his fingers. Heat surged through his veins, melting away the fear that had filled him only moments before. He wanted her so much, wanted to bury himself in her softness and sweetness while they made love. Maybe it was madness and maybe he would regret it later but right now he needed this more than he had needed anything in his life!
He drew her into his arms and it was like coming home. Her body felt so sweetly familiar as it nestled against him, each soft curve fitting so perfectly that he didn’t have to think how he should hold her—he just did. He could feel her breasts pressing against his chest and closed his eyes as a wave of pure pleasure swept over him. She felt so right in his arms that the years they’d spent apart might never have happened.
‘Daniel?’
Her voice was low, the uncertainty it held filling him with tenderness. Bending, her touched her mouth with his in a kiss that was meant to reassure and calm her fears. However, the moment his lips tasted hers desire took over. He pulled her to him, letting her feel the effect she was having on him, and felt her tremble. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that she was equally affected and his heart overflowed with joy. Even after everything that had happened, Emma still wanted him!
He kissed her again with a passion that immediately had her clinging to him. When her lips opened, inviting him to deepen the kiss, he groaned. He was shaking by the time he drew back but so was she. Cupping her face between his hands, he looked deep into her eyes, hoping she could see how much this meant to him.
‘I want to make love to you, Emma, more than anything, but are you sure it’s what you really want?’
‘Yes.’ Her voice was still low but there was a conviction in it now that reassured him she knew exactly what she was doing. ‘It’s what I want too, Daniel.’
‘Good.’
He smiled as he bent and kissed her again. When he lifted her up into his arms, she rested her head on his shoulder. He carried her back to her room and laid her down on the narrow single bed then sat down beside her. Reaching out, he tugged gently on the folds of damp towel, feeling his breath catch when they parted to reveal her body to his gaze. Her breasts were high and full, the rose-pink nipples standing erect and proud beneath his gaze. Her waist was narrow, her hips curved, her thighs smooth and firm. Every tiny inch of her was so perfect that for a moment he was overwhelmed by her beauty and couldn’t move. It was only when she placed her hand on his that the spell was broken.
He lifted her hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss against her palm. ‘You’re beautiful, Emma,’ he whispered, his voice grating with the force of his desire.
‘Am I?’ She smiled at him, her green eyes heavy with passion.
‘Yes. More beautiful than any woman I’ve ever known.’
He kissed her palm again then gently placed her hand by her side while his fingers trailed across her wrist and up her arm. He paused when he came to her shoulder. Her skin was still slightly damp from her bath and he allowed himself a moment to savour its warmth and moistness under his fingertips. When his hand moved on, following the line of her collarbone, he heard her murmur and smiled. This was one journey they were both enjoying making together.
His fingers traced the delicate bones until they came to her throat where once again they lingered. Daniel could feel her pulse beatin
g, could feel it racing, in fact, but as his was racing too it didn’t seem strange. Bending, he let the tip of his tongue touch the spot where it beat so strongly and felt her shudder, and shuddered too, more affected by her response than he would have believed. In that second he realised just how different it was making love to Emma than to any other woman. Whatever she felt, he felt too; they were that much in tune.
The thought almost blew him away but there were more delights awaiting him and he wanted to savour them all. His hand glided down her throat, following the lines of her body as it skated over the swell of her breasts, the dip of her waist, the curve of her hips. He could have stopped at any one of those places, and remained there quite happily too, but he was greedy to reacquaint himself with every inch of her delectable body.
Her thighs came next, then her knees and her ankles followed by her feet. As he caressed her toes, Daniel knew that he would never feel this depth of desire for any other woman. It was only Emma he had ever wanted so totally, only Emma he had ever loved so completely.
Emma could feel the desire building inside her as Daniel continued to stroke and caress every inch of her body. He had always been a considerate lover, taking time and care to ensure that she enjoyed their love-making as much as he did. She’d had a couple of brief affairs before she had met him, but nobody had ever made her feel as loved and as cherished as Daniel did. When his hand began its upward journey, retracing the route it had taken, she closed her eyes, relishing the touch of his fingers as they glided over her skin. She knew that she had given in to temptation and that she might regret it later, but at that moment it didn’t seem to matter. All she wanted right now was to feel: his hand on her thighs, on her belly, her breasts….
Desire shot through her, red-hot and urgent, when his hand was replaced by his mouth as he took her nipple between his lips and suckled her, and she gasped. She had forgotten how intensely Daniel could make her feel, how he could carry her to a peak of need and then take her even higher. No man had ever done that apart from him. No man ever would.
Pain lanced her heart at the thought but there was no time to dwell on it because his mouth had moved to her other breast. Once again there was that surge of desire that made her stomach muscles clench and her senses reel. When he raised his head, Emma was no longer capable of thinking, only feeling, and he must have realised that. His mouth skimmed up her throat and captured hers in a kiss so raw, so filled with passion that it seemed to consume her totally. She could barely breathe when he drew back but, then, neither could he. They looked at one another for a long moment and she could see the same wonderment in his eyes that she knew must be in hers.
‘Emma, I …’
He stopped and shook his head, although whether it was because he couldn’t find the words to describe how he felt or because he was reluctant to say them, she wasn’t sure, and maybe it was for the best. Even though she had no idea what would happen later, she knew that this wasn’t the start of something more. Passion was one thing but love was something completely different and she knew for certain that Daniel didn’t love her.
Tears filled her eyes but she blinked them away. She refused to cry. The past was over, the future unknown; it was the here and now that mattered. When Daniel stood up and stripped off his clothes, she focused on the moment, nothing more. And when he lay down beside her and took her in his arms, she let their passion sweep her away to a place where nothing else existed except her and Daniel and the magic they were creating together.
The air was cool when Daniel awoke the following morning. The central heating hadn’t switched on yet and the temperature had dropped considerably through the night. Leaning over, he carefully drew the quilt over Emma’s shoulders, resisting the urge he felt to kiss her awake. They had made love several times during the night and it wouldn’t be fair to wake her when she needed to sleep.
He sighed as he swung his legs out of bed and stood up. Had it been fair to make love to her in the first place? Last night he’d been carried away by his desire for her but now it was time to face up to what he had done. He had made love to Emma when he had known in his heart that it was the last thing he should have done. It made no difference that she had been as eager and as willing as he’d been; he should have had the strength to resist temptation. He would never forgive himself if he ended up hurting her through his selfishness.
Daniel’s heart was heavy as he made his way to the bathroom. Switching on the shower, he let the hot water pound down on his head and shoulders. However, if he’d hoped that it would wash away some of the guilt he felt then he was disappointed. Last night shouldn’t have happened and there was no excuse for his actions. All he could do now was to try and lessen the damage he may have caused.
He went to his room and dressed then made his way to the kitchen. As soon as the kettle boiled he made himself a cup of instant coffee and sat down at the table while he tried to work out how he should handle things. So much depended on how Emma felt about the situation, of course. Would she be stricken with guilt too? He hoped not. Emma wasn’t to blame for the fact that he had been unable to control himself!
‘Stop it, Daniel.’
The sound of her voice brought his head up. Daniel’s heart gave an almighty lurch when he saw her standing in the doorway. She was wearing a thick towelling robe and he knew without having to be told that she wasn’t wearing anything under it. Heat scorched along his veins and he cursed soundlessly. He couldn’t afford to dwell on thoughts like that when he had to make sure that Emma didn’t come to any harm.
‘I don’t know what you mean,’ he said, his voice sounding unnaturally gruff as he tried to work out how to salvage the situation.
‘Of course you do.’ She came into the room and stood in front of the table. ‘You’re sitting there, wallowing in guilt because of what happened last night, and it’s so typically arrogant of you.’
‘Arrogant?’ His brows shot skywards and he looked at her in surprise.
‘Yes.’ Resting her hands on the edge of the table she bent so that she could look straight into his eyes. ‘You didn’t coerce me into bed, neither did you have your wicked way with me. I made love with you because I wanted to. If I hadn’t wanted to, it would never have happened. Is that clear?’
‘Yes.’ He was so stunned by her forthright approach that he couldn’t think what else to say but Emma didn’t seem to expect him to say anything.
‘Good. The last thing I need is you thinking that I’m holding out for a reconciliation.’ She gave a sharp laugh. ‘Last night was fun and I enjoyed it but that’s as far as it went. It certainly wasn’t the start of something more.’
‘That’s how I feel too,’ Daniel said thickly. Even though he knew he should be relieved that she felt this way, he couldn’t help feeling hurt that their love-making had meant so little to her.
‘It seems we’re in agreement, then.’ She gave him a cool little smile and went to switch on the kettle.
Daniel finished his coffee in a couple of quick gulps and excused himself. Emma was making toast when he left the kitchen, acting as though everything was completely normal, and maybe it was for her. Maybe she’d had a string of lovers in the past few years, men she had enjoyed the odd night of passion with. She’d mentioned her boss, hadn’t she? Richard something-or-other. Maybe he was one of them, although there could be a long line of past and present suitors for all he knew. Although he hated the idea, what right did he have to criticise how she lived her life? The truth was that he had forfeited any rights where Emma was concerned five years ago. She was free to do whatever she wished.
The thought was so agonising that Daniel knew he had to get out of the house before he made a fool of himself. Unhooking his coat off the peg, he let himself out of the front door. His car was parked in the drive so he got in and started the engine. When he reached the main road, he headed towards Harrogate purely because it was somewhere to aim for. He wasn’t heading to somewhere but away from a place where it was too painful
to be. The trouble was that no matter how many miles he put between himself and Emma, it didn’t stop him thinking about her, definitely didn’t stop him wishing that things could have been different.
Emma managed to maintain her composure until she heard Daniel’s car driving away. She sank down onto a chair, feeling sick and shaken by what had happened. She had known the moment she had seen him sitting at the table that he had regretted what had happened the night before. It had been pride that had helped her deal with the situation, pride plus the fear of what might happen if he realised how much it had meant to her.
She bit her lip, overwhelmed by a sudden feeling of dread. Making love with Daniel had been everything she could have wished for but she wasn’t foolish enough to think that it had meant anything special to him. Maybe he had desired her but that was all it had been. Whilst she had tried to convince herself that it would be the ideal way to draw a line under the past, she doubted if Daniel had viewed it that way. He hadn’t needed to because he had got over her a long time ago. There was no way that had he been celibate for the past five years, and last night she had been just another in a long line of women willing and eager to give him pleasure.
The thought of Daniel making love to all those other women was incredibly painful, so Emma tried not to dwell on it. There were just two weeks left of her stay and after that she would return to the life she had built for herself. It had taken her a long time to get over Daniel the last time and she couldn’t bear to think that she would have to go through that kind of heartache again, so she would make sure he didn’t gain any kind of hold over her. And that meant there must never be a repeat of what had happened last night.
Daniel was snatching five minutes’ break in the middle of what had turned out to be an extremely busy Monday morning surgery when Emma knocked on his door.
‘Ruth said you didn’t have a patient with you at the moment,’ she explained as she came into the room.
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