by Leigh Lennon
“C, let’s go upstairs. Let’s talk.” This time, she yanked her arm from my grasp, and her eyes didn’t simply narrow in on me; I think they could have disintegrated my entire body.
“Okay, you want to know what’s wrong with me?” she whispered, her voice lowered so I heard her but Dec on her other hip couldn’t. She leaned forward, and her pitch was more distinguished with her pissed-off tone.
“Two years ago today, we signed our divorce papers. So, yeah, the day of our divorce, the day we said goodbye to us, still stings.” She twisted away from my reach, almost running out the door, all while Declan waved at me over Clara’s shoulder.
I stood in the doorway for at least five minutes before I could move. Her words cut to the core, but what was worse was the loss and destruction I left in her life in the wake of infidelity, which all belonged to me—even after all this time.
2
Clara
I had forgiven Bodhi, I really had—or so I told myself every day when I pulled my lonely body out of bed. But when I looked at the date, September 14th, I realized it was our two-year anniversary. But not the type of anniversary I’d dreamed I’d celebrate when we’d both said I do for life.
“Mommy, Mama, Mother, Ma, Mom,” Declan called out, hugging me like a plush hanging monkey with magnetic hands wrapped around my neck. He was like this after the three-day stint at his dad’s. He didn’t hate being with Bodhi, but he was a mama’s boy.
“I missed you, too, little buddy.” He leaned his head back just enough so I could kiss him on the cheeks. He wasn’t a cuddly kid. Most kids on the spectrum weren’t, but for me, he was. It drove Bodhi crazy, and he took it as a personal attack against him, but he wasn’t around Declan as much as I was. He knew it was his fault, but I didn’t know if he’d ever forgive himself for what he had done.
I hadn’t meant to throw it in his face. He was a good man who made a colossal mistake. And I might have been able to forgive the cheating, but he lied to me for years. I wasn’t sure what we would have done if he’d shared his bisexuality with me. Could I have allowed him to get what he needed from a man? Could I have been okay with it? I mean, I knew it worked. I’d seen it firsthand with my best friend’s brother. They were all over the newspapers, but when my husband chose to bring a man into our sacred bed, he took the control out of my hands. His dishonesty led to the end of our marriage.
Walking the short way to Declan’s daycare, I stopped in a little room off from the lobby to take his blood sugar level—he hated anyone to watch. Not only was our little guy on the spectrum but he also had type one diabetes. It was manageable, but the daycare was the most elite with healthcare professionals for those with medical issues. And as soon as the on-call nurse went over his vitals for the day, I kissed my boy goodbye, leaving a little bit of my heart behind.
I emerged in the hustle and bustle of a busy Chicago street with the end of summer in sight. I worked mainly from my publisher’s headquarters, where I rented a small office away from my house. This way, my work hours were my work hours, and when I was done for the day, I left everything where it should stay, at work. That was, until I was closer to a deadline—then I worked like a crazy woman everywhere. It was also a close five-minute walk to Declan’s daycare.
As I was turning the corner to my building, my text alert chirped. The name on the screen changed my mood instantly, and an out-and-out smile, something that had been absent since I looked at my calendar earlier this morning, broke out on my face. Seeing how I had her programmed in my phone, it was true. Daria and I had been friends since the first day at college; especially when we found out we were not only roommates but had the same major, too.
BFF: Hey, Bitchity Babe, my flight gets in tonight. Is it still okay for me to stay with you?
I did well for myself—more than that—and was able to support my son and me without issue. I downsized to a smaller apartment after the divorce, though it was in a better complex because security was important to me, being alone. But when Daria published her first series of books about a rich couple who found the girl of their dreams, her books flew off the racks. And she had been cornered by many different production companies but had yet to accept any offers.
Me: If you stay anywhere else, Bitchity Bitch, I’ll gag you and tie you up and drag you back to my place. Anyway, Declan needs to see his aunt Daria.
I hadn’t yet pocketed my phone when the bubbles appeared on the screen.
BFF: Okay, that’s settled. And I can’t wait to hug you. Daimen insists I come by his house first to see my nieces and nephew as soon as I get in. He’s so bossy. Meet me in the bar of his apartment complex around seven?
This made my job easier. She was flying in to meet her new nephew and nieces, so it hadn’t surprised me that she’d go straight there. I couldn’t believe they were hosting Daria’s thirtieth birthday party at their house with one-month-old triplets. Daria had been so disappointed when they came a little early. She was still on her book tour. Once she finished, she caught the first flight from Tucson to Chicago. My day had just gotten ten times better, and because of that, I almost forgot what today was.
God bless my mother. I walked into my apartment in River North, the home I bought after my divorce. It was smaller than what I shared with Bo, but it was still high-end and in a secure building. This time, I furnished it shabby chic without any of the cold glass and metal furniture Bodhi preferred.
“Hey, honey!” she called from down the hall. Not only had she braved the streets of Chicago to pick up Declan for me early but she was also cooking his favorite dinner. Though Declan is so close to my work, it allowed me to work longer and for her to spoil my son. And because my son had my mother wrapped around his finger, she was making homemade chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese. Laura Ashley was everything a domestic goddess should be. I’d learned from the best, but my son would eat chicken nuggets and mac and cheese every day if I allowed it.
I popped my head in the kitchen. The marble countertops and gray cabinets were a mere backdrop for my mother in her apron, and Declan sat in his booster seat at the table. “Mommy, Mama, Mother, Ma, Mom.”
I swung into the eat-in dining room and dropped a kiss on Declan’s sweet little face. “Did you take his blood sugar?” I asked while my mother brought me in for a hug. I trusted so few people with Declan, my mother being the only one besides his father.
“Yes, honey. This isn’t my first rodeo,” my mother teased. However, she never held it against me when I asked about his diabetes. She understood the nervous Nellie of a mama I was.
“Thanks, Mom.” Twisting my wrist over to look at my watch, I placed one last kiss on my son’s head. I attempted to make my way to my room, but my mom’s soft touch stopped me.
“Clara, hon”—she paused, rubbing her hands together—“I wanted to ask how you’re doing today.” My own mother knew what today was, even if my ex-husband hadn’t remembered.
“I’m fine, Mom.” Her eyes widened, her way of telling me to stop faking it. “Mom, I’m really okay. I really need this night with Daria, though.” And it was the only thing that had gotten me through today when I wrote less than five hundred usable words for my next book.
“Clara, honey, you don’t have to lie to me.” My mother’s face, so similar to my own, told me she understood the pain I felt on this day each year.
My sneaky mother always read me better than I did myself. I sighed, stepping out of Declan’s earshot where I could still see him. “Okay, so it sucks. I’ve never stopped loving him. And every time his eyes fall on me, I know he wants a second chance.”
She swung her gaze away from me. My mother lost something the day of our divorce, too. She loved Bodhi Chambers almost as much as I had. “Yeah, honey, I see it every time I drop Dec off with Bo. He lives for the slightest glimpse of you.” Her words stop abruptly, and just as my mom knew me, I knew her.
“Mom, what?” I probed.
“Is he dating anyone, someone?” And in all of it, my
mother understood and agreed with me; the infidelity wasn’t the part I couldn’t forgive, but him choosing to hide a large chunk of himself from me.
“Does he have a boyfriend? That’s what you’re asking, right?” She shrugged. “To my knowledge, he doesn’t. But I know he’s dated here and there. Just heard about it through the grapevine, that is.” Well, it was easy when my best friend and his best friend were siblings. I got Daria in the divorce. He got Dominic.
“And you?” Her gaze was directed at me with her question. She wanted an answer I wasn’t willing to give yet. To date meant I would trust again or at least trust my own judgment.
“Oh, Mom, if I were to start dating, you’d know. Who else would watch Declan?” I certainly wouldn’t call up Bodhi. Hey, Bo. You mind watching Dec so I can go out and get some? Yeah, that wouldn’t be happening.
3
Jack
How the hell had I agreed to this? I didn’t know the guest of honor, who this surprise party was being thrown for. Yet, this crew who’d adopted me as their own had me suiting up for a night on the town when most of my evenings consisted of a glass of wine and a good book. I was a boring man.
Since returning to Chicago six months ago, my friends had become more like stalkers. And Cami and Dane, my last triad, had welcomed me back in their lives.
It still didn’t explain why the hell I was dressed for this party. Bypassing the lobby, I typed in the security code to the luxurious penthouse. I seemed to be a part of happy couples and threesomes. Somehow, I wasn’t jealous, though I was lonely as fuck.
The elevator doors opened automatically to the billionaire’s home, and I was met with a shit ton of laughter. I was surprised this threesome would open their home so soon after having triplets a month ago.
Elliot spotted me standing in front of the elevator door, plotting my escape. “Don’t you dare leave,” she called. “You are a part of us now. That means you have to suffer through every party we throw, and we throw a shit ton.” She was cradling a baby in her arms, and it reminded me of the sleepless nights with Maggie when I was part of Cami and Dane’s life. It sent little pangs down my spine. I had been the stupid motherfucker who walked away.
I’d willingly given up on the man and woman I loved, and it didn’t change things. I hadn’t stopped loving them, and still only had half of my leg. I couldn’t accept a family or that I’d lost a part of me. It took leaving them behind for me to take inventory of my life.
“Am I that obvious?” I asked, flashing a little smirk for good measure.
“Well, we’ve been around you enough. I understand we’re a little overbearing.” Her gaze dropped to her little baby. “Have you met Gunnar yet?” I was still getting to know Elliot, and her men, Daimen Torrano and Arden Blakely. They were married, the three of them, though the lawyer in me knew it wasn’t legal. But to them, this was their life. They were as committed as any traditional marriage, but in this day and age, I truly believed threesomes would be legal one day, too.
Elliot had a kind heart. She found her forever with her men, and they were fun to be around. With Cami, Dane, Miles and the girls in New York, I was getting closer to this particular threesome, and it helped the loneliness of being by myself. With her deep emerald eyes and her dark blond hair, the sparkle in her expression was evident.
I peeked over the little blanket bundling him. “No, I haven’t.” Again, with just one look at the sweet baby, I was reminded of a time I was a part of a family, but I didn’t let this show. “Ah, hell, he’s a cutie, Ell.”
“Yeah, we’re sort of fond of them. My two daughters are being hogged by their daddies,” she explained, and with a little smirk crawling on her face, her happiness in the life she chose was evident. “Well, promise me you’ll stay to meet Daimen’s sister. She’s a hoot and a part of the gang, too.”
I wouldn’t promise her anything, but when she pulled me into their living space with her free arm, I was immersed into this weird family-like bond everyone shared. Before I could say hi to any of the familiar faces, Daimen called out, “Daria is on her way.”
Through this whole thing, I’d been told Daria’s best friend was in charge of getting her to the penthouse for her 30th birthday. Apparently, Daria was a world-famous erotic romance writer, and Arden, Daimen, and Elliot’s story had been an inspiration for her books as they were flying off the bookshelves.
Twisting my body around, I looked for any familiar faces. I was most comfortable with Cami, Dane, and Miles; however, it took me a second to remember they would be in New York for the next year. It was the contract I had drawn up for the famous actor. He was producing a musical that was dubbed for next year’s Tony Award even though it hadn’t even opened yet. I missed them all, especially on nights like tonight when I was still getting used to this overbearing crowd.
The ding of the elevator had everyone on alert, and the two strangers rounded the corner of the foyer into the living space to a loud roar of surprise. There was no denying who Daria Torrano was, especially when she was the one who screamed in shock. She was the spitting image of her brother and dare I say, beautiful. I felt bad for the lucky bastard who had to contend with her big brother.
But the other woman, someone who had my attention right away, was stunning in her own right. No, downright beautiful and it had been a long time since any woman, or man for that matter, had gotten my attention.
Elliot, who had decided to be my chaperone for the night, leaned over near me. “Someone’s gotten your attention, counselor.” I didn’t know I was smiling or staring when my gaze followed her. Her hair was a bit odd, silver with pink streaks, and she was neither tall nor short, wearing all black from her low-cut boots to black leather pants and a skintight tank top. She was younger than me by at least ten years, but as my gaze raked over everything that was eye-appealing, I could feel a smile broaden on my face.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, my good lady,” I jested, but when Elliot raised one eyebrow and flattened her lips to mine, I was caught, and there was no reason to deny it. Anyway, Elliot could very well be my ally tonight, especially if I wanted to learn more about the lovely woman in all black. “Okay, I’ll admit it, she is…” I lost my train of thought as she turned around. As if she could sense my gaze on her, her eyes locked with mine.
I didn’t look away. There’d been a time when I’d been very confident in the man I was. Before I lost my leg. But now, after years of soul searching, I’d found myself again. When her stare didn’t move from me, I winked, and this garnered me a smile from her almost pouty lips.
“Jack, you were saying?” Elliot asked.
“I was going to say she’s stunning, but I’m not sure it’s the right word to describe her.”
My attention returned to Elliot when the girl with the crazy hair in all black resumed her conversation with her friend in a crowd of people who had gathered around them.
“Well, then you’ll be glad to know she’s single.”
Nothing could have prepared me for this. How was this stunning woman available?
“Really?” But the smile didn’t leave my face, and I knew I must look fucking ridiculous and smitten at the same time.
“She’s divorced with the cutest little boy. She’s Daria’s best friend and is a pretty well-known author, herself.”
Oh, now this was interesting. “Does she write erotic romances like your sister-in-law?” I questioned.
She let out a large snort and startled the baby she was holding tight to her body. Before I could ask more, one of Elliot’s men, Arden, sidled up next to her, cuddling another baby close to his body.
“Jack, so glad you could make it.” He extended his free arm and then moved the baby to my eyesight. “Have you met Sadie?”
I peeked at the little girl who was just as precious as her brother. “Congratulations, man. How’s life with triplets?” I asked.
“Hectic, crazy, and the best life I could ask for.” He wrapped his free arm around his girl and k
issed both her and his son. “What are you doing over here, hot stuff?” This threesome had so many nicknames for one another, and it made me happy for them. Her man, Arden, always called her hot stuff, and she had a pet name for him, too. I just couldn’t remember it.
She began to giggle, and I wondered if she’d hold onto my secret. “Oh, just talking to Jack. I was afraid he’d sneak out before the party started. Now, I don’t have to worry about it. Someone has caught his fancy, funny man.” Her pet name for Arden was appropriate because the man couldn’t be serious for longer than a second.
She leaned in and whispered a name, and it occurred to me that I didn’t know this beauty who grabbed my attention and was not letting it go anytime soon.
“Oh, she’s a good woman. And Daria’s best friend.” He was giving me information I already had.
“So I’ve been told,” I began, “but the bigger question is—are you going to tell me her name?”
They both gave each other knowing glances as if her name was off-limits tonight, but then at the same time, they replied, “Clara Ashley.”
The name sounded familiar, and then it hit me. “The historical romance writer?”
“Yep, the one and only.” Now, tonight had gotten a fuck ton more interesting, and I’d never been happier that I hadn’t left this party.
My body stilled when the product of my lustful thoughts appeared at Elliot and Arden’s side. “I miss little babies,” she crooned, peeking in at the baby boy Elliot was holding, then turning her gaze to the bundled girl in Arden’s arms. “Hell, I miss the sweetness of a baby.”
“Here, take Gunnar.” She passed her son off to the beautiful woman. “Come find me when you want to give him back. I know he’s in good hands. And I’m sure Daria will take him from you before you know it.” Elliot turned her gaze to me and winked—her silent go get her cheer.