by Leigh Lennon
As I slid out of the booth, her hand on my elbow stopped me. “Hey, did you know about Jack’s past relationship in a committed triad?”
The bob of my head gave her the answer, and she flashed me a broad smile. “Thank you for giving him the chance to tell me. That means a lot.”
She removed her hand from me, and I pushed to my feet. “Hey, little buddy, give me a kiss.” He walked over Clara’s lap to get to me, tossing his arms over my neck. “Enjoy your yogurt. I love you.”
Making a beeline for the front door, I turned my head back for one last glance at Clara and him. I wasn’t even out of the building, and I missed him already.
“We should go out tonight,” Dom said in greeting at my front door. He knew better than to call because I most definitely would have said no. But with him at my door, he was more likely to get his way.
“You are a sneaky bastard.” I made way for his big ass frame to cross the threshold of my apartment. We were both in bad shape when it came to women. After having connected with a woman older than him and getting very serious, quickly, they ended it last month, and he’d been tight-lipped as to the reason.
“Yep, but we are both single and ready to move on.” I wasn’t sure who Dominic Torrano was trying to convince—him or me?
Following me down a small hallway that opened up into a little living room and kitchen combo, he made his way to my fridge and helped himself to a beer. “At least get me one, you son of a bitch!” I hollered.
“How was your time with Dec last night?” The asshole seldom asked about my time with Dec. He was fishing to find out if I learned how Clara’s night with Jack was.
“Ask the questions you want answers to, dickhead.”
Shrugging, he laughed this loud, deep belly chuckle, smirking my way. “Fair enough. Did you happen to find out how close Clara and Jack are?”
I rotated my entire body away from my best friend. We were dudes, and he was here to console me in his dude-like Dominic Torrano way. It didn’t mean I wanted him to see the hurt that still consumed me at the understanding of Clara’s possible seriousness with another man.
“Well”—I cleared my throat—“she told me we’d be discussing a plan of introducing Dec to him, and probably sooner than later.”
“Ah, shit, that’s a tough one, bro.” He clapped me on the back. “Are you okay?”
I hadn’t had time to process it all, from Clara’s confession to the little moment Jack and I shared earlier. It was all fucked up, and I didn’t want to try to absorb what it all meant.
“Let’s finish these drinks and then hit the town. I think maybe a night away may let us both forget what has us fucking depressed,” I admitted.
Dom swigged his beer back, draining it entirely. Slamming the bottle down on the coffee table, he bellowed, “Speak for yourself. Nothing’s going on with me. I’m right as rain.”
Pushing to my feet, I pointed my eyes to his. “Yeah, buddy, keep on telling yourself this.”
“I would go to a gay bar with you, dude,” Dom offered, walking down the four flights of stairs, “but I’m not walking up these sons of bitches tonight, I can tell you that.”
He was not wrong. I hated them on a daily basis, especially if Dec was with me because he almost always insisted I carry him. I was fine with it because it was one of the few times he allowed me to touch him.
“You know what? You can go back to your disgusting bachelor pad!” I mocked, opening the door for him. “But thanks for the offer. I just want a quiet night, maybe catch some college football and have a fuck ton of beer.”
A woman passed by, and Dom twirled his entire body around. “See, this is what moving on looks like, my brother,” he crooned.
He was not fooling a single person, especially me. He was hurting for Sandra just as much as I was hurting for Clara. “Come on, you hound dog, stop drooling.” He followed me to my favorite little dive bar, the whole time both droning and complaining about my destination.
Ignoring the man, because it was best for both of us, I opened the door, scanning the several televisions in the joint. Tony, the man who’d owned the place for as long as I could remember, greeted me. “Bodhi Chambers, it’s been a while, you son of a bitch— too long.” Clara and I used to come here almost every night after work. “Have a seat, stranger. Do you drink the same stuff as before?”
Nodding, I took a seat in the back of the room near the screen where my team was playing, then grabbed my phone in case Clara needed me for Declan. I always searched her social media in order to see what Declan was doing when we were apart. This was not stalking Clara, though I had been known to do just that when I had Dec. However, I would stop stalking her when she didn’t have our son.
Tony set down my milk stout for me and pale ale for Dom with an order of bacon ranch cheese fries—a personal favorite of mine.
“Here you go, guys. I’ll start you a tab.”
Pointing at Dom, I started, “Yeah, it’s all on him tonight. The dickhead insisted I come out.”
Dom ignored me, and it garnered a laugh by Tony. “Sure thing, Bodhi.” I’d waited for Dom to counter since I knew what his paycheck was with us as equal partners. Though his rent was shared with three guys and mine was not.
“So, you want to talk shop or just ignore the world for tonight?” Dom asked, but my eyes were not on him. They were on the group of people who’d just walked into the bar, or should I say one particular person who’d caught my attention.
“Fuck,” I mouthed under my breath, but it was loud enough for Dom to hear. Craning his neck around, he let out a cackle, just loud enough to gain the attention of the group who’d entered the bar and make them look our way.
“Thanks, asshole. Now he sees me.”
As he slapped his hands together, his reply was sincere in a ha-ha sort of way. “Sorry, man, but, fuck, when it rains, it fucking pours for you, doesn’t it?”
Jack’s hand reached in the air in a sad attempt at a wave before he turned back to the group of friends he was with, but it was no one I recognized. “Do you want to leave?” Dom’s question was hanging in the air, and fuck yes, I wanted to leave. He was part of the reason I was going to drown myself in a fuck ton of beer. Well, the reason was really me, but he was just the product of my ex moving on.
“Nah, it’s not a big deal.” Dom’s grin was the first thing that greeted me, and he believed me as much as I did.
“Okay, just say the word, and we’ll leave.” But this place held so many memories for me, and I wanted to hold on to the old times. One of the few things I had left.
A new post from Clara popped up. She and Dec were at the park, and he was sliding down the slide. The comment read, “Earlier with my boy.” And more so, she tagged me in it. She sometimes did and sometimes didn’t but knowing my son was happy, even if I was away from him, made life bearable.
Leaning back in my chair, I started on the fries before Dom ate them all. Showing the picture of Declan to Dom, he took one look at his godson, and his smile reached his eyes as he put down his phone.
I didn’t have to ask. The breakup with his girlfriend was only a month ago, when their futures held different dreams and goals. And though he’d kept telling me he was fine, he wasn’t.
Sitting in silence, we focused on our phones and the game. Every once in a while, our alma mater pulled away, and at times, they were playing as though they had no sense. But it made the night interesting. Upon the realization we were going to win, I chugged my beer and pulled out my debit card to pay my portion.
“Nope.” Dom’s hands were up, halting my approach to the bar. Apparently, he was making good on his word that this night was on him. “Thanks, man.” Jack had left hours ago, by the looks of it, and I would not make it back the couple of blocks to my home and up the walk-up without taking a piss.
“Hey, dude,” he called out behind me, “I’m taking off.” That was code for making a pit stop at Sandra’s house, but I was tapped out, and nothing I could say woul
d be enough to make him think they still could meet in the middle when they wanted different things in life.
Pushing the door to the restroom open, I stood in front of the urinal, a little drunk and only wanting to get home and climb into my warm bed. Part of my loneliness had me wanting to call Tim to see if he would like to keep me company, but he was getting clingy where I was not.
Even though the door swung open, the unwritten rules of the men’s room meant my head stared straight ahead. The person next to me started to pee as I zipped up.
Moving to the sink, I finished washing my hands, and I was halfway through the door when someone called out to me. “Bodhi?” Fuck, I knew him with only two run-ins, but I had his voice memorized. Didn’t he know there was no speaking in the bathroom? Even with Dom and me, there was no time or room for a change in this protocol.
Rotating my body toward the sink so I didn’t have to think of him holding his cock while we were talking, he finished his business and was practicing good hygiene by washing his hands. Yeah, it was gross. It was hard to comprehend how many people leave the men’s room without washing properly.
Thinking of hygiene was enough to keep the raging erection he caused me yesterday and apparently today, at bay. “Um, hey, Jack.” I was almost out of the room, but he was quick on my heels. Standing in the hallway, he was the next to speak.
“Hey, I wanted to apologize about today. Clara told me you were upset, and I don’t blame you.”
Fuck, did we have to talk about this? “Well, I think this will be just many of the awkward situations one of us will be apologizing for as we navigate this new thing you have going on with Clara.”
Raking his hand through his darker blond hair, his indigo blues looked away from my intense stare. I wasn’t going to act like a pussy anymore. I messed up, and I was paying the price, so I wasn’t going to pussyfoot around this shitty situation. It didn’t matter that I’d just decided this, but it would be my new normal.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Saw you rooting for Notre Dame. It was a good game.”
I leaned up against the hallway leading from the men’s and women’s restrooms. “Well, have a good night, Jack.”
I walked down the hallway before he had a chance to respond. “Um, yeah, you, too, Bodhi.”
It didn’t matter because in the few minutes I was in his presence, my cock was at attention.
12
Clara
It had been a month, and during that time, I spent the evenings with my most important little guy or the man who’d been claiming my heart minute by minute.
“You have Declan tomorrow, right?” Jack had ordered Thai for us and was plating it for me with my looming deadline. I was taking an hour with this man to eat, and then we’d both agreed to spend the evening together working alongside one another.
“Nope, this is his three-day stint,” I explained. “It’s the longest he has him at one time. It’s normally hard for me, but I will take him out to lunch or back to my office while he colors as I sort of work.”
Bringing our plates out to the couch, I moved over to give him space closer to the end table. “I like this, just hanging out, even if we do have the unpleasant task of working afterward.”
Twirling a bite of pad Thai on my fork, I leaned in to whisper his way, “But when we crawl in bed, don’t think you’re falling asleep right away.” I’d never been this much of a sexual creature in the past, but Jack brought it out in me. On nights when I’d had Declan, we’d talk on FaceTime after my son was in bed, role-playing or masturbating together. I never felt ashamed, and I’d never been more confident. I’d always caught a man’s attention, so I’d never been embarrassed of my body, but Jack brought out something in me I couldn’t quite articulate.
“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you. I wanted to set up lunch with both you and Bodhi to discuss introducing you to Declan.”
He dropped his fork on his plate. “Are you serious?” In his tone, it was not a scary how dare you kind of question. There was an excitement which radiated in his timbre.
“If you’re ready. I’m starting to hate nights when we’re not together. Part of me thinks we’re crazy for letting it get serious this quick, but then the part of me who is falling for you thinks it’s silly when you aren’t in my bed with me.”
After setting his dinner on the end table nearest him, he grabbed mine to set down and then pulled my body onto his. “If we’re crazy, then we’ll be crazy together, Clara Ashley, because I’ve just not fallen hard, I’ve fallen in love with you.” I couldn’t breathe at first, then when the air came, I swallowed hard. “When I don’t wake to your pink ends covering my face, I feel like a part of me is missing. My body doesn’t have to be whole because your spirit does that for me.”
My hand flew to my mouth as the other pulled his arms around me. “You love me?” It came out as a question but was more of a statement, and I wouldn’t let him answer me because I had more to say. “Because I have fallen so far for you, my heart is already yours.”
Leaving his embrace, I stood, pulling at his body. “I don’t think we’re getting much work done tonight, counselor,” I admitted. We left our dirty plates in the living room and it wasn’t even a concern of mine.
“Yeah, I agree with you, foxy.” The second we were over the threshold of my bedroom, he kicked it shut with his left foot. At that moment, we were the only two people in the world who mattered.
The smell of bacon woke me the next morning, and I hurried to the kitchen because I was ravenous from barely touching my dinner the night before. “You’re going to make me fat, babe,” I called out, tying my robe around my waist with nothing on underneath it.
“I’m caring for you, foxy. There’s a big difference. I shudder to think of all the breakfasts and lunches you missed before I came along.”
There was truth to this. Sometimes, I would go the whole day without realizing I hadn’t eaten because my mind had been so focused on my next project. The only time I’d really stop to eat was when I had Declan.
“Well, you are mighty sweet, babe.” He turned, handing me a plate of eggs, bacon, and rye toast, a favorite of ours. “You’re going to spoil me.” I say again because I love him doing this for me.
I was at the table, shoveling food into my mouth when he joined me with my black coffee. “Don’t you know by now that spoiling you brings me the most joy in the world?”
With a broad grin covering his face, I had no doubt this was true. “Hey, I’m calling Bodhi to schedule lunch on Friday afternoon with us, so we can discuss introducing you to Declan. It’s going to be uncomfortable. He’ll probably ask you how often you’ll be over when I have him and probably quiz you on how well you understand type 1 diabetes. He’ll go over Declan being on the spectrum.”
He hadn’t batted an eye, taking in all I threw at him as he stuffed his face full of food. “I have a little experience with dealing with uncomfortable discussions. I know what it’s like to be a little different, and as far as overnights and my involvement, I will follow your lead.” He stopped, tipping his coffee cup to his lips. “And as far as Declan goes, I’m going to love him because I love his mom.”
It was the sweetest thing he could have said to me, and for his words and every other ray of sunshine this man had brought into my life, I had a pep in my step all day long.
It was Jack’s idea to have lunch at his apartment, so Bodhi could inspect his living space. It would be a while until I’d feel comfortable with overnights at Jack’s with Declan, but if we came to visit or hang out, Bodhi would know he didn’t live in the ghetto.
Jack’s apartment was the farthest thing from the ghetto. It was smaller than my house—actually half the size—but every furnishing adorning his immaculate home was high-end. I’d actually shuddered at the thought of Declan in his pristine space, but Jack assured me he was laid-back about it.
My mind was not on the impending doom of this meeting of the minds with my ex-husband and current boyfriend.
The second I’d gotten to work, it was on Savannah and Bryant’s sleeping arrangement after the wedding, and his callous words when tears spilled down her face, afraid he’d expected her to consummate the marriage. I’d been on a roll, displaying his assholeness on the pages. I’d turned to my word count, and I was shocked to see I’d written almost four thousand usable words since eight a.m. Flashing my eyes to the clock on my desk, I pushed back in my swivel chair. It was 12:05 p.m., and I was supposed to meet both Bo and Jack at his place five minutes ago. Pulling my phone from my purse, I shot off a text to Jack.
Me: Shit, I got swept away in my story and lost track of time. I’m so sorry. I’ll see you soon. I love you.
Since we’d both said the L word two nights ago, I was free with it because it was true. I loved Jack very much, but it didn’t dissipate the love I’d always carry for Bodhi. I was instantly emotional and more so because leaving Jack and him to themselves for a good twenty minutes would cause Bodhi more pain as he’d have to endure small talk with a complete stranger. And therein lay a big problem because I knew I could give Jack my heart, but Bodhi still owned a good chunk.
13
Jack
By my luck, I’d gotten home in time to change out of my suit and into a pair of jeans. I hadn’t planned to go back to work, especially with the last-minute trip sprung on me today. It wasn’t my idea of a fun weekend to fly to LA for an entitled rich kid of one of my clients who’d gotten arrested for DWI.
I wasn’t able to spend the weekend with Clara anyway, so a quick trip to LA wasn’t taking anything away from us. I’d ordered pasta from the little restaurant in my complex. I’d hoped she’d be here when he arrived. I wasn’t ready to be alone with him for many reasons, but mainly it was because of how my body had reacted to him the past two times we were alone together.