by Frost Kay
She was barren.
He’d been kicking himself for the last couple of days for how calloused he’d been about having a family in their past conversations. It had never occurred to him that she could not physically produce a child. It also bothered him that she’d never told him. Had she told Emma? If so, his former wife hadn’t breathed a word of it, and they’d told each other everything. Hell, at one point, Emma, Mira, and himself had been the closest of friends.
“Are you even listening?” Tehl asked.
Gav blinked out of his stupor and lifted this head to look at his cousin who sat behind his large desk, scowling. “I’m sorry, what was that?”
Tehl rolled his eyes and rubbed at his brow. “We were discussing how to assimilate Scythians into Aermia. There’s been so much bad blood between our countries for centuries, we have to be careful of how we proceed.”
“Is that all?” Sam sighed.
Gav glanced at the Spymaster. “Give me the short version.”
Sam grinned. “He’s pulling your leg.”
His attention snapped back to Tehl, whose expression was completely blank. The bastard was messing with him. “Seriously?”
Sam snickered and Tehl cracked a smile.
“When did you grow a sense of humor?” Gav asked, eyeing his cousin.
Tehl shrugged. “I’ve always had one, but Sage brings it out in me.” He steepled his fingers. “But it’s unlike you not to notice. In fact, you’ve been distracted for the last few days. Is something on your mind?”
Instinctually, he wanted to freeze, but Gav kept his posture loose as he gazed back at his cousin. “Nothing much.”
“Now, I don’t believe that,” Sam crooned from his left. “You’ve been strung tauter than a bowstring for days. Plus, your mood has soured. Something is going on with you.”
Great. Now both princes were casually interrogating him.
He shifted and uncrossed his legs, boots thumping against the floor. “It’s nothing.”
Tehl tsked. “Nothing always means something.”
Gavriel peeked at the door from the corner of his eye. If he bolted, he could escape. But then there was Sam. He was the wily sort who moved like a damn cat. Even if Gav made a run for it, his cousin would probably tackle him to the floor until he confessed all his secrets like when they were children.
He released a deep sigh and leaned his head back against the comfy chair. They were going to find out soon enough. It was better coming from him than anyone else.
“I made an offer of marriage.” His statement was met with silence. He inhaled deeply. “To Mira.”
“I had no idea you were courting her…” Sam said evenly.
Gav squeezed his eyes closed. This conversation was painful already. “I wasn’t.”
A beat of silence.
“That’s an interesting approach,” Tehl responded. “How did it work out for you?”
Gav opened his eyes and tipped his head down so he could see both of his cousins. “I don’t know. You’ll be the first ones I’ll tell as soon as she answers me.”
Sam blinked slowly. “She didn’t turn you down?”
“No,” he drawled. His cousins exchanged a look that he didn’t like. “What did that look mean?”
“Well.” Sam whistled. “I was under the impression she cared for someone else.”
His thoughts screeched to a halt. “Who?”
“You don’t know?” Tehl asked.
“Would I be asking if I knew? Tell me,” Gavriel demanded, his pulse pounding in his ears.
“Raziel,” Sam replied, leaning forward in his chair.
“The Methian prince,” Gav muttered, feeling hostile toward the man he barely knew. “She’s never mentioned another man.”
“You just admitted you haven’t courted her. How would you know?” Tehl pointed out.
Gav glared at his cousin. Why did the blackguard always have to be so logical? “We’re close. It seems like something she’d tell me.”
“Would she really? After all, you’ve been bloody kind as kittens in these last few months. If someone asked me, I’d say you’ve been the perfect, evenly tempered companion,” Sam said cheerfully.
“Your sarcasm isn’t appreciated,” he gritted out. “I haven’t been that bad.”
Both princes stared at him, and Gavriel threw his hand in the air before crossing his arms. “I know I haven’t been the most pleasant, but I’ve been working on it.”
“What in the blazes ever possessed you to propose to someone like Mira?” Tehl demanded loudly as a knock sounded at the door. “Come in!”
The door opened and Mira entered the library.
Gav popped up from his chair and took one step toward her before she held a hand up. Keeping him at arm’s length again. His fingers twitched at his side. All he wanted to do was hug her.
“My lords,” she said, bowing.
Gav caught movement from the corner of his eye as Tehl stood from his desk and bowed.
“How are you?” Tehl asked.
“Someone like me?” Mira responded, arching an eyebrow. “I’m doing well.”
Sam sniggered. “Were you listening at the door, our pretty little healer?”
Mira glanced past Gavriel and rolled her eyes. “With as loud as Tehl can be, I’m sure I could have heard him down the hallway.”
“It wasn’t what I meant,” Tehl said gruffly.
Her attention moved to the crown prince, flicking over Gav for a moment, avoiding his gaze. Damnation. That wasn’t a good sign.
Her mask wavered, and she gave Tehl a gentle smile. “I know. Words aren’t always the easiest way to communicate.”
Gavriel’s lips turned up into a smile. Mira could be so understanding.
“What can I help you with?” Tehl asked, straight to the point as always.
Mira drew in a deep breath. “I’m here to ask for your permission to marry.”
What? He gaped at the healer. What in the hell was she doing?
“You know you’re free to marry whomever you like,” Tehl responded.
Mira rocked back on her heels, still avoiding Gav’s gaze. “I appreciate the sentiments, my lord. But my father has made me aware that when one is in the employ of the crown and when their intended is of the royal line, your permission is needed.”
Of the royal line.
His body flashed hot and then cold. She’d accepted him?
“That is true,” Tehl answered. “It is nothing but a formality between us. You could have told me you were marrying, and I would have wished you well.”
Mira bowed. “Thank you.” She straightened and faced Gav.
He frowned as her gaze settled on his face, but she didn’t look him directly in the eye. “Do you want to step outside?” he managed to ask.
“No. I’ve thought things through. I will accept your proposal with a few stipulations.”
Uneasiness crept into his belly. “Like what?”
“I’ve trained my whole life to take over my father’s position. I will not give that up.”
Gav blinked. “I would never expect you to do that. I know healing is very important to you.”
“That means we have to live here.”
“I have a residence here, so that is no problem.” He’d have to travel back to his keep every so often, but it didn’t need to be their main home. “What else?”
“I don’t want a big marriage celebration. Just something simple.”
That made him smile. He would have been willing to have a large elaborate wedding if she had wished, but this suited his tastes as well. “Whatever you wish.”
“I won’t share your bed.”
That wiped the smile from his face. She didn’t want to share his bed? Gav’s hand rested on his bad leg. Was it because he wasn’t as he used to be? Did she consider him to be less of a man?
Humiliation and shame washed over him, and heat crept into his face. He caught Tehl doing his best to study the books on his shelves that lined
the walls. Gavriel focused back on Mira and worked past the embarrassment threatening to drown him.
“May I ask why?” he croaked before clearing his throat.
“Physical relationships complicate things. We are friends, and I don’t want to ruin that with other messy feelings.” She exhaled and lifted her chin, holding his gaze for the first time. Her eyes held what looked to be a challenge. “It’s not likely I’ll be able to give you more children, so there’s no need for breeding. If that changes things for you, say so now.” She threw her words down like a gauntlet.
Gav couldn’t hold back any longer. He breached the gap between them, painfully aware of his slight limp and took her hands in his. “I don’t need more children; I won’t rescind my offer. I want to marry you.” He meant it.
Mira studied him and then nodded. “I believe you.”
She extricated her hands from his and took a step back. It felt like she’d stabbed him in the chest. Could she not bear to even hold hands with him?
“I have one last thing to tie up before we make this official. Is that all right?” she asked.
He managed a nod. “Of course.”
“Thank you.” She curtseyed and then left, the door clicking softly behind her.
What in the wicked hell was that? Gavriel stared at the closed door.
“It seems you’ve gained yourself a wife,” Sam drawled.
Gav spun around and gaped at his cousins. “I don’t know what to think.”
Tehl set a bottle of spirits on the top of his desk and smiled. “That’s the way of it with women, I’ve learned. Let’s celebrate.”
She’d agreed to marry Gav. By all accounts, he should be happy, and yet…it felt like he’d lost something precious.
Chapter 14
Mira
Mira hadn’t seen Gav in over four days.
Since she’d agreed to marry him.
Four days since she’d drafted a letter to Raziel with an explanation for her actions. He deserved to hear it from her.
Wiping a hand down her face, she leaned back in the comfy chair Jeffry, the keeper of the dungeon, kept for guests. Not that many people visited him down here, so it was mostly for her. Call her morbid, but she liked coming down to the dank, dark dungeons. It was quiet enough that she could take a nap without being disturbed. Most of the time, it was where she came to figure out her own mind.
“What are you doing down here?” her uncle asked.
Speak of the devil and he will appear.
She smiled and gave her gruff uncle a small wave. Jeffry strode into his office and bent low to place a kiss on her cheek, his white-and-gray beard tickling her skin.
“You need a trim,” she commented as he pulled away and sat behind his desk, which faced her.
The heavy wrinkles around his charcoal eyes deepened as he smiled, flashing crooked teeth at her. Her uncle stroked a gnarled hand along his beard as if deep in thought.
“It has gotten a wee bit out of control, but it’s not that bad.”
She shook her head and leaned forward, placing her elbows on her knees. “If you come up and visit me more often, I would do it for you. I do it for Father.”
“You’re a good girl, but I can manage,” he responded, picking up a quill and ink well, his hands shaking.
His tremors were getting worse. Getting old wasn’t fair. She hated watching those she loved lose some of their abilities because of their age.
“I can feel you watching me,” Jeffry commented dryly. “It won’t help, you know.”
“Are you using that cream I left with you last time I visited?”
“Every day, love.”
“And the pain in your hands?”
“It’s better than it was. I have more movement in my joints and, for that, I thank you.” He set his quill down, leaned back in his chair, and laced his fingers across his stomach, his gaze shrewd. “I can tell today isn’t a friendly chatting kind of visit. What weighs on your mind?”
She blew a strand of hair from her face and gave her uncle a wry smile. “Don’t you know? I know Father has been down here twice in the last few days.”
Jeffry grinned at her. “He has, but I want to hear it from you, tumbleweed.”
“Nothing much to tell.”
“We both know that’s not the truth or you wouldn’t be here. What’s wrong? Do you not want to marry Gavriel?”
Goosebumps ran along her arms at his words. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to marry him but that she did. “I do and that’s the problem.”
Her uncle blinked slowly. “I don’t quite understand the problem.”
“He doesn’t want a wife.”
Jeffry smirked. “He asked you to marry him, did he not?”
Mira narrowed her eyes at her vexing uncle and tossed her hands in the air before crossing her arms. “He wants a companion, a mate to help him raise his daughter, a friend.”
Her uncle’s smirk disappeared. “And you want love.”
She shrugged a shoulder and looked away from his piercing gaze. “Not exactly. I mean, it would be nice to be loved, but I’m worried about me.”
“Oh, I see it now. You’re worried you’ll fall in love with him.”
“Precisely.” Her heart ached even thinking about it. If she let herself, it would be so easy to fall for Gavriel Ramses, but he’d only ever had eyes for Emma. “It would break me if I allowed myself to love him. I can’t spend my life pining for someone who will never love me back. I can’t be second again.”
“Again?”
“I loved him as a young girl. I was working up the courage to tell him when Emma told me that Gavriel had expressed his feelings for her. She was ecstatic, and all I could do was hide my broken heart from them both.”
“Because you loved them both,” Jeffry said gruffly.
“I did. I had to bear witness to their every happiness while it crushed me. Eventually, I was okay, and I was truly happy for them.” Mira looked back at her uncle. “I don’t think I could bear to have my heart broken by Gav again.”
“You’re in a tough spot, tumbleweed. You don’t have to marry him.”
“I know,” she said softly. “The problem is that I want to—too much. How do I curb my feelings?”
“You approach your union like how you heal.”
“Those were my thoughts as well.” Mira swallowed hard. “I told him I wouldn’t share his bed.”
Her uncle’s eyes widened. “You did what?”
“I’m not saying it again,” she mumbled. “It was a logical choice.”
He held up his hand and yanked open a drawer behind his desk, pulling out a bottle of spirits before taking a heavy swig. Jeffry stood and leaned over his desk, holding out the booze to her. “If we’re going to have this conversation, we both need some liquid courage.”
Mira leaned out and took the bottle from his fingers, took a sip and handed it back to him. “Don’t be such a prude.”
“There is a reason I didn’t marry, tumbleweed. It was so that I wouldn’t have to have these sorts of conversations.” Her uncle took another two swigs and wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve. “How did he take the news?”
“He accepted it with grace, as far as I could tell. His expression was decidedly neutral, but his cousins were cringing.”
Jeffry thumped the bottle down onto his desk with a heavy thud. “Mira Lemonde, tell me you did not have that conversation with Gavriel in front of his cousins?”
“I had to ask for the prince’s approval of our union and it all just kind of fell out,” she replied sheepishly at the look of horror on her uncle’s face.
“Poor man was gelded in the company of royalty. That’s just brutal, tumbleweed. Brutal.”
She winced. “So I should apologize?”
“Don’t apologize for setting boundaries, but you should apologize for breeching such a delicate subject in company. I think you need to have a private conversation with him about what you just told me. Marriages are more intim
ate friendships. Don’t keep your feelings from the man you plan to spend the rest of your life with. It will just cause more problems down the road. You hear me?”
Mira pushed out her chair and rounded the desk. She bent at the waist and hugged her uncle around his shoulders. “Thank you for the talk. I always feel better after we speak.”
Jeffry patted her on the forearm. “I love chatting with you. I may not have children, but know I consider you mine as much as your father does. I want you to be happy.”
“Love you,” she said, squeezing his shoulder once before moving toward the eastern staircase that led to the training yard.
“Love ya too, tumbleweed. Come see me soon.”
“I’ll be back,” she called over her shoulder. “With a pair of scissors.”
Her uncle’s gruff laughter echoed around her as she ascended the stairs and pushed open the exterior doors.
She blinked repeatedly as her eyes adjusted to the brightness of the morning. Steel against steel rang from the training yard. The soldiers were up and at it already. A gust ruffled her hair, and a giant shadow covered the ground.
Mira held up her hand and squinted.
A Fiilee landed to her right, not four paces from her side. Her eye’s widened as she recognized the markings on the flying feline.
Sky.
Her heart raced as the beast’s rider slid from her back and rushed toward Mira. Raziel locked eyes on her, and she opened her mouth to say something, anything, as he wrapped his arms around her and yanked her into a deep kiss.
Uh-oh.
Chapter 15
Gav
“The Methians are arriving,” Sam said.
Gav lifted his head up from the fence that encircled the sparring area and squinted at the spots in the sky that grew bigger and bigger.
“What are they here for again?” he asked, rubbing the back of his sweaty neck. Gav ached from head to toe. His body had gone soft on him. It was amazing how just a few months could change so much. That or he was getting old. It was probably the latter. At least, he felt old.
“They’re here to deal with the finer print of the treaty. Although, I have a sneaking suspicion that the queen is using it as an excuse to see my father,” Sam said brightly.