Surprisingly, Serik never snaps at them. And he never stops trying. But every day his smile grows a little duller, his eyes a little less sharp and squinty. And sometimes when he’s asleep at night, I feel his power flare and sputter. He shivers and whimpers in his bedroll.
It’s too much strain for a warrior so new to their power. Too much strain for any Kalima warrior.
After tracking down Azamat and getting him situated at his post, Serik pulls me around a corner, out of sight of the shepherds. The glowing algae paints strange green patterns across his face that make him look even more exhausted.
I lace my fingers through his and squeeze. “Just a little longer. I promise. The scouts will return anytime, and I’m certain they’ll have found King Minoak.”
“But what if they haven’t?” he asks without looking at me. “I’m not doubting you,” he adds gently. “I hope you’re right—that Minoak lives and wants to lead us—but perhaps we should start making a contingency plan, just in case he’s—”
“Don’t say it.” I cut Serik off before he says the word that will ruin everything.
King Minoak isn’t dead.
He can’t be dead.
I refuse to even consider it. And we can’t make a “contingency plan,” because we have no other option. Without the aid of Verdenet, we will never be able to liberate and recruit the other Protected Territories, which means we’ll stand zero chance against Ashkar and Zemya.
I try to pry my hand free, but now Serik tightens his grip. “En, you know it’s not in my nature to be tentative or levelheaded, but we can’t will a king into existence. Just as we can’t allow these people to starve to death. Or freeze if my power runs out.” He flexes the fingers of his free hand and frowns. “Some of the shepherds have been counseling and—”
“They’ve been what?” My shrill voice echoes all around us. “Why didn’t you tell me immediately? If they’re plotting behind my back—”
“No one is plotting behind your back.”
“Do you think I can’t hear, Serik? They’re always grumbling and whispering and criticizing me. You don’t have to lie to protect me.”
“What are you talking about? No one is doing any of those things.”
I pry my hand free, fold my arms, and scowl.
“Yes, they complain,” he finally admits. “But not specifically about you. People are allowed to have conversations and opinions. If you outlaw that, our rebellion will start to feel an awful lot like the Imperial Army. And just because Ghoa and Temujin betrayed you doesn’t mean everyone else is going to do the same…. Try to have some faith,” he tacks on quietly.
It takes everything in me not to roll my eyes. Assuming my allies won’t turn against me is as foolish as assuming the snow squalls won’t ravage the grasslands this winter when they have every year before. And since when does Serik spout lines about faith?
When I don’t respond, Serik takes me firmly by the shoulders, as if tightening the reins of a skittish horse. “Some of the shepherds are discussing entering Verdenet,” he says.
“If we do that, we’ll be subject to the imperial governor! We won’t be able to venture beyond the walls of Lutaar City and continue our search for King Minoak. Even if we miraculously find him within the capital, we’ll no longer have the element of surprise to retake Verdenet.”
“But they’ll have shelter and food, which is the most immediate concern. They’ve been through so much already. And they think we may be able to raise a resistance once we’re inside the city.”
I squirm. “It will never happen. The people of Verdenet would have done so already if they could.”
“Maybe not if they’re lacking leadership. I think—”
“You agree with them!” I fling my arms, forcing Serik to release me.
He sighs. “I never said that, En. I just think it might be good to have another plan. Options are never a bad thing.”
“We don’t have options. If we enter Verdenet, we’ll be trapped. Imprisoned. Which means we’ll be sitting ducks when Kartok and the Zemyans attack. They’ll conquer Verdenet and all of the Unified Empire, and our efforts and suffering will have been for nothing. We’ll be subject to an even more merciless ruler than the Sky King. Why am I the only one who sees this?”
Before Serik can respond, a chorus of shouts ricochets down the tunnel, coming from the direction of the main cavern.
I drag my hand through my unraveling braid and the little muscle beneath my right eye jumps. “If they’re fighting over rations again, I swear to the skies I’m going to …”
“The scouts have returned!” The message echoes off the rocks and into my ears and I practically collapse with relief.
Thank the Lady and Father.
I rush back toward the cavern, my bad leg dragging painfully behind me. I’ve been straining it too much lately, bustling across these uneven floors and scaling the slippery walls. I need to be more careful. The only thing that could worsen this situation is if I’m unable to lurk and listen for deceit.
Serik hurries after me. As soon as his stride matches mine, he slips an arm under my shoulders. I don’t stop him or complain. He’s only trying to help. And I’ll get there faster and preserve my strength with aid. But I don’t let him support all of my weight. I refuse to put myself in a position where I could be dropped.
Not that I think Serik would drop me.
But I didn’t think Temujin and the Shoniin or Ghoa would drop me either.
We burst into the main cavern and hurry to where a horde of shepherds gathers around the three scouts who have been scouring the desert for Sawtooth Mesa. It’s where the kings of Verdenet have always gone for their Awakening—when priestesses of the First Gods chisel the royal tattoo onto their legs. It’s a sacred ritual: The future king lies faceup on the tabletop of sandstone, completely bare and vulnerable before the Lady of the Sky for three days. The weather She chooses to send is representative of that future king’s reign. After the ceremony, kings often return to the mesa to pray and meditate. But the Ashkarians wouldn’t know this because they don’t worship the First Gods and they showed no interest in learning our traditions. And the temple is located in the center of the mesa, cut into the earth like ant tunnels, making it completely invisible from below the butte.
When Minoak wasn’t camped near the Lady’s Lake, where infants are presented to the Goddess for naming, or hidden in the Father’s Arms—a small oasis blossoming in the middle of the desert—Sawtooth Mesa came to mind next. It’s the perfect hiding spot for a hunted king, as only his people would know of it.
“What news?” I call as we hobble closer.
King Minoak isn’t with the scouts. That’s the first thing I notice. But that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. He’s a king; he wouldn’t risk following strangers without proof of identity and guarantees of our intentions.
The second thing I notice is how the scouts flinch at the sound of my voice. How they refuse to meet my eyes.
“Well?” I demand. “Did you find him?”
“We didn’t even find the mesa,” Lalyne, the most experienced tracker among the shepherds, says.
“Nothing?” My last shred of hope rushes away with my breath. “But I gave you detailed directions….”
“To a place you’ve never been!” calls a shepherd from behind me.
I shoot the man an irritated glance and step closer to the scouts. “Did you cross the dry river basin? Are you sure you counted the dunes accurately, from straight beneath the guiding star?”
They stare at me without a spark of frustration or conviction. And now that I’m looking closely, their faces hardly look sunburned. Their boots aren’t encrusted with a week’s worth of snow and sand.
Did you even try? That’s what I want to ask. But I tighten my fists, smothering the starfire flaring in my hands. I must be a calm, confident leader. “This obviously isn’t what we hoped for, but we’ll organize another expedition—”
The cavern explodes with co
mplaints.
“We’ll never find this hidden mesa, because it doesn’t exist!”
“And neither does your missing king! He’s obviously dead.”
“Otherwise, he’d be raising a rebellion and retaking Verdenet himself!”
“No. He wouldn’t,” I answer resolutely. “He knows better than to charge into a fortified city unprepared. He’s waiting for the opportune moment. And reinforcements.” I gesture to the gathered group, and the burst of derisive laughter almost knocks me off my feet. I feel like a cat, dangling from a wobbly branch by a single claw.
“You can’t honestly think we’re reinforcements. Look at us!” an elderly woman calls.
“We are just the beginning,” I say. “Enough to get Minoak through the gates of Lutaar City. All of the Verdenese inside will rise with us once they see their king is alive.”
“And what if he isn’t?” Iree shouts. “I say we enter now!” His family loudly agrees, no matter that they’re more prepared than anyone to wait a few additional days, thanks to the rations I sacrificed.
“We can’t just stroll into Lutaar City!” I don’t mean to get emotional, but my voice rakes and rattles like a Bone Reader’s poker.
Serik catches my elbow and tugs me a few steps away from the group. “Breathe, En. I know you think finding King Minoak is the only way. And it’s a noble plan, it is. But sometimes the necessary pieces just don’t come together. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It just means we have to keep an open mind.”
My eyes are hot and itchy and my voice scrapes against my tingling throat. “You’re giving up on me too?”
“I haven’t given up on you. Don’t be absurd. It just might be a good idea to listen to the majority in this case and find a way to defend against the Zemyans from inside Lutaar City, where we’ll have food and shelter.”
I break free from Serik’s hold, twisting my bad arm in the process. Pain explodes along the thick purple scars above my elbow. The algae’s florescent colors spin as I stumble into the winding tunnels, half blind and gasping. Serik calls after me. I can feel the shepherds’ judgmental eyes on my back. And I can’t stand any of it for another skies-forsaken second.
Throwing a cloak of blackness over myself, I wind farther and farther. Deeper and darker. Into the protective arms of the night, where no one else can reach me.
CHAPTER TWO
ENEBISH
THE TUNNEL ENDS IN AN INKY BLUE-BLACK CAVERN THAT’S never seen a speck of light. I flop down onto a stone slab that juts over a spring filled with little translucent racer fish, and close my eyes. Serik and the shepherds may be ready to give up and enter Lutaar City, but we can’t. The shepherds won’t cooperate unless they need us, and they won’t need us in there. Not until Kartok and Temujin arrive. But then it will be too late. We’ll be trapped. Enslaved. Obliterated by the starfire Kartok siphoned from me in his false Eternal Blue.
“How do I make them understand?” I tilt my head back and look up at the Lady of the Sky. I can’t actually see Her down here, buried beneath a league of limestone and sand, but it feels right to lift my face in reverence. I stare at the craggy ceiling, where yellow goblin spiders dangle from silver-spun webs. As I pray, I swirl the tendrils of night like a painter, brushing them gently over the gloom until the spiders and mold and stalactites are covered with glimmering wet darkness. Then I spatter it with an array of gemstone stars. Last, I sculpt Orbai and send her slashing through the blackness.
My breath catches as she soars above me. My hand trembles as I trace her shadowed wings. “Where are you?” I whisper, even though I know: she either perished in the burning xanav or lives eternally bound to Kartok through his Loridium healing magic. But my question is also for the Lady of the Sky, who led me to the shepherds and showed me the way to these caves, but then failed to guide me to King Minoak, the most important piece of this puzzle. “Come back. Help me. Please!”
My sobs fill the cavern—shrill, agonized wails that cover the sound of Serik’s footsteps. I don’t realize he’s behind me until he says my name.
“What are you doing here?” I nearly tumble into the pool as I whip around. “How did you find me?”
“I was worried about you.” Serik ducks into the cavern. A tiny ball of yellow light flickers in his palm, no bigger than a globeflower. I could loosen my hold on the blackness so he doesn’t have to expend his fledgling power, but I don’t. “As for finding you, I stumbled along, always choosing the darkest tunnel, until I ended up here.” Serik’s smile is so proud and adorable, I almost let myself smile back. He’s much better at summoning heat than light out of necessity, so the tiny matchstick flame hovering above his hand is a big accomplishment. “Seriously, En, are you all right? You were screaming like you were being tortured.”
I am being tortured.
“I’m fine.” I turn back to the pool, watching the strange fish. It’s unsettling, how you can see straight through their scales and bones to their rapidly beating hearts. I feel like my skin is just as thin. Like my sputtering heart is on display, despite my efforts to shield myself.
Serik sighs and shuffles closer. “Please don’t shut me out. And don’t shut the shepherds out either. We need to stick together or everything will devolve into chaos.”
I raise a skeptical brow as if to say, Hasn’t it already?
“More chaos,” Serik amends.
After a quiet minute I say, “We need to stick together. You and me. If the shepherds see you doubting my plans, I have zero chance of earning their respect or leading an uprising against Kartok and Temujin and the Imperial Army. Don’t you see how they look at me? How they whisper and shy away? And did you see the scouts? They’re not even trying to find Sawtooth Mesa. No one is taking this seriously, because they want me to fail.”
I rip up the gnarled shoots growing through the rocks and toss the oily leaves into the pond. The little fish swarm to the surface, snapping at one another as if these are the last scraps of food on earth. The water clouds with red, and it feels so fitting. So telling. I’m being eaten alive by my own.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Serik says. “No one wants you to fail. They wouldn’t have followed us into the desert if they didn’t think this was their best chance at survival. Sabotaging you would only hurt themselves.”
My hair tangles across my face as I shake my head. “You don’t understand, because they adore you. They need your heat. But they treat me like a faulty cannon liable to explode at any second.”
“I know it’s difficult after everything you’ve been through, but if you want someone to trust you, it might be helpful if you try to trust them. Something as simple as a compromise, or even just acknowledging their concerns, could go a long way.”
I laugh. I’m not about to trust anyone else. Not after Temujin. And Ghoa. And Kartok. And the Sky King. The list just keeps growing.
Serik scoots closer. The otherworldly heat of his body is even more pronounced in this remote cavern. It prickles across my skin like sunshine. “If you can’t trust them, trust me.” His warm fingers glide across my cheek and curl around my ear. I scrunch my eyes shut and let my forehead plunk against his chin. The parchment and pine ink scent of the monastery is fading from his cloak and robes. Now he smells of wild: of sun and sand and smoldering wood. It suits him even more.
“We can’t give up,” I whisper. “Minoak is close. I can feel it.”
“We have to give them something, En.”
“Fine,” I relent. “We’ll send the scouts one more time. If they don’t find King Minoak in five days, we can enter Lutaar City.”
Every word slashes my mouth like a knife. It’s the last promise I want to make. But I know it’s what Serik wants to hear, and the gesture goes a long way. His eyes squish into crescents and his lips quirk into a crooked smile. He presses a light kiss to my forehead, then takes my hand. Leading me back to the shepherds, who won’t be nearly as grateful.
“You and her are welcome to stay here and twiddle your thumbs
as long as you want!” Iree booms when Serik announces our plan. “I’m leaving at first light.”
Cheers of agreement fill the entire system of caves. The roar can probably be heard from Nashab Marketplace in the heart of Lutaar City.
“Do you think it’s wise to march into an occupied city in broad daylight?” I shout over them. “It would be far more prudent to enter under the cover of darkness so the imperial warriors can’t track your every move. And you need me to do that.”
The shepherds wave me off. I know I should keep my lips stitched tight and let Serik reason with them—he’ll get far better results—but their cold dismissal, after everything I’ve done for them, makes my temper bubble over like a lidded pot. I snatch a handful of the black tendrils flapping around my face and drench the cavern in darkness.
Screams ping from wall to wall, and I momentarily revel in their terror. In their helplessness. If they insist on treating me like a monster, I might as well give them something to fear.
My conscience flares at the thought, and I immediately loosen my grip on the night. This is how Ghoa would think. This is how she would react: with harsh threats and vicious punishment.
Serik blinks over at me, his brows crumpled and his lips pursed, conveying exactly what he’s thinking: What are you doing? Stop driving an even larger wedge between yourself and the group.
I toss my hands in frustration and shoot him an equally pointed look: Then do something. Make them agree. You’re the one who suggested we compromise.
Serik closes his eyes and rubs his temples. His voice is hollow and ragged when he speaks, “If you don’t agree to support this final scouting mission, I won’t provide heat.”
The shepherds recoil, looking at Serik the way they’ve always looked at me.
“It’s only five more days,” he says feebly.
“Less if you locate King Minoak quickly,” I cut in, turning to the scouts. “Replenish your rations and prepare to leave immediately.”
Lalyne sets her jaw and regards me for a long, uncomfortable minute, her lined face hard and her eyes even harder. I stare back. Grudgingly, she nods and the other two scouts snatch up their satchels and clomp toward the supply cavern.
Sky Breaker (Night Spinner Duology) Page 2