by T L Swan
“You would do that?”
“Josh, I would do anything to be with you. You have to know that by now.” He kisses me again more urgently and rams his hips up against mine. Oh shit, I think I’m going to come just by doing this. His arousal just amped up ten notches.
“Josh, I’m serious, let’s go back inside and tell them. They will understand and, if they don’t, I don’t care. We will deal with this together.” He kisses me again and pulls back to run his fingers through my hair while smiling and looking down at me. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears.
“Slow down precious, let’s just see if we can get through a week without ripping each other’s heads off before we do anything rash.” I smile a shy smile as I gather my senses. What’s wrong with me?
“You’re right,” I whisper. I run my hands up his strong arms and over his broad shoulders. I feel the power emanating from his body. “When will I see you again if your mother’s here?”
“I will come over tonight when she goes to sleep,” he sighs. “Give me one more kiss to last me till then,” he smiles his broad melting smile and I feel my heart flutter. I would do anything to be with this man. We sneak out of the shadows and to Josh’s car. I see him make eye contact with the bodyguards and he nods.
“Josh, why are you so guarded?”
“Drawback of having money,” he sighs. “Don’t worry, it shits me too.” What exactly does that mean? Ten minutes later we are armed with cream and heading back to the house. He holds my hand on his lap the whole time, deep in thought, occasionally lifting my hand to kiss the back of it. I don’t know why but all this honesty suddenly has me hoping of a real future with him. Maybe we can do this? Is it really possible? Would I move to America? Who knows and who cares. He’s holding my hand and he just told me he’s completely mine. Nothing at all can wreck my night tonight.
How wrong can a person be?
We arrive back at the house and I head up while Josh goes and talks to his bodyguards. I’m met by Margaret at the front door.
“Hi,” I smile and she glares at me.
“Is it?” She hisses. Shit, did she just see us? I hope not and an uneasy feeling rips through me. She brushes past me and I walk in the front door. What in the world was that about? I watch her storm across the road to Joshua. Brock comes barrelling up the hall and grabs me by the arm and drags me into my old bedroom. Ow, what the hell?
“Brock,” I snap as I pull my arm from his grip.
“What in the fuck is going on with you and Stanton?” Holy mother fuck.
“What do you mean?” I feel faint.
“Margaret just went berko at Cameron when she found out you two went to the shop.”
I swallow the tennis ball and bucket of sand in my throat. “What did she say?”
“She said you two cannot be trusted. What in the fuck does that mean, Natasha?” Oh crap…crap, crap, crap.
“Um, I don’t know,” I shrug. “You know she’s tapped.”
“Is she?” he snarls.
“Of course,” I reply. “What do you think?”
“I know what I saw at the wedding and I warned him that night that I would kill him if he touched you.”
“You did what?” I snap. “Are you kidding me?”
“I am going to say this once and once only, Natasha. Listen, because I genuinely mean it. I will fucking kill him if he lays a finger on you.”
I roll my eyes. “Drop dead Brock. I’m twenty–four years old. Stop trying to control me. I’m friends with Josh. You and Margaret are as bad as each other. Go back to over–protecting Bridget, because I’m not putting up with your shit.” I storm out of the bedroom and back into the lounge room just as Joshua and his mother come in the front door. I hotfoot it straight to the kitchen without making eye contact. This night is quickly turning from hero to zero.
Twenty minutes later we are seated at the dining table. Bridget and Brock are on either side of me and directly opposite is Margaret. Cam and Will are on either side of her and Josh is next to Cam. Mum is at one head of the table and Dad at the other. I don’t think I have ever dreaded a family dinner quite as much. Brock is onto us and so is Margaret for that matter. I know I can’t lie for shit, I feel like a frigging Russian spy just about to take a lie detector test. I look down, determined not to make eye contact with Josh or anyone for that matter. I know he is feeling uncomfortable as well. I can feel it in my bones. Brock is the first to speak.
“So, Josh, I saw on the internet you dated Heidi Mills, that supermodel.” Cameron chokes.
“Pass the carrots,” Wilson asks me and I know it’s a distraction tactic. I slowly look up to see Josh’s reaction. He nods but keeps his eyes cast down. What is frigging Brock playing at? Bridget taps my leg underneath the table.
“She is so…smoking hot.” Brock smiles he lifts his fork in the air en route to his mouth.
“In fact you seem to date a different glamour every week.” I look back down at my plate and I wish the ground would swallow me up. This night is becoming very uncomfortable and I know exactly what Brock is doing, the bastard. Bridget rubs my leg under the table in a symbol of sympathy.
Margaret smiles. “Yes, Josh sure does well with the ladies, however his heart is taken unfortunately.”
“Oh is it?” Mum asks excitedly as she takes a sip of her wine. Shut up, Mum.
“Yes.” Margaret smiles at me. “Her name is Amelie.” Will clears his throat and Cam drops his knife and fork, and they hit his plate with a clang. By the boys’ reaction I know there is some truth to this story. Ok…I keep my eyes cast down.
“Do tell, Josh.” Mum laughs. Shut the hell up, Mum.
“Nothing to tell,” he snaps.
“Oh Josh,” his mother chastises. “Don’t be embarrassed.” She pats him on the arm. I think I am going to vomit in my own mouth. “She’s a veterinarian, a beautiful one at that, and she manages Josh’s horse stud for him.” My heart drops—the blonde from his phone. “Yes, she’s an amazing equestrian rider. Josh drives her all over the United States every weekend for competitions, don’t you Josh? They go away most weekends—she just competes so much.” I bet she does. I can’t help it. My eyes flick to Josh. I want to see his reaction. Damn it. He keeps his eyes deliberately down to avoid my glare. Margaret is on a roll. “They have so much in common. They go horse–riding together for hours on his country estate. She comes away on holidays with us and sometimes her parents join us as well, don’t they Josh? She’s English and her family own a castle. She comes from a very well–to–do family. Robert and I visited them last year in their country estate.” My cheeks heat and I can hear my heartbeat in my ears. He’s lied to me. He told me that he has never dated anyone. Going on holidays with fucking parents is dating, asshole.
”So is that important to you, Margaret? That your boys marry into a well–to–do family?” Oh shit, did I say that out loud? She fakes a venomous smile. I can’t help it. I have to know. She deliberately doesn’t answer me. Mmm.
“So how long has she worked for you Josh?” I ask as I bite my food off my fork, smiling at him way too sweetly. He glares at me as he wipes his mouth with a napkin and brushes his tongue over his front teeth, but he doesn’t answer. Bridget grabs my hand under the table. He stays silent.
“Five years.” Margaret smiles. Fucking bitch, she’s loving this. I look back down at my plate. Five years…five years. What in the hell, that’s a long time. And I know he has feelings for her because I’ve seen the fucking photos.
“She’s just a friend,” Josh snaps as he raises his eyebrows at his mother.
“Oh Josh, stop it, you don’t spend every New Year’s Eve for five years with a girl if she means nothing.”
“Did anybody see the footy game last night?” Cameron interjects in a desperate attempt to change the subject. The atmosphere has taken a serious dive and I really want to throw my drink on her or him… on both of them actually.
“Yes it was great.” Dad smiles and they start to waffle abou
t football. I, however, am stuck on the New Year’s comment. My mind is going a million miles a minute…don’t let her get to you…don’t let her get to you. I know this is her aim and unfortunately she has done just that. I’m totally rattled.
“Joshua, I’m thirsty, darling, I need another wine.” He immediately rises to go and pour her a drink.
My mum smiles. “So tell me, Wilson, I hear you’re seeing a new girl.”
He smiles a warm smile and it’s obvious he likes this girl. “Amy,” he answers. “Her name is Amy.”
“Oh and, Wilson, I need you to take me to Darlinghurst tomorrow, darling. I am meeting Susan and I want you to join us,” Margaret purrs and he nods. She swats Cameron with her serviette, “Don’t pick at your food.” I sit back and watch their interactions. I don’t believe it. How have I missed this? She has these boys totally under the thumb. They all dote on her like she’s the fucking Queen of Sheba. Wicked Witch of the West more like.
“So Bridget,” she smiles. “How is the travel industry going?”
“Oh good, thanks,” Bridge answers happily. “I’m going on a conference to Paris next week.” Margaret smiles. “That’s exciting.” Bridget nods happily. “My boys all speak French, you know.” She winks at Bridget and Josh rolls his eyes and shakes his head.
“So Natasha.” She puts her hands steepled under her chin as she starts to work her venom back in my direction. “What is it you do again?” She knows this, the bitch.
“I’m a psychologist.” I fake the biggest smile in the history of human life.
“Oh, in what field?”
“I’m a sexual health psychologist.”
“Hmm,” she smiles as she takes a sip of her wine. “That figures, what a strange direction for a girl so young to follow.” I narrow my eyes at her as I start to hear my pulse in my ears. Pick on me, bitch, and that’s ok, but pick on my career and it’s go time. “I bet you are really good at manipulating, oh sorry, I mean controlling minds and thoughts.” The double meaning is not lost on me. I can’t even pretend that she is not pissing me off now, the bitch.
“You have no idea,” I whisper as I glare at her. Joshua jumps up and starts to clear the table, obviously sensing the tension in the air, and Brock helps him. Mum and Dad re–enter the kitchen to serve up dessert. Brock takes the first load of plates into the kitchen.
“Oh, I have a very good idea how well you manipulate,” she sneers. I can’t hold my tongue any longer.
“Have I done something to upset you Margaret?” The whole table falls silent and collectively hold their breath. Joshua drops the plates on the table and they clang. He does wide eyes at me, urging me to shut up. How in the hell is Amelie, you prickface liar? You can go to hell too.
“No, we will get along just fine, Natasha, as long as you keep your claws out of my son,” she sneers. My blood is boiling.
Cameron interjects. “That’s enough, Mother.” Ok that’s it, that’s the last straw and I can’t hold my tongue any longer. I ‘m feeling unstable. I stand and lean my hands on the table as I lean my face closer to hers.
“I have absolutely no plans. None! To get my claws into your precious son. But let me tell you this.”
“Natasha,” Bridget whispers, “that’s enough.” She grabs my hand and I jerk it out of her grasp. “If, and that’s a big if, I decided to get my claws into your son, you had better be prepared, because not even the devil himself could stop me.”
She narrows her eyes. “Why you conceited little bitch.”
Cameron coughs. “Seriously. That’s enough, Mother.” I look across the table and Joshua is in shock I think. He looks like he’s going to faint.
“Now I have had enough,” I shake my head. “I’m leaving.” I stand and throw my serviette from my lap onto the table.
Joshua stands so quickly that his chair falls back and hits the ground. “Natasha, don’t go,” he pleads.
“Sit,” I snap as I point to his chair. “Mummy dearest here wants to breastfeed you and we couldn’t have you upsetting her. Get your nappy changed while you are there. It will save you time later.” I hear Bridget and Cameron stifle a giggle.
I walk into the kitchen. “Mum, I have to go. I just got paged from work.”
“Oh, that’s a shame, darling. Ok, I will call you tomorrow.” I don’t remember getting into my car. I just know I am off the charts boiling mad.
Josh runs out to the car. “Natasha, don’t go. She’s just mad.”
“Josh, get the fuck away from me, you coward.” I poke him in the chest. He steps back.
“Tell Cameron I said thanks for defending me.” His face drops at the realisation it was his brother who defended me and not him.
“Natasha, please, she’s my mother. I was just trying to diffuse the situation.”
“And what am I?”
He shuffles on his feet as he rubs both hands through his hair. “Don’t ask stupid questions,” he sighs.
“Stupid questions,” I shriek. This man is a total idiot. “Oh that’s right, I’m your fucking booty call. Go inside. I just lost interest in you…Big Time!”
“Tash, please,” he begs as he grabs my arm.
“Get your filthy hands off her.” Oh shit, it’s Brock.
“Not now,” Josh snaps at him. Brock grabs Josh by the shoulder and Josh turns to Brock.
“Don’t start your fucking shit, Brock, or you will be out cold on the fucking pavement.” Brock grabs him by the shirt and Josh slams him up against the car.
“Let me speak to her alone,” Josh snaps. “This is none of your business.”
“Fuck off,” Brock yells.
“Stop it, you idiots,” I yell and the two bodyguards come running across the road. I am too mad to care about either of them and the sudden distraction allows me to pull out and I speed off down the road. Hot tears of frustration pool in my eyes and blur my vision. I don’t think I have ever been this mad. We will get along just fine as long as you keep your claws out of my son. The stupid movie screen in my head plays and replays the words again and again, each time with more venom than the last. Who was I kidding—she will never accept us. And then there’s Amelie. That’s a whole different world of pain and I know it’s true I could see it in his face; he has serious feelings for her. How deep they run I don’t know—have they slept together? My tears well again and I pull the car over, unable to see the road any longer. I put my elbows on my steering wheel and weep into my hands. My car rocks intermittently as the cars zoom past me at speed on the freeway. They have common interests; she loves horses like him. She lives in his house. They have a bond. He lied to me again. He takes her away and, oohh, the pain slices me again and I sob…New Year’s Eve, the lump in my throat begins to hurt as I hold in the tears. He spends them with her…every year. Margaret knew exactly her target tonight and she hit it in a bullseye, attacking my insecurities. My mind wanders back to the past New Years and I break into full–blown sobs. At twelve o clock every year I have thought of him, wished he was here with me and he was kissing someone else. Spending time with someone else…probably on frigging secluded islands and shit. Someone he cares about. Out of the corner of my eye I see a man run up to the side of the car and I jump in fright. I quickly start my car and hit the central–locking button. Tap, Tap, Tap. To my horror a man I have never seen before is tapping on the window. I start to panic until I see Josh’s bodyguards standing on the side of the road next to the car, which I now notice is parked behind me. My heart jumps and I quickly look around to see if he’s here, but of course he’s not. He’s with his bitchface mother. I slowly wind down my window and the guy has the gall to look embarrassed now that he sees I’m crying like a baby. He is in his early forties, bald and tough–looking, and has the whole Bruce Willis vibe going on.
“Are you ok, Natasha?” He gives a sympathetic smile at me.
“Fine,” I snap as I wipe the snot from my nose on the back of my hand in such a feral manner I even surprise myself. “Who are you?” I dema
nd. He smiles and steps back, making eye contact with the other two.
“Um, I’m your bodyguard,” he says quietly in an American accent, as if speaking to a child. “What!” I scream. “I don’t have a bodyguard. Why in the hell do I have a bodyguard?”
“I’ve been with you for three weeks,” he whispers, thinking that would calm me down.
“What!” I scream. “Are you fucking kidding me? Why…how…I mean…are you serious?” I frown. This night has turned into the frigging twilight zone. My jaw is on the ground. “You have been following me for three weeks? I can’t believe it. How do I not know this?”
“Mr Stanton organised it, ma’am.”
“Huh—ma’am. What am I, fifty?” My mind goes into overdrive and I get out of the car.
“Why is the security so tight around Joshua?”
He frowns. “I’m sorry. I have specific orders not to divulge that information to you.”
“From who?” I snap.
“Ma’am.”
“ Stop calling me that!” I scream.
“Um, ok. I think you should calm down.”
“Calm down…calm down…if you want to know who to guard tonight, guard Joshua, because I am going to fucking kill him.”
He steps back and smiles as if he knew I was going to say that. “Let’s just get you home safely, shall we, ma’am,” he turns me to push me back into my car.
“My name is Natasha, asshole,” I scream. “Don’t touch me.” I yank my arm free of his grip. I get back into my car and slam the door, taking off so fast I rev the shit out of my Honda.
Chapter 17
As I pull into my driveway my mother’s happy mood is sickening. I don’t have the strength to keep quiet much longer. I climb out and hit the lock button as she links arms with Will and begins to walk inside.
“A night of cocktails with my sons—how exciting,” she purrs. I roll my eyes at Cameron who puts a reassuring arm around my neck.
“Just keep quiet and don’t fight with her. You will only make it worse,” he whispers. I walk in behind them and head straight into the master suite shower. I can’t be around her at the moment. She makes me sick. How can she be in such a good mood after speaking to Natasha like that? She really does hate her. I blow out a breath as I put my head under the water. I hear the door shut and my eyes shoot up to see Cam sitting on the side of the bath with a beer in his hand. I turn my back to him and start to soap up.