by T L Swan
Her eyes flick to Ben who right at this moment I think might actually kill her … fuck this is crazy shit. They are even scaring me and I know neither of them is capable of this violence. My heart starts to race as fear grips me.
“I want cash,” she looks at Joshua nervously.
“I can have it in thirty minutes,” Joshua sneers.
“What’s it going to be?” Joshua yells.
She’s scared it’s obvious. I’m fucking scared and I am friends with these two.
“You go and get the money, Joshua, and Peter and I will escort little miss here to get the computers and extra copies,” Ben says flatly.
Joshua’s eyes meet mine. “Search her house,” I snap at Ben.
He nods and grabs her by the arm and pulls her toward the door.
“One hour,” she sneers. “One hour back here with my money.”
Joshua glares at her and I start to panic again. I think he’s losing control.
Natasha
Weeknights are meant to be relaxing and calm but I have never been so anxious. I was a regular person. I had a normal life … that is until Joshua Stanton came back into it. Now it seems I jump from one nightmarish situation to the next. Totally unrelated stupid things that are making my head spin. I feel like I am in an out-of-control plane and I don’t know if the landing is going to be ok or if I am going to crash and burn. Cancer, serial killers, hit men, body-guards, paternity … Jesten, Joshua’s feeling about me. I just want some damn peace … with a boyfriend who I know loves me. Why can’t I be in love with a normal man … a boring, weedy, slightly overweight man? My stomach clenches as nerves fill my system and I look at my watch for the fiftieth time tonight. Why haven’t they contacted me yet? It’s Tuesday night and I’m waiting for the call from Bridget and Abbie to let me know that the fight between Jesten and Joshua is over … and that Jesten is still alive. Nine pm—it’s got to be on soon. I got home from the hospital at seven and have been waiting ever since. I put my head into my hands as I sit on the toilet. This is a nightmare. How am I supposed to be calm when I know what is going on in the Luna Park Convention Centre just across town? My phone rings, it’s Abbie.
“Hello,” I answer.
“Hi, it’s Abbie.”
“I know who it is, what’s happening?” I snap.
“Right, so Joshua is fighting Jesten. I just saw it on the draw.”
“Shit.” I was hoping that they wouldn’t be put against each other.
“Are they fighting right now?” I ask.
“No, not yet, I will call you when it starts.”
“Ok,” I hang up.
I walk into the kitchen and pour myself a vodka with soda and go out onto my balcony and light a cigarette. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I need to calm my nerves. I’m a walking cot case.
I pace up and down my balcony for another forty minutes with my stomach in my throat. What if Joshua actually hurts Jesten? What if Jesten hurts Joshua? No, that won’t happen, Joshua is too strong. Maybe I should have gone. Shit, this is total bullshit. I dial the number again.
“Hello,” Abbie answers.
“What’s happening?”
“I think they are next,” she replies.
“Oh shit.” My heart starts to thump.
“Hey, did you know that Bridget likes Ben?” she asks.
I frown. “Who told you that?”
“Cameron and Murph.”
“Huh?”
“Apparently they ring each other all the time.”
I screw my face up as I hold my hand in the air. “What?”
“I know that’s what I said and now she is sitting with him and they are giggling and flirting and shit.”
I shake my head as I listen to this story. “Are you serious?”
“Totally, oh here they come. I will call you back,” she yells over the noisy crowd.
Oh my god, oh my god. I pace through my apartment with my hands on my head.
Twenty minutes later my phone rings. I snatch it from the table. “Hello.”
“Ok, so.”
My eyes widen. “So what.”
“Um, so they really hate each other.”
My horrified face drops. “What happened?”
“So the fight was ok. Josh won.”
“Yes,” I answer nervously.
“But then it got out of hand again and they kept fighting after the bell.”
I bring my hand to my face as my eyes widen. “Yes.”
“And I think Joshua has done something to his arm and then he knocked Jesten out.”
“What!” I shriek. “What do you mean?”
“Joshua hit Jesten so hard he fell to the ground and then he didn’t get up.”
My eyes widen in horror. “Is he dead?”
She laughs. “No, I don’t think so. No definitely not, he’s alive.”
“Where is Joshua?”
“He is in the dressing room and Cameron is with him.”
“Ok I’m going,” I hang up and immediately dial Cameron’s phone.”
“Hi Tash.” He answers first ring.
“Is Joshua ok?”
“He’s fine.”
“Is the guy he fought alright?” I close my eyes as I wait for the answer.
“Yeah, I just went and checked on him, he just hit the ground hard and knocked himself out. He will be ok.”
“Can I speak to Joshua?”
“He’s in the shower. I will drop him at your house on our way home.”
Hmm. “Ok, see you then.” I hang up, dry-retch again and get into a scalding hot shower, the only place lately where I seem to be calm.
Two hours later I am sitting on my lounge drinking tea while trying my hardest not to get fuming mad. Where are they? Have they gone out? The key turns in my door and Joshua walks in, his arm in a sling. Cameron is behind him.
I glare at him while biting my tongue. Don’t say it, don’t say it. Don’t fucking say it.
“You’re an idiot,” I blurt out. Shit, I said it.
“Hello,” he says deadpan as he walks into the kitchen and throws his keys onto the kitchen bench.
Cameron silently shakes his head at me to signify silence. I roll my eyes. This is the testosterone bullshit again.
I stand in an outrage. “What have you done to your arm? You need to go to the hospital.”
He opens a beer and takes a swing.
I roll my eyes. “Cameron, what is wrong with his arm?”
“He will be fine in the morning. I will leave you two lovebirds to it.” He raises his eyebrows at me and smiles cheekily in jest at me being stuck with him. He slaps Joshua on the back as he leaves the apartment.
“I’m going to bed,” I sigh.
He nods. “See you in there.”
I lie in bed as I hear him fuss around in the kitchen and make toast and tea, seemingly unaffected.
I am so tired I feel like I actually had the fight tonight, this man and this life with him is messing with my head and is utterly exhausting.
The sound of pills getting popped from their packets greets me when I hop out of the shower in the morning and I walk into the kitchen to investigate. I slept like a baby and don’t even remember Joshua coming to bed last night. My eyes cover his body and I gasp in shock. Joshua’s face is a mess, he has a fat lip, a black eye, his ribs are bruised, his hand is the size of a watermelon and he’s taking painkillers. I can’t even be sympathetic, this is beyond ridiculous.
“What are you taking?” I ask.
“Just anti-inflammatories,” he murmurs.
I scowl and head back to my bedroom to get dressed for work. What an idiot.
He follows me and gets back into bed and pulls the covers over himself.
I frown at him as I put my hand on my hip. “What are you doing?” I ask.
“Going back to bed—what does it look like?” he murmurs.
Now he wants to stay in bed. “Are you not working today?” I ask.
“Mmm, late
r,” he groans.
I can’t help it—compassion gets the better of me. “Are you alright?” I ask as I bend and rub his forehead and gently kiss it.
He nods but doesn’t say anything.
“Are you going to go to the hospital and see about that broken hand?”
He nods again, still silent.
“Would you like it if I did this to myself and my body?” I ask.
“No,” he answers quietly.
“Then you understand why it drives me insane that you do this for fun.”
He nods again.
“I’m going to work. I will see you later.” I bend and kiss him gently on the cheek and he lies still. He must be really sore, he isn’t even joking about naughty nurses.
“Bye babe,” he whispers croakily and then rolls over and closes his eyes.
Hmm, figures, I beg him to stay in bed with me all weekend and now on a Wednesday because it suits him he is staying at home in bed, so typical.
It’s official, operation slim down is damn boring. “What will it be?” the cashier asks me.
I smile as I look at the coffee list on the blackboard on the far wall. “Damn it, I’m going to be naughty. Can I have a caramel latte with one sugar and a cinnamon scroll please?” It’s Friday, I’ve finished work for the day and have called over to see the girls I worked with at SSAC. I’m not meeting them for half an hour so I called in here to fill in the time. I haven’t been to this coffee shop before as it’s out of the way. I sit at the bar bench and read a magazine as I wait for my order.
“Order for Natasha,” the cashier calls. I take my order and am on my way out of the café when I catch sight of Joshua sitting in the corner of the café with Adrian and … that bitch from the wedding. Is he kidding? How is he still in contact with her? My blood boils and I march over.
“Hello,” I stammer.
Joshua looks up and his eyes widen in shock. “Tash … baby.” He stands immediately. “Join us.” He pulls out a chair.
I fake a smile. “Adrian.” My eyes shoot to Dolly Parton and she smiles broadly. I glare at Joshua who of course is looking his sensational best. Why does he have to be so fucking good looking? I fall into the seat uncomfortably.
“This is Tatiana.” Joshua introduces her way too quickly.
“We’ve met.” I smile a little too sweetly at him as I am reminded of why I called her Tittiana on our first meeting. His face drops. He was hoping I didn’t remember who she was … bastard.
“Tatiana works with us on this new job we are doing,” he stammers nervously.
Oh, this is just great. “Really?” I smile. “How nice.”
My eyes flick to Adrian and he smiles knowingly.
“Yes, what a coincidence. I didn’t know she worked for this company. Did I Adrian?” Joshua is talking at double speed. Busted, asshole.
“Right.” I drop my head as fury starts to pump. We have discussed his work on numerous occasions and he hasn’t mentioned this once.
He puts his hand on my lap and grabs my hand. I smile sweetly. You are one sneaky son of a bitch.
“So lovely to finally meet you Natasha,” Tatiana purrs. “I’ve heard all about the woman who has finally tamed Joshua.”
Ha. What a joke! “I bet you have,” I purr.
I fake a smile at her as my eyes flick to Joshua who has started to perspire. Adrian smiles broadly and winks at me. He’s loving this.
“So how long have you been married?” she asks. My eyes drop to her enormous breasts. Good grief does anyone at all look at her face, she must wear a back brace under her clothing.
Huh, my eyes widen. Joshua squeezes my hand as I try to rip it from his gorilla grip.
“We are not married,” I snap. I hold out my hand. “I don’t see a ring on this finger … do you?”
She frowns at Joshua. “But I thought you said?” He coughs uncomfortably
“I bet you have,” I smile sarcastically. “Joshua’s stories get a little exaggerated sometimes and then on other times he totally leaves things out altogether, don’t you honey?” I raise my eyebrows.
Joshua sculls his coffee to escape my glare.
“I have to get going, lovely to see you again.” I smile at her as I stand.
Joshua stands. “I’ll walk you out.”
“Not necessary,” I smile. “See you later.” I storm out of the café with him hot on my heels.
“Seriously, Josh, go back inside,” I sigh.
“Natasha,” he snaps. “What was that about?”
I smile sweetly as I boil with anger on the inside, what an asshole. How could he not tell me about working with her? Act calm. Act calm, act fucking calm. I frown. “What are you talking about, Joshua?”
“Where are you going?” he asks as he grabs my hand.
“Out with my friends. I told you.”
He rolls his lips as he contemplates saying something.
“What is it you want to say Joshua?” I raise a brow in question.
“I didn’t tell you I worked with her because I knew you would lose your shit.” His eyes stay firmly on mine.
I smile. “Always thinking of me.” I pull from his grip. “How thoughtful you are, no my shit is completely together,” I sneer.
He narrows his eyes at me. “I’ll be over around eight?” he replies as he leans in and kisses my cheek.
“I look forward to it,” I reply. I walk back to my car with a red glow shooting from my ears. He has got to be joking.
My phone dances silently around the table. “Are you not even going to answer it?” Bridget frowns.
“No.” I screw up my face as I drink the last of my margarita. “I’m off him, he can go to hell.” We are at the Cargo Bar. I’ve ditched Joshua. I didn’t even tell him I was going out. This is the fifth time my phone has rung in fifteen minutes.
“Who is this chick anyway?” Abbie asks. “You could take her.”
I nod. “Totally, but if he thinks I’m going to be a mushroom and kept in the dark for the rest of my life he can think again. Our whole relationship is one-way traffic. His fucking way and I’m over it.”
The girls both nod as they listen.
“I told him I wouldn’t be his booty call and yet I am.” I take a drink. “I constantly open up to him and tell him I love him like a pathetic schoolgirl and yet he says nothing back. Every damn night he turns up at eight o’clock and it is just assumed that we will have awesome sex all night.”
Abbie glances at Bridget. “Yeah, sounds totally shit.”
Bridget laughs into her drink and I giggle. “It is.”
They both shake their heads at me. “So, let’s get this straight, you are annoyed because he comes around to your house every night and gives you awesome sex without complications.” Abbie frowns.
I nod. “Basically.”
“God, I wish, where do I find a man like this?” Abbie sighs. Bridget giggles and clinks glasses with her. The group of young guys we know are here and bound over to the table. “Let’s dance.” They start to groove on the spot. The girls both stand and move to the dance floor and I stay seated. “I’m not dancing,” I sigh.
“Yeah, me neither,” replies the young one with the curly brown hair.
“Where have you been? You haven’t been here for weeks,” he asks.
I nod. “I know,” I frown. “My gran got sick so we have had some stuff on.”
“Oh shit,” he replies. “Is she ok?
“No, she has cancer,” I sigh.
“Sorry,” he mutters.
“I met a girl,” he blurts out to change the subject.
My eyes widen. “Really? Tell me.” I smile.
“She’s blonde and beautiful.”
I smile.
“She’s away at the moment with her parents.” He shrugs.
“How did you meet?” I sip my drink, this guy is so cute.
“At work,” he replies.
My skin prickles. I feel him before I see him. My eyes flick around the space and su
re enough there he is. Tall, dark, handsome and extremely infuriating. Shit. I turn around in a rush and swallow the lump in my throat. Bloody snitchy bodyguards. Joshua is talking to my bodyguard against the wall.
He walks over to the table. “What do you think you are doing?” he snaps.
I swallow uncomfortably. “What are you doing here?” I ask.
“Answer the question,” he replies.
I narrow my eyes. “Talking to this wonderful man actually.” The boy next to me widens his eyes in fear and I bite my lip to stifle my smile, poor bastard.
Joshua’s furious eyes hold mine. “Leave,” he snaps to my companion.
He nods immediately and goes to stand up. I grab his arm. “Sit back down. You are not going anywhere,” I reply.
“You have five seconds,” Joshua growls. The poor boy’s eyes are the size of saucers as his eyes flick between Joshua and me. Joshua is scaring even me.
“Cut it out Joshua,” I snap. “You leave.”
“Five … four,” Joshua starts to count in a cool calculated voice and the boy practically jumps and runs.
Joshua stands with his legs wide and his hands in his suit pockets, fury dripping from his every pore as he ticks his jaw. His tall body leans down to me. “What the fuck are you doing here?” he sneers.
I swallow the fear in my throat. I don’t think I have ever seen him so angry.
I drain my glass. “What does it look like? Drinking,” I stammer.
He narrows his eyes at me. “I have been at your house worried and I find you are in a bar drinking with other men and ignoring my calls.”
I twirl my hair uncomfortably. “I don’t feel like seeing you tonight,” I reply.
He grabs my arm. “You want to fight precious? Say when.”
I pull my arm from his grip. “Stop it. You’re acting crazy.” My eyes flick around to the bodyguards who are all purposely looking away.
“You haven’t seen fucking crazy yet,” he whispers so coldly that I get a shiver down my spine.
I snap my eyes away from his glare.
“Stop carrying on,” he angrily whispers.
“Who’s carrying on Joshua? I’m in a bar trying to enjoy myself and you turn up here like Fabio. Go away please.”
“Get your ass in that limo now,” he growls.