by L. S Bethel
Saying nothing, Jung-Soo turned his back on him and walked away. It hurt, but nothing could make him feel any worse than he already did. The weight of his decision was always there pressing on him, reminding him of what he had done to her. Even in their precious moments, he could never fully allow himself to feel joy, refusing to forget what he’d taken from her. Her well-being was all that mattered. He had been willing to put on the mask forever to give her the blissful life she deserved to make it up to her. But in his heart, he knew it would never be enough.
Chapter Forty-Five
When they arrived back at the palace Kang-Dae didn’t bother going to see Serenity. He already knew she wouldn’t see him, not with the way they’d left things. It was one of those decisions that had made sense at the time, but now that his anger was gone, he’d realized he’d gone too far. Instead, he went straight to his study, choosing to spend another night there until he could work up the nerve to apologize, and he knew had much to apologize for. He fell asleep at his desk; his lantern burning through the night.
***
Yoon went to visit Jae-Hwa as he had not heard from or seen her in days. He thought maybe she was busy with her part of their plan. She had been subtly planting doubts about the witch in different ears, allowing the roots of distrust, to take hold. She still was not aware of the other thing he and their cohort had done to ensure their plan’s success, but it was for her own good.
“Jae-Hwa,” he called out before entering her room. The first thing he noticed was how bare it looked. All the beautiful decorations and artwork had been removed. “Jae-Hwa!” he called out once more.
Movement from his left drew his attention. He turned to greet her, but his words died in his mouth. His daughter was not his daughter, not the one he’d raised. The girl he’d brought up would never be seen in such a state. Dressed in a grey dress, with a plain white overlay, the outfit was almost indistinguishable from what the servants wore. Her hair was not in any type of style, only left to hang loosely to her waist. She wore no jewelry or makeup.
“Jae-Hwa,” Yoon gasped out not understanding what he was seeing. “What is this? Why are you dressed this way?”
“I had to borrow from Asha. I had nothing left to wear.”
“What happened to your clothes. Did someone take them?” he asked becoming angry.
“I threw them all away. I don’t need them anymore.” She said in a calm low voice. Yoon shook his head in confusion.
“What do you mean?”
“Those dresses were for someone else, not me. I am not a queen, and I never will be,” she explained.
Yoon made his way to her taking her into his arms.
“My beautiful girl, don’t despair. We are making progress every day. The people have already begun to turn against her, and the King has started to distrust her. It won’t be long until he’s at your feet begging-,” Jae-Hwa pulled away with a huff.
“Stop it, father. None of it’s real. I was never going to be queen. It was a fantasy, a story you told me that I foolishly believed.”
“Where is this coming from?” Yoon asked, never hearing her speak in such a way.
“From a place of truth, something we should have faced long ago,” Jae-Hwa told him. Not liking her tone or what she was saying he decided to give her some time to herself. When he returned, they could talk again, and he would remind her what they were working toward.
“I will get some new dresses. You cannot be seen like this,” he told her, not wanting her to embarrass herself or him.
“It is fine for where I’m going.”
“Going? Where are you going?”
“Yenoa, home.”
“Jae-Hwa don’t be foolish, we’re this close to our goal.”
“No father, we aren’t,” she said dejectedly. Eyes downcast and shoulder slouched, she walked away, no longer carrying herself the same.
Yoon’s temper flared. Now his daughter had given up. She was no longer the bright and beautiful girl he knew. This would not stand. He needed to speed things along. He would show her that nothing could stand in the way of their destiny.
Chapter Forty-Six
When Kang-Dae awoke still at his desk, his head was pounding so bad it hurt to open his eyes. He needed to see Hui, to get something to dull the pain. He practically stumbled down the halls, the pain making it hard to walk straight. Someone was suddenly at his side helping him along the way. They arrived after what felt like hours and he collapsed into a chair. He vaguely heard Hui asking him something. He muttered about the pain in his head as the darkness crept on him. A strong scent hit his nostrils. The more he inhaled it the more the pain began to subside, and his vision returned.
“Is that better my King?” Hui asked. Kang-Dae nodded.
“Has it ever been this bad?” he asked.
Kang-Dae shook his head.
“It’s worrying that you’ve been suffering this for so long. With that poison thief still on the loose, I don’t think it’s something we should ignore.”
“No one has poisoned me,” Kang-Dae slurred a bit, the medicine affecting his speech.
“My king, until we catch them, we can’t know for sure. Whoever did it could have access to you the average person does not.” Yoon spoke. Kang-Dae looked over at him surprised that it had been him that had brought him to Hui.
“If someone were poisoning me, they are doing a poor job of it,” Kang-Dae said rubbing at his eyes.
“They may want to do it slowly, to relieve suspicion. Back when Kah Mah had two rulers the queen ended up slowly poisoning the king so the people would think he was only getting sick. It could be the same thing.” Hui sucked in a breath as Kang-Dae tensed.
Yoon, realizing what he said tried to rectify it. “I don’t mean the same situation, My King. I know the queen would not poison you.”
All Kang-Dae heard was ‘queen’, ‘poison’, ‘you” echoing in his mind. Suddenly he couldn’t stop thinking of how Serenity had been the only one spotted outside this very room before the theft took place, how her eyes were now always filled with disdain whenever she looked at him, the way she never allowed him to touch her anymore, how she preferred Jung-Soo’s company to his. It had all seemed so ridiculous before, but now, now it made so much sense it was alarming.
“Where is she?” he asked in a low voice.
“I do not know my King, perhaps Jung-Soo would-,” Kang-Dae tossed the table in front of him and it went flying into the wall breaking into pieces. Hui and Yoon took a step back. Kang-Dae didn’t say another word as he stormed out of the room only one destination in his mind.
***
Jung-Soo avoided Serenity. He was too afraid he’d confess everything to her. Though a part of him knew she should be told, like Kang-Dae he feared what it would mean. He tried to clear his head with training. The feel of the staff in his hand making life so much simpler for him. He should have known fate loved to mess with him when Serenity entered.
“You weren’t even going to let me know you were alive?” she asked.
“I am alive,” he informed her putting away his staff, refusing to look her way.
“You know scared I was?”
“You didn’t need to be. The King had it all planned out. I was never in danger,” he admitted.
“What do you mean?”
“Kang-Dae knows someone in the council is talking, giving away important information. He couldn’t make his plan public,” Jung-Soo explained.
“He could have told me,” She said clearly offended over being kept in the dark.
“Could he?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“With the way you’ve been treating him are you surprised he no longer comes to you?” She rolled her eyes.
“So what, he’s the one who shouldn’t trust me?” she scoffed. The way she said had Jung-Soo staring at her closely.
“What do you mean by that?”
Serenity pressed her lips together and looked away.
; “I’m glad you’re okay,” she said before making a hasty exit.
Serenity walked out of the sparring room and ran right into Kang-Dae. Still angry at him for having her locked up in her room like a child, she moved to walk past him, but he blocked her path. She moved to the other side, but he did again. “Let me through,” she said through gritted teeth.
“I need to speak with you,” he said.
“I don’t want to speak with you,” she replied once again trying to walk around him only for him to grab onto her arm.
“That hurts,” she huffed trying to pull her arm free.
“I said we need to talk.” Serenity didn’t know when Jung-Soo had come out but suddenly he was there pulling Kang-Dae off her and placing her behind him. The look in Kang-Dae’s eye was frightful. The last time she’d seen it was when he had almost killed Su.
“I think you should calm yourself,” Jung-Soo suggested warily, but Kang-Dae seemed past the point where for words.
As if to prove it, Kang-Dae reached out, grabbed Jung-Soo by the head, and slammed it into the wall making Serenity scream out. Jung-Soo fell to the floor in a daze, blood dripping from his head. Serenity’s guards stepped up and Kang-Dae turned those cold eyes to them. Not wanting them to get hurt she rushed to him. “We can talk,” she said keeping her voice as steady as possible.
“My Queen,” Arezoo harshly called out.
“It’s okay, stand down. We’re just going to talk.” As Kang-Dae grabbed her hand and pulled her along, she turned back to see Nasreen helping Jung-Soo to his feet. As Kang-Dae pulled her further and further away, all she could do was pray.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Serenity was dragged to the bedroom. His grip on her painfully tight. Her heart raced with uncertainty and fear. She was horrified to see his treatment of Jung-Soo. She put herself between him and her guards because on some crazy level she still believed he wouldn’t hurt her but as he pulled her into the room practically throwing her inside, she suddenly wasn't so sure. He slammed the door shut so hard the walls rattled. Her heart pounded as he stared at her, his fierce expression still present. He stepped toward her and she stepped back. He paused, a flash of sadness appearing on his face. For a second, he reminded her of the old Kang-Dae, but just as quickly as it came it passed and the fury returned. Once again, he came at her this time, he moved quickly this time not allowing her time to escape. He grabbed her by her arms and moved to kiss her. Serenity turned her head to avoid him. He released her with the curse.
“Would you prefer if I brought Jung-Soo? Is he the only one worthy of your affections now?” She folded her arms and gave him the side-eye. “What? Now you won't even speak to me?” He bent down to her level. “Do you wish to kill me?” He asked. She turned to him with confused eyes. “The poison thief, was it you? You want to get rid of me and be with him?” Serenity was starting to believe he was losing his mind.
“What are you talking about?”
“You think I do not see. That the people do not see? They're all laughing at me while you and he flaunt yourselves around the palace.” Deciding she'd had enough she tried to walk away from him only for him to pull her back.
“Has this been your plan from the start? To take my kingdom, my captain, my life?” Serenity pulled herself from his grasp.
“You are acting crazy.”
“You show me a taste of your love only to deny me over and over and I am crazy?” He laughed dryly. “Tell me, have you laid with him yet? Have you let him touch you, kiss you?!” he asked becoming more and more aggressive with every question.
“No! You're being ridiculous. Nothing like that has ever happened.”
“Why should I believe you? You hide yourself from me. You keep secrets. Why should I believe anything you have to say? Since your arrival, my life has known no peace. I once thought you to be a blessing, now I see you for the curse you are.”
His words shouldn't hurt. They should not have bothered her because she should not feel anything for him anymore, but it did.
“Got to hell,” She spat trying to leave.
“I'm already there can't you see? How could I not have seen you for what you are?” The way he was looking at her hurt and she became angry because of it, angry at him and angry at herself for allowing it.
“I asked myself the same question when I found out what you did.” Kang-Dae froze.
“You talk about not believing me and when you have been lying to me this whole time. What? Did you think you could hide your dirt for me? I am a seer remember?” There was a moment, a brief moment when she could see him come through once more. He was hidden beneath the guilty look on his face. She could see the Kang-Dae who sat with her when she took the arrow for him, the one who would apologize so sincerely when she’d been poisoned. Kang-Dae shook his head and he disappeared once again in his place once more was the unstable doppelganger.
“You should be grateful.” the audacity of his words left her speechless. “You have no idea what I've done for you.”
“Done for me? You lied to me, imprisoned me here, and tried to keep me from my family!”
“Is that why you wish me dead? Is that why you cling to Jung-Soo? Did your hate for me drive you to him?” Too outraged and tired she gave in to the anger needing to hurt him.
“Yes! Yes, I hate you!” She spat. He went deathly quiet, looking distraught at her words. “I despise you!” She lied.
“Stop.”
“You disgust me!”
“Enough!”
“I want to destroy everything you love so you can feel how I felt. I want to kill with my own hands and live the rest of my days with Jun-,” his hands reached out to grab her and she ducked out the way, running for the door but the heaviness of her clothes slowed her. He caught her from behind. She threw her head back hitting his chin. He grunted and his grip loosened enough for her to slip out. Running for the door again she managed to open it a little before it was slammed back shut. Kang-Dae tossed her from the door. She landed on her shoulder with a whimper. He was on her before she could recover pushing her onto her back. His were eyes frighteningly empty. His hand trailed up her arm slowly, tracing over her bruising shoulder. Serenity panted, fear keeping her still. His hands lingered over her collarbone before making their way to her throat. As soon as she realized his intention, she tried to scream out for help, but her cry was cut off by his hand around her neck.
Serenity grabbed at it trying to pull him off her as his grip tightened closing off her air supply. She hit him, scratched him desperately trying to stop him. Her eyes began to water as she tried to take in air, a horrible feeling of deja vu filled her. As she stared into his eyes, she saw nothing of the man she first met, the man she fell for. He's not in there, she thought as her vision began to dim. As her hands began to go limp his face shifted. Tears sprang to his eyes and he released her. She scrambled back gasping for air, taking in as much as she could.
“I'm sorry,” he whispered. Tears streaming down his cheeks. “I'm sorry.” She wanted to run but was still trying to recover. He crawled over to her, and she tensed up in fear, but he just lay his head in her lap, hugging her at the waist.
“It's alright,” he whispered. “You can kill me. I will let you. I will die if it's what you want,” he cried. She stared down too horrified to say anything. “Just let me be with you a little longer. Just a little longer, then you can kill me.” Serenity struggled to swallow as the urge to weep came upon her. Her conflicted emotions were just as bad as his conflicted personalities. Jung-Soo had been right, something was terribly wrong with him. She’d been too consumed with her pain and anger to see it. She raised a shaking hand to his head tentatively sweeping the hair off his neck as he cried. Through her watery eyes, she saw something that made her pause. On the back of his neck she could see the line of his veins but what made her feel sick was the fact that they had a green tint to them. The same green she'd seen him fighting to escape in her dream. Her eyes widened in horror.
C
hapter Forty-Eight
Serenity continued to comfort and soothe Kang-Dae until she could coax him to sleep. As he slept, she watched him, feeling guilty at what he must be suffering. Perhaps if she had said something when she first had her dream things would not have gotten this bad. With everything that happened, she found it impossible to hold onto the anger she had. He had clearly been tormented. In a moment of clarity, she allowed herself to remember who Kang-Dae was, how he’d been her rescuer when she’d first arrived. The lengths he went through to keep her safe, not trapped, just safe. He cared for her, that much she knew. Despite his lies, she knew he was a good man. She could not allow him to suffer this way. Trying not to wake him she carefully slid out from under him. She looked back at him as she headed toward the door, hoping he would stay asleep until her return.