by L. S Bethel
“I know.” She said effectively stunning him into silence. “Min told me.”
Kang-Dae didn’t know what to feel. His heart was pounding in his ears. “But-, ho-, why,” he stammered unable to form words. She placed her finger on his lips and she kissed them.
For a moment he thought maybe she didn’t really know what he’d done, or maybe it hadn’t truly dawned on her yet. “I’m sor-,” he started only for her to kiss him again, longer. Kang-Dae was truly baffled. Of all the reactions he’d imagined this was not one of them. She stared at him with warmth in her eyes instead of the resentment he’d prepared for. She kissed him once more, this time he returned it. The burden and guilt he’d been carrying for months were being washed away with every brush of her lips. All his fears and worries dissolved as he pulled her closer to him so he could hold her. When she pulled away, he had a moment of fear that she’d suddenly come to her senses. She stood up and reached her hand out to him. Relived he accepted it pulling himself up and letting her lead him inside.
Serenity walked them over to the bed and sat him on the edge. Kang-Dae tilted his head quizzically, unsure of what she was doing until her hands went to the sash on her dress. Mouth dry he could do nothing but swallow as the dress dropped to the floor. Standing before in nothing but her undergarments Kang-Dae’s heart raced. Serenity stepped between his legs, wrapping her arms around his neck. She kissed him slowly, taking her time. Kang-Dae slid his arms around her waist. His hands went to the tie on her top. With a tug, the thread loosened. Never breaking their kiss, Kang-Dae tightened his hold on her and rolled them both onto the bed. Serenity’s hands were busy undoing his robe. Once it was open, he quickly shed it and tossed it. Feeling her hands roaming his bare skin Kang-Dae shuddered. Like the night under stars, he kissed her fervently. The rest of their clothes were quickly discarded. His eyes locked with hers one question within them. Serenity nodded and brought him down to kiss her again.
He made love to her slow savoring every moment, but he planned on even more moments in the future. She held his face in her palm not taking her eyes off him as they moved together in an intimate dance. He gently kissed the inside of it not stopping his movements. She was so beautiful to him and she finally felt like she was his. They pushed each other higher and higher neither ready to tumble over the edge just yet, needing the moment to last as long as possible. Serenity cried out first unable to contain it. She clutched at his back as his pace increased, reaching his peak with a loud groan.
He held her to him when it was over never wanting to let her go. He kissed the top of her head as she snuggled into his embrace. “Serenghe,” he whispered as he fell asleep blissfully, with a head full of dreams of Serenity.
Chapter Fifty-Eight
Serenity had a tough time turning herself without waking Kang-Dae, but she did. She wanted to see his face. He looked so relaxed and peaceful. She lay there trying to memorize every detail of it. She wanted it ingrained in her memory for all time. She lightly traced her fingers over his features. She wouldn't sleep tonight. She was taking as much time as she could with him. It was why she wanted today to be all about them. If it was to be their last day together, she wanted to give them both happy memories to hold onto. It had been both wonderful and agonizingly sad spending such precious moments together knowing it was the end. Whether she survived her trip or not she would not see him again.
The time had come. As the sun began to rise her heartbeat did the same. She wished she had more time. She swallowed hard preparing herself for what she was about to do. She quietly asked God to forgive her and closed her eyes. She started with a moan, then a groan. She moved a little, just enough to cause the bed to shift. She mimicked the movements of a person having a bad dream. It didn't take long for Kang-Dae to awaken. Immediately he tried to “wake” her from her nightmare. He gently shook her, calling out her name. She opened her eyes slowly acting as if she had been in a deep sleep. Seeing the worried look on his face just made the guilt that much worse.
“Are you alright?” He asked helping her sit up. She took her time acting as if she needed a moment to recover.
“I saw- I saw a red bird getting caught in a trap. It couldn't get out. Then a tiger tore it from the net. Kang-Dae’s brows furrowed.
“The western plains are overrun with robins. The people there are hunters. It is where most of our meat comes from. We have not gotten word that Katsuo had entered their lands yet, perhaps that's their next stop,” he wondered out loud.
“Maybe the tiger represents our soldiers stopping them,” she offered with false sincerity.
“Do you think this will happen soon?”
“I think so. We can't afford to wait.”
He nodded and began to get up. “The trip to the Gi lands?”
“I'll take care of it. It will be fine.”
He kissed her and hopped out of bed. Her heart burning over her lies and deceit. Is this how he had felt when he had done the same to her?
***
She saw him and Jung-Soo off along with Amoli. “Safe travels my King,” Amoli said handing him a pack. He looked strangely at it before offering her his banks. She held back her tears as she said goodbye to Jung-Soo, hoping not to alert him. She had to resist the urge to hug him. He looked at her a bit strangely, but his mind must have been preoccupied with the upcoming battle because he didn't say anything. Before Kang-Dae could get to his horse Serenity wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard, her last goodbye. The smile he had when they pulled away almost destroyed her, but she held her composure. “I will be back,” he promised.
“I know,” she said. Reaching for her necklace she removed it and placed it over his head. He looked at it then at her questioning her with his eyes. “For luck,” was all she said. He kissed her once more appearing a lot happier than a man going into battle probably should be. As he rode off on his fruitless endeavor Serenity felt her heart breaking. She couldn't stop the tears from falling.
“My Queen?” Amoli asked. Serenity waved her off unable to speak. There was no going back now.
Serenity, Arezoo, Yoon, Jae-Hwa, and their accompanied men traveled by horse and carriage. She and Jae-Hwa rode in the carriage. She’d forced Yoon to ride on a horse not wanting to be confined in such a small space with him. They traveled in silence with nothing but her fears and doubts speaking loudly in her mind. She kept rebuking the idea she was heading toward her death. She slightly prayed continuously that she will make it through safely. Her eyes drifted to Jae-Hwa who was almost unrecognizable. She wore simple clothes and had swept up her long hair into a ponytail. Her entire aura was different. Serenity couldn’t fathom what brought about this change in her. The hoofbeats of the horses were the only sounds in the carriage. The women never spoke or acknowledged one another both too caught up in their introspection to attempt a conversation. Serenity thought about Amoli, wishing she was there with her, but she’d been adamant about not being involved in what she believed was a suicidal endeavor. She hadn’t even told her goodbye which had stung. Serenity could only hope she could forgive her one day.
***
Amoli raced to up the temple steps. She’d sprinted the whole way through the grounds in search of the Queen dowager. The older woman was just leaving the temple with her guards following close behind her when Amoli came upon her. “Your Majesty,” Amoli addressed out of breath.
“What is it?” asked concern all over her face.
“You have to stop her,” Amoli gasped out.
“Stop who?”
“The Queen. She's trying to return home, but it will kill her.” the Dowager Queen paled and clutched her chest. She looked to her guard.
“Gather my men and bring them to me!”
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Kang-Dae had Serenity on the brain as he rode. The night came up quickly, so he made his garrison set up camp. He sat by the fire staring into it. He hoped for a short quick victory so he could return to his wife. He would resume his vow of makin
g her as happy as possible. Only now, there would be no secrets lurking between them stealing the joy he felt. Memories of their passionate night together were on repeat in his mind. It filled him with indescribable joy to think that they would have hundreds of more nights like that. One day they might be blessed with a child. The idea only recently entered his mind now he couldn’t stop wanting it, and he knew Serenity would want it to. She had a motherly heart. He could imagine her teaching and molding their child, nurturing and raising them up to be just as amazing as she was.
The men passed around bread. Kang-Dae ate distractedly. Jung-Soo was quiet as usual, but he did appear to have something on his mind. Kang-Dae played with Serenity’s necklace, smiling to at the memory of her giving it to him. He suddenly remembered the pack Amoli had given to him. He had been confused as to why she had personally packed it for him. She had never made such a gesture before. It wasn't her responsibility and he already had plenty of provisions but he took it anyway so he wouldn’t upset her. She clearly spent time on it. When he opened the pack the first thing, he saw were various fruits. Just as he was about to offer them to his comrades, he noticed the small paper sticking to the side. He moved it first seeing the writing on it. As it turned it his heart dropped seeing the words that were written.
‘She's going home.’
The pack fell to the ground as he stood fruit going everywhere. “We're leaving!” he shouted. His men looked at him as if he were crazy. Jung-Soo was also staring at him confused. Kang-Dae slammed the paper in his chest. He watched as Jung-Soo’s eyes widen as he read it.
“We have to go now,” he declared. Now understanding his panic Jung-Soo ordered the men to pack up quickly.
“Now!” Kang-Dae roared.
This got them moving. Everyone gathered their things. Kang-Dae was the first on his horse. He didn’t even care if he left his men behind. The only thing on his mind was getting to Serenity.
***
They stopped for the night at the insistence of Jae-Hwa. Serenity didn't want to waste any more time, but she gave in. Kang-Dae was at least two days in the opposite direction so she had time before he would even begin to realize what she had done. They set up camp not far from the road. It was odd seeing someone as dainty as Jae-Hwa sitting on the ground even with the various blankets she had under her. Serenity wasn't in the mood to sleep so she sat up staring at the fire. Arezoo stood not far keeping watch.
“What is the real reason you wished to join me on my journey home?” Jae-Hwa asked.
“Why did you decide to go home in the first place?” Serenity countered. She was quiet at first, the light of the fire dancing across her face.
“I finally realized the truth,” she finally spoke.
“What truth?”
“From the time that I could talk, I was told who I was, what I wanted, and who I was going to be. All my thoughts, wishes, dreams, they had never been my own. The king helped me realize, in his own way, that I do not know who I am.”
This was not something Serenity had expected would ever come out of Jae-Hwa’s mouth. “The person who I was trying to be, was only causing myself and others pain. I no longer wish to live my life that way. I am going home because I am hoping I can discover myself. As much as I do not know about who I am, I know for certain I will not find her in the palace.”
Serenity gave her a thoughtful look. She sounded genuine. Serenity applauded her growth knowing very few people ever reevaluated themselves and made the decision to change. “I hope you find her.” Jae-Hwa smiled.
“Me too.”
The sounds of the forest comforted them. “You are very fortunate,” Serenity raised her brow.
“Because I’m queen?” Jae-Hwa shook her head.
“The King’s love for you is obvious.” Serenity suddenly became interested in the fire in front of her. “With so much against you, Satori, Kyril, my father, me,” she added remorsefully. “His love for you would not dim. Not everyone will experience such devotion.” The pain in her heart grew listening to her words. The irony of the woman who repeatedly tried to steal her husband from her, unwittingly making her feel even more guilty for leaving him was not lost on Serenity. Serenity excused herself before she fell apart in front of her.
She leaned against the tree letting the tears flow freely. Arezoo came up behind her a handkerchief in hand. She accepted it with a soft thank you. Arezoo tapped her on the shoulder to get her to look at her. Without words, she conveyed exactly what she wanted to ask her. Reading her perfectly she shook her head. “I’m going home,” she said firmly. Arezoo looked a bit unsure but in the end, she nodded and walked back to camp helping her onto her pallet. Tomorrow, one way or another, she would disappear leaving everything behind.
Chapter Sixty
Serenity and company arrived at the lake by nightfall. The moon was just as big and bright as that meaningful night beneath the stars with Kang-Dae. She swallowed the lump in her throat that came about just thinking of him. As planned, Yoon was at the carriage telling Jae-Hwa to continue, claiming they’d catch up. She and her men left and the rest of them, Serenity, Arezoo, Yoon, and one of his men, stayed behind.
As they got closer to their destination Arezoo made everyone stop. She must have seen something in the distance because she motioned for them to be quiet and moved off to the road. They quietly went into the trees and dismounted.
“What is it?” Serenity asked.
“They are waiting for us.” Eyes wide, Serenity turned her gaze forward, she squinted in an attempt to see through the darkness. She didn't see anything but as she listened closely, there was the unmistakable sounds of shuffling feet and murmuring voices.
“What are they doing here?” Yoon asked his face tight. Serenity and Arezoo shared a look. ‘Amoli.’ They both knew it at the same time. She'd been so distant and shady before they left. “What do we do?” Yoon asked desperately not liking to see this opportunity turning to dust in front of him. Serenity thought about her choices. They had no way of knowing how many of them it was, so fighting through was not a viable option. She thought hard trying to recall the layout of the lake. There was a ridge overlooking that was directly above it. It may be her only chance.
“We'll go around and climb up.” Realizing what she had planned Arezoo stopped her with a hand.
“You can't know you can jump from that height and survive.”
“I will. It's going to work. I won't even touch the bottom.” Arezoo looked apprehensive. But Serenity didn't give her time to object and went in search of a way up.
Kang-Dae raced his horse down the road refusing to allow it to slow even for a second. His men struggled to keep up behind him. He moved like a desperate man, fearing he was already too late. In the back of his mind, he wondered how long she’d been planning this. Memories of their last day together surfaced. She had been saying goodbye and he didn’t even realize it. He pushed his horse harder.
Arriving at the lake, he was surprised to see his mother's men stationed there. She must have been warned just like he was. He approached one of them. “Has there been a sighting?”
“No, my King,” the soldier answered.
“Keep an eye out. They cannot get through!”
“Yes, my King.”
Kang-Dae searched around on his own not trusting anyone else’s eyes. He couldn't rely on these men. Serenity was determined. She wouldn't let them deter her. If she planned all of this she was not about to just give up. His eyes went to the sky. The moon shone bright, giving off significant light. As his eyes lowered, his gaze fell upon the ridge. “Is anyone up there?” He asked pointing up.
“No, my King.”
Kang-Dae took off for it, Jung-Soo following closely behind him.
Chapter Sixty-One
Serenity took Arezoo’s hand as she helped her up the rocky ridge. The climb hadn’t been easy especially in the dark. Her foot slipped more than once, but thankfully Arezoo had been there each time. She had no idea how Yoon was coping with
the climb but didn't care. She didn't know why he insisted on accompanying them this far.
Serenity’s heart was pounding once they made it to the top. She peeked over and felt a wave of dizziness hit her. Jumping made the ordeal 100 times scarier. She stood there staring off the ridge. Now that she was here and there was nothing in her path, her trepidation was at an all-time high. This was the moment of truth. She was either about to go home or to her death. She took a closer look, careful not to be seen by the men at the bottom.
“Serenity!” Kang-Dae’s voice rang out. Serenity's heart jumped and she spun around. Arezoo had already taken in a protective stance in front of her. Yoon moved off to the side, but his man moved closer to Serenity. Kang-Dae approached panic all over his face. As he came forward Arezoo and Serenity took a step closer to the edge.
“Stop,” she threatened. He froze.
“Wait!” he said. “we can talk about this.”
“I'm sorry, but I have to go,” she told him, taking another step back.