She rolled her eyes. “My delightful parents, ladies and gentlemen.” She shook her head dismissively. “Are your parents as bad as mine?”
I inhaled sharply, a knee-jerk reaction to being asked about my parents. When I’d entered the room, I’d made the conscious decision to keep the conversation light and avoid divulging anything too deep. Not until Elena was better.
She seemed to pick up on my mood shift. “Sorry if that’s a bad topic.” She needed to feel comfortable around me. We were supposed to be friends, after all.
“No, it’s fine.” I pushed through the discomfort. “My mum is a complete headache and tries to get involved in my life constantly. You think an Italian mother is hard work? Try dealing with an Irish mammy. No is not in her vocabulary. But she’s always been there for me no matter how many times I’ve messed up. She’s pretty great. I don’t know what I would do without her.”
I wanted to mention my dad. He was an important part of my life before he passed away recently, but my emotions were already on the verge of collapse. I took the safer option and shut my mouth instead.
“Sounds like you’ve a close relationship with her.” Elena smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Mainly because she had no idea what a happy relationship with a parent looked like. “Has your shift just started?”
“Just ending.” I welcomed the change in topic, rubbing my face.
“You look tired.”
“It’s been a long week.”
“Tell me about it,” she quipped. “Any plans for a wild Saturday night in 2018? Still so weird that it’s 2018.”
“I have a very special and perhaps sexy date tonight.” Elena raised a brow. “Yes, with the on-call room. I think things could end very well.”
She played along. “Do you think you two will go all the way tonight?”
“Well, between being paged by interns unable to place a catheter and patients trying to die, I’ll be lucky if I get more than forty-five minutes of sleep. Besides, the on-call room is such a tease.”
She giggled, and it was like music to my ears. “But what would your husband say?” She continued the joke, but the change in my facial expression must have caused her to recant. “Oh, sorry, the wedding band. I thought you were married,” she said as I looked down at my hand. I usually removed my wedding band when working, but today, it had escaped me. “Sorry for assuming.”
“Don’t worry about it, and please, stop apologising. You can ask me anything you like.” I smiled, but the tension remained. I changed the direction of conversation to a lighter topic. “How are you feeling?”
“A little sick of people asking me that. But I guess it comes with the territory of being stuck in hospital. My head is still sore, but Greg, I mean, Dr Hall said that will likely continue for a while.”
“You can call him Greg. I think he prefers it. So no dizzy or fainting spells?”
She shook her head, “Just some strong symptoms of mind-numbing boredom.”
I chuckled. “Hospitals are like that. It’s how we get people to leave. A similar technique they use for prison. So let’s say you weren’t imprisoned. What would you be doing right now?” I asked as a small smile graced her lips.
“Eating pizza, drinking wine, and watching a horror classic.”
“With Hannibal Lecter?” I rolled my eyes.
“You read my mind.”
“You’re such a freak.”
“It’s one of the best films ever made,” she argued. “Who doesn’t want to watch Anthony Hopkins lust over fava beans?”
“Most people,” I said. “You love those thrillers, even if you don’t get a chance to watch them as much anymore.”
She tilted her head at my response, and I realised I’d shared too much.
“That’s right, you’ve a son.” My eyes connected with hers, hopeful. “Cat showed me a picture.”
“Right.” I nodded frantically and tried to wipe the optimism from my face. “Yeah, Jamie. He’s quite the handful, so scary movies are left to after the watershed. But he’s a sweet kid.” She smiled warmly at me, prompting me to say something deeper. “He’s really looking forward to seeing you again.”
Her eyes lit up, and at that moment, I felt hopeful for the first time in almost a week of gloom. Although Elena didn’t remember me, that might not be the case for Jamie. There was something in her expression, an excitement about seeing him. Perhaps an emotional bond to her son even if she couldn’t remember him. That thought created optimism. He could be the beacon of light that would bring back her memories.
Chapter Four
Over the last couple of weeks, I’d had the short-term memory of a goldfish. My life consisted of seeing the same handful of people on a loop, where they’d ask me the same questions in the same hospital room.
Rehab was a continuous uphill battle which took dedication. At least, that was the bullshit my physio doctor spouted. The first couple of days were what can only be described as some form of torture. I was in agony and fatigued, and the doctor sadistically offered words of encouragement, like that would help. But alas, it was what I deserved for playing chicken with traffic.
Rehab meant I got to leave my room, though, out of the pit of despair I’d been trapped in for the last two weeks. My head pounded when I used too much energy, and then the doctors raised the stakes by weaning me off my pain medication. Eventually, each step became easier, and this morning, I was finally signed off to be discharged. I had check-ups every week for the next six weeks to track my progress, but as Cat put it, I would have a doctor for a roommate keeping an eye on me.
Along with Cat, my parents, and nieces, Jax had also called by to visit a few times. It seemed strange that I would soon be living with her. A stranger. A pleasant stranger but a stranger nonetheless. However, I’d take somewhat awkward conversations with Jax any day over the tedious exchanges with my parents.
They complained about the nurses, the coffee, the cafeteria “slop,” the lack of medical expertise, and “third-world” hospital beds. It took very little convincing from me to encourage them to return to Sicily before my release. I was flattered they had flown to London after my accident, but the older they’d gotten, the harder they were to please, and I saw the physical strain it was having on my sister and brother-in-law.
“I just dropped them at the airport.” Cat breathed relief down her end of the phone. “I can literally taste freedom.”
“I bet, and this is coming from a girl about to be released from hospital.” I packed a few of my belongings while we talked.
“You’re released tonight? I thought it was tomorrow. I wanted to be there when you got out.”
“It’s not prison, Cat. Besides, you’ve had to host Mama and Papa for the last week, which I’m sure felt like prison, so you’re taking a night off. Go home, order takeout and open a bottle of wine.” She tried to object, but I cut her off. “This is not a request, it’s an order. You’ve been running around for me for weeks, but that’s over now.” At that moment, Jax walked into my room with a large bouquet of flowers. I felt a blush creep onto my face that I wasn’t expecting. “Besides, I have an escort home, so don’t worry. Brunch tomorrow? I’ll give you a call if I can ever figure out how to dial a phone with no buttons.” I said my good-byes with my eyes glued to the flowers.
“Happy discharge,” Jax said before grimacing. “That sounded a lot less gross in my head.” With a small head tilt, she handed me the flowers.
“You didn’t have to do that. Thank you.” I smiled back and studied the flowers closely. “I love sunflowers.”
She returned a small smile. “All set to go?” I nodded as I grabbed one of my bags, and Jax grabbed the other without invitation, almost as if it was second nature.
I signed a couple of papers and said my farewells to the nurses who worked on my floor before I left the building. The cold bite in the air stung as we set out into the chilly night. It was mid-autumn, but I wasn’t expecting it to be quite so cold. It had never looked th
is frosty from the safety of my hospital room window. Once in Jax’s car, I quickly found the heating and turned it on full blast, surprising her when she turned on the engine.
“Make yourself at home, why don’t you?” she said with a chuckle.
“It’s freezing.”
“It’s twelve degrees Celsius.”
“More like minus twelve,” I mumbled as I wrapped my arms around myself.
Jax reached behind me and offered a cardigan from the back seat. I quickly wrapped it around me, and without intending, I took in a deep breath; the smell of sandalwood filled my senses. The distinct smell, not unfamiliar, caused my mind to cloud over, transporting me to a past memory.
It was like a flashback, a gateway to my forgotten past. I was in this same car, but I was comfortably wearing the cardigan rather than using it for warmth, and I wasn’t in the passenger seat. I was driving with the windows down as a cool, summery breeze rustled my long hair, causing it to dance around my face. Adjusting my sunglasses, I turned to the person beside me with a contented smile, but I couldn’t make out who it was. Where I was driving to or from didn’t seem important. The feeling of complete happiness filled my body and warmed my soul. I was free. A hand laced mine on my knee, and everything felt right.
A second later, I was released from the blissful flashback.
“Is this mine?” I asked, causing Jax to hit the brakes slightly.
“Why do you think that?”
“It just feels very familiar.” She stifled a smile as she looked straight ahead. “What?” I asked as she tried to hide her smile even more. “Jax.”
“All right, all right. It’s not yours, but you have borrowed it on occasion. And by on occasion, I mean, you take it all the time.”
“Oh, it’s yours?” We must have been super close if I took her clothes—I didn’t even do that with my friends in college. The familiarity with the cardigan was both relieving and concerning. “Is home far?” I continued to stealthily inhale the cardigan in the hope that it would spark more memories.
“Not at all. We passed it a couple of minutes ago. I just have to make a stop elsewhere first, if that’s okay.” I nodded. “Cool. I was going to get a pizza for me and Jamie, if you’d like to have dinner with us too?” she asked quietly as she pulled up outside of a row of grand town houses along a quiet street.
“Sure.”
She disappeared from the car and went across the road. She waited a few minutes after knocking on a large red door before it opened, and an older woman ushered her inside. She emerged a moment later carrying a little boy who slept soundly. The older woman watched from the doorstep with a wistful smile and her grey hair tied neatly in a bun.
I jumped out of the car as Jax approached, and helped her place him in the back seat, something which felt natural, and Jax didn’t seem to think it out of the ordinary. Maybe Dr Hall was right, getting back to my new life would rejog my memory.
Jax closed the door and waved at the old woman before making her way to the driver side again. I gave a small smile as well to the woman, who watched me closely with curious eyes, a similar hesitance I’d witnessed with Jax.
“Is that your mum?”
“Yeah, she watches Jamie sometimes. She said he’s been passed out for a while. I’m not really surprised,” Jax whispered as she started the car. “He didn’t sleep much last night.” She began driving again.
“Is he not a great sleeper?” I looked over my shoulder at the cutest little boy sleeping in his school uniform.
“He’s usually fine. I think he was just excited.”
“Excited? Excited to see me?”
Jax nodded sheepishly before it was time for another stop. As she hopped out of the car, the door slammed, stirring Jamie.
“Mummy?”
I turned to see him barely open his eyes. “Hey, your mummy has just gone to get pizza. She will be back soon.” I smiled as his little eyes fluttered closed again.
“I missed you.” Three tiny words, no more than a whisper, echoed in the still car. The words stirred something in me that caused my stomach to lurch and limbs to feel shaky. He’d missed me. Me? I was a combination of humbled, touched, surprised, and concerned all at once.
* * *
Jax
“This is why I have dreams about building a snowman.” Elena laughed as the movie credits began to roll. “Those kids next door in the hospital played this movie every damn day.”
“Kids today love Frozen. Jamie makes me watch it at least twice a week,” I replied as I checked between us and found him clutching my side, fast asleep. “Looks like the excitement was a little too much for him. How long do you think he’s been out cold?”
“Judging by the drool, I’d say a while.” I followed her gaze and rolled my eyes at the wet patch on my side. “Do you need help?” she asked as I began to lift him.
I shook my head but smiled at her eagerness to help, just like old times.
She’d surprised me multiple times this evening. From the second I picked her up from the hospital, little things had jogged her memory, not the complete picture, of course, but a little snippet of her previous life. When she’d asked about my old cardigan, I had to laugh. I’d had it since university, and she used to always steal it. In fact, she had it on her again as she moved into the kitchen to pour another glass of wine.
“This wine is so good,” she’d murmured through mouthfuls of pepperoni pizza earlier this evening. “God, this pizza is the best.” She’d almost moaned.
As if I wasn’t going to pick up her favourite flowers, stock the fridge with her favourite wine, and buy her favourite takeout. She didn’t have a clue who I was, but I knew every like and dislike, preference, and pet peeve of hers. After putting Jamie down, I emerged into the living room again to find her back on the plush couch, surfing the channels with another glass of wine for both of us.
“I took the liberty of topping up,” she said as I took a seat next to her but kept a far enough distance so I wouldn’t slip into old habits.
Jamie had been my sole focus the second we got home, and any conversations throughout the evening had been tailored to the five-year-old, but now I was nervous. Particularly since this was our first time completely alone together, in our home, starting on a second bottle of wine. I found myself second-guessing everything, having to check myself before I did something wife-like.
“What do you usually watch on a Friday night?” she asked as she flicked through the channels.
“Whatever is on. Usually we’re…” I stuttered before correcting myself. “I’m watching a boxset, and so maybe I’ll watch an episode or two.”
“What are you watching right now?”
“Orange Is the New Black.”
“Never heard of it. Is it a fashion show?”
“Definitely not.” I chuckled. “It’s a show about a female prison.”
“Sounds dreary.” She cocked her brow at me. “I’ll have to give it a watch.” I nodded along with her, even though we’d already watched four seasons together. “Do you go out much?”
“Not really. I’d need to get a babysitter. It’s just a lot of hassle.”
“Where’s his dad?” Her question, as innocent as it was, caused me to panic internally as I tried to come up with an explanation.
“He’s not around.”
“Why?” she asked absentmindedly, staring at the TV, but then caught herself. “I’m sorry, that’s way too personal.” She jabbered on frantically as I watched a blush appear. “Next, I’ll be asking if you have a boyfriend.” She chuckled to herself before she took a glance at my wide-eyed expression. “I’m on a roll with these personal questions.”
“It’s okay, Elena.” I tried to calm her nervousness as her eyes danced anxiously around the room. This wasn’t the reaction I wanted. She should ask questions. I wanted to make her feel more comfortable. “Jamie’s dad just didn’t want to be a part of his life. Work was more important, and he never wanted to get to know him. Jami
e used to ask about him, but now he’s accepted it. As for a boyfriend, no. I don’t have the time, and even if I did, well, I’d still give a hard pass.” I took another swig of wine, spotting Elena’s bewilderment, which prompted me to elaborate. “Given that I’m gay and all.”
“Oh, I didn’t know. So no girlfriend then.”
She showed no signs of awkwardness as she pulled her eyes back to the television. My eyes stayed glued on her as I let a breath exhale slowly. No to the girlfriend part, but I could offer a wife that hadn’t a clue.
“Asshole,” Elena blurted out of nowhere.
“What?” I tried to follow her train of thought, but all I found was an inoffensive advert on the TV. “Not a fan of bleach?”
“Not the advert,” she teased. “I was thinking about your ex, Jamie’s dad.” She thought for a moment. “What kind of person wouldn’t want to be around that little boy?” she asked, as if it was the most ludicrous thing in the world. I gave a shrug as my response.
Although I was fully aware of what had happened between Elena and her ex-boyfriend, it was not my story to tell. How Jamie’s father had told Elena he wanted nothing to do with the baby. Elena and I hadn’t been friends very long before she’d fallen pregnant. At the time, she had still been trying to make things work with her ex-boyfriend, Tom. The same Tom Elena had asked for in the hospital. I’d never met the guy; he’d been too busy in Nottingham, sleeping with every paralegal in a short skirt. Elena used to travel to see him every second weekend until they’d finally decided to call it quits. Then she’d found out she was pregnant. Only years later had she filled me in on the horrible things he’d said to her, accusing her of cheating and claiming the baby wasn’t his. He’d even tried to pressure her into getting rid of it.
In the end, she’d left him and had decided to raise Jamie herself. She was the strongest woman I’d ever met. It was the thing I loved most about her. The reason I’d fallen in love with her. It was only during pregnancy that things between us had started to change. From then onward, we’d gravitated toward each other, even if Elena had to shut me out for a while to figure out who she was.
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