I got up from the bed and just when I opened the bedroom door, I heard loud voices coming from the hall.
"Please! Do it soon," came a female voice and voice was very familiar.
"Natasha! Please! I will talk to you later! You leave now!" Gautham shouted.
"Gautham! Please! I want you to marry me as early as possible!" she started again.
"Why are you in such a hurry?"
"I'm pregnant."
Chapter 48-Painful Revelations
Shakthi's POV
"Why are you in such a hurry?"
"I'm pregnant." What the fucking hell, pregnant?
"Are you sure?" Gautham said. His voice was hopeful, like he believed her.
Every cell of my body wanted to stand and listen to the conversation but I wouldn't be able to bare the pain.
I dragged my feet to the bathroom, defeated. I stripped off and turned the shower on and I let the water run over my naked body.
All his stories about Natasha were lies. He loved her and he was just using me.
'Stop, you barren wasteland! You aren't able to give him a baby and now you are using this Natasha fiasco just so that you can put all this blame on Gautham!'
Yea, I would never be able to give Gautham a baby when Natasha can. At the end of the day, I was a barren wasteland. Gautham still had feelings for her. Though he feels cheated, he still hadn't moved on. He would have never married me if he had known about my infertility. I still remember how sad he was when he told me that Natasha would never return to him when she regained her.
This baby will bring them closer. The baby will make him forget that he was cheated on. He was hopeful when he heard Natasha break the news. He was happy. He had the right to be a father and the baby hadn't done anything wrong to be in this world without a father.
I decided to finish my morning routine. I slipped into a pair of jeans and a simple top and I walked out of the bedroom. There was no sign of either Natasha or Gautham. I moved to the kitchen and there I found a note stuck on the refrigerator.
'Will be back soon. Don't skip your breakfast –G.'
I grabbed my phone and quickly dialed to my lawyer.
"Hello! Asha speaking," came my school friend's voice.
"Hi Asha! This is Shakthi."
"Hey! I am so sorry! I didn't see the caller ID," she said.
"No problem! I need a favor, Asha."
"Are you okay?"
"Not really! But I need you to do this for me."
"Yea, sure! What is it?"
"I need you to prepare the... the divorce papers" I said, holding my breath. A tear rolled down my cheeks.
"For whom?"
"For me and Gautham!"
"Why? I thought-"
"Please Asha! I don't have the time to explain. Can you please just bring them for me
"Okay, I will meet you in twenty minutes."
"Thanks," I said, hanging up then texting her the address.
I rushed to the bedroom, packed my stuff. I was going to get away from here and go somewhere he couldn’t find me.
The doorbell rang.
Oh God! Could it be Gautham?
I walked to the front door and looked in through the peephole. It was Asha! Thank God!
I opened the door and ushered her inside. She reluctantly handed me the divorce papers, and after trying to talk to me about the situation, I asked her to leave.
I sat on the floor with the divorce papers on the bed. I held the pen over the papers. My hands shivered and tears blurred my eyes.
The smile that only he was capable of bringing to my face would never return. I’d never see him sleeping. I’d never be able to listen to his sexy morning voice. I would never be able to run my fingers through his soft hair, and I’d never get to look into those beautiful eyes again.
My lifeless fingers scribbled my signature over the papers. I wiped my tears, folded the papers, slipped them inside a white envelope and placed it on the middle of the bed.
"Shakthi! You have to do this! You can't look back!" I told myself.
I wrote my final goodbye to him.
Hi Gautham,
You should have been wondering as to where this Shakthi has gone. Let me tell you, I can't do this anymore Gautham! I just can't! I can't pretend as if we are married happily when I am just pretending to be happy.
Yes Gautham! Our marriage was fake, our relationship was fake, every word that I said was forced out of me. It was never from my heart. Nothing in this marriage was true except for your money. I married you just for money and that is the truth.
I am in love with another man and I am not revealing his name. We needed money for him to start a company and that was why I married you. I basically used you as my credit card. But I just can't do this anymore. I can't live with a man whom I don't love. I can't sell my body to you every night, anymore. I despised every moment of it. But not anymore! This fake relationship has to come to an end. I have taken all the money from our locker. Don't search for it. I'm going and don't search for me or your money.
I was never yours,
Shakthi
P.S. The divorce papers are in the envelope with my signature on it.
AFTER 3 MONTHS
"Shakthi! You've got to check the delivery of the books before lunch," Rita shouted while on the ladder arranging books on the shelves.
"I am currently doing the exact same thing Rita," I said, checking the books to see if they have been delivered correctly.
I had been working as the librarian at 'Rise and Shine'. If I chose to work as an Auditor again, Gautham would trace me. So I thought that it would be better to stay away. Until now, there wasn't a single call from anyone so I was relieved that they hadn't found me. The only reason that he would trace me would be to get back his money. The letter that I left would have made him hate me so much. I had to take the money to make my story seem as real as possible. Even if he finds me to get his money back, I have nothing to give him because I had donated it to an orphanage in Chennai.
The owner of this library was an old lady and her name was Elizabeth. She was kind enough to hire me. I didn't earn much, but it was enough for me to pay the rent on my small apartment and to make my ends meet.
I and Rita have been the only ones to take care of the entire library and I loved my job. While I was depressed for a whole month after leaving Gautham, books were a welcome companion. They made me lose my mind and forget the bitter reality for a while.
"Are you done?" Rita's voice brought me back to reality. Her bright big eyes were always a breath of fresh air. She was shorter than me and had her black hair done in layers up to her shoulders. Even though she was in her late twenties, she was single. She was totally against the idea of marriage or relationships and had endless rants about them. She knew nothing about my past and she was decent enough to let me have my personal space.
"Almost," I said, arranging the stack of books neatly and getting up from my seat.
I switched off the heaters in the library and pulled my cardigan tightly over me, zipping it over my yellow t-shirt that I had paired with black jeans.
"Ready to leave?" I asked, taking my phone and purse.
As we stepped out of the library, the cold climate made me shiver. I knew that Yercaud was a cool place but not this cold. But somehow, I started getting used to this lovely hill station.
We had our lunch at Elizabeth's house. She treated us like daughters and whenever I saw her, it reminded me of my family. I missed them terribly. But I couldn't let anyone know that I was at Yercaud.
It was almost half past five when we closed the library. Rita lived just a few apartments away from mine. So we usually walked home together. As we walked, I saw a couple kissing in the garden opposite to our cottage. Every touch of Gautham's was etched onto my memory. I almost felt his strong grip on my wrist but I knew I was just hallucinating. I was sorry for every word that I wrote in that letter to Gautham. I missed him so much.
"Look! You are cryin
g again." Rita said.
"I am sorry,I..uh.. I just.."
"You need not apologize Shakthi! Just remember that everything happens for a reason," she said, hugging me.
I opened the door to my cottage and crashed lazily on the couch. I extended my hand for the remote of the heater and switched it on.
I removed my cardigan and moved to my kitchen. The cottage was small and just had a small hall with a compact kitchen and a little bedroom.
After drinking my hot cup of Milo, I pulled my laptop out. I opened Google and searched for Gautham's firm 'Sharp and Measure.' In the last three months, I Googled Gautham and his firm every day. I couldn't stop myself.
Sharp and Measure had grown and it was only due to his efficiency and hard work. But there was no change in his looks. He looked exactly the same, with his handsome features and intense eyes.
My fingers traced over his image on the laptop screen.
"I am sorry Gautham!" a whisper escaped my lips.
After a hot shower, I changed into my sweatpants and one of Gautham's t-shirts that I had taken when I had packed my suitcase. I had left all the clothes that he had presented me at Chennai, I needed something that belonged to him. So it was the irrational side of me that packed his black t-shirt. His cologne never left the t-shirt and it was intoxicating. I wore it only when I missed him terribly and today was one of those days.
I was done cooking my dinner. I settled on the couch and just when I had switched the television on, the doorbell rang.
It was probably Rita wanting to hang out.
I sighed and got up, walking to the door. I unlocked the front door and a pair of silvery grey eyes met mine.
Chapter 49-The Lost Souls
Shakthi's POV
I sighed and got up, walking to the door. I unlocked the front door and a pair of silvery grey eyes met mine.
"Shakthi!" his deep voice reverberated in my ears.
"Gautham!" I gasped.
His piercing eyes made my knees go weak. He was dressed in casual jeans and a grey button down shirt with the sleeves folded up to his elbows, making his taut muscles look prominent.
He had light stubble on his face, there was sadness in his eyes. His hair was a little dishelved which added a lot to his tiredness.
"What are you doing here?" I quickly put on an annoyed expression.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He raised his eyebrow, making my heart race.
"How did you find me?" I asked.
"I have my ways."
"Just get lost" I said, closing the door, but his strong arms stopped me.
"How dare you?" he spoke through his gritted teeth, opening the door wider.
"What are you doing?" I shouted.
"I'm taking what belongs to me," he said, entering the house and shutting the door behind him.
"But I don't have your money" I said
A humorless laugh escaped his lips. "Let me guess! Your lover took the money and ran away leaving you in a stupid cottage like this."
He really believed in the letter that I had left him. It hurt to see how much I had made him hate me.
"He didn't run away."
"Then where is he? Why are you alone in the house at this hour of the night?"
"It is none of your business!"
"Oh really!!" He pushed me against the wall.
I could feel his breath on my neck. His touch made me feel secure, I wanted to hug him, surrender in his arms and tell him that the entire letter was a lie.
"Let go of me Gautham!" I screeched. I didn't want him to let me go. I wanted to stay imprisoned in his arms forever.
"So you were just another whore, weren't you?"
"Don't you da-"
"Oh please! You sold your body for my money! Do you know what they call such a lady?"
"I don't give a damn! I can do anything for my lover," I said, struggling under his grip.
"You turned out just to be another gold digger in my life," he said. His words like a knife in the gut.
"Yes! Damn it yes! So what? Why won't you leave me in peace?"
He grew even more furious.
"You promised me that you would never leave me, remember?"
Finally managing to push him, I walked away, not wanting to face him.
But, his fingers glided over my arms.
"Did you really have to sell yourself to me Shakthi? I thought, there was something between us."
I wanted to close my ears and stop listening.
"There was nothing between us Gautham! Don't you get it? It was all just an act!"
"Just an act? My foot!" He walked in front of me and forced me to look into his eyes.
" I never loved you! I hated every moment, " I said hoping he would believe me.
He pulled me towards him, making my chest crash against his. I felt his lips touch the sensitive area behind my ear. He nibbled on it and I had to bite my lips in order to avoid the moan escaping my lips and my mind totally lost track of when my sweatpants reached the floor leaving my legs naked.
"Did you hate this Shakthi?" he whispered in my ears and slowly his tongue licked my earlobe, sending bolts of electricity through my body. I wasn't able to find it in me to answer him.
"Tell me Shakthi," he demanded. His voice was low and husky as his hand slid up my naked legs. Starting from my feet, his fingers slowly travelled behind my calf, to my thighs, making my knees buckle and his long fingers travelled up towards an area only he had touched me before.
"Answer me."
I opened my eyes to meet his and that was the mistake! His silvery grey ones stared right into my soul and as I opened my mouth, a soft gasp escaped my mouth. "N-no."
That was all that he needed to crash his lips against mine.
His fingers traced my features, like he was trying to memorize my face, our kiss, our moments together.
We kissed like long lost lovers. I was lost as our tongues danced.
My fingers raked through his soft and unruly hair and I pulled him towards me, making our bodies press harder. His tongue punished me but still I felt a moan escape my lips. His fingers which were resting on my thighs moved upwards and pulled my panties down.
I started to remove the buttons of his shirt. I wanted to feel him.
"Take it off."
He removed his and my fingers finally grazed his chiseled chest. A groan escaped his lips.
He carried me in his strong arms in bridal style and in no time I was on the bed with Gautham hovering over me.
He kissed my neck and left love bites everywhere. He kissed my collarbone and his fingers tugged the hem of my t-shirt. "You are wearing my t-shirt," he said.
"Mhmm," I moaned as he created another love bite.
And in that second my t-shirt was off my body and I was naked under him.
"I missed you, baby," he whispered and my heart swelled.
He teased the peaks of my breasts with his fingers and the slow desire that was stirring low in my belly was reaching its peak.
Soon his lips took the place of his fingers and I felt his teeth teasing one my peaks.
"Gautham," I moaned and my body arched.
"Just let go of yourself," he whispered and I decided to do exactly what he said. He gave equal attention to both of the peaks and by now I thought I would die from pleasure.
His fingers travelled over my skin and I wanted this to last forever.
He placed himself at my entrance and looked deep into my eyes and then he entered me in a soft yet punishing way.
"You are so tight!" he grunted as he started to thrust deep in me.
He moved slowly and I closed my eyes enjoying every motion.
"Open your eyes," he demanded and I willingly opened them to meet his intense ones. My nails pierced into his skin.
He moved faster and I was reaching my climax. "Faster, baby," I grunted.
Our bodies rocked in an erotic unison of love, desire and lust.
"Let it go Shakthi," he said and that was eno
ugh for me. We convulsed in pleasure and it was such a different feeling. Every time when we made love, I always used to close my eyes. I wouldn't be able to open my eyes at all. It was such a different connection the moment our eyes met when we were experiencing our release together. I never knew such feelings existed. It was not just my body that reached its peak, it was also my heart.
He stayed inside me as he lay nestled between my breasts. I played with his hair and his soft breath caressed my naked skin.
There was not a word exchanged between us. I knew that he was awake, he knew that I was awake but still it was just the sound of our breathing that filled the small room.
"Why did you have to leave me?" he asked, withdrawing from me and looking into my eyes.
"Why don't you catch some sleep?"
He sighed and fell back on the pillows and his eyes fluttered shut, taking him to a deep slumber.
Time flew by but I wanted it to stop forever. But a new day was already here to take Gautham away from me. He was still asleep while I was making my Milo and his coffee. I had to make up my mind to send him away.
Remember Shakthi! You are a barren wasteland.
I silently wiped away my tears and swallowed my hot Milo.
"You are still in my t-shirt."
"It isn't yours! It's mine," I said, forcing his cup of coffee into his hands.
He had slipped back into his boxers but his chest was naked.
"Keep lying to yourself Shakthi!"
"What the hell do you want Gautham? Why don't you leave me?"
"You want me to leave you alone even after what happened?" he asked with a devilish smirk playing on his lips.
"That was just a mistake," I said, looking away from his eyes.
A flash of hurt crossed his features and I immediately regretted it. But he recovered and held my chin, making me look into his eyes. "But your eyes tell me something else, honey" he said.
"Just leave me alone, will you," I said, pushing him away by his chest.
"I will once you return what's mine," he said so casually, sipping on his cup of coffee.
"I told you that I don't have the money!"
"Then I am not leaving!" he said, leaning on the kitchen counter.
"What is your fucking problem? Get the hell out of my house!"
I'm All Yours Page 23