“It’s not exactly a hardship,” I point out. His eyes drop to the bulge in the front of my pants.
“I should, um, return the favor, right?” he asks uncertainly.
“That’s generally considered polite in these situations,” I agree with amusement. “But why don’t we get out of here and go back to your place to finish our leftover Chinese food?” I suggest.
He blinks, looking around the room as if remembering for the first time that we’re not at home. The sounds of the party come back into focus.
“Do you think anyone heard me?” he asks, biting his bottom lip.
I snort a laugh. I’m pretty certain someone heard—he was pretty loud after all. But I have a feeling if he knows that, he’ll never leave this room again just so he won’t have to face anyone out there.
“It’s pretty loud out there; I think we’re fine,” I lie.
He sits up and slides off the bed, and I enjoy the view as he picks up each item of clothing off the floor and puts them back on.
Once we’re both decent, we slip out of the bedroom and go in search of Alex to let him know we’re leaving. He’s in the kitchen, flirting with someone else now, when he notices the two of us, and a sly smile crosses his lips.
“I thought you two left,” he says.
“We were um…talking,” Elijah stutters, his face going tomato red. If Alex didn’t hear us, Elijah would be giving us away right now.
“Talking, huh?” Alex asks, looking between the two of us with a grin. “I hope it was a mutually satisfying conversation.”
I didn’t think it was possible, but Elijah gets even redder.
“Thanks for having us. I’m sure we’ll cross paths again,” I offer to help take the spotlight off Elijah.
“I hope so,” Alex agrees.
Chapter 14
Elijah
I don’t know what came over me at Alex’s, kissing Pax like I did, completely uninhibited and without pause. There’s a theory in quantum mechanics that anything that can happen, will happen. That’s the only thing I can chalk my behavior up to. But whatever it was that came over me, whether quantum mechanics or pure lust induced insanity, I’m immensely glad it did.
I unlock the door to my apartment, Pax at my back, my heart hammering wildly. What’s going to happen when he comes inside? Is this really just about food or is he going to expect more?
Of course he’s going to expect more, I scoff at myself. He’s experienced; I’m sure to him sex is no big deal. It shouldn’t be a big deal. It’s nothing more than simple biology, but it’s still a bit intimidating.
Once we’re inside, Pax skirts around me and heads right for my refrigerator, pulling out the cartons of uneaten Chinese food.
“I’m starving. I don’t know what I was thinking deciding to skip dinner earlier,” he says, bringing the cartons over to the couch like I did earlier, not bothering to reheat them.
I take the carton he offers me and slide down onto the couch. I can’t stop replaying what happened earlier, wondering if he meant it when he said we could keep doing this or if he’s going to say it was a mistake again.
I eat a few bites of my chicken fried rice, eyeing his sweet and sour chicken with interest.
“You want a piece?” he offers, holding his fork out with half piece of chicken on it, the other half already bitten off. I eye it uneasily, and he rolls his eyes at me. “We’re having sex; sharing a bite of chicken isn’t that big of a deal.”
“Technically, we’re not having sex,” I argue, reaching out and pulling the piece of chicken off his fork and popping it into my mouth anyway.
“Technically, we’re making each other come,” Pax corrects, mimicking my argument. “Fucking isn’t the only way to have sex. I had a boyfriend who had never done anal and didn’t want to. Trust me, we still had plenty of sex.”
“A boyfriend?” I repeat. Did he just tell me like an hour ago that he doesn’t date? Or did he only mean he wouldn’t ever want to date me?
“Back in college,” he explains. “It didn’t end so well. One of the many reasons I know I’m not cut out to be anyone’s boyfriend.”
“Oh.” I take another bite of my rice, chewing it more slowly than necessary while I try to think of a more intelligent response than oh.
An awkward silence stretches between us for several long seconds before Pax breaks it.
“If you’ve changed your mind about the casual thing, it’s cool.”
“No,” I say quickly, nearly dropping my fork in my rush to respond. “No, I haven’t changed my mind.”
He looks skeptical as he picks at his food, seeming less interested in it now than he was before.
“These are all your firsts, Einstein. That’s special for a lot of people. You might regret this down the road, once things have fizzled out between us.”
“Listen, it’s not just about you not wanting a boyfriend. I don’t know the first thing about dating, and at this point, I need to focus on school, not on trying to figure that kind of thing out. This is perfect. I can finally enjoy the things I’ve missed out on without it getting complicated.”
“You’re sure?” he checks once more. A smile twitches on my lips, and I set my food carton on the coffee table, reaching over and taking his out of his hand and doing the same. Then, summoning that lusty, shameless quantum mechanics version of Elijah, I climb onto Pax’s lap.
His worried expression slowly morphs into a soft smile, his hands coming to rest on my hips. His fingers dig into my waist before he slips his hands up the back of my shirt. I push my glasses up my nose, gather my courage, and press my lips to his. His mouth is pliant under mine, yielding easily, falling into a rhythm as I suck his bottom lip between mine and then slip my tongue inside.
A moan rumbles from his chest against mine, his cock growing hard, pressing against me through our jeans. I wiggle against the solid bulge, and he makes another deep sound against my lips. A powerful feeling surges through me, and I understand for the first time what Theo meant when he told me once that he never felt sexier than when he’s on his knees for a guy. I get it, and I want it so badly. I want to drive Pax crazy. I want to make him feel so good he forgets everyone else in the world even exists.
But I’m not sure I should attempt to reciprocate in the same way until I’ve had the chance to do a little research—so I know what I’m doing. In the meantime, maybe there’s something else I can do?
I move my hands from where they’re looped around his neck and slide them down to his chest, my heart beating faster as nerves dance along my skin. Our lips keep moving against each other, hot and wet, my pulse roaring in my ears so loudly it nearly drowns out the small sounds of pleasure that are muffled by our kiss. Even after what Pax did at Alex’s, I’m so hard my cock is throbbing painfully against my zipper.
I move my hand downward little by little, trembling the closer I get to my goal. Through his shirt I can feel the heat of his skin, and it turns my own body temperature up several degrees until I feel like I might burst into flames at any moment.
When my fingertips graze the rough fabric of his jeans, my heart jumps into my throat. I know we’ve been naked together already, but so far, Pax has been the one taking the lead. He was in charge of making it good; I’m not so sure I’m up to the task. I want to try though. I want to be the one who makes him shake and groan and sweat and cum. The thought spikes my temperature another few degrees, my cock pulsing out wet, sticky precum.
With shaky fingers, I undo the button of his jeans and drag the zipper down. His cock presses forward, no longer trapped behind the unforgiving material, his boxers tented by his arousal. I cup my hand around him through his underwear, feeling the heat just like last time. My memory didn’t do him much justice, his cock so big I don’t know if I could hold it all in even two hands. How this thing is ever supposed to fit inside any part of me seems like a feat of engineering I should really take some time to understand the mechanics of.
Pax groans again, pull
ing his mouth away from mine and tilting his head back against the couch, his eyes closed and his lips damp and parted as he lets out another gasp, my hand moving up and down his shaft, testing different amounts of pressure to see what result they yield. I wasn’t wrong, it seems; there’s certainly an experimental aspect to sex I hadn’t expected before.
Unsatisfied with the feeling of fabric against my palm, I slip my hand past the waistband of his underwear so I can touch him skin to skin.
“Jesus, Elijah,” he gasps as I wrap my fingers around the base of his cock and stroke upward. He grabs the back of my neck and pulls me closer again, pressing his forehead to mine as he pants out hot, heavy breaths with each circuit of my hand up and down his length. It occurs to me after a minute that it might feel better if there wasn’t quite as much friction. I pull my hand out of his underwear and lift it to my mouth, darting my tongue out without giving it a second thought and licking my palm until it’s slick with my saliva, and then thrusting it back into his boxers.
The animalistic sound that tears from his throat when I start to jerk him again makes my chest swell with pride. I’m doing it; I’m making him feel good. His hips twitch as he thrusts up into my hand, meeting each of my strokes, his chest rising and falling rapidly with his ragged breaths.
“So good, baby, so fucking good,” he praises on a groan.
Beads of sweat trickle down my back, my own breaths just as heavy and broken as his. I can feel the pulse of his heartbeat in his cock, pounding harder with each tug of my hand. Feeling bold, I slip my other hand into his underwear as well, using it to cup his balls, already tight against his body. The proof of his nearing orgasm sends another thrill through my body. He spreads his legs and grunts, biting down on his bottom lip as I roll his balls in my palm.
“I want to make you come so badly,” I groan, jerking him faster, bending my face forward into the crook of his neck and licking up a bead of sweat, savoring the salty burst against my tongue. Is that what his cum will taste like? Is it salty or bitter? Will I like the taste? Just the thought of his release filling my mouth makes my own cock pulse and throb. I whimper and suck on his skin, licking and biting as he starts to tremble beneath me.
“Please come,” I beg, sounding more desperate than he does. “Please, please, please,” I gasp, need building in the pit of my stomach as his erection swells in my hand, growing somehow even stiffer than it was before, a deep growl tearing from his throat as he thrusts harder into my hand. Then, I feel the pulse of his orgasm inside my palm, his warm, sticky release dripping down over my hand as I continue to stroke him. His body shudders as his orgasm wracks him, and I swear I can feel every throb of pleasure deep in the pit of my stomach too, radiating over my aching cock, tightening my balls.
Oh, god.
I groan with a mixture of surprise and embarrassment as my own orgasm rocks me, cum filling my underwear without a single finger on my cock. My head falls against Pax’s shoulder as we both ride out our pleasure.
When his cock stops pulsing, I unwrap my hand from around it, his seed dripping from my fingers and down the back of my hand. I don’t even think—I lift it to my mouth and drag my tongue through the mess, tasting another man’s cum for the first time. It is salty, and a little bitter, but not unpleasant. And the heat in his eyes as he watches me lick my hand clean somehow makes it taste even better.
“Fucking hell, Einstein, you’ve gotta be trying to kill me.”
“Does that mean it was good?”
A rough laugh rumbles past his lips. “Better than good.”
“Good. I…um…I have to…uh…I’ll be right back.” I climb off his lap, the cum soaking my underwear already getting cold and uncomfortable, not to mention the tug as it clumps in my pubic hair. Not a winning combination.
“Wait,” Pax grabs my arm, his eyes dancing with amusement and something else, something hot. “Did you come in your pants just from getting me off?” he asks, his voice low and gravelly. My first instinct is to deny it, to try to hide my embarrassment, but the expression on his face changes my mind.
I nod, my face heating. “It was so hot; I couldn’t help it,” I say, pushing my glasses up my nose as they start to slip.
He groans, grabbing the front of my shirt and yanking me down so he can kiss me one more time, his lips rough and commanding, the kiss fast and hot.
“You’re hot,” he murmurs against my mouth before letting me go.
I’m hot? That can’t be right, but I’m not about to argue. Maybe the orgasm scrambled his brain or something.
I shuffle to the bathroom to get myself cleaned up, and when I get back to the living room, he’s still there, and it doesn’t look like he has any immediate plans to go anywhere—his feet up on the coffee table, a movie cued up on the TV. Warmth floods my body. I don’t care how or when this fizzles out, I’m going to enjoy the flame as long as I can.
Chapter 15
Elijah
I’ve read the same sentence in my Solid Mechanics textbook at least three times, and it’s not that it was difficult to comprehend. In fact, it was fairly straightforward. The problem is ever since last weekend I can’t focus without getting caught up on perfectly innocent phrases like body forces. I know it means gravitational forces or Lorentz force, but all I can think about is Pax’s body on top of mine, the thrust of his hips, the impossible vacuum formed by his lips around my cock, the acceleration of my heart rate when he touches me. Those are the body forces I’m currently interested in, and I feel like I’m losing my mind.
I shove my textbook aside and reach for my phone. There are no missed messages from Pax, but we’ve been in touch all week so I’m not reading into it…at least not much.
In all the chatting we’ve done this week, he hasn’t mentioned what he has in mind for this upcoming weekend, and I haven’t asked. In truth, my mind has been entirely focused on the physical aspect of what we might do, and that’s something I’m not sure I can ask him at this point without bursting into flames. That doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it all on my own though.
I’ve spent loooong nights thinking of almost nothing else. The problem is, I’m still a bit in the dark about what kinds of things men do together, aside from the obvious. Are there more things like we did the first night that I’ve never thought of? Maybe it seems like a stupid question, even for a virgin, and Theo has always told me porn could be educational, so it’s really my own fault for being so clueless. I tried to enjoy porn. When I was a teenager, most of my peers, including Theo, talked of little else. But I never found much enjoyment in it. I found the acting to be awkward, and I never could manage to get over the fear of getting caught watching it. Although, knowing my parents, the worst they would’ve done would’ve been to have a far too graphic talk with me about safe sex practices. I shudder at the thought.
Even if I don’t know some of the more…creative things Pax might want to do with me, I do know that I desperately want to try being on the other end of what we did last weekend. My cock tingles at the thought of being on my knees with Pax’s erection in my mouth. My heart beats faster, and heat blooms in my stomach as I imagine how he might moan, the way it would feel for his fingers to thread through my hair and tug as his pleasure mounts. I want to make him feel as good as he made me feel…no, I want to make him feel even better. I want to be the best he’s ever had. As ludicrous as the desire is, it fills me with a longing so intense, I can hardly breathe.
I’m not delusional; I’m sure I’ll be terrible my first time. But maybe if I could find some way to practice or get some tips beforehand, it would help. I click to open my internet browser and type in “tips for giving a blowjob”. I consider for a moment whether blowjob is one word or two, before deciding it shouldn’t matter and pressing the enter button to initiate the search. I’m hit with a wealth of articles and what appear to be porn. Feeling a little intimidated, I almost close the tab and forget the line of thought altogether. It’s probably not the kind of thing you can learn
by reading anyway. But the title of an article grabs my attention and keeps me from chickening out—Blow His Mind: Ten Easy Tips For The Best Head of His Life.
“That sounds promising,” I murmur to myself, clicking on the article. I read through the list, feeling my despair grow as I wonder how I’m going to be able to do so many different things at once—suck, swallow so I don’t gag, flick my tongue along his tip, use my hand to cup his balls…it’s like the Bop It game from hell.
At the end of the article, there’s a video of an extremely peppy girl going over the same instructions written in the article, but this time there are props. No, not a penis, thankfully. She holds up a banana, declaring it an excellent way to practice before you’re ready for the real thing.
I glance over at the bunch of ripe bananas on the counter and eye them cautiously. It almost feels like I’m on some kind of prank show where as soon as I start practicing fellating a banana, someone’s going to pop out with a camera. I shudder at the thought, glancing around my tiny apartment with paranoia to assure myself that no one’s here, and no one will know if I practice on a banana. Well, Pax might know, but that’ll be because I’ll be giving him the best head of his life, if the article is to be believed. With a steely resolve, I reach for one of the bananas and grasp it in my hand.
“I can totally do this,” I say out loud into the empty apartment, feeling no more stupid about that than about the fact that I’m about to get to third base with a piece of fruit.
Propping my phone up so I can watch it hands free, I start the video over, this time with my own prop at the ready.
“What most people don’t realize is that a great blowjob starts before it’s even in your mouth. Never underestimate the power of teasing before you go in for the kill,” she advises and then proceeds to demonstrate running her tongue along the fruit, using different speeds, pressure, and strokes.
Feeling like a complete idiot, I flick my tongue out and run it along the tip of the banana. “This is pointless.” I stop the video and put the banana down. My phone vibrates in my hand as I close out of the website, a text from Pax popping up along the top.
Rocket Science Page 10