For a long moment there was silence, then a bare whisper, “I cannot say.”
He whirled, took three steps to the half wall of the nearest stall, and slammed it with his fist, causing both Caroline and Olivia to jump. “She can’t say,” he cried.
“There’s no need to terrorize her, Joshua,” Caroline said softly.
Now he spun on her, so angry he could hardly speak. “Is that what it is? Because I want to know the truth, I’m terrorizing her?”
“You’re frightening her, Joshua, can’t you see that?”
He turned, ready to snarl out an answer, and then he saw the fear on his daughter’s face and felt ashamed. He moved closer, his face softening now. “Livvy,” he pleaded. “Don’t you understand? I’m trying to protect you. I don’t want anything awful happening to you.”
Her eyes flooded with relief. “I know, Papa, but it wasn’t what you think. It wasn’t anything bad.”
“Did Joseph speak to you about the possibility of marrying Brigham Young or Heber Kimball?” he asked.
It was like being slapped in the face again and again. Caroline couldn’t believe it. This was more than just knowing about Olivia’s trip to see Joseph. He knew every word that had transpired.
“I can’t say, Papa,” Livvy whispered.
Now his face went cold. Very quietly, he said, “I see. And did Joseph suggest that you pray about this so you would have faith enough to live it when you’re asked to?”
She looked away. Caroline jumped in. “Joshua, I don’t know who told you all of this, but they’ve twisted it all around. It’s not what—”
He whirled like a bull, his head weaving, his chin down. “No, Caroline. You stay out of this! This is my daughter and I’ll not have her duped into thinking this is from God.” He swung right back to Livvy. “Did he ask you to pray, Livvy?”
“It is not what you think, Papa,” Olivia said with a sob. “You make it sound ugly and awful, but it wasn’t like that.”
“Then tell me!” he pleaded. “I’m listening, Olivia. I’m trying to understand. If it was so beautiful and wonderful, why won’t you tell me what happened?”
Her head was down now. Tears were streaming down her face. She didn’t answer.
“I see,” he finally said, totally wearied now. “Just one last question, then. Did Joseph Smith take you in his arms and kiss you?”
Olivia’s head came up with a violent jerk. “No!” Then remembrance came rushing back and horror filled her eyes. “He hugged me, Papa. That was all. He kissed the top of—”
“You don’t have to lie, Olivia,” he said, wanting to cry now. “Someone was there. Someone saw you!”
There was one tortured glance at her mother, and then Olivia’s body twisted in a racking sob. She whirled and plunged out the barn door, hugging herself as though she were in unbearable pain.
Joshua watched the door shut behind her. He didn’t turn around to meet Caroline’s eyes.
“I don’t know who told you all of this, but they’re lying,” she said quietly.
“Caroline, we’re leaving tomorrow.”
She stiffened as if thrust through with a sword. “What?”
His voice was dull, lifeless, as though he were exhausted from a long journey. “We’ll have to go to Warsaw for now, until I can find a buyer for the freight yard here.”
One hand flew to her mouth and she bit down hard on her fingers. She felt her stomach lurch, the growing weight of the baby twisting inside her.
He went on as if he were dictating a letter to a secretary. “I know Warsaw is not ideal, but I’ve got to be close to Nauvoo until I can make the arrangements to sell the business. We’ll just give the house to my family. Then we’ll move to St. Louis. We could even go back to Georgia if you’d prefer.”
He turned. She was standing there, hand still to her mouth, staring at him from eyes sunken with shock.
“Don’t try to fight me on this, Caroline. You may get Will and Olivia to stay with you, but no court in the land will give you Charles and Savannah and the baby. Not with plural marriage on the table.”
There was no response.
“You’d better start packing some things. I’ll be at the office most of the day getting things ready there.” He turned and went out the side door, leaving Caroline to stand there alone, staring out at nothing. She held her arms across her body and began to rock very slowly back and forth as the tears started to flow.
Joseph and Hyrum heard the footsteps on the stairs, then the heavy thud of boots coming down the hallway toward the office. They were reviewing a copy of the political statement, talking about what needed to happen now. They both looked up and Hyrum started to rise to go to the door, but the latch turned and suddenly it was thrust open. Joshua Steed filled the frame.
Totally surprised, Joseph stood quickly. “Joshua, I heard that you had returned. I was—”
“Joseph, I know about your little talk with Olivia.”
His eyes widened.
“Oh,” Joshua flung at him, “she didn’t break her word to you. You’re really quite amazing, actually. It didn’t matter that her father wanted the truth behind all this. It didn’t make any difference when I asked her straight out what was true and what was not. She was a faithful little Mormon right to the last. She wouldn’t tell me anything.”
Joseph started around the desk. Hyrum was rooted to where he stood. “Joshua, I can explain. I—”
“No!” Joshua cut in sharply. “I’ve heard quite enough of your smooth talk and your silky ways. I’m here to warn you. You even so much as talk to my daughter again, and you’ll wish to heaven that the Missourians had gotten you instead of me. Do you understand me, Joseph?”
“I don’t know what you think went on between your daughter and me, but if you’ll sit down, I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
Joshua raised a hand, his forefinger jabbing at the air. “You heard me, Joseph. You stay away from my daughter. You leave my wife alone. Or you will rue the day you were ever born into this world.”
When Caroline opened the back door to her home and saw Nathan, her eyes widened with concern. He smiled reassuringly. “Caroline, I’d like to talk to you and Will and Olivia. Can you leave Charles with Savannah for a time?”
She looked frightened all of a sudden. “Joshua could come home anytime now and . . .” She didn’t have to finish that. It would be like setting a keg of black powder on an open fire if Joshua thought the family was trying to intervene at this stage.
“I know,” he said quickly. “I’ve got Matthew and Derek watching the road. They’ll give us plenty of warning if he decides to come.”
Will had come to the door to stand by his mother. “If he sees you talking to us,” he said, “it will be Jackson County all over again, Nathan.”
Nathan nodded and managed a smile. Without thinking, one hand stole up and he rubbed the scars beneath his shirt. “Most of the wounds are healed now. Besides, for all the outer fireworks, it isn’t the same Joshua now that it was then. I’m not trying to sneak around behind Joshua’s back, but I’d really like to talk to you before you have to leave.”
She hesitated, and then her head bobbed quickly. “All right. Knowing Joshua, I don’t expect him until late, after I’m asleep. Where do you want to meet?”
“In our barn.” He moved away, not waiting for her answer.
They sat almost in semidarkness, the only light coming from a small candle Nathan had brought from the house. Olivia’s eyes were still red and puffy. Will sat like death itself, staring at the ground, his mouth in a hard line. Caroline was still half-dazed. Nathan had brought a chair out for her and made her sit in it. She was only four months with child, but this time she was having a more difficult time of things, probably because she was now almost thirty-eight years old.
Nathan took a long, slow breath. His shoulders lifted and fell. Then he cleared his throat. He carried the family Bible in one hand. “I have no right to say what I’m about to say.
You’re already facing enough challenges.”
If he wanted to get through to them, he had just said the right thing. Their heads were up and they were watching him curiously now.
“You know,” he said thoughtfully, “each week we go to worship services and there we partake of the sacrament of the Lord. We partake of the emblems and promise that we will always remember the Savior. And we do this so we can always have his Spirit to be with us.”
They were still watching him, but no one spoke.
“Always remember him,” he said, almost to himself. “I’ve often wondered what that means. If I remember the Savior always, what difference would it make in how I react to an angry neighbor, a selfish friend—” He stopped, and then very softly added, “Or a bitter, angry father.” He met their startled gaze now, feeling a touch of shame that he was reminding them of the cost of discipleship when they were already paying such a terrible price for it. But he had no choice. He had thought long about this all afternoon.
“What difference would it make if I were to always remember the one who said that we should love our enemies and pray for them which despitefully use us? What difference would it make if I were to always remember the one who, even as the soldiers were driving great spikes through his hands, said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do’?”
The silence in the barn was total. No one moved as their eyes were held by Nathan’s. He sighed, feeling their pain. “I know that you have every right to feel betrayed, to feel that you have been wronged. I suppose when you three were baptized no one talked about this part of living the gospel, did they? No one told you that right at the toughest time of your whole lives, you’d still be expected to keep the covenants you’ve made with the Savior. Covenants like taking his name upon us. Always living his commandments. Forgiving others.”
Will’s lip was suddenly trembling and he looked away. “I don’t know if I can, Nathan. I don’t know if I can forgive him for this. For taking Mother and Olivia away from the family.”
Nathan wanted to go to him and take him in his arms and tell him it was all right to feel that way, that they had just cause. But he couldn’t. “You must, Will,” he said. “Because if you don’t, if you can’t live the gospel now, even when things are terrible, then your father’s right. The Church really isn’t that important to you.”
“But he’s wrong!” Olivia cried. “He thinks I’m lying to him. He thinks those awful things about me and Joseph. He won’t listen!”
“Do you love him, Livvy?”
Her head came up with a jerk.
“Right now? After all he’s done? Do you still love your father?”
“Of course, but—”
“Do you, Will?”
There was a long moment, then a slow nod. “Yes.”
“Then you must show him that you won’t let his anger and his bitterness turn your love away. Show him what a true disciple is like.”
Nathan opened the Bible and withdrew a folded sheet of paper from it. He handed it to Caroline, and as she took it she gave him a quizzical look. He motioned for her to open it. She did, scanning the lines in the dim light. Suddenly her eyes were brimming with tears. “Yes,” she said. “I understand.”
“What is it, Mama?” Olivia asked.
She turned to her children now. “This seems like a very dark time for us right now,” she began. “It seems like everything has just collapsed in around us.”
“Yes,” Will said, curious now too.
“Well, these are the words which God spoke to Joseph when he was going through a very difficult time too.” She turned the paper to the light and began to read, slowly and with much feeling. “ ‘If thou art called to pass through tribulation; if thou art in perils among false brethren; if thou art in perils among robbers; if thou art in perils by land or by sea—’ ” She looked at Olivia. “ ‘If thou art accused with all manner of false accusations; if thine enemies fall upon thee; if—’ ” Suddenly her voice faltered and the paper dropped to her lap. She looked away.
Nathan reached down and took the paper from her. “ ‘If they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother—’ ” He too had to stop for a moment, his hands trembling slightly. But then he went on with deeper resolution. “ ‘If they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.’ ” He lowered the paper slowly, speaking mostly to himself now. “ ‘The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?’ ”
“Thank you, Nathan,” Caroline said. “Thank you for reminding us of who we are and what is expected of us. We will be fine now.”
“There’s something else,” Nathan said. “We had a family council this afternoon. You need to know that each week all of us, including the young children, will be having a special fast for your family. And we’ll not just be fasting and praying for you three. We’ll also be fasting for your father.”
Chapter Notes
Mention is made here of the family’s eating ice cream. Dating back to George Washington and colonial times, ice cream was a favorite dessert in America. It would be 1846, two years from the time of the action in this chapter, before a woman named Nancy Johnson would invent the simple hand-cranked freezer which allowed ice cream to be made at home with relative ease. Until then, ice cream was made by filling one large bowl with ice, then nesting another bowl inside that and whipping the mixture—eggs, cream, sugar, and some kind of fruit or syrup for flavoring—vigorously until it froze. (See Discovering America’s Past: Customs, Legends, History, and Lore of Our Great Nation [Pleasantville, N.Y.: Reader’s Digest Association, 1993], p. 56.)
It was on 20 February 1844 that Joseph told the Twelve to organize an expedition to go west in search of a possible location for a new home for the Saints (see HC 6:222, 232). This decision likely stemmed from his Rocky Mountain prophecy mentioned earlier in this book. Some men volunteered and some preliminary efforts were undertaken for this expedition, but with the press of the election and the growing problems with the dissenters, nothing more came of it.
Chapter 37
It said a great deal about the depths of Joshua Steed’s feelings that within twenty-four hours of his visit from Robert Foster he had his family out of Nauvoo. Shortly after eight o’clock on the morning of February twenty-third, he loaded Caroline, Will, Olivia, Savannah, and Charles into a wagon filled with enough essentials to last them until they could find a home in Warsaw, fifteen miles south of Nauvoo. He stood back, quiet but resolute, while the family bid their farewells to his family. When that was done, he gave his mother a brief kiss on the cheek. “I’m sorry, Mama,” was all he said. He shook hands with his father.
“I’m sorry it had to end this way, Joshua,” Benjamin said.
He shrugged, his face impassive. To everyone else he simply lifted a hand, said good-bye, then climbed up on the wagon seat and drove away. Will sat beside him on the wagon seat, Caroline and the other children rode in the back.
Upon their arrival in Warsaw, Joshua checked his family into the hotel, the same one he and Will stayed in each time they came through Warsaw, and saw to getting them supper. First thing the next morning, he went in search of Thomas Sharp, editor of the Warsaw Signal. Three nights later, Joshua Steed was the featured speaker to a capacity crowd at a rally of the anti-Mormon political party in Warsaw. By then, word had spread as far east as Carthage and across the river into Missouri, and Joshua had a wildly enthusiastic crowd. Joshua Steed, the famous and wealthy businessman from Nauvoo, had come out in open opposition to the Mormons.
After the rally was over, the masses surged up and down the streets of Warsaw, chanting, shouting, shaking their fists in the air. With each hour the barrels of beer and the kegs of whiskey emptied and the mood of the crowd grew more jubilant. Or, one might say, the mood grew uglier if one viewed it from the Mormon perspective, as Will, Olivia, and Caroline did from their hotel roo
m. Savannah and Charles were asleep in the next room, but the three of them stood at the window of the second floor. The curtains were pulled open and they had no lamp or candles lit, so they could watch from the darkness what was going on in the streets. Olivia stood close to her mother, her shoulder touching hers for reassurance, her eyes wide and showing fear.
After several minutes, Olivia looked up at her mother. “They really hate us, don’t they?”
“Yes,” Caroline murmured. She felt cold and sick and dead inside. One hand strayed down to run across the swelling of her stomach. Was this what her child would be born into? How would she even find a sympathetic doctor or midwife in this town?
Will stared numbly out into the night. He had faced hostile ministers in England. He had spoken to more than one taunting street crowd. He had been splattered with eggs and tomatoes, and once had even had a vicious dog set loose on him. But he had never felt anything like this. “Now I know how Grandma and Grandpa and Nathan and all the rest must have felt in Missouri,” he said quietly. His voice trailed off and they stood there together, staring out into the darkness.
“May I speak with you, Pa?”
Joshua looked up from reading the paper. Will stood in the door of the small room at the back of the Signal building. Thomas Sharp was providing Joshua with a temporary office until he could find something to rent. He laid the paper down. “All right.”
Will moved inside and shut the door. Joshua watched him warily, noting that Will looked tired and drawn. Will sat down and leaned forward, peering at his hands.
What his father didn’t know was that Will had been awake for a good part of the night. He had carefully considered every facet of what he was about to do. He wished fervently that he could have counseled with Nathan on this. Or Joseph. Nathan’s counsel to Caroline, Will, and Olivia before they left weighed heavily upon them. On the other hand, Will was also deeply concerned for the welfare of his family, and he had finally decided there was a matter of principle too.
“I’m listening,” Joshua finally said.
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