Melissa nodded, but neither Carl nor Melissa followed them to the door as they let themselves out.
For a long time after Nathan and Jane had left, Carl and Melissa stood at the window, looking out into the night. Finally, Melissa took Carl’s hand. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
He shrugged. “About the buggy whip.”
“How do you explain it?” she asked softly.
He thought about it for a moment before answering. “I guess I have to admit that there is evidence that at times Joseph Smith had the Spirit of the Lord. And I think the healing of the feet was the result of Jane’s faith, and her family’s. They had made a great sacrifice for their beliefs.”
“And the dream?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. The mind can play funny tricks on you.”
She didn’t turn. “Nathan’s right, Carl. I did know once. I knew it was all true.”
“Well,” he said, wearily now, and with just a trace of anger. “If Nathan wants to talk about evidence, then let’s talk about the fact that when Brigham Young rolls out of here, he’ll have several wives with him. So will Heber Kimball and who knows how many others. What of that?”
Her thoughts were already there. “I don’t know, Carl. You know how that makes me feel. It just makes me sick inside.”
“Isn’t it possible to be a prophet and then fall? It’s happened before.”
“I suppose.”
He swung on her. “Do you want to leave? Do you want to take our children out of here and go to some wild place a thousand miles from nowhere, facing the threat of Indians, not knowing if you’re going to survive the next winter?”
“No, you know I don’t. But . . .”
“I know how you feel about your family, Melissa, but we have our family to think about too. Do you want to go? Is that what you’re saying?”
There was no sound, but as he turned to look at her, he saw the tears making streaks on her face. “No,” she said finally, in a small, barely audible voice. “I don’t want to go, Carl. And that’s what frightens me the most.”
Nathan was in the back room of the store, checking on the bags of beans they were trading to John Browning for one of his new rifles. He heard the door open at the front of the store and the soft jingle of the bell. Only half listening, he went on working. Then he heard his father’s voice.
“Good afternoon, Lydia. Is Nathan here?”
“In here,” he called. He set down the small record book and pen and wiped his hands on his leather apron. When his father appeared at the doorway, he started across the room, then stopped at the sight of Benjamin’s face. “What?”
“Brigham has called for a meeting of all captains at four o’clock.”
Lydia had come up behind her father-in-law. “A meeting?” she asked in alarm. “Do you know what it’s about?”
He shook his head, his mouth tight. “No, but I can guess.”
“Brethren, if we can have your attention. I know there is a lot of excitement, but if you’ll quiet down, we’ll only have to say this once.”
It took another minute, but finally the noise died away. Brigham barely waited for the last whisper to fade. “Brethren, we met in council this morning. We have come to a decision. As you know, the news from Washington is not good. Our enemies prowl around the city like wolves on the trail of blood. Therefore—” He stopped, suddenly looking overwhelmed by the enormity of what he was about to say. He took a quick breath and bored on. “Therefore, as the Twelve, we have agreed that it is imperative that we start as soon as possible.”
There were no gasps, no indrawn breaths, no shocked looks of incredulity. The only real question for the last week had been merely, When shall it be?
“Our enemies have resolved to intercept us whenever we start and to disarm us. If we stay here many days, our way will be hedged up. Therefore, I should like as many as possible to push on as far as possible as quickly as possible. Before we are closed in.”
“How soon is that?” someone cried out.
Brigham looked grim. “I have counseled the brethren to procure boats and hold them in readiness to convey our wagons and teams across the river. You captains, get with your families immediately. Tell them to have all things in readiness. I want a family to be in such a state that when the call comes, they can have everything loaded in no more than four hours and start for the river crossing. We suspect that the call to move will come tomorrow or the next day.”
He stopped, waiting for a response, but there was not a sound.
“No one is to leave until they are called to do so. I shall start loading my wagons as well. The plan is that the Twelve and I shall cross first so that the Saints will know that they are following their appointed leaders.” There was a brief, fleeting smile. “That will also confound the governor’s troops, who keep sniffing around for Brigham like a puppy dog looking for an old slipper.”
That brought a laugh, but it quickly died out. “Brethren, you have your charge. You are dismissed.”
As they walked slowly out the front door of the temple, Nathan turned to his father. “Today is the second day of February.”
Benjamin looked at him curiously. “Yes?”
“This is madness, you know,” Nathan said quietly. “Utter madness. There won’t be grass on the prairies for another two months.”
“Are you saying that we shouldn’t go?”
“Oh, no. We have no choice. But it’s still madness.”
“Seems to be a constant bedfellow in our lives, doesn’t it?”
Nathan nodded. “Have you ever noticed something, Father?”
“What?”
“When we were driven out of Jackson County it was in November and December. When Kirtland fell and we had to flee for our lives, it was December and January. Far West fell in November and we had to leave there in January and February. Now it’s February again. Does it seem to you like something’s missing here?”
Benjamin gave a mirthless little chuckle. “I don’t remember you mentioning April or May. Early September would also have been nice.”
“Do you think the Lord is trying to tell us something?” Nathan mused, half to himself now.
“No.”
His head came around. “You don’t?”
“No, I think he’s trying to make us into something.”
When Jenny opened the front door of the house the next morning, she blinked for a moment. President Brigham Young was standing on their porch, hat in hand, his eyes bright and alert and filled with some hidden amusement.
“Good morning, Jenny.”
“Oh! Good morning, President Young.”
The smile spread from his eyes to his mouth. “Is Matthew about or has he gone to the wagon shop already?”
“No, he’s upstairs with Betsy Jo. Won’t you come in?” She was holding Emmeline in one arm and pushed the door open with her free hand. “I’ll go get him.”
“Here. Let me take this little beauty while you do so.” And then, seeing the look in Jenny’s eyes, he laughed lightly. “It’s nothing critical,” he said. “It’s just been so busy of late, that I never get to see this young friend of mine anymore. I was hoping he might just walk up with me to the temple this morning so we would have a chance to visit.”
“You’re in the fourth company?” Brigham asked.
“Yes.”
“And your preparations?”
“As good as could be expected. We have four wagons, now that Joshua brought that one down from Wisconsin. We have the required amount of flour and foodstuffs, with one or two small exceptions.”
“Good for you. Would that every family was as ready!”
Matthew looked sideways at his mentor, business partner, and friend. “So how soon do you think we’ll be leaving?”
Brigham seemed surprised. “I thought you’d heard. The first company will start tomorrow morning.”
It was no less than Matthew expected. He blew out his breath slowly. “It is an enormous task,
isn’t it?”
There was a quiet grunt of frustration. “More than I ever dreamed possible. I’ll tell you, Matthew. I have a whole new appreciation for Moses lately.”
“I’ll bet you do.”
“We are modern Israel, you know,” he mused. “And we are about to leave Egypt and strike out into the wilderness.”
“For forty years?” Matthew asked, straight-faced.
Brigham hooted. “Might take us that long just to get the people ready to leave.” Then he sobered again. “In fact, I have been reading a great deal in the Old Testament about the Exodus. There are some interesting parallels.”
“Like what?”
“Well, just this morning, I was reading something that cheered me up greatly. It’s in the book of Numbers. Do you remember the time that Moses got so discouraged?”
Matthew’s brows knitted into a puzzled expression. “No, I guess I don’t.”
“Well, there they were, getting manna from heaven every day, one miraculous sign after another being shown to them, and what were the people doing? They were moaning and groaning and complaining. The scriptural word is murmuring.” His voice went into a high, mimicking whine. “‘We’re tired of eating manna all the time. We want fish and the onions. Where are the vegetables of Egypt? Give us flesh to eat.’”
His voice dropped again and he blew out his breath with some disgust. “They were like children, wanting Moses to meet their every need, satisfy every whim. Moses got really discouraged. And that’s what cheered me up. He went to the Lord and said something like this: ‘What have I done wrong that you have afflicted me with this people? Why should I be asked to carry such a burden? Where am I going to find flesh for them to eat? If you really love me, Lord, why not take my life now and spare me all of this?’”
Matthew was chuckling. “Did he really?”
Brigham smiled back. “Well, I’ve taken a few liberties with the text, but not many.” He looked at Matthew directly, his eyes grave now. “And then Moses said, ‘I am not able to bear this burden alone, because it is too heavy for me.’” He sighed heavily. “I know what he means, Matthew. I know exactly how he felt.”
Matthew waited, knowing that Brigham had more he wanted to say.
After a moment, he straightened and looked at Matthew again. “But the Lord reminded Moses, and he reminded me at the same time, that we do not carry the burden alone. The Lord is with us, and if we are faithful, we shall be borne up as on eagle’s wings, as Isaiah tells us.”
He clapped a hand on Matthew’s shoulder. “Thank you for letting me unload my cares on you, Matthew. I know it won’t shake your testimony to know that old Brother Brigham is human.”
Matthew laughed softly. “Never.”
They were just starting to climb the hill that led to the top of the bluff and the temple site. They walked on in silence for a moment, each lost in his own thoughts. Then Brigham cleared his throat. “Has Joshua definitely decided to stay?”
“Yes. He’s saying that maybe after he gets his lumber down here next spring and after we have found where we’re going to be, maybe then he’ll come join us. Caroline is, of course, disappointed with that, but at least there is some hope for her.”
“And Carl?”
Matthew just shook his head.
“That’s a tragedy. He’s a good man. And Melissa is a jewel.”
“Mother is having a very difficult time with this,” Matthew said. Then his voice lifted. “But we heard from Peter yesterday.”
“You did? From Springfield?”
“Yes. They have been inquiring around. One family is definitely interested in getting a tutor for their children. The husband is traveling right now, but the wife wants them to come back when he returns and to interview with him.”
“Really! That’s wonderful.”
“In the letter Peter seemed very pleased. He’s also found work at one of the newspapers there to earn a little money in the meantime.” He started to chuckle. “Peter did say that he provided a group of local boys considerable amusement when he tried to drive three yoke of oxen for the first time.”
Brigham was chuckling too. “Peter’s got a lot of pluck. Kathryn too. They’ll be fine.”
They were now just half a block away from the temple, and the front door was clearly in sight. A large crowd of people were gathered there. Brigham slowed his step. “I was afraid of that,” he muttered. He took Matthew’s elbow. “This is what pains me the most, Matthew. The administration of the temple ordinances is going to have to come to an end.”
As they approached, someone spied them coming and an excited cry went up.
Matthew stood back as Brigham pushed into the crowd, shaking hands and answering questions. In a moment, he climbed the front steps of the temple, which put him above the rest of the crowd. He turned to face them and raised his hands. In a moment they quieted, every face looking up in anticipation.
“Brethren and sisters, I was afraid I might find such a gathering here this morning. Did you not hear the announcement that we would not be attending to the ordinances of the temple today?”
A cry of disappointment went up and many were shaking their heads.
“We are preparing to depart. Our enemies are going to try and hedge up the way and prevent us from leaving. If we continue giving the endowment, we shall not be able to get away.”
“But how, then, can we get this blessing?” a woman cried out.
Brigham raised a hand. “It is not wise that we stay longer. We shall build other temples, and you shall have further opportunities to receive the blessings of the Lord, as soon as you are able to receive them.”
The murmurs of disappointment formed a mournful chorus.
“Brethren and sisters, I am going back home to get my wagons ready and start west tomorrow morning. I urge you to do the same. It is time for us to leave.”
Without another word, he stepped into the crowd again and made his way back to Matthew. “Let us return home, Matthew,” he said, his voice heavy with discouragement. “I have wagons to load.”
As they walked away, Matthew looked over his shoulder. No one in the crowd moved. They stood in clusters, watching their leader leave again. It was as if they were watching their captain boarding the lifeboat and leaving them to sink with the ship.
“It is a wonderful testimony of their faith,” Brigham said in a low voice, “but we must prepare to leave.”
They walked on silently all the way to the edge of the bluff before Brigham turned around. Matthew turned with him. The crowd had not moved. They still stood there at the front door to the temple, their eyes fixed on Brigham, now nearly a block away.
For a long time, Brigham didn’t move. Matthew could see his mouth working, but he didn’t speak. Then there came a deep sigh, filled with pain, filled with surrender. “Look at them,” he said, not speaking to Matthew, but to the people. “How they hunger and thirst for the blessings of the Lord!”
“Would you like me to go speak to them again?” Matthew asked.
There was a slow shake of the head. Then, “Matthew, could I ask a favor of you?”
“Of course.”
“Would you go by the house and tell Sister Young and my family that I will be up here for a time? I’ll try to get down this afternoon to continue with the loading of the wagons.”
“Yes, Brother Brigham.”
Chapter Notes
The story of the conversion of Jane Manning and her family and of their arduous trip from Connecticut to Nauvoo, Illinois, is true (see Women of Nauvoo, pp. 19–20; also Linda King Newell and Valeen Tippetts Avery, “Jane Manning James: Black Saint, 1847 Pioneer,” Ensign 9 [August 1979]: 26–29). Though the modern preference is to call African-Americans “blacks” and not “Negroes” or “colored folk,” in the nineteenth century the other terms prevailed, and the author felt to follow that convention here in order to be authentic to the times.
Brigham’s conversation with Matthew about Moses is not based on any partic
ular known speech or any of his writings. However, we do know that there were times when he became greatly discouraged with the burden placed upon him. One entry in his history reads: “Unless this people are more united in spirit and cease to pray against counsel, it will bring me down to my grave. I am reduced in flesh so that my coat that would scarcely meet around me last winter now laps over twelve inches. It is with much ado that I can keep from lying down and sleeping to wait the resurrection.” (Cited in Susan W. Easton, “Suffering and Death on the Plains of Iowa,” BYU Studies 21 [Fall 1981]: 435; capitalization standardized.)
On 29 January, Brigham Young received a letter from Samuel Brannan stating that while in Washington he had confirmed the intent of the federal government to intercept the Mormons and prevent them from leaving. With that discouraging news, on 2 February, Brigham called a meeting of the captains of hundreds and captains of fifties and announced that they would leave in a short time and asked them to be ready to leave on four hours’ notice. (See HC 7:577–79.) The following day, Brigham went to the temple and found a large congregation waiting there for the ordinance work, even though he had previously announced there would be none. When they would not disperse, Brigham reopened the temple for endowment work. He records in his journal that 295 people received ordinances on that day. (See HC 7:579.) He did not leave the next day, but stayed another two weeks. By then, nearly six thousand people had been endowed in the house of the Lord since the work had started on 10 December 1845.
Chapter 31
They’re going! They’re going!”
Young Joshua Steed came whooping up the middle of Steed Row, hollering at the top of his lungs, his breath puffing out like smoke from a railroad engine. A door opened and Melissa Rogers stepped out, dressed in a winter coat. Across the street, Benjamin appeared for a second or two at a window; then a few moments later he stepped out, putting on his coat. Mary Ann appeared right behind him, wrapping herself as well.
In five minutes every member of the family was there, Carl and Joshua included. The older children ran on ahead, but the rest walked together the five blocks south to Parley Street, then turned right toward the river crossing. It was a cold morning and there had been a hard frost. Puddles from the thaw of the previous day were now irregular circles of shining ice along the way. By the time they reached the west end of Parley Street, noses were touched with red, and ears tingling.
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