by Jamie Craig
* * * *
Josh’s gut twisted so painfully he thought his intestines might actually be trying to escape his body. He curled into a fetal position and caught his breath, frightened any stray thought or puff of air would wake the sleeping creatures behind him.
They had targeted Sara because he had given them all the information they ever needed to know. He had offered a template of her life. They knew where to look, because they knew where to find him. And they knew who to target, because…
Because he considered Sara to be the better subject. They wanted Sara because he would have targeted Sara. He had created the temptation, dangled the bait, and ultimately led them directly to her.
Every moment, every bit of pain, every tear, could be laid at his feet. Josh knew he couldn’t volunteer that information, but Cam would figure it out, if Sara didn’t first. And how could he hope they’d ever forgive him? He didn’t even know how to forgive himself.
Chapter 13
There was a second, harrowing and forever, where Sara was afraid to move, afraid to breathe, afraid to do anything for fear of shattering the illusion winding around her. She felt warm. She felt safe. She felt whole for the first time in too long. And what made it so truly terrifying was she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt it was completely the doing of the body currently curled around hers.
Every detail of the previous night was etched on her brain. Josh’s request. Her inability to shift. Her panic at accepting Cam’s aid. But she also remembered the calm of his voice, the freedom when she’d finally shifted, the sense of knowing she had nothing to fear from Cam. She remembered the desire to assure him, and she still felt his purring satisfaction on her tongue. Even more, she recalled the easy joy at feeling his body wrapped around hers and the simplicity of falling asleep.
But now she was awake. And Cam couldn’t remain a cat forever.
Opening her eyes, Sara eased out from his more muscular form, leaping to the floor as soon as she was free. She stretched, front legs fully extended as her chest touched the floor, then padded silently to the open door. She only stopped to look back once she was on the threshold.
Cam hadn’t moved. He was still curled into a bow, the empty space in front of him a hole waiting to be filled again. Stretched out on the other side of the bed was Josh, his head buried beneath his pillow.
She didn’t shift until she was in the bathroom. She didn’t want to risk her heavier steps waking either of them up.
What am I doing to do now? she wondered as she lathered the soap between her fingers.
Facing Cam when he was a harmless tabby was one thing. Confronting the face of her attacker on a daily basis was something else entirely.
Sara knew how much Cam was hurting. Even if Josh didn’t make that clear in his actions, she heard it in Cam’s voice, saw it in the fleeting glimpses of him she’d tolerated so far. Spending the night as they had would give him false hope. From the beginning, there had always been a connection between them when it came to their shifting, something innate and powerful and unlike anything she’d ever had before. That was part of how the previous night had been possible.
But Sara didn’t know whether or not she could ignore all the fear in her body and listen to all the logical arguments her head kept throwing at her. This wasn’t the Cam who had hurt her. This wasn’t the Cam who pushed her to her limits. This was the Cam who loved her, and wanted her, and would do anything in his power for her, including giving her the space she had needed when she had first woken up. Her head knew all this. Her heart even knew it, when she didn’t have the vicious mask of terror blinding her to the truth. It was just a matter of convincing her body what the rest of her already knew.
She looked at her reflection. Maybe today was the day to stop letting the bastards win.
With fresh resolve, Sara walked back to the bedroom. She pushed the door open quietly, planning to slip in, grab her clothes and slip back out again, but the sight of a human Cam, standing at the side of the bed pulling on his pants, made her pause.
He touched his finger to his lips and then pointed to Josh. “Long night,” he mouthed.
She glanced at him only briefly before returning to Cam. First sight had made her heart start jackhammering, but her tightened grip on the doorknob had been enough to stifle her flight instinct. It didn’t mean she was completely comfortable standing there naked in front of him, though.
Reaching around the door, she grabbed her robe from where it hung on the back and put it on, cinching the belt tight around her waist. Cam still watched her, and she knew he wouldn’t make a move until she said or did something to break the ice. So she swallowed her knot of fear and nodded toward the hall, hoping he would take the hint and follow her out.
Cam pulled a shirt on quickly. Shutting the door behind him, he murmured, “Every time I woke up last night, he was staring at his computer. I don’t even know what time he finally put it away.” He looked up, catching her eye briefly before looking away again. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yes. Thank you.” She paused. Would the awkwardness of their conversation ever go away? “My stomach doesn’t hurt this morning, so I guess the theory about me not shifting for so long was the right one.”
“Yeah, I guess so. Josh…he really knows his stuff, doesn’t he?”
Though she wrapped her arms around herself, Sara braved keeping her gaze steady on Cam, even though he was still avoiding hers. “We both know it wasn’t his theory, Cam.”
Cam smiled, almost self-consciously. “He told me how you were feeling, and it reminded me of somebody I used to know.” He looked over her shoulder to the stairs and shifted his weight back against the wall, like he planned to lean there all morning. “He must have gone to a dozen doctors, getting worse by the day, until they realized he hadn’t shifted once since his wife left him.”
“Well, however you figured it out, thank you.” Another clumsy silence settled between them while Sara wracked her brain for something to say. It shouldn’t be this hard, she kept telling herself. She’d had little problems with him when they were both cats. She ended up grasping at a straw. “You said you kept waking up. Didn’t you sleep well?”
Cam’s self-conscious smile turned tender. “I slept…really, really well, actually. But cats have heightened senses, and Josh…something was keeping him awake.”
“Usually, that’s me. He worries too much.”
“He does. But then, he wouldn’t be our Josh if he didn’t worry too much, would he?”
A sudden notion sprang to mind. “We should let him sleep in. And then surprise him with breakfast.”
Cam’s eyes lit up and he nodded slowly. “He’d like that. Anything particular in mind?”
“That depends on whether you expect me to help or not.” Sara took a deep breath, ignoring the trembling in her knees. Focus on how familiar this feels. This is not the Cam who hurt you. Remember what it felt like when you woke up. She tried her best mischievous smile. “You don’t really think I got cooking lessons while I was gone, do you?”
“Why don’t we split up the work? You make him his favorite sandwich, and I’ll whip up an omelet. How does that sound?”
“Do I get a piece of that omelet?”
Cam finally met her gaze, his eyes warm. “Absolutely. I’d fix you anything you wanted.”
Of course you would. But she didn’t say it aloud. Instead, she darted forward before she lost her nerve and brushed a kiss over his cheek.
“Last one down has to do the dishes!” she said as she whirled on her heel and flew down the stairs.
“I always do the dishes anyway,” Cam called after her as she reached the bottom stair. She looked over her shoulder to watch him slowly descend. His voice was gruff, but he was still smiling. “I bet you can’t name one time you or Josh did the dishes.”
“Can, too.” She shot him one last grin before bolting for the kitchen. It was easier if she made it a game. She didn’t look like a big ol’ scaredy cat about facing Cam t
hen. “It was the one and only time you had the guts to try and teach us how to make your chili. And it only happened then because Josh wimped out and told you how we’d ordered in the entire time you’d been away at that conference in Houston.”
Cam shuddered, following her, but she noticed he kept several feet between them. “I still have nightmares about what you two did to my kitchen.” He went directly to the fridge and started pulling out food. “Cleaning it up was the least you two could do.”
Though Cam shook his head, she caught the smile he tried to hide as he stuck his head in the refrigerator. It was proof there was an abundance of good memories for all of them; the trick was in remembering them when the bad ones refused to be ignored.
* * * *
Sara hopped up on the counter, her legs swinging, her heels hitting the cupboards on every downswing. “I still don’t get why we have to do this,” she complained.
“Because Jose saw me at the store today and thanked me for sending his child to college,” Cam shot back.
Sara waved him off. “Jose’s a big liar. There is no college in this country that’s going to accept Antonio Andrade. Not with his grades.”
Cam began systematically removing the pans from the cupboard and placing them on the stove. “The kid won’t need good grades. His father will be so wealthy, he’ll have his pick of schools. They’ll drink a toast in my honor every Christmas, while we dine on a feast of ramen noodles.”
“That must be Josh’s year to do the holiday cooking then.” She looked pointedly over at where Josh sat quietly at the table. “And don’t think I don’t know you didn’t rat us out, too. One of these days, you might actually remember these walls are like paper.”
“Hey,” Josh protested. “He tricked me. He doesn’t play fair.”
Sara rolled her eyes. “No, you’re a sucker for a good blow job.”
“And he knows that, and that’s why it’s not fair,” Josh said with a sense of finality. She arched her brow, so he shifted tactics. “Plus, he found all the receipts. Even the ones you said you’d throw away.”
She tossed her hair. “You know, maybe we’re looking at this completely wrong. Maybe the problem isn’t that we ordered too much food. Maybe the problem is that Cam didn’t leave enough leftovers for us, so we were forced to go looking elsewhere for sustenance.” Reaching sideways, she grabbed a bag of cheese from the growing pile of ingredients. When she tried to open the bag, however, the plastic split, sending shredded cheddar flying every which way. “Oh, shit.”
Josh’s lips twitched into a smile, but one glance at Cam wiped the smile away. “I’ll get that,” he said, jumping to his feet to retrieve the broom.
Cam returned to the fridge and pulled out a large cube of cheddar. “First, I don’t see why it’s my responsibility to feed you two. You’re adults. Second, I left you plenty of food. It was enough to last any reasonable people at least two weeks. Third,” he added, gripping the counter on either side of her knees and holding her in place, “I know you were the one who ate all the food and led Josh astray. You’ve corrupted him.”
Sara grinned. Looping her arms over Cam’s taut shoulders, she said, “I’ve never heard you complain about my brand of corruption before.” Leaning in, she caught Josh’s eye and winked just as she began nibbling along Cam’s neck. “And maybe if I didn’t keep working off all these calories, I wouldn’t be so hungry all the time. So, again? Not my fault.”
“So it’s Josh’s fault after all?” Cam asked, sliding his gaze sideways to watch Josh sweep up the cheese. “I guess that means I’ll have to punish him.”
Josh emptied the dustpan into the garbage. “I think I’m being punished enough.”
Cam turned his head and caught Sara’s mouth, biting her bottom lip playfully. “I haven’t even begun. Sara, you grate that cheese, Josh, you start chopping up the onions and the tomatoes.”
She laughed as Josh’s face fell. “I knew proving dangerous with knives would work in my favor someday.”
Josh obediently took his place at the other end of the kitchen, wielding the knife with easy dexterity in spite of the way the cutting board hung over the edge of the counter. Water streamed down his face as he worked on the onions under Cam’s watchful eye. But then Cam turned to warm the skillet for his meat, and Sara looked down, and the next thing they knew, the cutting board crashed to the floor, sending bits of onions and one large, ripe tomato skating across the floor.
She was ready with the paper towel before either of the men, but as Sara turned to kneel down and clean up the mess, her heel caught on the tomato, bursting the tender skin and causing her to skid backwards onto her ass. Her hands flew out to catch herself, but one palm landed in the middle of a juicy puddle, and she pitched sideways with a surprised cry.
“What is this?” Cam asked, eying Sara without a hint of sympathy. “Some sort of sketch comedy routine? Did you two rehearse this while I was gone?”
She glared up at him from her spot on the floor. “No. Because we were smart and avoided the kitchen once it was out of food.”
“You avoid the kitchen when it’s full of food,” Cam said, bending to grip her wrists. He pulled her to her feet in a smooth motion, yanking her against his body. His mouth was barely an inch from hers, and he smelled sweet, like the orange he had been chewing on earlier. She tilted her head and closed her eyes, expecting him to close the distance between them. But her eyes flew open again when he growled, “Where do you think you’re going?”
“You can’t make us cook if you don’t have any vegetables,” Josh pointed out reasonably.
When Cam began to move away, Sara coiled her calf around the back of his leg, keeping him firmly against her. “He has a point, you know.” Though he still held her wrist, she reached down and cupped his cock through his pants. “But I bet we can find other ways to keep him in the kitchen.”
“I don’t believe you should be rewarded for your bad behavior,” Cam said against her mouth, but he reached behind her to turn the burner off.
“Admit it.” His looser grip gave her room to catch his zipper and slide her hand inside. He was already getting hard, but she bypassed his cock this time to stroke his balls. “You like me when I’m bad.”
He smiled. “Tell you what, you keep Josh from fleeing, and you don’t have to cook anything.”
Her brows shot up at the same time Josh’s did. Before Cam changed his mind, she pulled her hand free of his pants and slipped past him, grabbing Josh’s shirtfront before he could escape too.
“I’m just following orders,” she said in mock innocence as she fell to her knees.
Josh looked from her to Cam and held up his hands. “Look, Cam, I can’t be expected to cook while she’s doing this. I can barely cook under the best of circumstances.”
Cam circled to stand behind him and rested his chin on Josh’s shoulder. “I’ll make a deal with you, because I’m a reasonable guy.”
Sara watched from beneath her lashes as Cam gripped Josh’s hips.
“I’m listening,” Josh said.
“You and Sara convince me there’s nothing in this world I want more than to be your loyal servant.”
“By being your loyal servants.” Sara tugged at Josh’s belt, yanking him to his knees alongside her. She leaned in and nipped at his jaw. “Think of it as payback for how he got you to talk,” she murmured in his ear.
Josh didn’t seem at all put out by the plan. In fact, his eyes were shining. “He deserves it, too. You wouldn’t believe the things he did to me. Talk about corrupting influences.”
“You loved every second of it,” Cam said, unbuckling his belt.
Josh narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “Unless, of course, you taught him everything he knows. In which case, he was right about you.”
“Of course, he was right about me.” As soon as Cam’s pants were completely open, Sara batted his hand out of the way and pulled out his hard length. “Tell me how I’m supposed to behave myself when he’s teasing me
with this gorgeous cock.” Cradling it in her palm, she leaned in and dragged her tongue along its length. “Can’t be done.”
Cam reached behind him and gripped the counter, bracing himself as she teased him. She split her attention between watching Cam’s face transform with bliss, and noting the way Josh’s eyes widened and his lips parted. It was hard to know what got under Josh’s skin more; she knew he loved Cam’s cock as much as she did, but he also had a major weakness for her mouth.
“Josh,” Cam muttered.
“What?”
“Are you just going to watch, or are you going to help her out?”
Josh cocked his eyebrow. “Oh, I’m going to help her. Don’t you worry about that.”
“He’ll get his turn.” She skimmed the edge of her teeth along his shaft, eliciting a sharp hiss from Cam. “I promise.”
“Sara?” Josh asked.
She lifted her head. “Yeah?”
He gripped the back of her neck and plunged his tongue into her mouth, kissing her with the sort of hungry intensity she’d learned to expect from him. “I want a turn with you, too.”
Cam’s cock was forgotten in the seconds Josh plundered her mouth, and by the time Sara pulled back, she was already breathless. “Or you could make it the same turn,” she teased. She angled Cam in order to drag the wet tip along Josh’s lips. “This cock. My pussy. Your mouth.” She glanced up at Cam through her lashes. “If that’s okay with Cam, of course.”
* * * *
Cam crackled with energy as he strolled into the kitchen, his mind on things other than food. He hadn’t slept that well in a very, very long time—even though he felt tension rolling off Josh in waves. It had been too difficult to acknowledge Josh’s anxiety and still lose himself with Sara. So he chose Sara. And he didn’t regret it.
Her eyes were distant, her cheeks a little flushed. Was she thinking about that time in the kitchen? Did she still remember the way the onions and tomatoes had smelled, the way Josh’s hot mouth felt? Did she still remember that sometimes, when everything was just right, it felt like they were all one, equal, whole?