by Jamie Craig
That pulled her back into the conversation, and her gaze was curious as she regarded him. “Would you consider living outside a shifter community?”
“If it made you happy, and Josh comfortable, I’d consider living on the moon. Or even Arkansas.”
“It’s not as hard as you think it is.” The shift in subject matter brought something back to life in her, like Cam had given her hope again in their futures. “What about San Francisco? It’s a big city, and it’s pretty liberal. It would be easier for us to live there as a family than most other non-shifter places. Plus, artsy. You and Josh would love that.”
“San Francisco?” It was a big city full of non-shifters, both of which were major problems for Cam. On the other hand, she had a point about how it would probably be easy for them. And both Josh and Sara would thrive in the sort of environment that San Francisco offered. Plus, he made good money, Sara could be a teacher anywhere, and Josh would love to be in California again. “I like the sound of that. I like it a lot.”
She smiled and began chattering about the advantages of the city, how it would be nice to be in the same state as her family even if it was a long drive south to San Diego, and how it would be nice to have green around again instead of the arid brown of the desert. The more she spoke, the faster her words came, her excitement about the possibility almost contagious.
And for a few minutes, it felt like nothing had ever changed.
Chapter 18
The kitchen was warm and spiced with the scent of the chilies Cam was cooking for dinner, the low throb of music from the radio swaying Cam to hum along. Grabbing a potholder, he bent over and opened the oven door, blinking against the rush of heat. Fresh aromas assaulted his senses, and he smiled as he pulled out the Dutch apple pie. Perfect. For as little as he baked, it was nice he could have the things that mattered turn out right.
As he set the hot pie plate on the trivet he had waiting, he caught Josh out of the corner of his eye. “Are you planning on hovering there all night, or are you going to actually set the table?”
“I’d rather hover,” Josh said, obediently pulling plates, silverware, and glasses out of the dishwasher. He paused to inhale the rich aroma of baked apples. “Can we skip right to the dessert?”
Cam smiled and rolled his eyes. “You’re as bad as Sara. And no, no skipping the food I slaved over all day. You’re going to appreciate every last mouthful.” He nodded toward the fridge. “Take the wine with you. By the time I get everything on the table, it’ll be ready to drink.”
Josh shot one last hungry glance at the pie before reaching for the wine. He carried everything over to the table and carefully laid the places out. Cam smiled a little as he watched. Josh always took the task so seriously, frowning as he made sure everything looked just right.
“What’s on the menu?”
“Chile rellenos to start, then paella, and apple pie and ice cream for dessert. I would’ve done a cake, except, well…you know.”
There was no reason to elaborate. The meal consisted of all of Sara’s favorites, and for as long as Cameron had known her, she had always insisted on blowing her candles out on pie. Just because she wasn’t here this year, didn’t mean they would break tradition.
Josh struck a match and lit the two long candles at the center of the table. “I bought something. I put it with the gift I bought last year, even though we said we weren’t going to do that.”
Relief flooded through Cam, and his eyes fluttered shut for a brief moment. “I did, too. Mine’s in the attic. I was afraid you’d find it and give me a hard time.”
“I still might,” Josh said, opening the wine. “What did you get her?”
He carried the platter of chilies to the table. “A reproduction of one of the sculptures from that Aztec exhibit we went to last month. I snuck it out to the car when you thought I was going to the bathroom.”
“I found a painting of a black hawk a few weeks ago while I was looking around an auction site. I’ve been hiding it in the guestroom, under the bed.”
As he took his seat at the table, Cam smiled. “She’ll love that. Of course, she’ll give us hell for being such saps while she’s away, but it’ll be worth it to see the look on her face.”
Josh poured the wine before responding, filling each glass to the top. He looked pointedly at the feast Cam had prepared and said, “She’d probably give us hell for being saps absent of the presents.”
“Hey, it’s not like we don’t have to eat.”
“That’s true. Since you cooked,” Josh said, taking this plate, “I’ll serve.”
Cam watched Josh in silence as he dished out the food. Some of the shadows that usually darkened his eyes were gone, his smile easy. It made him look years younger. As bittersweet as it was to know the significance of the day, Sara’s birthday was one of the times when they gave each other freedom to openly mourn her absence. They let go of the pain in not finding her to celebrate what she had given to them in the time they’d had together. Because in the end, she had also given them each other, and Cam would be grateful for that to his dying days.
Before Josh could pick up his fork, Cam lifted his glass. “To Sara,” he said simply.
Josh tapped the lip of his glass against Cam’s. “To Sara,” he repeated. They both sipped, then Cam watched as Josh sampled a chili. His smile told Cam all he needed to know.
“Did you learn how to make this for her?” Josh asked between bites.
“I learned how to make a lot for her.” As Cam dug into his food, his stomach growled at the rich scents. “The food she grew up on was very different from what I had here in Delta.”
“I have to admit, I’m grateful for that. I never ate like this until I moved here.” He paused for a moment before adding, “I never did a lot of things until I moved here.”
Stretching his leg, Cam curled his foot around Josh’s ankle so that their calves intertwined. “Lucky for me you did, though. I don’t know what my life would be like now if you weren’t around.”
“Well, there would probably be fewer blow jobs.” Josh touched the back of Cam’s hand briefly. “Even though it’s been…hard…I wouldn’t take anything back.”
They lapsed into a comfortable silence as they settled into their meal, each lost in his thoughts. Every once in a while, Josh would reach across the table and spear a shrimp from Cam’s plate, but while he might have protested the theft any other night, today Cam let it slide. In the grand scheme of things, one less shrimp meant nothing at all.
“George was asking me this morning if we were going to take a vacation anywhere this year,” he said as he took the last chili. “It dawned on me that I hadn’t thought about it at all. Have you?”
“Vacation?” Josh said the word like he wasn’t quite sure what it meant. “No, I hadn’t given it any thought. But if anybody deserves one, you do.”
Cam snorted. “I sit on my ass all day in front of a computer. You’re the one doing the hard work keeping everything running.” Rising to his feet, he gathered their empty plates and carried them to the sink. “Anyway, I was thinking maybe it might be a good idea. You and me. Get away from Delta for a little bit. For a reason that wasn’t…about Sara.”
Josh leaned back in his chair thoughtfully. “I wouldn’t be against getting away from Delta. For a little bit. And while you were thinking this over, did you imagine where we would go?”
“Someplace warm. With lots of excuses to get naked.” He shot a wicked grin over his shoulder. “Unless your idea of a vacation doesn’t include lots and lots of sex, in which case we’ll seriously have to reevaluate this relationship.”
Josh carried an empty platter into the kitchen—which would likely amount to his single contribution to clearing the table.
“Actually,” he said, reaching around Cam to put the dirty dish into the sink, “that’s my very definition of vacation.” Josh pressed his body against Cam’s, and there was no mistaking the bulge in Josh’s pants. “Thank you for the wonderf
ul dinner.”
His breath was warm at his ear, and Cam turned his head to catch Josh’s mouth in a slow, lingering kiss. It wasn’t nearly often enough that they could ignore their ghosts and simply be together. “We still have dessert. Unless you want to take it up to our room and have it there.”
“In my experience, pie tastes best in the bedroom,” Josh said, kissing his neck. He took the pie in one hand, and Cam’s hand with the other. “Come upstairs with me.”
He didn’t even think of protesting as Josh led him from the kitchen. Dishes could wait. The desire to feel the mattress at his back and Josh in his ass was far greater than any sense of responsibility.
He took the pie plate from Josh’s hand as soon as they stepped inside their room, setting it aside in order to pull Josh into his arms. Without a word, he curled a hand around the back of Josh’s neck and drew him in for a kiss that was far hungrier than the one downstairs. Their lips parted immediately, and the hot probe of Josh’s tongue was enough to draw a whimper of need to Cam’s throat.
Josh broke the kiss long enough to lift Cam’s shirt over his head, and as their mouths came together again, he smoothed his hands up Cam’s chest and over his shoulders. Cam returned the favor, yanking Josh’s buttons free and seeking out his hot skin. Josh moved deliberately, his mouth slow and thorough, and it seemed like he wouldn’t be happy until he touched every inch of Cam’s skin.
Fingertips grazed over his chest, and when Josh caught his nails on Cam’s flat nipples, Cam gasped at the shock of pleasure that went straight to his cock. “Need you,” he muttered against Josh’s mouth. His hands went to Josh’s waistband, fumbling for a moment with the fastenings, but the moment he touched the hot length of Josh’s cock, both men sighed.
Josh unzipped Cam’s pants and pulled them down his thighs. After another lingering kiss, he dropped to his knees and brushed his lips across the head of Cam’s cock. He slid his hands up Cam’s thighs, massaging the firm muscles. Josh didn’t wrap his lips around his shaft, but he kissed, licked, and nuzzled him, and there was nothing teasing or playful about the contact.
With a groan, Cam laced his fingers through Josh’s hair, desperate for whatever contact he could get. Long swipes down his length were followed by nibbles at the tender skin of his balls, and soon, Cam was trembling, his knees threatening to buckle beneath him.
He dropped his gaze, tugging at Josh’s head to force him to look up. “I want you to fuck me,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “God, I just…I need you.”
Josh nodded and straightened. As Cam stepped out of his pants, Josh quickly finished undressing. Once they were both stripped naked, Josh grabbed the tube of lubricant from the bedside table. He gestured at the bed, and Cam stretched out on his back, bending his knees. Josh knelt between his legs, running his fingers up and down Cam’s sensitive thighs, smiling each time he hissed and jerked.
“You do that on purpose,” Cam growled.
“It’s not my fault you’re so sensitive,” Josh said, bending to nip his skin. Cam narrowed his eyes, but Josh’s grin didn’t fade. He poured a good dose of lubricant on his index and middle finger. “But I do enjoy it quite a bit.”
“Just remember. I know where you’re ticklish.”
Josh’s grin widened as his fingertips brushed against Cam’s pucker. He teased him for a second before pushing his index finger past the tight ring of muscle. “By the time I’m finished, you won’t even know your own name.”
There were no more words as Cam squeezed his eyes shut at the slick intrusion, widening his legs further in silent invitation. His cock lay heavy on his stomach, but as much as he wanted to reach down and start stroking himself, Cam wanted to get lost in the sensation of being filled. It might just be Josh’s fingers right now, but soon enough, the long, lovely length of his cock would be buried inside him, and Cam would wrap his arms around Josh to get him as close as possible. He wanted all of Josh. He wouldn’t settle for anything less.
One finger became two, but by the time Josh added a third, Cam was thrusting back against his hand, unable to control the urge any longer. He fisted the sheets, the sweat already rising to the surface of his skin. “Any time now,” he said, meeting Josh’s heavy-lidded gaze.
Josh thrust his hand forward once more, brushing his fingers purposely against Cam’s prostate before pulling back. He poured more lube into his hand and slicked it down his hard shaft, never taking his eyes from Cam as he stroked himself. His pulse beat erratically and his heart thundered in his ears as he arched his back. Josh positioned himself, gripping the base of his cock and guiding it to Cam’s slick opening.
He pushed in so slowly Cam thought he was going to scream. Every inch stretched him more, left his skin scalding and his breath short, but Cam kept it together all the way until he felt the coarse brush of the hair at the base of Josh’s cock scrape against his balls.
“Come here,” he said and tugged at Josh’s arm.
Josh fell heavily against Cam’s chest, trapping Cam’s cock between their stomachs. His mouth parted as if to say something, but Cam wasn’t interested in his words at the moment. Digging his heels into Josh’s ass, he cupped the other man’s face and pulled him down for a deep, ravenous kiss.
Josh surrendered to Cam, and for a moment, they were completely connected. There wasn’t an inch of space between their bodies, or even a border defining and separating them. There was just their damp, hot skin, their desperate, seeking mouths, and Josh’s cock buried inside of him, pulsing and twitching against his tight flesh. As Josh broke the kiss, he eased away, but not completely out, then rocked forward again.
There were moments when he was with Josh that Cam had to fight not to shift. Before, with Sara, Josh had grown to accept the changes that suddenly seemed urgent, allowing Cam and Sara to satisfy needs with each other he couldn’t quite touch. But Cam was careful never to allow that to happen now. As primal as the instinct could get, what mattered was the connection with Josh, and even now, he refused to succumb to it, too needy for this man that made his life worthwhile to risk it.
So he concentrated on the brilliant flare in Josh’s eyes, the solemn set of his kissable mouth. He licked away the sheen of sweat that gathered at Josh’s temple, and he brushed his lips along the slight stubble on his jaw. Pushing his heels into Josh’s ass, Cam prodded Josh into moving even more, to take long, slow strokes in and out of his tight passage.
On the fifth, Josh scraped across his prostate, and Cam hissed as fire sizzled through his veins.
“That’s it,” he breathed.
“God,” Josh moaned as Cam clenched around him. “God, Cameron.” He slid against Cam’s shaft with each thrust, and his hot breath fanned across Cam’s face with each grunt and sigh. Josh probed Cam’s mouth with his tongue and angled his hips to hit Cam’s prostate with each thrust.
He choked off moan after moan, clutching at Josh’s shoulders. Josh pressed harder into his torso, offering more sweaty friction for Cam’s aching cock, but his even strokes gradually grew more erratic, faster and rougher as their need to come overwhelmed everything else.
“Harder,” Cam panted into his mouth. “Fuck, need you so badly, Josh. Just give it to me.”
Josh seemed to unleash himself, gripping the bed on either side of Cam’s shoulders to brace himself. Panting turned to shouting, and Josh looked half-wild, his face flushed, his eyes wide. Cam tightened around him, and a strangled groan escaped Josh’s throat before he froze, his cock erupting deep within Cam’s ass.
The heat and the taut rub of Josh’s body and the force against his prostate proved too much for Cam, and he cried out, Josh’s name on his lips, as his hot come coated their stomachs. He shuddered, fighting for breath, even when the other man lowered his head to rest his brow against Cam’s shoulder.
“God, I love you,” Cam whispered. He pulled their bodies flush, his mouth raining kisses along the side of Josh’s face. “Don’t go. Don’t you ever go.”
“I won’t,�
� Josh promised, his salty lips moving against Cam’s skin. “Couldn’t ever leave. I love you too much.”
He held onto the promise as tightly as he held onto the man.
Sara would’ve called it a very happy birthday indeed.
* * * *
Cam glanced at her out of the corner of his eye as they pulled to a stop outside the address they had for JD. Her cheeks were flushed from her burst of conversation, and there was an animation to her voice that he hadn’t realized he’d missed until it had returned. If he told her now how they’d celebrated her birthdays in her absence, Cam was certain it would elicit a laugh and a smile that would warm him to his bones.
On impulse, he leaned across the gap between them and brushed his mouth over hers. He pulled back before she had the chance to stop him.
“Let’s go get Josh,” he said with a grin that surprised even him.
They climbed out of the car, and though she didn’t take his hand, Sara did fall into step at his side, her arm brushing against his. She didn’t speak as he pushed the doorbell, but when seconds passed and nobody came to answer, she frowned.
“Her car’s gone,” she said, twisting to look back at the empty driveway.
Cam stepped off the porch to peer in through the window, cupping his hands around his eyes in order to block out the California sun. “I don’t see anybody.”
“I’m going to go in.”
Before he could stop her, she was shrinking, her skin going black and brittle. A blink later and Sara was gone, only a pile of clothes left on the step. Cam picked them up in time to see an ant scuttling beneath the door. While he was glad she was feeling more secure in her shifting, he was more than a little self-conscious about her doing it out in the open and glanced around to see if anybody might have seen her.
He was still scanning the neighborhood when the door opened behind him. Cam turned to see a pale Sara standing in the entrance, her eyes wide and desolate.