All I Want for Christmas

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All I Want for Christmas Page 22

by Denise A. Agnew


  She buried her head against his chest. “Sounds lovely, but that’s what I’m concerned about.”

  Nick cupped her face in his hands, his frown tugging his lips downward. “This doesn’t sound too good.”

  She licked her lips. “It’s just that we weren’t cautious last night. We really did lose complete control.”

  “I loved that,” he said. “And I want it again.”

  “But we didn’t use birth control, Nick.”

  What a fool you are, Claussen.

  The realization stabbed him like a sword and he winced. A healthy expletive parted his lips. “Yeah, I guess we didn’t. I swear that’s never happened to me before.”

  Abby sighed, sliding her arms around his waist. “Well, unless you want another baby on your hands, we can’t do that again. Not until we get some protection.”

  He groaned and leaned his forehead against hers. “You’re right. I can’t believe I didn’t think. I just wanted you so damn much.” Her eyes suddenly filled with tears, and he kissed her nose. “What? What is it?”

  She didn’t answer, simply shook her head and sniffed.

  “Abby, tell me.” Then an idea hit him even more forcefully than the recognition that they hadn’t used birth control. “You don’t think I’m lying, do you? That I’d lie about Candace’s baby being mine? That I go around making love to women without protection.”

  She shook her head again, and he slid his hands down to her shoulders. “I believe you.”

  “Then why are you about to cry?”

  She sniffed again. “Because you gave me something wonderful last night that I’ll never forget, Nick.”

  The lingering doubt in her eyes hurt him. He could see her trepidation and knew it stemmed from too many events occurring at one time. “You’re still not sure. There’s this little part of you that thinks I’ve deceived you.”

  Nick recognized truth in her eyes, and the pain inside him deepened. He wanted to curse.

  Abby shifted in his arms. “It’s just that it’s hard for me to trust, Nick.”

  He wanted to understand, while another part of him didn’t. “You know I’d never do anything to hurt you. You’ve got to trust me.”

  She nodded and moved from his arms. “Give me a little time to think about this whole situation.”

  It wasn’t what he wanted to hear. Perturbed sparks made him want to argue the point with her. Instead, he conceded, willing to give the woman he loved all the time she needed to mend. To trust him as deeply as he trusted her.

  After a moment she said, “I think my aunt and I have come to an understanding. When she came to talk to me this morning she, um... she told me she wants to make things up to me.”

  Abby explained more of what her aunt had said, and he reached for her to hug her tightly. “God, that’s wonderful, sweetheart. Great news.”

  “I hope it can last.”

  “You don’t believe what she says?”

  Her eyes reflected caution, and once again she pulled from his arms. “I believe she’s trying. That’s all I can ask for. It’s a beginning.” When she smiled, Abby looked radiant. “New healing. Today. Now.”

  “That’s all we can ask.” Silence built around them until he asked, “So, what did you get me for Christmas?”

  “I’m not telling. You’ll have to wait and unwrap it.”

  “Maybe I should keep your present a secret then.”

  “I could torture you to confess what it is.”

  Another groan left him. “I’d love to be tortured, sweetheart, but let’s get out of here before everyone wonders where the hell we’re at.”

  After donning parkas and boots plus other winter wear, they plunged through almost a foot of snow to reach the other cabin.

  Once inside, Nick enjoyed the knowing looks his family leveled on him and Abby. Jason and Nella teased them a little, but Abby seemed to enjoy the attention.

  Satisfaction filled Nick. He knew Abby wasn’t used to feeling this cared for, and he vowed from this day forward he’d lavish Abby with love for the rest of their lives. Abby filled corners of his soul he hadn’t realized he possessed until he’d made love with her last night. Whatever doubts lingered within Abby, he would show her his love was for eternity.

  Candace sat in the corner and glared, and when he gave her a pointed look she turned away. So be it. Obviously she planned to continue the spoiled toddler routine to the end. Insanity must have possessed him. How could he have ever dated Candace?

  Later, after they’d tucked into a hearty breakfast, he realized what he had to do. He’d acknowledged that he loved Abby, and now he wanted the whole world to know. He would propose to her in front of his family today. He wished he had an engagement ring to present her. Never mind. He wanted to give her a ring she wanted. They’d pick it out together.

  As he crunched bacon another thought clamored for space in his brain. Right. You’re assuming she loves you, too. That she’ll say yes. God, she has to say yes. I love her so damned much.

  Nick glanced at her, sitting beside him. Abby ate her breakfast without rush, a calm, contented expression on her face. He’d worried that Candace’s presence might bother her. Apparently, he was wrong. Candace sat at the table like a rock, pushing the food around her plate.

  When Abby caught him staring, he didn’t look away. Instead he threw her a grin packed with promises and memories of last night. Her cheeks pinked, and as a smile flirted with her mouth, he wanted to take her somewhere—anywhere—and sink deep into her welcoming body. Images of her sitting astride him, riding him like he was a bucking bronco, filled his head. Heat filled his face and he cleared his throat.

  Swallowing hard, he shoved aside his relentless hormones. They’d have time later. Tonight.

  “I’m surprised the storm didn’t knock out the electricity,” Abby said after she took a sip of orange juice.

  Nick looked up from his ham and scrambled eggs, but saw her attention centered on the rest of his family.

  “Guess as blizzards go it was only a baby storm,” Jason said, spooning baby food into first Jenna and then Laura.

  Nella grinned. “God, I’m glad I’m not pregnant and caught in this storm.”

  “I am,” Candace grumbled.

  All gazes swung to the brooding woman, but no one spoke. Nella looked like she wished she’d never said anything.

  Nick inhaled to ease the tension gathering in his body. “Maybe the plows will come up this way. It’ll make it easy to get out.”

  Candace swung a baleful glance in his direction. Her eyes glittered with a hard, unrelenting glare. “I was hoping someone would help me get my car out of the snow this morning. That way if they clear a path, it’ll be easy for me to get out.”

  “I’m sure someone will help,” Nick said.

  Tom, Jason, and Mason said they’d help her. Candace looked disappointed that Nick hadn’t volunteered, but he didn’t want anything to do with the deceitful woman. He couldn’t help but think she had another plan in mind.

  The weather blared from the radio, giving them a new report. “The snow has stopped, everyone. At least in most parts of metro Denver. Areas west of Denver are reporting high winds, but in areas such as Russel, they say the snow has come to a stop and so has the wind. Drifts up to two feet are reported in some communities.”

  Groans echoed around the room.

  “Guess it’s a good thing we’ll be staying one more day,” Mason said.

  Jason, Mason and Tom left the room with Candace, ready to trek outside and see whether her car could be excavated from the snow.

  Conversation filtered through the room with ease. Nick kept mum. He liked the sound of his family talking and didn’t want to spoil the warm, contented feeling it generated in his soul.

  And to think he’d left Denver to forget this holiday fervor. Now, because of Abby, he didn’t experience that sharp sorrow. Unlike last Christmas he absorbed the laughter, the jokes, and Abby’s tentative glances at him with building satisfa
ction. The horrible spell, woven about him when Deena had died, had vanished.

  He’d have memories of times with Deena, of the child that had never seen life. But in Abby’s arms he’d fallen deeply in love. Any storm that came from this day forward he’d weather. He’d fight for Abby’s love. Nick wanted to see her round with his child. He wanted to give her anything she wanted.

  Abby, I love you so much, his mind whispered to him all through breakfast. You’re a goner, Claussen. Well and surely gone.

  Before everyone finished eating, Nick took the time to scan the room. Other than Abby’s surly-looking uncle, his family and Abby’s aunt looked completely content.

  After breakfast, Nick volunteered to do dishes with his mother, and she kicked everyone else into the living area to drink early helpings of non-alcoholic eggnog.

  “You realize we’re never going to open our presents at this rate,” Brit said to Nick as she left the kitchen. She winked. “Somebody I know took a helluva long time getting out of bed this morning.”

  “Bug off,” Nick said mildly.

  As his mother chuckled and Brit left the room with a teasing grin, Nick wondered if anyone had heard his and Abby’s passionate encounter last night. He doubted it. They’d kept pretty quiet, despite the heart-pounding pleasure ramming through them.

  As his mother filled the sink with soapy water and started washing the breakfast dishes, her lips curved in a conspiratorial smile. “Abby is a wonderful woman, Nick.”

  “You’re telling me,” Nick said with a rough, husky nuance he couldn’t contain. Heat swamped him again. Heat and an unrelenting happiness.

  She grinned again. “I thought you’d say that.”

  He couldn’t look at her. “That easy to tell, eh?”

  “I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. Methinks it was love at first sight?”

  He chuckled. “Maybe lust at first glance. Then love immediately after. For me anyway.”

  “You don’t think she feels the same?”

  He leaned his hip against the side of the sink and crossed his arms. “I intend to find out today.”

  “Good. I spoke with her last night.” She sighed. “She seems fragile in a way. As if life has given her a battering.”

  He nodded. “Very perceptive, Mom. She’s had a lot to cope with in her life. At least when she was a child.”

  She sighed. “Something to do with her aunt and uncle, I take it?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, if anyone can make her happy, Nick, it’s you dear.”

  “I hope so.”

  Slipping off the rubber gloves, she tossed them on the edge of the sink. “You’ve never flinched from a challenge before, Nick. I don’t expect you to now. If you want her, go after her.”

  Nick smiled. “That’s all I want for Christmas.”

  “The tradition in this family is for Nick to play Santa to the rest of the family,” Mrs. Claussen said to Abby as Nick knelt under the tree to gather brightly colored packages into his arms.

  Abby sat on the couch next to Mrs. Claussen, a warm glow circling her heart. She’d never heard of one person in a family doing this. For a few seconds she recalled her aunt and uncle’s dreary Christmas ritual of reaching to pluck their own presents from under the tree. The whole thing had lacked warmth.

  With sun spilling through the cabin windows, a fire flaring strong in the grate, and the scent of cinnamon, coffee, and spices filling the living room, Abby’s heart lightened.

  As Nick handed each person a present, she thought about his plea for her trust. Though she loved Nick, would doubt remain until she knew whether Candace’s baby was his? What did it matter? Nick had vowed to support the baby if it was his child. It didn’t mean he couldn’t be trusted, and it didn’t mean they couldn’t love each other.

  She’d wanted a Christmas with all the trimmings, and here it was, beyond her wild dreams and vivid fantasies of the perfect Christmas. All around her laughter, smiles, and a wonderful glow filled the room. When had she ever felt so filled with charity, hope, and unending love? She couldn’t remember if another time had existed in her world.

  As mean as it sounded, Abby wished Candace had taken the hint to leave. Now that the men had helped her get her car out of the snow, she’d chosen to drive it up to the cabin rather than leaving right away. The only thing that eased Abby’s trepidation about the woman was that Nick hadn’t participated in removing her car from the snow.

  “Abby?” Nick stood in front of her with a small, highly decorated box that measured about five by seven.

  As she smiled and took the box from Nick, he grinned and handed another box to his mother, who sat to the right of Abby on the couch. Abby noted that although everyone else had presents, Candace nursed a cup of coffee. Naturally, since no one had expected her, no present resided under the tree for her. Soon the crunching, rattling, and crumbling noises mixed with exclamations and laughter.

  Abby savored her present, searching for a tag. Surprised filled her when she read the tag. To Abby. From Aunt Cassandra. For all your new memories.

  As she slowly stripped the silver and gold paper from her present, she revealed a beautiful blue leather journal with her initials engraved on the front.

  “Thank you, Aunt Cassandra,” she murmured, grinning widely.

  Her aunt nodded, happiness evident in the older woman’s eyes. Soon Aunt Cassandra and Uncle Dick had unwrapped their present from her, an assortment of fine cheeses, coffees, gourmet candies and cookies. Laughter erupted as Mason produced a gag gift from his wife and daughter.

  “Bunny slippers?” he asked as he pulled the floppy, huge things from a box. “Just my size, too.”

  When Nick handed Abby another present, she gaped in surprise, then laughed when she saw he’d placed ribbons around his neck and decorated the rest of his body with bows.

  “Tradition?” she asked, looking at Nick’s father and mother.

  “Don’t ask me,” Mr. Claussen said. “He’s been doing that ever since I can remember.”

  “I think it’s cute,” Abby said, then blushed. “Very fashionable.”

  Brit tossed Nick another ribbon. “Are you trying to go for the drag queen of the year award?”

  Nick’s evil grin leveled on his sister. “You’re disgusting, Brit.”

  Everyone but Candace and Uncle Dick laughed. Abby’s imagination grew wings and she wondered if Candace and Uncle Dick would make a perfect couple. Yuck.

  Nick took one of the ribbons from around his neck and placed the royal blue strand around Abby’s neck. He kissed her forehead. “This looks better on you, beautiful.”

  Gazing into his eyes, she let a heady excitement slide through her like thick, sweet cream.

  Seconds later Nick handed her another box, then another. Finally she had boxes from Mason and his family, Brit and Tom, and Nella and Jason. Mason and family had given her a beautiful silk scarf in a rainbow of vivid colors. Brit and Tom had given her leather bookmarks, and Nella and Jason had given her a giant set of two coffee mugs that proclaimed, “Booklovers never lose their place.” The mugs said on the other side, “Booklovers do it in the stacks.” Another round of laughter went around the room when she held up the mugs for inspection.

  At last Nick was adorned from head to foot with ribbons and bows. He’d given out each box until only two small presents remained.

  “Hey, Nick, ever think of taking up a circus clown act?” Mason asked Nick.

  “Every day.” He shrugged and one bow slipped from his head and bounced onto the floor. “It would go with my Santa act.”

  “Whose presents are those?” Brit asked, nodding toward the tiny box sitting under the tree.

  “How could I forget?” Nick winked at Abby and retrieved one of the presents. He handed it to her. “From me.”

  Everyone’s gazes slid to Abby, and she felt their attention clear through her bones. Uncomfortable, flushed with the heat of the room and embarrassment, she stared at the package.


  “Go on, sweetie, open it,” Mrs. Claussen said.

  Anna pitched a bow at Nick, then said to Abby, “Hurry up. I can’t stand the suspense.”

  It seemed a lifetime before Abby removed all of the silver, angel decorated paper. A black velvet box. Abby’s heart thumped, and when she opened the box she released a gasp and then a laugh. Nestled inside the white velvet interior was the cutest little elf pin. As she turned the box slightly, small four diamond chip buttons twinkled on the elf’s green garments. Gold and diamonds. It must have cost Nick a fortune. A tremor of shock and happiness rocketed through her. She held it so everyone could see.

  The women in the room exclaimed happily, the men slanted grins at Abby but didn’t say a word at first. She didn’t know what to say, her thoughts jumbled in excitement.

  “Thank you, Nick.” Abby’s voice held a hoarse inflection filled with subtle joy. “It’s wonderful.”

  “For Elf Books,” Nick said softly, dropping to one knee in front of her. “For the most enchanting woman I know.”

  While her gaze trapped his and intensifying heat grew between them, the entire room hushed. Abby didn’t realize everyone had stopped talking, practically stopped moving as they watched what would occur next. Nick cleared his throat, finally tearing his hot gaze from hers.

  “One present left,” Mrs. Claussen said.

  A hush stilled everyone. Nick stared at the box so long Abby thought he might not open it. Slowly he flipped up the lid.

  His eyes widened as he beheld Abby’s present. “Clever, very clever.” His silly grin translated into a laugh, and then he held up the box for inspection. “I think I’ve seen this guy somewhere before.”

  Fat Santa cuff links of 14-karat gold resided inside the box. Nick didn’t hesitate to draw close to Abby, still propped on one knee. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

  His soft endearment, loud enough for all to hear, made Abby blush with pleasure. “You’re welcome.”

  For a wild, heart-stopping moment she thought he might kiss her in front of everyone. It was there in his eyes. In the need she saw heating his expression.

  “Maybe I should wear these on my wedding day.” Nick’s voice held quiet happiness, and Abby realized everyone could hear.

 

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