“Is that so?” I teased.
“Yep.”
“What if I have plans?”
“You do. With me.”
“I get to pick this time.”
“As long as it’s pizza, beer, and—”
“Pretty Woman,” I said triumphantly.
He groaned. “I guess two out of three ain’t bad.”
The air shifted between us.
“Why did you come here?” The question was soft and wound around us like a cocoon. But I needed to know.
Holt sighed and pressed his lips to the top of my head. “My brother insisted we have lunch. He wanted to talk about things I didn’t. I got upset and ended up here.”
Was it possible for a man to need me the way I needed him?
“Sounds crazy, right?” He gave me a sheepish smile.
“A little.” I kissed the corner of his mouth. “But I get it.”
The tension in his body released on a long exhale. “I better get back to work. Ed’s gonna kill me.”
“We wouldn’t want that.”
He banded his arms around my back. “Thanks, Easy.”
I weaved my fingers through his hair, and a jolt of electricity tingled through me. “See you at home.”
“I might be late.”
“Then I’ll see you when you get there.”
Holt loosened his hold on me, and I immediately felt the loss. He captured my face in his hands and lowered his lips to mine. I whimpered in relief at the first touch, fisting his coveralls for support.
“This your gloss stuff?” He ran his tongue across my lips. I nodded. “You’re gonna drive men everywhere crazy; it tastes so good.”
“I don’t plan on kissing anyone but you.”
He grinned. “I’m definitely glad to hear that.” He dipped down and brushed his lips against mine. “I meant all the women who will wear it. Men are going to write so many thank you notes we’ll fill up the garage.”
I slapped at his chest. “Stop it.”
“I mean it.” He smirked. “Except we’re all going to get fired because we can’t stop kissing our women.”
He shrugged and then his lips were on mine again, all tenderness gone. Desperation infused the kiss. I’d never needed anyone the way I did him. It was more than physical. I was just happier when he was around. And I told him so through our kiss.
I hooked a leg around his hip. He lifted me by the waist and moved until my back hit the wall. I kneaded his hair. He pressed his body against mine. I lashed my tongue with his. He nipped my lip.
On a grunt, he ripped his mouth from mine. “Gotta stop, Easy. Or I won’t.”
The heat in his gaze set me on fire. “I don’t want to.”
Our chests heaved as we stared at one another.
“I’ll see you tonight.” He scowled as he spoke and made no move to let me go.
“Okay.”
He kissed my cheek and took a reluctant step back. His eyes ran down my dress. He smoothed it back in place and examined his work.
“I didn’t get you dirty.”
“Yet.” I dished out the signature Dixon wink and pushed off the wall.
He grabbed my hand and caged me between the door and his solid body. “Yet,” he whispered against my ear.
Goosebumps rose on my flesh. He reached around me and pressed the bar to open the door. I stepped into the lobby.
Holt called the elevator, and I waited with him for it to arrive. He kissed my temple like he couldn’t help himself. I looked down at the floor and smiled.
“What’s that about?” Holt hooked his thumb under my chin.
“Baker.”
I jumped at Hayden’s voice. Her eyes dropped down to where Holt and my hands were joined before they drifted back up to him.
“Um, Hayden. This is Holt Dixon.” I gestured awkwardly between them. “My roommate,” I explained quickly. Her smile was mischievous. He flinched, but recovered quickly.
“And you’re the boss,” he said with ease.
“You’ve heard of me. I’m not sure that’s good.” She shuddered.
He gave her his easy grin. The one I was sure he’d drawn in many a woman with. “All good. No need for concern.”
“Glad to hear it.” She turned to me. “Were you heading out?”
“No. Holt just came by for a quick visit.”
“Then come with me. I want you to see the process of finalizing an issue.”
Holt dropped my hand and chucked my shoulder. “See you at home, roomie.”
The stab of the word slashed my gut. He caught the closing elevator door and disappeared inside before I could respond.
We’d just gotten back on track, but it felt like we’d already derailed.
Chapter Nineteen
Holt
I’d been a step away from blowing her off.
But damn it, my desire to see Baker far outweighed my irritation.
I shoved the front door open and kicked it closed. Baker jumped when it slammed.
“Hi.” The greeting came out more like a question. She edged closer to the counter, her eyes wary as I stalked across the room.
Wordlessly, I dumped the pizza, beer, and my keys on the island. Her breath stopped when I stepped into her space.
“You just wanna be roommates?” The sentence was a tease. But I wanted her to know exactly how much I was beginning to hate that word.
“I—”
“Because it’s completely your call.” I cut her off, inching my face closer to hers.
“How was I supposed to describe you to my boss? I have no idea what we are.”
“You could have just left it at my name. Instead, you tacked on a roommate at the last second like you didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. Never mind that we were holding hands.” I paced in the small space between the island and the cooktop. Maybe I had no right to be aggravated over that, but it was official. I definitely hated that word. Especially when it came to Baker and me.
“I—” She paused and deflated. “I don’t know why I said it. As soon as the word popped out, I wanted to take it back.”
I studied her face. She was telling the truth, and that relieved me more than it should.
“You know how you hate the word space. Well, I despise the word roommate. Never refer to me as that again.”
“But you are.” She threw up her hands.
“I don’t want to be anymore.”
She recoiled, and I realized the mistake of what I’d said.
Her chin lifted, that perfect face lowering a shield to hide her hurt. “Are you moving or am I?”
The world slammed to a stop. “Nobody is going anywhere.”
“You’re right,” she said, a minuscule amount of relief knifing through my consuming anger. “I like this apartment. And I’m not letting you push me out of it. So if you’re not happy, you’ll have to be the one to go.”
I stared at her, stunned into silence and proud of her at once for standing her ground. Somehow I sensed she needed that. But I meant what I said.
“I think we’re both feeling our way through this,” I started, trying to stay calm. She stared at me, unimpressed. “I sure as hell didn’t expect this.” I gestured between us.
Baker folded her arms across her chest. She saw right through my half-truth. On the one hand, I saw us coming a mile away. It was one reason I proposed we lived together in the first place. But I hadn’t anticipated this clawing need I had for her. Hadn’t expected how much I liked living with her. Being around her. How much I wanted to break my own rules and go all in with her. But I couldn’t. And I should have told her that from the start.
“I can’t give you what you want.”
She tapped her foot. “How do you have any idea what I want?”
“Commitment. Am I right?”
The look she shot me made me question my rationale. All the women I’d ever known wanted commitment, even when they changed their minds.
“No. I’m not anywhere near ready for that.”
She rolled her eyes. “With anybody.”
Somehow, that didn’t sit well with me. “I guess I should have asked.”
“I guess you should have.” She softened. “I didn’t ask what you wanted, either.”
Wow. Hadn’t expected this.
The woman constantly took me by surprise.
“I like coming home to you.” I clamped my mouth shut after the words came out unfiltered.
“I’m not trying to force you into anything,” she said quietly.
Maybe that was the problem. She was more casual about whatever this was between us than I was.
“I know.” Damn it. I plucked a beer out of the six pack I’d left on the counter. I unscrewed the cap and offered the bottle to her. Baker accepted, and I watched her delicate throat work as she swallowed.
“Did some spill on my chin?” She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand while I watched like it was the most fascinating thing I’d ever seen.
“No.” I shook my head a few times and grabbed my own beer. “Want some pizza?”
She gaped at me. “That’s it? Now you want to eat?”
“Yeah.” I shrugged one shoulder. “I guess we said our piece. I’m ready to move on if you are.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
I snatched the box off the counter and followed her to the sofa. She snagged a slice of pizza and eyed me suspiciously.
“What?”
“What are we going to call roommate night now?” She mouthed the word, a scandalous look in her eyes.
“Date night?” I tore off a bite of pizza and reached for the remote.
She paused mid-sip of her beer. I glanced over and continued eating as if I hadn’t just dropped a bomb.
“That sounds awfully commity to me,” she said carefully.
“You scared?”
“Nope. Date night it is.” She lifted her bottle to me and we clinked. “This doesn’t mean we’re serious.”
“Suits me.” I switched on the TV. “But Baker?”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t want you giving anyone else my kisses.”
Her breath hitched before she leveled me with a saucy look. “As long as you aren’t showering with other people, I think we’re good.”
I sank back in the cushions and threw my arm around her shoulders. “We’re better than good.”
Chapter Twenty
Baker
I have whiplash.
Pure and simple.
This day had been so full of highs and lows, I wasn’t sure if I was at the top of the hill or down at the bottom. Lying here, curled up on the sofa with Holt snoring in my ear, was a satisfying end.
He’d barely made it half an hour into the movie before his breathing turned even. I, on the other hand, couldn’t turn my brain off.
The torrent of displeasure that had come home had calmed into this. He’d not only been annoyed about my roommate comment, but insulted.
Had we really resolved anything? Neither of us wanted anything too serious, yet we weren’t seeing other people. Wasn’t that commitment?
His phone buzzed on the coffee table, the sound piercing in the quiet living room.
“Easy?” Holt stirred, halfway between sleep and awake.
“Your phone.”
I reached over and picked it up. Celia. That jealousy flared as I held it out to him.
He silenced the call and tossed the phone on the floor. “Movie was good,” he murmured in my ear.
“Oh yeah? What happened?”
“They lived happily ever after.”
I snickered. “Lucky guess.”
“I don’t wanna move,” he moaned, nuzzling my hair.
“You’ll regret it in the morning if you don’t.”
Holt sat up, taking me with him. “Off to bed with you.”
He scooped me into his arms.
“Put me down. You’ll hurt yourself.”
“I’m wounded. I thought you were impressed by my arm muscles.”
I was. So, so impressed.
“I can’t see them, so I’ve forgotten.”
“Pssh. Forgotten.” He carried me straight to his bedroom. “Flip on the light, please.”
I turned on the bedside lamp, and he dumped me on the bed. In seconds, he’d shed his shirt. Damn, I was one lucky girl.
“I’ll take it by the O-shape of your mouth you remember.”
I shrugged, and he prowled over to me. He placed his hands on the mattress on either side of me and touched his nose to mine.
“I like how we can let stuff go.”
I wrinkled my brow. “Have you let it go?”
“Yeah. I’m ready for the make-up sex part.”
I shoved at his shoulders. “That’s why you picked a fight in the first place.”
“You are beautiful when you’re mad.” His grin was wolfish as he crawled on top of me. A growl escaped me. “See what I mean?”
My heart flipped over on itself.
“I don’t like to fight,” I confessed. Arguments always left me feeling raw and drained.
“Then let’s not do it again.”
He kissed me like it was the most natural thing in the world, an answer to the question of what we were. This. We were this right here. Two people who couldn’t stay away from each other.
His phone vibrated again from the living room.
“Who is she?” The fear I didn’t want to show slipped into my voice.
“No one.”
The sharpness of his tone made me flinch. His expression softened, and he ran his thumb over my eyebrows.
“I-I’m not asking for a label, but I can’t do this if you’re with someone else.”
“I would never cheat. Never.”
“Okay.” I felt the conviction in his words, but a seed of uncertainty took root.
He cupped my jaw with his hand. “You know my mother left us after I was born. But did you know it was for another man. One she’d been seeing behind my father’s back.”
“I didn’t,” I said quietly. “But I had my suspicions.”
“Andrew thinks it was for years. Dad won’t talk about it. But I’ve seen firsthand what cheating does. Nothing good comes of it, I promise you.”
I might not have known exactly what infidelity was like as he did, but it was easy to see what it had done to his family.
“You all deserved more.”
He diverted his eyes for so long, I wasn’t sure what he was going to do. When his gaze finally landed back on mine, the intensity stole my breath.
“Do you think I look like my family?”
My lips parted and then closed. The hurt he’d carried his entire life pressed on my chest. “Yes.”
I searched his face, fingered a lock of his hair. His was more of a caramel shade of brown compared to his father’s and brother’s. Marlow’s was nearly black. There was a slight wave in Holt’s, where the rest of theirs was straight. But I’d never seen his mother. And those differences alone were hardly cause to believe he was only half their blood.
Mr. Dixon and Andrew weren’t clones, though when the two of them were together, there was no mistaking they were father and son. His sister was a little more difficult to tell. I’d never really considered them that closely.
“Are you saying . . .”
“I’m not one hundred percent certain Dad is my biological father.”
What? Oh no. How did he deal with the weight of that?
“Why would you think that?”
“My mother had an affair. I’m pretty sure she was sleeping with someone else at the time she got pregnant with me.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Just putting two and two together.”
“Sometimes that doesn’t equal four.”
He turned his mouth down in a bitter frown. “The facts don’t lie.”
“Have you ever talked to any of your family about this?”
“They’d de
ny it.”
I hesitated before speaking. “Your mother would know better than anyone.”
He rolled over, taking me with him. “I need to know,” he started, pushing a lock of hair from my face. “But I’m not sure I want to.”
I tried to think about what I’d do in his situation. What I’d want, how I’d feel. I came up confused and empty.
“I’ve got a family who loves me unconditionally, which is more than some people ever have.” His fingers traced circles absently on my back. “She left us. Left me. I should just let it go. Be thankful for what I have.”
At least he realized how fortunate he was to have the family he did. Not everyone’s family stuck by them, wanted them as an active part of their lives. What would I have given for even one parent to have Sunday dinner with every week?
“Would it change anything? If you found out your dad wasn’t really your dad?”
“No.” He shook his head vehemently. “He’s the only father I have, even if my DNA says differently.”
“Wouldn’t it hurt him to find out otherwise?”
He closed his eyes, his features fraught with concern. “Badly.”
“And you don’t want to do that.”
He shook his head, eyes turbulent when he opened them. “For years, I’ve struggled between being happy with what I have and my curiosity. I thought I wanted a chance to talk to my mother as much as I’d ever wanted anything. But when the chance presented itself, I wasn’t so eager. In fact, I’m not sure I want to speak to her at all.”
“Then don’t.” I understood the need for truth, but that woman had had a lot of years to make things right with her children. Why now?
“Would you? Want the truth, I mean.”
“The truth isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.” I folded my hands on his chest and rested my chin on them.
“No. I guess it’s not.” Knowing was in his eyes, and I didn’t think it had a thing to do with his family situation.
“Let’s just say you met someone. And hypothetically speaking, their past was ugly. Something that had you known from the beginning, you’d have had nothing to do with them. But you don’t know. And you like them. Like the person they are. Would you want to know the truth?”
“Is it something that defines them? Is it part of who they are that they’re hiding from me?”
Trust Me: A Roommates To Lovers Romance Novel (Free Book 2) Page 11