by Kasey Krane
“They threatened to kill my mother. In a horrible way that would make her death far from peaceful. She doesn’t deserve that.” With those words, I broke down.
As much as I had tried, I couldn’t keep it together anymore. It was too hard. It was exhausting. I kept up appearances and put on a show of being calm for the past week, but now I couldn’t anymore.
The truth was out there. Aidan knew I was spying on him. That I was working for his enemy. I didn’t have to hide it anymore. Whatever punishment came my way, I deserved it.
I covered my face with my hands while I sobbed wildly.
“They said I had to get close to you. That I had to find whatever information I could on you and your family. Information they could use against you. I didn’t even know what I was looking for. I just…did what they asked me to, because I had to protect my mother. I know we’ve had our issues in the past and she did some horrible things to me. I know she was manipulative and I’ll never forgive her for that, but she’s my mother.”
I dragged my hands away from my face. I didn’t care anymore about how ugly I looked when I cried. He got to see one of my ugliest sides anyway.
“And no matter what she’s done in her lifetime, she doesn’t deserve to die a horrible painful death because of me. I can’t…I don’t want to be responsible for something like that. Nobody deserves to be murdered because of me.”
I shook as I burst into more sobs.
I wasn’t trying to garner Aidan’s sympathy. I knew he wouldn’t have any for me. After all, I didn’t deserve any of it from him.
He sat so still like a statue that for a few moments, I wondered if he’d even heard all the things I said. Did he understand what I said? Did he care?
I wiped my cheeks and breathed in deeply. I had to compose myself. I didn’t want him thinking I put on an act to sway him. I held my chin up, looking at him down my nose.
“I’m willing to do whatever you think I should do. Punish me however you want, I’ll take it. I know I deserve it. Just please, Aidan. I’m begging you, leave my mother out of this. She doesn’t have long to live. Just let her die naturally and in peace.” My lips quivered as I met his steady cold gaze.
I didn’t expect him to honor my request. I expected him to be ruthless.
Then he squared his shoulders, filling his lungs with the same air I breathed. Finally, said something and I had goosebumps all over my skin.
I didn’t want to know…
“Leah, I’m going to make sure nothing happens to your mother.”
Twenty-Three
Aidan
Yeah, I wasn’t expecting that either.
I knew there was something up.
Ever since I’d seen that guy talking to Leah, I’d known there was more to that scene than I allowed myself to assume.
I just kept making excuses on Leah’s behalf because I wanted to keep seeing her. Because I liked having her back in my life. Most of all, I liked fucking her and I wanted to keep fucking her.
But there were no excuses to be made. She’d admitted to everything. She told me exactly what Aldo Baron’s connection to her was. She spied on me for the Barons.
Leah stood sobbing in front of me. Tears streamed heavily down her cheeks and I could see she wasn’t faking it. She did this because they threatened her. Physically and emotionally. She did this because she wanted to protect her mother.
As much as it pissed me off that she was working with the Barons and betraying me—I understood it.
Wouldn’t I have done it for my mother?
The only thing that bothered me was that she didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth from the get go. She had ample opportunities to come clean to me and she didn’t.
But then again, what would I have done in her place?
We hadn’t seen each other in five years. She abandoned me and our relationship out of the blue. She knew I was pissed at her. She knew I didn’t view her in a favorable light anymore. So if she came to me with the complaint that she was being threatened by the Barons to spy on me, what did she expect me to do?
She expected me to ditch her. To push her away. To either refuse to believe her or ignore her completely. Then, where would that leave her?
Even as I thought those thoughts and watched her crying her eyes out, I couldn’t help but ask myself—was I simply justifying her actions again?
And if I was, then what did that say about me?
Was I justifying her decisions and giving her the benefit of the doubt because I had feelings for her?
It was time to get real and face the music. What did I really feel for her?
What would happen next?
Where was this relationship going?
Leah stared at me with her big wet green eyes like she was in utter shock.
Honestly, I shocked myself too.
I didn’t think I could forgive her for this. Nobody would believe I actually offered her mother protection despite what Leah had just told me.
Had I lost my mind or did this mean something?
Something deeper that I didn’t want to admit.
Maybe Leah meant more to me than I ever realized. Maybe she was the girl who would bring me to my knees and if she knew the kind of power she had on me—well, that was fucking terrifying.
“So what kind of information have you given them?” I asked.
Leah wrung her hands together, twisting her fingers and clenching her fists. I hated seeing her like this. So broken up and shattered. I wanted to pull her to me and hold her close. I wanted to stroke her hair and tell her it was all going to be okay.
But I was still at war with myself. Did she deserve this? Did she deserve my sympathy?
“I took a few pictures of documents I found in your office that night in your apartment. I snuck out of the room when you were asleep.”
I couldn’t recall it but I mustn’t have noticed it at all. The look I gave her told her I expected her to go on.
“But I haven’t given them anything yet. I haven’t had an opportunity to. I’m not going to lie to you, Aidan. If they came to me and demanded it, I probably would have had no choice but to hand over what I found. They scare me. They make me afraid for my life and my mother’s.”
“Did they hurt you? Did they touch you?” I growled.
She gulped, shaking her head.
“Not really. They roughed me up a little, but nothing more than that.”
“Not yet,” I added.
She looked away.
“Aidan, I don’t know what else to say. I have no excuses. I don’t deserve your kindness or your forgiveness. I am willing to face the consequences, whatever they may be, but I’ll truly be grateful if you just keep my mother out of this.”
I went up close to her, but she didn’t move.
If she was afraid of me, she wasn’t showing it. She even dared to look me in the eye. She finally owned up to the secret she was hiding and maybe she was just relieved.
“I told you I’ll make sure nothing happens to her.”
She nodded.
“And as for the rest…” Her nostrils flared as she listened to me intently. Like she was a convicted criminal waiting to hear her judgement. “I’m going to make that motherfucker pay for ever laying a finger on you.”
A solitary tear rolled down Leah’s cheek. I was sure that if I touched her now, she would burst into flames.
But I touched her anyway. I needed to.
I placed a hand on her hip and drew her close to me.
“I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve anything,” she murmured.
I kissed her forehead and she fell on me, burying her face in my chest as she broke into more bitter sobs.
I weaved my fingers in her long silky hair. There wasn’t anything on Earth that felt as good as having her in my arms. Didn’t she realize, I would forgive her anything?
“You didn’t have a choice, Leah. I know I’m many things, but I’m not a tyrant like Aldo Baron. You are his victim. He�
��s the fucking monster.”
I poured her a glass of orange juice from the jug she’d placed on the kitchen counter.
I’d already forced her to sit down and catch her breath because she still brokeg into sobs every few minutes.
“I’m sorry, Aidan. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for all this. I can’t believe I was on the verge of giving you up,” she murmured, wiping her nose with the back of her hand.
Leah took the glass from me and sipped some juice.
“It wouldn’t have made a difference. There isn’t much you could have found that they could have used on us. Aldo Baron is scared. He’s shitting himself. And honestly, it’s laughable that he’s stooped so low.”
“It doesn’t matter if he would have been able to bring you down or not. I hate the fact that he got to me.”
“You have to forgive yourself because I forgive you. I understand why you agreed to do what he asked. He wasn’t asking you either.”
She put down the glass and reached for my hand. I noticed how her fingers shook. Maybe because she still didn’t believe I actually forgave her.
“Your family…they would never forgive me. Not after what I did five years ago and not after this.”
She weaved her fingers with mine and pulled them to her face. I stroked her damp cheek with my thumb.
“If they find out, I don’t give a shit what they think of you. And neither should you.”
Those words rung a bell in her head.
They surely rung a bell in mine.
What did that mean?
Why didn’t I care what my family thought?
I was so close to admitting how I really felt about her. I’d never said those words to her or to anyone else. I wasn’t sure I even knew how to say them.
Love? It sounded overrated. It sounded weak. It wasn’t for me and I wasn’t made for it.
Whatever love was—I didn’t deserve to have it because I didn’t know how to give it.
Most importantly, a girl like Leah deserved it. It didn’t matter what she thought of herself. I knew who she was.
Kind, beautiful, a phoenix rising from the ashes of her past. She had a bright future ahead of her and maybe she deserved to be with someone who could give her the world and fill it with love.
I almost choked.
“What are we doing here, Aidan?” she asked meekly.
I knew what she wanted to hear, but the words stuck in my throat. If I said them now, there’d be no taking them back.
I wanted to protect her. I would keep her safe—but past that, I wasn’t going to make her promises I didn’t know how to keep.
“Isn’t it obvious what we’re doing here?” Her face was ashen pale as she waited to hear me say the words. “We’re having fun.”
Leah turned to walk away from me, but I grabbed her before she could go.
My fingers instantly went to the zipper at the back of her tight short dress. I needed to see her naked again.
Maybe if I sucked on her tits, everything would be okay. Maybe if I was inside her, I wouldn’t have to think about all the messed up shit.
Leah struggled in my grip to get away and before I knew it, she’d slipped away from me.
“Where are you going?” I asked calmly as she strode out of the kitchen. She threw me a flaming look over her shoulder.
“I was looking for honesty in your answer, Aidan.”
“You don’t think we’re having fun?” I asked in a low voice. I knew there was a grin on my face and she didn’t like seeing it there. She wanted a different response from me.
However, from the way her cheeks were flushed, I got the sense she was also as turned on as I was.
“There’s a point when all the fun and games end,” she snapped.
“Why does it have to end? Who says it has to ever end?”
She stood at the kitchen door, and it looked like she’d crumble to the floor any moment now. She gulped nervously.
“I do. I can’t live off fun and fucks.”
It made me smile wider, but she didn’t think that was funny either. I had to hand it to her—she looked fucking adorable when she was mad at me.
“Come back here,” I said drowsily, but she backed away.
“I’m leaving. I’m sure we both have enough to think about.”
This time I followed her. I wasn’t going to let her leave. She wasn’t going anywhere. Not until I told her too. And I wasn’t sure I ever would.
She rushed down the hallway but didn’t have any shoes on. I got to her before she got to the main door.
I grabbed her by her waist again and pulled her to me.
“Admit it, Leah, you don’t actually want to leave.”
She placed her hands on my chest and tried pushing me away, but I felt her resolve cracking. Her hips thrust into me. I just knew she was wet for me.
“I need time to think.”
“Think about what?” I asked, leaning into her and nibbling on her earlobe.
She tried to suppress a gasp. She’d always liked it when I did this.
“About everything. Come on, Aidan! You don’t think something big is going on here? If you don’t want to…face reality, that’s fine. But I need to!”
Somehow, she managed to slip out of my arms again.
I let her go. I wasn’t going to force her into anything. Least of all, into fucking me.
She opened the door and went out, slamming it shut behind her.
I stood there, staring at the door, feeling like the walls closed in on me, and then the doorbell rang.
I opened it and she stood outside. Her face was flushed, she was on the verge of tears again.
“I don’t have any shoes on,” she said.
I held out my hand and she took it.
I pulled her in and slammed the door.
Our mouths fuzed before another word was exchanged. Her hands were all over me, pulling my shirt off and undoing my pants. I took her dress apart and it fell to the floor.
I pushed her into the wall, pulling her legs up so she wrapped them around my waist.
I thrust myself into her as soon as I peeled her panties down. She sighed and moaned with the thrust.
“Tell me how much you want this,” I groaned as I plowed into her.
I had her pinned to the wall while she bounced in my arms with every thrust.
“I don’t want anything else. Just you. Always you,” she replied.
Then she bit my lip and I bit her back, fucking her harder at the same time. She arched back, knocking her head against the wall.
Her skin looked flawless. I took her nipple in my mouth and sucked while she rolled her hips. I was deep inside her, banging into her body.
Leah continued in a dazed voice, like she had no control over her words anymore.
“I want your cock all day long. And all night. I don’t want to think about anything else. I just want you to fuck me.”
I tore her away from that wall, spinning her around and pushing her into the wall across from us.
She swung in my arms, clinging to my shoulders for dear life.
I was still deep inside her and I thrust harder. She whispered my name, bouncing and shuddering.
Her thighs quivered while I was wedged between them. Wild grunting sounds erupted from me that I’d never heard before.
This was what she did to me.
I fucked her like this because I hoped that when I came—I wouldn’t remember my real feelings for her. That I’d fuck them out of my system. Maybe it was just about the sex.
Who was I kidding?
It wasn’t.
I’d had my fair share of wild sex with other chicks. Nothing else was anywhere close to this.
When she came, she cried my name and apologized at the same time. She still thought about it—about how sorry she was about the spying and the Barons. So the sex didn’t solve anything.
I came inside her, burying my seed deep within. When I was done, I pulled out and helped
her slide down to the floor.
Leah curled up and I joined her. I didn’t want her to break into tears again, so I pulled her close to me and held her.
I was willing to hold her for as long as she wanted.
Sex may not have solved any of our problems, but it felt fucking great.
Twenty-Four
Leah
Why wouldn’t he just say it?
All he had to do was say those three special words. For once in his life, couldn’t he just admit how he really felt?
If he didn’t love me, why was he willing to forgive my spying? Why did he care what really happened to me? Why did he give a fuck what happened to my mother?
Aidan Doherty was in love with me. I knew he was. I could feel it in the way he held me after sex, like he didn’t want me to slip away or cry. Then why wouldn’t he say the words?
Was he lying to himself too? Refusing to admit his feelings? What was he so afraid of?
Would it make him less man and more human?
He had dominated me. Just when I thought I had the upper hand by walking away from him, he dragged me back in here. I was so close to giving him a taste of his own medicine, but I couldn’t stay away.
I wanted him with a deep burning desire that would never diminish.
I didn’t know how long we laid like that on the floor, just embracing and kissing softly. It was starkly different to the way we had sex. He fucked me hard and rough, and now he showed me a softer side to him.
But I wanted to show him that I had a rough and hard side to me too.
I sat up. He looked at me with furrowed brows, not quite sure what I was about to do.
I threw one leg over him before he could react and straddled him.
Aidan’s eyes narrowed and I sensed that he wanted to sit up, but I wouldn’t let him.
I grabbed both his wrists and pulled his arms over his head.
I knew he was stronger. He knew it too. He could push me over any time he wanted, but he must have seen the steely determination in my eyes. I used all the strength and weight of my body to keep him pinned to the floor.