by Kasey Krane
Instead, Mom smiled at me softly.
“I will always regret not taking the opportunity to get to know him. I should have given you credit when you told me about him back then. I should have known you would find the right man for yourself.”
I was relieved and upset at the same time. Couldn’t she have had this epiphany five years ago? It would have saved everyone a lot of misery.
She must have noticed the stoniness that took shape in my eyes.
“I’m truly sorry for everything, Leah. I know I made a big mistake and I wish I could change everything. I would have wanted you to be happy, rather than stop you from being with the man your father didn’t approve of. I’m sorry, honey.”
Mom had tears in her eyes and so did I.
I wiped my cheeks and looked away.
“Well, I wish I could turn back time too. I wish I could change my decisions. I told Aidan about our son.”
Mom gasped, and I heard it even though she tried to suppress it.
“What did he say?”
“He’s upset, and I can’t blame him. He told me he needs time to come to terms with what I did, but I don’t think he’ll ever be able to forgive me. I don’t think we have a future together.”
“I’m so sorry, honey.”
I shook my head.
“You didn’t force me to give the baby up. I did that myself. I ran away from Aunt Celia’s home and I decided to fend for myself, when I should have kept that baby close to me. Now, Aidan will never see his son. I won’t be able to watch him grow.”
Mom was unusually silent. When I looked up at her, I could see she was thinking intently about something.
“What kind of adoption was it?” she asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Did you ever look into the terms of the adoption? Was it open ended? If it was, there might still be a chance for you to trace him. His parents might be open to you and Aidan being a part of his life.”
I stared at her in shock.
“I…I never looked into it because it was too painful. I didn’t want to be disappointed. I thought I lost all my chances.”
A flicker of a smile danced on my mother’s lips.
“Honey, we have a few phone calls to make.”
Twenty-Nine
Aidan
A few days had gone by since I last saw Leah. I still went to sleep every night and woke up thinking about her. She was always the first thought in my head—followed by the thought that I would never get to see my son’s face. I was never going to find out if he was okay.
How was I supposed to live with that?
But the more time I spent away from Leah, the more intense my thoughts became. I wanted to see her. Just from a distance. Just to make sure she was doing okay.
In my effort to deal with Aldo Baron and his plan, I’d spoken to Colin and told him everything. He lost his shit when he heard that Aldo tried to use Leah to spy on us.
At least now, I had one of my brothers on my side. But still there was Leah…and the fact that I didn’t know how to get past the decision she’d made about our son.
I decided to go see her, but promised myself I wouldn’t actually talk to her. The last thing we needed was to fall back in bed together. I knew that would be my first instinct, to fuck her to try to get her out of my system.
Not that it had worked in the past.
I rode over to her apartment building and parked some distance away so she wouldn’t notice me or my bike. I walked the rest of the distance to the building.
I noticed the motherfuckers the moment the block came into view. Maybe they thought they did a good job of hiding, but they were in plain sight of me.
There were at least four of them, dotted around the block, watching the building. Baron men.
It seemed like Leah wasn’t home and they were probably lying in wait for her to make an appearance. Why four? Why did Aldo need four men to deal with one harmless woman?
Unless shit was just about to hit the fan.
Maybe this was it.
Aldo had run out of patience. He was tired of waiting for Leah to come up with information on me. Maybe he’d already figured out she’d snitched on him. He would take her out to teach me a lesson. Was he going to take out the old lady in the hospital too?
Fuck.
I remained out of sight as I made the phone call to Colin. I told him what was going on and he told me to stay where I was.
I wasn’t going anywhere.
No way was I going to let Leah walk into this fuckin’ trap.
It felt like hours until Colin finally showed up. But it was just ten minutes.
The Baron men hadn’t moved, which was perfect, because they were the perfect sitting targets for the sniper shots we were about to rain on their sorry asses.
It didn’t take long.
One, two, three. Pop. Pop. Pop.
Colin got one and I got the other simultaneously. I aimed next at the third one, who was closest to the door. Then pulled the trigger.
None of them saw it coming. It was done in a matter of minutes.
Three Baron men lay on the ground, bleeding out at their fuckin’ hideout spots.
The fourth guy, who was farthest from the building, finally noticed his friends had fallen on the ground. He panicked and started running towards them.
Colin and I exchanged looks. We both ran up to him from behind and I wrapped an arm around his neck tight to the point of suffocation.
He cursed and wriggled in my arms, but I had him in my grip.
Colin looked around to make sure the coast was clear. The problem was it was still daylight, although we hadn’t been spotted yet. It was a quiet neighborhood and nobody had walked by yet.
Colin tipped his head, indicating that I drag the guy behind the building.
He then tied a rope around his mouth to keep him from shouting and making too much noise. Then he grabbed him, pulling him out of my grip.
I bunched up my fist and rammed it into the guy’s face. His shouts were muffled by the rope and his face bled.
I didn’t give a shit.
If Leah came home before I had gotten there, this guy wouldn’t have thought twice before pumping a few bullets in her head. I had no sympathy for this asshole.
Colin held him up so I could go at him again.
“The only reason you’re still alive, motherfucker, is because we want you to go back to your boss and deliver a message,” I said. My next punch in his gut knocked his breath out and he slumped forward.
Colin pulled him up again.
“Tell him Leah Michaels and her family are off limits. Tell him, the next time he wants to spy on one of us, he better pick someone his own fuckin’ size.”
I rammed my fist into his face again and felt his nose snap. The guy growled and this time Colin let go. His knees buckled and he fell to the ground like a bag of bones.
But he was still alive.
“I’ll dump him somewhere they can find him,” Colin said as I rubbed my bloodied knuckles on the side of my pants. “And I’ve got two guys watching the mother at the hospital.”
I nodded. “You better get out of here before she gets here. I don’t want her to see this.”
“I’ll tell Nolan to arrange for someone to take care of the bodies,” Colin said, grabbing the unconscious guy by the collar.
I watched him drag him all the way across the street and then dump him into the back of his truck.
I didn’t know where Leah was, but I wasn’t going anywhere.
Leah opened the door and stepped into her dark apartment. She didn’t notice me sitting on her couch at first. When she turned on the light and saw me, she was frightened, nearly jumping out of her skin with a hand on her heart.
“Aidan! What are you doing here? You scared me!”
“Shut the door, Leah, and come in.”
I’d had enough time to think in the time that I waited for her.
She was the only girl I’d ever loved and
it was unlikely that I would love anyone else again. We had both made mistakes.
Leah did as she was told and came towards me, taking small steps, unsure of herself.
“I didn’t expect to see you again,” she said.
“I needed some time.”
“Do you want a drink?”
“I just want you to listen to me,” I said.
Leah stood as far from me as she could. It was pretty clear to me that she had no idea what had happened with the Baron men exactly. I wanted to keep it that way.
She didn’t need to know how close to real danger she had come today.
“I’m listening, Aidan,” she said, interrupting my thoughts.
I stood up and went towards her.
“I don’t need to lecture you on the consequences on our lives this is going to have. You gave our son up for adoption. I know you haven’t been able to forgive yourself for it.”
“I never will,” she admitted.
“That is not what I’m here to say.”
“Then why are you here?”
“Because the more I think about it, the more clear it is to me that I will never be happy without you.”
Her face flushed pink. She pursed her lips together like she hung on my every word. Was she holding her breath too?
“I’m in love with you, Leah. I have always been in love with you.”
She parted her lips and gulped. For a few moments it looked like she was frozen to the spot, then she raised both hands to her face.
“I never thought I would hear you say it.”
“I never thought I would either, but fuck that. They’re just words, Leah. I plan on showing you every day that I actually mean them. Never again will you ever have a doubt in your mind that you should stay.”
“I don’t ever want to leave,” she cried.
She ran to me and I lifted her up in my arms. Our mouths met and I kissed her deeply.
Then she buried her face in my chest, wrapping her arms around me. I knew she thought about our son. I stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head.
“Even if you don’t forgive yourself for it, I forgive you. I understand why you had to do what you did. You did it for him,” I said.
“I love you Aidan Doherty. I have never loved anyone else.”
Thirty
Leah
Aidan carried me to the bedroom where he smoothly laid me down on the bed.
I felt hot tears burning the backs of my eyelids. I was in tears because of how happy I felt. I didn’t think I could be happy like this again. I didn’t think I deserved it.
But there he was, stretching his muscular strong body over me. He framed my face with both arms, covering me completely, kissing me. I felt so small underneath him. He could crush me any moment if he wanted to, but instead, he handled me like I was a delicate flower.
I definitely didn’t deserve it.
I kissed him back passionately, sucking on his bottom lip, undoing his buttons with fumbling fingers. I pushed his shirt off to feel the toughness of his muscular shoulders.
He pulled his mouth away from me so he could look at my face.
“Do you even know how beautiful you are?” he asked.
“I haven’t felt beautiful in years. Not since I left this town.”
“I want to help you get over the guilt, Leah. You can’t live like this. You can’t allow your past mistakes dictate your future.”
I blinked the tears away and nodded.
“I know. You’re right. Since we’re together, I will finally have something to look forward to. A life.”
He kissed my forehead and I couldn’t help but smile.
“I’ve already wasted a lot of time blaming myself for pushing you away, for losing you. I thought it was my fault,” he continued.
I shook my head as hard as I could.
“It wasn’t you. It was my father. He masterminded the whole thing because of his religious beliefs. He made my mother follow him blindly, and made me believe that I had no other choice.”
Aidan sank on top of me. I could feel his heavy weight cover me and I basked in the glory of the comfort and safety. Nothing else made me feel like this.
“I’ve missed you so much, Leah. I want to do whatever it takes to make up for lost time.”
“Me too.”
“I want you to live with me. Leave this stupid apartment. Quit your job and move in with me.”
I was hot all over. I couldn’t keep up—things moved fast now. The past five years had moved so slow it felt like a decade.
“I enjoy my job there, but yes, I’ll call my manager tomorrow. I’m sure she’ll be happy for me. I just want to be with you.”
“You’ll find something to do here that you equally enjoy. We’ll figure it out,” he said, covering my face with kisses, making me giggle.
When he looked into my eyes again, I knew I had to tell him. I couldn’t keep the excitement all to myself.
“There’s something else that I’ve figured out,” I said. He furrowed his brows for a moment while I grinned wide. “We can meet our son.”
Aidan had to sit up in bed when he heard what I had to say.
I sat up too. I beamed with joy and I knew he felt it too.
“You’re not making this up?” he asked. I shook my head with a big smile on my face.
“Mom gave me the idea today at the hospital and so I called the social service agency that worked with me during the adoption. As it turns out, the parents left it open ended. Meaning it is up for discussion.”
Aidan rubbed a hand over his face frustratedly.
“Which means that we can get in touch with them and hope they haven’t changed their minds.”
I bit on my bottom lip hard.
“They haven’t. I called them straight away when I got their number.”
Aidan jumped off the bed. I couldn’t remember ever seeing him this excited and happy about anything.
“Are you serious? What did they say?”
I sat on my knees on the bed, with my hands clasped in my lap. I was so happy I got to share this with him.
“They’ve named him Ralph. He just turned four—which I already knew. But yeah, they said he’s amazing. So curious and smart. Asks a lot of questions. They have already told him he was adopted because they wanted to have an open and honest relationship with him. They said he’s happy. He’s too young to feel any sense of anger towards me for giving him up I guess.”
Aidan listened to every word intently.
“So, if we meet him now…if he is a part of our lives in some way now, we can bypass the angry phase.”
I nodded. “We can be honest with him too. He should know the truth. He should know his father would have never given him up if he knew.”
“And his mother would have been the best mother he could have hoped for, if only the circumstances were different.”
Aidan came to me and pulled me into his arms. We kissed again, but this time we were both laughing. Neither of us could contain the joy.
He held my face in his hands and searched my eyes.
“I know this is too fuckin’ soon and you can shoot me down if you want, but what if we have more kids? What if we turn this thing into a real family? Something to share with Ralph if he wants to be a part of it.”
My heart raced so fast I thought it would beat right out of my chest. I’d never dared to dream of more children. Another thing I didn’t think I deserved but now that Aidan said it—I couldn’t stop picturing it.
This time, we would do it right. This time, I was ready and so was he.
“Yes, I would love that, Aidan. I want to be the mother to all your children,” I said, right before he scooped me into his arms and kissed me all over again.
After spending the rest of the night in bed and not leaving the room for even a moment because we didn’t want to be apart—I finally slipped out at around five in the morning to make us big mugs of hot cocoa.
“We need sustenance of some so
rt!” I exclaimed, returning with the mugs. Aidan, who was completely naked now, sat up in bed.
I was naked too. Exactly the way I liked to be around him. Nobody looked at me the way he did—like he was ready to devour me.
We snuggled up together, drinking the cocoa and tracing shapes on each other’s arms. All of a sudden, it was like no time had passed at all. I was back in high school and Aidan was my bad boy new boyfriend every girl in town wanted.
He still made me feel that way.
“I don’t want to bring this up and spoil the night, but hey, it’s morning now so we can talk about it,” I said.
The look on his face told me he already had an idea what I was talking about.
“You said you were going to make Aldo Baron go away, but I’m still looking over my shoulder constantly. I can’t help but worry. Especially for Mom who is so helpless there in the hospital.”
Aidan reached for my hand and brought my fingers to his lips. I felt that longing between my legs again. All he had to do was touch any part of my body with his mouth and that always set me off.
“I have a few of my guys watching the hospital, so your mom is safe. You don’t have to worry about her.”
I was so relieved, I lunged at him and slobbered greedily all over his face and neck, leaving him laughing. Then he pushed me away gently so I’d have to look at him again.
“As for you, I’ve taken care of it. You don’t need to keep looking over your shoulder either. Aldo knows we’re together now. He’s not going to come for you because you have my protection.”
I wasn’t completely sure what he meant by all that, but I was willing to take his word for it. Aidan clearly knew what he was talking about.
“The Aldo Baron problem isn’t even close to actually going away. The war has barely even begun, but right now, my only concern is you and making this meeting happen with Ralph.”
I smiled so hard I felt like my teeth would fall off. My jaws hurt. Was it actually possible to be this happy?